Walk With Me, Not So Close -- Introduction: A New Day Brings New Disappointment. Always.

Story by Axio on SoFurry

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#1 of Walk With Me, Not So Close

I have no clue what came over me when I came up with the plotline for this. I'm just sitting in class, drawing a Siamese cat, and BAM! Hit with a story idea. Please, comment and tell me if I did something wrong! I hate doing stuff wrong, and I won't know if I did unless you lovable readers tell me. Think of it this way, if you tell me what's wrong, then I can fix it and make my story better :3.


Humbly Presenting,

A new series, written by the paws of Roguefever.

Walk With Me, Not So Close

Disclaimer: I own any and all parts of this story, except for the location in which the story takes place. All characters are copyright to me. This story exhibits romantic behavior between two males, otherwise known as gay behavior. If you do not like this kind of behavior, please, try reading something else, unless you wish to broaden your palette with something new. Who knows? You may like it.

Please, enjoy.

Introduction: A New Day Brings New Disappointment. Always.

Reidan

I exit my dad's car, feeling almost elated. Today is the first day of Junior year, and I intend to start it off on the right paw. My backpack is blessedly lightweight, it has yet to become acquainted with the books it will need to lug around, and so I enjoy a light-footed grace as I walk the remaining distance towards the crossing signal. My dad normally lets me out a few houses away from the signal so we don't have to dive into the soup of traffic known as the Bella Vista parking lot.

It's a nice school, aside from all of the assholes everywhere.

Normally I'm not this happy, normally I'm all doom and gloom, but today I'm trying to be different. I'm trying to start new. Unfortunately, as I walk across the quad in the brisk morning air, the world seems to have it out for me. That horrible bitch, and yes I mean female dog, Victoria, walks across the quad and hurls insults at me for no particular reason. She is a Chihuahua, and that joke pretty much tells itself. Needless to say, I hate her for what she did back in elementary school to me. I don't let her words bug me, in fact, I can't even hear them anymore. After going through what I've gone through, it becomes really easy to tune people out.

I turn the corner cheerily and progress into the hallways, waving hello to the furs I know and giving hostile glares to all of the known sports players. The glares are well-earned too. Those jocks do anything they want and step on anyone who tries to speak up or speak against what they do. I hate them. All of them. I used to know many of them too, and they let it happen. They didn't try to stop it, back when they were in elementary school with me. They were actually a part of it, and look at them now. Brainless jocks who drink steroids like lemonade.

I dismiss the negative thoughts from my head and glace casually down the hallway, spying a group of kids around an unfamiliar student. An unfamiliar jock. A foul taste leaks into my mouth from some memory that I hastily block. I automatically tense up when I see him, but I try and calm my instincts. I don't know him, and I haven't given him a chance, so no glaring for him. Not like it'd matter, I bet I'll have an accurate representation of who he is by the end of the week.

He's a tall, burly-looking panther, and, looking to be around seven feet tall, maybe more, he practically oozes confidence. I can tell just by looking at him that he's used to getting what he wants. I wonder if that's a weakness.

Almost like he has a sixth sense, he turns and looks directly at me. Immediately he switches on the charm, smiling at me good-naturedly and waving me over, but I just stare at him, blinking twice. One of the girls by his side whispers into his ear, and I can tell by the look on his face that she's telling him what a loser I am, and that he doesn't want to get involved with me if he values his social life, which he obviously does.

Or does he? For some reason, his eyes shadow over as if he is recalling a bad memory, and then they clear. He gets up.

Aw no, HELL no! I am not going through this shit again with a guy nearly twice my size! I feel a pinprick of fear in my chest, in the heavily fortified fortress known as my conscience. I haven't felt that in a while. I take a step back, a warning flashing behind my eyes. He starts walking towards me. He speaks. He has a rather deep voice, and it's soothing, really. I instantly hate it, how could someone part of a group of such terrible people have such a soft and comforting voice?

"Hey! I'm the new student, my name's Allen. Who are you?" He says cheerily. He closes the distance between us in four massive strides on his long legs, and extends his paw towards me. I search his eyes, trying to prize off the mask that I know is there, hiding his intentions. He can't be serious. Wanting to be friends with me? Where does he get off, that's the oldest trick in the book, and I wasn't born yesterday. I open my mouth and speak, my slitted, feline eyes catching the first rays of the sun as it rises over the buildings. I can't see what they look like, but the effect is immediate on the panther, and he's struck, spellbound as my opal eyes catch the shimmering rays of the sun. My voice travels easily, like a feather falling gracefully through the air, everyone falling silent to try and hear it.

"I am not someone you want to screw around with, so I suggest you take your false portrayal of the nice jock and leave me alone, because I do not forget the people who have wronged me."

I take a step back, and then another, ducking slowly out of the light, and backing away from him. He lowers his paw and regards me curiously, his liquid gold eyes trying to peer into my soul. I turn on the balls of my feet and sprint away, towards my one place of solace from all of the people who are watching. The library.

Yeah they can follow me in here, but most don't. It's a taboo for the jocks and their cronies to set paw into the library unless they're being forced to check out a book for their English class. And even then they're out the door before the librarian can even scan their Student ID cards properly.

In here, it smells like vanilla, and those of you bookworms like myself know that it's always good when a library smells like vanilla. That means it's chock full of old books, and new books, and every kind of book, because old books combine with the smell of new books to make a scent that is so like vanilla, stepping into the library is like taking a refreshing drink of cream soda. I could live off this smell, and be totally happy doing it, reading my days away until there's no work of fiction left in the entire room that I've yet to read. I'd do it if I could get away with it.

I arrive at school early every day out of habit, I normally want to get away from my dad as soon as I wake up, and school is sort of like a safe haven for me. That being said, I still have around half an hour before school starts, and that gives me time to, normally, browse through the millions of pages of reading material available at my fingertips. The library is rather large, maybe the size of three or four large classrooms put together, and one entire wall, floor to ceiling, wall to wall, Fiction. Entirely Fiction. It's heaven for a heavy reader like myself.

I smile and wave at the librarian, a nice, middle aged ferret named Ms. Sloane, before heading off towards that magnificent wall of literature. I spy a novel that tingles my sense of intuition and take it off the shelf, opening it in my hand carefully, as if it were some many-winged butterfly that, at the slightest disturbance, would alight and flutter away on the breeze. The smell of vanilla envelops me and I feel... relaxed. Like I was on vacation and just now reentered my house, having forgotten how much I love it.

All the barriers come down, all the parapets, all the buttresses, the fortress around my emotions slowly erodes away as I sit down on a plush beanbag chair and begin my reading. I'm quickly captivated by the storyline, it's a troubled romance that spawns out of nothing, out of something impossible, and slowly grows.

When I read, I completely lose myself in the wings of those paper butterflies, reading the scales that adorn them, placed by a careful paw and with much thought before setting the butterflies free, into the world to be enjoyed by any and all who wish to read them.

That being said, I tune everything out and sink back into the beanbag chair, the whole world seeming to become blurred and warbled as if I'm underwater. And then I let the book come alive inside by head, completely spacing out and playing out the story.

Allen

Well, today is certainly turning out to be entertaining, I think to myself as I carefully retrace the steps of that Siamese cat from earlier. He sure can run! I lose the trail after a few minutes or so, his distinct aroma, a complicated and intoxicating mixture of vanilla and cinnamon, having been criss-crossed by too many others for me to tell which way he went.

I guess I'll just ask around.

I walk up to a nice vixen who, at the sight of her, and if I were straight, would probably freeze me in my tracks and send me backpedaling away; she was drop dead gorgeous. Good thing I'm not straight!

"Hi, I'm Allen." I give her a nice feline smile. She turns, and where once she had the passive face of someone caught in mediocre conversation, there is now a face filled with interest. She looks me up and down, and I can tell by her eyes that she's noting my apparent build - courtesy of my attachment to a sport called water polo - and the sizable bulge of my crotch, which my tight-fitting jeans do nothing to help hide. My tail flicks idly behind me and she looks back at my eyes, apparently having reached the conclusion that I was someone worth knowing. She smiles.

"Hi. I'm Angelica. Angelica Lamantain, but you can call me Lica." Her voice seems nice, almost singsong and effortless, but I can hear the slightest strain in it, meaning that she isn't using her natural voice. Pfft. Girls. What are they trying to prove? She curls up her voluminous tail and arches her back a little, trying to show off her bosom. I almost laugh.

"Hey, I was wondering, do you know the name of another fur around here? He's a Siamese cat, maybe around six feet tall discounting his ears, lean, very good at running, and he has nearly white eyes." I measure about how far off the ground six feet is for her with my paw and point to my eyes with the other. She immediately scowls. Good. She knows who I'm talking about.

Her voice drips with sarcasm and loathing. "Oh, him? Allen, I don't think a stud like you wants to be seen around him, seeing as how you're new and all, and," She made an almost anticipant whimper, "so handsome. His name's Reidan. Why do you ask, did you try making friends, only to have him spout some idiotic nonsense about how he never forgets?" I nod, Angelica is one of those people who, with minimal effort on your part, will give you all the info you want and more, all you need to do is nod and act attentive.

"Don't mind him, he's just crazy. He hates all the jocks, and won't ever give anyone a reason, as soon as anyone asks, he just shuts up and runs away. He hates me too, from what I can tell. It seems us High School Bluebloods are just... too decadent a flavor for his more modest palette." I nod once more. Translated, that means: 'Reidan is a kid who doesn't like jocks, but won't tell why. I guess us popular kids are just too trollsy for him. He needs to grow a pair.'

I put a paw on my chin, acting as if I'm deep in thought. I look up after a while, Angelica is gazing at me expectantly, waiting for my reply. She has the look in her eyes of someone who sees what she wants and will do whatever it takes to get it. Yowza.

"Do you know where he might be right now?" Her nose crinkles in disgust and she loses a bit of interest in me, she starts twirling a lock of her hair around her fingers.

"He's probably holed up in the library; the kid's a total bookworm. I'm personally surprised he doesn't need glasses. Why, you going to try going after him?" I nod again. She winces and takes a small breath through her teeth, making a visceral noise. "Ooh, hon you don't want to do that. The kid might make a scene. Besides, he's got no real friends, he just sits in there alone whenever he has free time. Who knows, he might have a gun in his backpack and is waiting for the perfect excuse to kill somebody. He's a nut, if there ever was one."

I shrug nonchalantly and catch her in a hug, she audibly meeps and her tail floofs out to twice its normal size, but I'm not really paying attention. I'm too busy deep in thought. On my way here I had passed the library, so I should be able to find it again. "Thanks, Angelica." I say, and release her, and I must confess she looks rather disheveled, the fur on her cheeks significantly rosier than the rest of her body, and she seems flustered.

I turn around and head back the way I came, the gaggle of girls who were talking with Angelica before I arrived are now giggling like it's middle school, and they've just discovered how fun it is to talk about boys. They're so silly.

Unfortunately, my sense of direction was never something enviable, and so I rope another fur out of the crowd, quickly make friends, and ask him about the library. His eyebrows knit together, taking in my body type and my obvious love for sports, before telling me that people will talk if they see me going in there. He also, dubiously, tells me to stay away from 'that Siamese catboy'. Apparently he's 'had a rough time with his life, and for all everyone knows, he's a loose cannon just ready to Ka-BLAM right in the face of anyone who tries to talk with him'. When I ask him about what he means by a 'rough time with his life', the fur just shrugs and basically tells me that those skeletons are in someone else's closet, not his. Apparently, if I want to find out more about Reidan, I need to ask him myself. Like a pearl in an oyster, I'll need to work at getting him to open up before I claim the prize. I almost lick my lips, I love a good challenge.

I smile to myself as I'm walking, having left the fur to his business. This should be fun. Reidan has that whole 'Nerdy Chic' thing going for him, and it's a shame he doesn't wear glasses, he would be adorable in some rectangular frames. But the glasses would hide those eyes of his... By God, his eyes are simply breathtaking... When he was talking to me earlier, I barely even heard what he said. I was just simply mesmerized by those two large opals he has on his face. They're beautiful, in every sense of the word, and they change colors with the light. When the sun hit his eyes earlier, I could see countless flecks and sparkles of iridescence in his irises, the stark white simply exploded into a brilliance of color, soft reds and gentle blues, I swear his eyes changed colors.

I'm so caught up in thinking about his eyes that I nearly walk right past the library again. I feel like such a klutz sometimes! The only reason I'm snapped out of my trance is because I pick up Reidan's complex scent again, only the vanilla half of it seems to be supercharged until I realize it's because the air wafting out of the library smells just like vanilla. I smile to myself and walk inside, through the open door.

The librarian is a ferret, and she looks up when she sees me walking in. She does a super-fast double-take before reflexively grabbing her book scanner, eyeing me and raising her eyebrows like she's saying "Come at me, bro. I can scan faster than you run". I nearly burst out laughing before remembering that I just walked into the library. I go up to her and her eyes are all twitchy, as if she's trying to predict my next move.

I clear my throat softly. "Uhm... what are you doing, Miss?" I raise an eyebrow and give her a quizzical stare.

She never takes her eyes off mine. It's really creepy. "I'm waitin' fer you to try and get past me without lettin' me scan the book you're gonna check out. Whose class are you getting' the book for?" Her voice is a surprisingly pleasant Southern drawl. Without the cuss words.

I tilt my head in confusion. "I was actually here looking for someone."

She visibly relaxes and puts down her scanner, although she is reluctant to release it. "Just don't make a mess." She looks down and sighs. "Who you lookin' for, golden-eyes?" Her gaze lifts back up and she's actually quite nice looking for a ferret. Must be because she's a librarian.

"I'm looking for Reidan." I smile as I say it. Her eyes cloud over in fury and she leans across the counter, staring me down even though she's at least a foot shorter than me.

"I swear to high heaven, if y'all think you can bully Rei, make fun of him, or make him feel bad, by God, I'll have a Detention slip with your name on it before y'all can say 'Overdue Fees'! That boy has been nothin' but sweet since his Freshman year and all them other kids have been pieces of shit to him. Right down despicable." Her eyes glint in the light, and even though we're in a library, her quiet voice does not fail to make me afraid. Yeesh! Talk about angry! You'd think he was her son or something, the way she's all uppity over me wanting to talk with him!

I put both my hands up, surrendering. "I don't want to make him feel bad. I just want to know more about him. I want to be his friend." She doesn't look like she buys it. I drop the act and put on my serious face. "I just want to be friends with the kid... he seems so lonely."

She makes a face and leers at me mockingly. "Oh, like I haven't heard that one before. A big jock like you, wantin' to be friends with the one ev'ryone hates. How adorable - no, how noble of you. Only, when the kid least expects it, y'all embarrass him in front of the whole school, and make his life even more miserable. I may not look it, but I've been at this school fer fifteen years, and I've seen it happen over and over again, bub. I aint falling for that. What I can't piece together is why y'all haven't left me to my ranting to try and find him? You know he's in here, 'nd I'm sure that if you 'gnored me from the get-go you'da found him by now."

"Because I'm trying to convince you I'm not a bad guy. I care about your opinion of me, and I don't want it to be something bad. The same goes for Reidan, so naturally I would want to be his friend. Other people might not care what he thinks, but I have a feeling that some extraordinary thoughts swirl around in that head of his, and I want to hear them. Also, he has the prettiest eyes..." I trail off and nearly zone out, remembering the way his eyes changed colors so instantly. It was entirely like watching fireworks.

I quickly snap back to reality when I hear the librarian chuckle. "You got an eye for him, do you now? Don't bother denyin' it! I can spy it in yer eyes." She looks at me, deep in thought_._ I look away, glad that my midnight blue colored fur covers up my blushes nicely. I would love it if he turned out to be gay, like me... although, hoping that Reidan might be gay is a little too much optimism, even for me. I'll just stick with trying to be his friend. After a while she looks up and locks eyes with me again, maybe trying to tell if I'm lying to her. Soon, she drops her gaze again and sighs. "I've been lookin' for someone like you to be that boy's friend for a long time now. You better not hurt that boy, or by God there'll be hell to pay for you 'nd all yer buddies who help you." She points towards the shelves near the back of the room, over her shoulder. "He holes himself up back there 'til the bell rings. Poor boy never has any company back there, jus him and them Fiction stories."

I smile and nod at her, heading back there, and she calls out after me.

"You be nice to that boy, you hear? He aint done nothing bad to you, I expect y'all to do the same. You don't seem like them other jocks. Prove me right, golden-eyes." And with that she lets me on my way, a big smile plastered on my face. She seems to really care about Reidan, and I'll try not to let her down...

I walk past a few rows of shelves and arrive at the back wall of the library. Lo and behold, that Siamese cat with opal eyes is sitting there, curled up in a beanbag chair at the beginning of a good book. His dark grey ears flick every so often, and the like-colored tail of his twitches every now and then too, as if he's reading something particularly exciting. He almost looks too cute to disturb.

Almost.

And it's because of that almost that I slowly reach over and tap him on the shoulder.

Reidan

... it was a place spoken of only in fairy tales. At the center of the small lake, a singular beam of sunlight lanced through the verdant foliage overhead, piercing the crystalline waters and reflecting off the surface. Massive trees surrounded the body of water, their large leaves tinting the sunlight green as it made its way through the leaf cover to light the scene. The water's surface was as still as a mirror, yet rippled almost imperceptibly as a soft breeze whispered through the leaves overhead.

He looked out across the lake and saw someone, dressed much like himself, staring back at him. A girl. She instantly disappeared, yet her image remained and burned itself into the memory of the boy on the other side. She was stunning; her auburn locks of hair catching the ambient light like the finest threads of copper, shimmering with their own light. Her eyes were a deep blue like that of the center of the lake, and, if given the chance to see them again, the boy was sure he would just fall into their depthless gaze, helpless.

He had seen her, but his view had been fleeting, and so only the two most impeccable characteristics of her engraved themselves into his mind, and he held fast to them like a drowning man to a rock. He must see her again, he decided. He must find this girl and find out why she had been able to steal his heart so quickly: with just a glance of her beauty she had captivated him and held him there, mesmerized on the opposite shore, for hours. He -

The spell that was over me shattered into a million shining pieces and was scattered in a nonexistent wind, only to be recollected when I had time to open the book and start reading again. I nearly let out a cry of surprise when I feel a rather large paw on my shoulder, accompanied by someone saying, "Hey... Reidan."

I quickly snap the book shut, only remembering at the last possible moment to look at the page number so I could return to where I was when I was so rudely interrupted. I turn my head. That panther from earlier is there, seven feet tall and looming over me like he thinks he's some god come before a mere mortal. Allen.

Thoughts fly through my head like they were in a hurricane_. What's he doing in the library!? This is my place, not his! His kind have no business in here! Oh hell, he's going to beat me up isn't he...? Maybe I can get away... but what if he brought some friends? Would Mrs. Sloane hear me if I cried out?_

Springing to my feet with speed aided by panic, I quickly pick up my backpack and sling it across my back in a single, practiced movement and turn to face him. I back away from him slowly, and my quick reaction seems to have left him puzzled. Or maybe he's just acting puzzled so I let down my guard.

"Woah, slow down there, where do you think you're going?" He puts up both his paws and I flinch, expecting some sort of attack. Lowering his paws, apparently having guessed that it wasn't the best idea, he advances slowly.

I say nothing.

"Look, I honestly have no idea why you don't like me. I don't even know you, aside from your name, and I had to go around asking other people to learn that. I want to be your friend."

He can't be serious, can he? He really thinks I'm going to fall for that?

I say nothing.

"Come on, I promise I won't bite."

Hah! He thinks the word of a stranger to someone like me is something worth trusting! How cute.

My mental smirk dissolves and I puzzle to myself about it. Cute? What do I mean by that? I'm straight. And I don't want a relationship anyways... the last time I was in one -

Allen reaches over and grabs my paw, and I start, jumping a little. Shit... here it comes, he's gonna beat me up, I can tell. I close my eyes shut, waiting for the blow that I know is coming, and I start shaking. I try pulling my paw free, but his powerful grip holds me in place. It's a firm grip, and had I not been waiting for him to hit me, I would have thought of it as gentle.

Without wanting it to, my body betrays me, and tears well up from my eyes, though I try my best to hold them back. It works, barely, but I cough out a mangled sob, the impending blow to my body freaking me out. I start making small whimpering noises, and my ears fold back, my tail drooping. Why hasn't he hit me yet, I bet he's just watching me looking pathetic, laughing to himself! Bastard!

I risk opening my eyes just a tiny bit, and I see he's just standing there, holding my paw. No anger on his face, no mirth, and it confuses me. The confusion just shakes my focus, and the tears that I've desperately tried to keep in check find the weakness in my resolve and waste no time in spilling over my cheeks.

Allen

I stand there, with Reidan's paw in my grip, watching liquid emotion well up from those gorgeous eyes of his, filling to the brim before the opals can't hold any more water. His normal vanilla-cinnamon scent is tainted with fear and anxiety, the sweet of the vanilla and subtle tang of the cinnamon decaying into something bittersweet and sour. The tears cascade down his face without a sound, and his sob from earlier is still echoing through my head.

Without thinking, I immediately pull him into a hug, I just want to comfort him.

Reidan

Without warning, he pulls me against him in what someone would call a loving embrace. A loving embrace?

A soft smile inbetween kisses,

A paw to hold, supple and warm,

Stinging defeat and bitter resentment,

The endless fall through nothing as a loved one walks away.

My eyes widen and I barely manage to hold back a scream, the walls are caving in all around me, I can't breathe, I need to get away. My heart is beating like a jackhammer, the world is suddenly spinning in terrifyingly sharp focus. I feel like I'm going to vomit, I'm sick to my stomach. My legs suddenly collapse from underneath me because of my loss of balance and I slip out of Allen's grasp, falling to my knees with my head in my paws.

Get away.

Get away.

I have to get away.

I don't want to live through that pain again, please oh hell get away before you're thrown back into that pit of agony! Love always results in pain, terrible, deadening pain!

The world stops spinning and my heartbeat stops pounding in my ears, and suddenly the world lurches back to normalcy. I stagger to my feet while simultaneously walking backwards, only to stand up straight, turn around, and run as fast as I can, away, away, away from him who makes me feel like I'll fall forever without someone to catch me, just like the rain.

I bite back more tears, trying to force the memories and emotions that arose at his touch back into the feeble Pandora's Box they were oh so carefully locked in. She was my cloud, and she let me go, she let me fall, and I fell and fell until I hit the ground with a sickening crack. I never want to go through that again, I have to escape. Never again. Just keep running.

And so I do.

And I run until I reach my first class, with tears streaming down my face.

The first day of the year, and already I'm wishing that I was dead.

And there we have it. Something kinda weird from yours truly. Please comment to tell me it was terrible, or comment saying you loved it, or comment with a 'meh' feeling. In any case, tell me what I did wrong/right! It took me around three days to type out these 5000 or so words, and I'd like to know how I can make them better, if possible. I can't do that without feedback, though, and if the feedback I get is good enough, it'll just make me want to write even more of this story! :3