FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The computer screen in front of him seemed to be jumbling every word into a work of nonsense as Kevin erased the newly typed sentence, forcing a heavy sigh out of his lungs as frustration began to take over. His entire focus was supposed to be on his job but mentally, Kevin wasn't actually all there. His mind was roaming through thousands of thoughts that all came at him like a gun being shot at his brain point blank. All the scenarios, the memories, the feelings... It took him back to the one place he wanted to forget 10 years ago.

Arella. The City of Angels and the one place where Kevin imagined a world with... walking-talking animals!

It's crazy to even think about it now while he sat at his desk, watching the typing curser blink lifelessly as it waited for Kevin to begin typing the unfinished paragraph. The office wasn't too loud to distract him and the radio on his phone was off so usually this type of silence made the 26 year old go into a mental stroll through memory lane. His co-workers just zip by his desk while the printing and the occasional ringing of the phone jingled on so the noise was there to slightly distract him from thinking. But Kevin would eventually find a way to fall back into the dark zone.

As a matter of fact, 10 years without thinking about Arella was doing good for Kevin, the whole thing that happened so many years ago that it seemed to put Kevin in a world that led him to a tough decision. Kevin never really considered himself to be gay--especially with a make-belief character--but apparently a 16 year olds imagination was more powerful than he could even handle himself. What with the cutting of the wrist and the talking to himself and the imaginary friend named...

Demetrius Crawford.

At least, that's what the doctors and his family had been telling Kevin at the time when he awoke in the hospital bed. Kevin was apparently experiencing some psychological break down that it began to send him into a world created by his own imagination, keeping himself away from the reality.

It took years of therapy and counselling, but the doctors were eventually able to get Kevin grounded in the real world where he needed to be. No more talking animals and no more sexual feelings toward a Husky from his imagination. It was all just a dream.

An endless dream.

Now Kevin, 10 years later, moved on and with a healthy son and a well-paying job to support them both. Kevin had everything he wanted... except for Emily. His wife... well actually fiancé... Kevin and Emily never got to finish the plans for their wedding because of their son.

"Kevin, you have a call on line one."

The PA system sounded loud in his ears to snap him out of the daze he was in and realize where he was again with the screen untouched, the paragraph still not finished. Kevin hadn't realized how much thought he was giving into the subject. Picking up the phone, he pressed '1' and proceeded in a neutral voice, "Hello?"

"Hey there hard worker, how's work?" Clarissa's voice was sweet like honey that it made Kevin smile and feel like himself again.

"Oh you know, just watching the new fashion clothes here on the catwalk, they look gorgeous by the way." Kevin replied with a more playful voice.

Clarissa inhaled sharply as Kevin could imagine her putting her small hand on her hip, her face giving a little 'jackass' look to it, "Jerk." She laughed at Kevin's sarcasm, "Sorry to call you at the end of work."

Kevin looked at the time on his computer, seeing he was off in a few minutes. Hmm, time flies by when you think of how crazy you are, "Uhh, no worries. What can I do for yea?"

"Well Sky's been saying something about a student teacher thing and he's asked me to... well... go with you two. Don't know why but I thought it was cute and agreed to go."

"He put on that face again?"

She laughed, "The puppy face that melts my heart every time? Yeah, the little cutie did."

Kevin chuckled and took a breath, "Well I can pick you up on my way home and grab you two, we can grab some dinner too if you'd like. My treat since you were pressured into this by a 4 year old."

There was a drop in the background and she shuffled a bit, Kevin thought of her putting make-up on in front of a mirror. "Yeah, that sounds great! I'll make sure I'll get Sky's good t-shirt on, he's eating some food in front of the TV right now so I don't want him messy."

Skylar always went to Clarissa's place after school since Kevin wasn't home till an hour after. Clarissa worked in a hospital as a nurse and always came home an hour before school ended so everything worked out for all of them seeing as she loved Skylar like as if it were her own child.

"Kay sounds good. See you then."

"Make sure you buy me something nice from the show, Kay?"

He laughed again, "I'll make sure it's pink."

The car ride was nice; Skylar was playing with his toys in the backseat while Clarissa and Kevin were in the front. Kevin took a turn and drove down the street as the rain outside pelted the Pontiac Vibe with brute force. Clarissa smelt good again and it made Kevin's senses go nuts as he loved the way the sweet air in his car was just arousing his nose enough to make him smirk the whole way. Almost made him forget where he was going.

Skylar had a kindergarten parent teacher interview today and as a father, Kevin had to go see how his son was doing in school to make sure he wasn't having any learning or physical disabilities or troubles. On the school letter brought home in his mail baggie, apparently it was urgent for a parent to be here for one of these. The joys of being a single dad just got better every day.

"Thanks again for supper, Kev, how'd you know I love Chinese?" Clarissa smiled and sunk into her seat as she looked over at Kevin, her light brown skirt and baby powder blue blouse wrinkling into position. Her brunette hair shimmered wet from the rain.

"I just took a wild guess..." That was lie, Kevin's honestly seen her garbage can when he goes to pick Skylar up from her care and see's that she sometimes has Chinese boxes in it, so he went on a hunch.

"Well good job, I swear it's like you know me inside out sometimes." She laughed and glanced back to smile at Skylar who never seemed to notice her attention as he played with his toys more.

"That a bad thing?" He smirked.

"No, actually, it's definitely good." She smirked back and they both looked at each other at the same time, their eyes meeting.

"We're here! We're here!" Sky's cheery voice brought Kevin and Clarissa back to reality and forced them to both look ahead, their uncomfortable awkwardness that was radiating between them finally moved into place as Kevin signalled into the school parking lot and parked closest to the door. The rain outside was pelting hard now as they all exited the vehicle and rushed toward the schools front entrance.

"My hair..." The words were dreaded as Clarissa started to wipe her hair and face, trying to blot out the water with her sleeve.

Kevin just let out a small chuckle and opened the door as they all stepped into the front entrance, the dampness in their clothes making their clothes feel soggy and gross.

Once they reached the Kindergarten classroom, a family was just leaving with the teacher following them out the door, waving their goodbyes and smiling the whole way out. Wait till they see what's outside... Thought Kevin as he smiled lightly at the family who shuffled away with their daughter waving to Skylar happily, her smile bright and cute that it made Kevin get a warm feeling to see his son was getting along with the other kid. Once they were gone, the teacher sighed to herself and grinned down at Skylar.

"Hello Skylar." She said cheerily, her fatigue eyes showing that she's had a long day.

"Hi, Mrs. Fisherman." Skylar just shied away behind Clarissa's leg and the teacher followed her gaze up towards her, looking confused at first but when she noticed Kevin beside her she lightened up, "Mr. Justice, hi, it's so good to see you."

She knows Kevin's face from the start of school and also knew the history of his wife and the mother of Skylar, so when she noticed Kevin with another woman she only frowned slightly and turned to allow the group to walk into the classroom, rounding her desk at the other end of the room and taking a seat lightly in the wooden chair. The classroom was brightly colored with rainbows and numbers that it just screamed a school to Kevin, the small desks that were paired together in groups of four were placed strategically around the room with name tags placed in front of the chairs so the kids can recognize their spots. Kevin couldn't help seeking out his son's desk as they walked into the classroom but that was easily spoiled as Skylar ran towards his desk and sat quietly down in his chair, playing with the toys he brought with him.

"Alright," Mrs. Fisherman started with a sigh and opened the drawer to her left, moving some papers around and quickly whipping out Skylar's evaluation report, his name written in big letters on the cover page. "You're son is absolutely a wonderful person in the classroom, he enjoys the toys we have and respects them like as if they were actual puppies. Not to mention he also gets along well with others in the classroom and has the manners of a brilliant fourth grader." Atta boy... Kevin thought with a smile plastering his lips, making that warm feeling grow inside his stomach. "You raised a great son, Mr. Justice; Skylar's scores for the evaluation are with the highest marks in class so by looking at the papers there's no reason to give any problem and concern that we have at this moment. To be more specific, your son is...well... just going to do great in Kindergarten and with the attitude he holds now, I will guarantee that he will make it to the first grade. He loves his numbers and especially loves to write his name multiple times on practices we have in class. And, he's quite the artist, too."

Kevin blushed slightly and didn't know why; just the thought of his son having a future in arts gave Kevin an electrical shock through his stomach that it made him excited for Skylar's future... Wait, why was he here again..?

"He especially love's to draw your dog too."

Wait a minute, "Dog?" Kevin asked curiously, "We don't have a dog."

Mrs. Fisherman winced back curiously and looked over at Skylar briefly before slowly looking back at Kevin and Clarissa, "That's strange;" She said slowly, "Skylar likes to talk about a little Husky dog all the time... Saying that he likes to play with it all the time... and he even draws the dog too."

Kevin's blood jolted immediately with a sheer white cold feeling that it made everything in the room close in on him, the air that was in his lungs suddenly got sucked out and he was left to sit in his chair with a look of shock and utter horror, his skin completely going pale and the sweat on his warm skin began to make everything freezing in the room with every slight breeze in the room. This feeling was familiar to Kevin, and he remembered it well from when he was young. He felt like he was trapped inside a closing locker.

"Kevin?" Clarissa spoke shyly, looking Kevin directly in the eyes and placing her hand on his arm, her concerned face making the air return to his chest and his tense muscles to slightly relax.

"Yeah, sorry... Just wondering where he could have seen a little Husky dog somewhere."

He lied again, but this time it was to avoid the whole worry toward him. Kevin had to focus and force the past into the shadows of his mind again or else suspicion might rise to both the teacher and Clarissa.

"Well I'm sure someone has a dog in the apartment, I mean Sky takes the elevator up to our floor, and he might see one on the first floor." Clarissa smiled and didn't seem to worry about it as she finally looked away from Kevin.

"Yeah, that sounds more likely." Kevin's blood finally warmed and he could feel his world loosening its grip around him. What was he worrying about? It's just a dog, nothing out of the ordinary about that; Kevin sees them all the time!

"Regardless, Mr. Justice," Mrs. Fisherman smiled at the two and took her glasses off, her old and long-time experience with children showing in her brown eyes, "Skylar is just doing fine in school, and with his attitude towards animals, I might even consider getting a pet." She winked and Clarissa smiled at that, her beautiful eyes glancing at Skylar playing at his desk quietly.

Kevin only smiled lightly, instead. If he were to ever get a pet, it would most likely be a hamster.

After the meeting with Mrs. Fisherman and the damp drive home, Clarissa, Kevin and Skylar made it back to their apartment building safely. The elevator ride was full of laughter and when they reached their doors, Skylar was beginning to feel tired of the long day he had.

"I had fun," Clarissa smiled and looked up into Kevin's eyes as they stopped at her door, her hair damp and wet but the reflecting light of her skin made it seem like she was a glowing angel that fell from heaven.

"Yeah, me too." Replied Kevin, feeling his body becoming cold from being in wet clothes too long today.

"We... Should do this again sometime." She smiled.

"Definitely," Kevin smiled and took a step forward, attempting to give her a hug when painfully; Skylar piped up and shouted awkwardly.

"Like a family!"

That froze them both on their spot.

A family...

Immediately, Kevin's mind suddenly felt pain and sorrow and was reflected of the past as the amount of memories suddenly pushed through the locked door inside his head, unleashing a force of images and movies that were all made up of Emily. His wife. His love. Skylar's mother.

Tears suddenly formed into Kevin's eyes but not the type to fall down his cheeks because he immediately blinked them away. But managing to hide them from Clarissa was a different story. The knot inside his throat tightened and Kevin opened his mouth to talk but failed as he thought of Skylar and how he wasn't raised with a mother. It never really occurred to him that he maybe wanted a mother figure in his life. It was a missing piece in his heart and Kevin was blind to see that fact. Even though these thoughts flooded him with emotion, though, Kevin was still the father of his four year old son. At least he had him...

Clarissa stepped back when she noticed the small water build up in Kevin's eyes and that suddenly hurt him a little, but also a flash of annoyance entered his emotions too as she did so. It wasn't the fact that she wanted to respect the reason that Kevin used to be engaged, it's because it has been four years! And still to this day, at this exact moment in his life, Kevin still cries about Emily.

It's just... not easy to just forget someone you thought knew you best...

"Chinese is on me next time." She smiled and apparently opened the door behind her; she must have grabbed the door knob when she stepped back in retreat. But then she said good bye and the door shut between them, leaving Kevin to be left with his emotions flooding him up like a flooded basement and a tired four year-old.

It wasn't Skylar's fault for interrupting the human contact that Kevin has suddenly wanted for a long time, he's young and wasn't at the right age to understand. But still though, Kevin sighed and ushered his son to their home and towards the bath when suddenly a gush of wind burst through the living room and hit their damp bodies coldly.

It was odd, but when Kevin looked to find the source, all he saw was the patio door left opened all the way, and the faint smell of wet dog...