Life is cold.
Well,this story is partially true,and other things are invented,but my life is going in that direction.
I have yet to finish it,and sorry for all my mistakes,i am kinda new at writing,and english is not my first language.
This world is ugly, and my life has been going down...
Addictions ,depression, i have to inject myself again to be happy, for only 5 minutes, but being happy and in peace, thinking about my little ponies.
every time I don't take my dose, i see this harsh, gray and cruel world that I am forced to live in.
I wish I could be in equestria, or at least, have a pony.
I always loved Applejack,and it was the first toy i got,i treated her like my friend in harsh days.
I have them, but they go when I am clean, they become only plushies and dolls, devoid of life....
I struggle every day to live just another day, but in the bottom of my heart just i wish to die.
Maybe that is the only way to be in equestria,and if its not, at least I am going to be away of all this pain.
I live alone, long ago I lived with my family, but that was long gone.
my wife left me, and my son too....my parents died, and I am still in this decrepit house, hoping the nightmare will end soon.
every morning I wake up, I ask myself "why won't this end? why I had to live another day, feeling all this pain? why can't I just pass away in my dreams, being trapped in them forever, happy in equestria?" I wash my face, and look myself in the dirty mirror,i am rather unkempt, i did not care for my hair or look when I was happy, now I look like a living corpse.
My house looks like an abandoned house, maybe because I like it that way, or maybe because I don't care anymore.
I wish I could be in coma, at least...
my life is reduced to being sitting in my couch, looking at the chaos that has taken of the city, the gray clouds, and watching TV, just hearing news of mass murders, panic, and mayhem.
How could we get this low? who knows, not me, but I just wish this agony to end.
I just sit cuddling to my little pony figures, taking another shot for being happy for a short time...
my job barely keeps me going, i was always terrible in school, being suspended, catching fights almost every day, taking drugs and drinking in middle school, arriving at my home always late, with bloody bruises, scars and always high or drunk, my mother just kept crying, but I was too high to care about it, I just ignored the angry yells of my parents, and lock myself in my room to watch FiM or listen to music, the combined effect drowning my worries, and I ran away from my home multiple times, taking my beloved Applejack with me, going to a place long forgotten by time, now a haven of drunkards,hobos,thieves,gangs and bums..I always took my fold knife in the side of Applejack, just in case...
One day I was brutally beaten by a gang, and other day,i stabbed a drunk tramp that was just picking on me.
My grades where always abysmally low, and that caused conflicts with my parents every day, I think they divorced because of me....I was always a lazy ass,and that does not change now.
When I thought they were going to reunite in a date, that was the day they died in a car crash...boy,i remember it with dread...
I am in a band, with the only friends I still have, but things are looking grimm,i have not seen them in a long time.
My job at the morgue just adds a little joy to my life, being alone with beings that don't judge me, and seeing the sadness in the faces of the people outside, their tears of pain, it reminds me of when my aunt died long ago...
Every time I see a corpse,i think of committing suicide, being the next under the knife....but I clear my head, walk the miserable path to my house, and enter my domain, just to watch another episode of FiM,and smile away from the world confined by my mind, ever so happy, ever so carefree, ever so lovely....today it is not different, i saw someone being killed in a fight...