Ode to Pollution
This is my satyrical contribution to Earth Day and it was done in roughly two hours' time. It was amazingly fun to write.
Ode to Pollution
Earth Days come and Earth Days go But this is the one that we'll all know In an age where green is considered kind Another has something else in mind Recycling cans for a tenth of penny? Planting trees for the benefit of many? These are the notions of hippies and fools But soon he'll show them all who rules
Roaring down the street in a vehicular monstrosity Black smoke belches from his Chevy Vega, circa 1970 A jolly wave is given to all he sees As passersby drop to their knees Their lungs fill with black and their faces turn blue But what else do you expect monoxide to do?
When not wasting paper or laughing at yuppies He's igniting coal fires and kicking cute puppies Chemical contaminates are simply sublime Poisoning reservoirs one at a time Clear-cutting forests sounds like a lark While a chainsaw symphony tears through Central Park
He's called a criminal for thinking outside the box For releasing a deadly, airborne pox But he looks so fashionable when he works And being evil has its perks
So hard to choose from snake-skin belts Which one most accentuates his wardrobe of pelts? His boots are cheetah, made from a king His coat is lion hide, it's truly stunning Gloves fashioned from rabbit, albino A cane tipped with the horn of rare black rhino
He's seen as the enemy of green and peace, The minds of the ignorant so easy to fleece For pollution isn't limited to the seas or the skies Liberating people from new-age propaganda and lies Truly, he is a leader, a manipulative son of a bleep Herding the masses of mindless sheep
This rogue, this Pyke, the enemy of environmental law He's a clever corrupter of any you saw CFCs are nothing to ban Without ozone you'd get a better tan BPA was a tactic scare Designed by those always shouting "Beware!" One can trust the powers-that-be Without infringing personal liberty
His ranks swell with a generation lost Disenfranchised souls society tossed The youth are the future in this deciding war Cured of their brainwashing, they shout "No more!"
He's not the monster, he is the solution While making a buck from global pollution It's expensive funding business affairs While putting on magnificent airs His pawns can assume the blame for the brawl He'll live it up while they all fall
But where are the heroes on this day? They were paid to stay out of the way Even those who fight for right Turn corrupt in the scope of his blight And when all is over, said and done He will have won and had his fun Victory is his, the fox quite slinky Disappearing to perfect the weaponized twinky