Medicine Bear

Story by bearwithin on SoFurry

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After getting lost, chased by a bear, and falling off a cliff, the character in this story meets a mysterious but wise medicine bear. He learns how to overcome his own inner conflict and find peace. After all, you can't keep running from the bear forever...


Near the top of Black Mountain something blew in my truck. The cloud of steam and the dripping oil told me it wasn't going any further.

Well that's just great, I thought as we rolled to a halt at the side of the road. I really didn't need this, on top of everything else.

You know the Black Mountain road... windy as all hell, and steep. And you know how it winds around that big ravine before you drop down? Well that's where I was, and facing a long walk to town.

Lucky I had on my hiking boots. There's a lot of forest up there, but I figured I could easily climb over the ridge and cut off the long bit around the ravine. So off I went, leaving my truck gently smoking and hissing by the road.

It went pretty well at first. I climbed up to the top of the ridge without any problems, though I did work up a sweat. However, when I got there I found another gully on the other side, deeper than I expected. It looked like a long way down. Still, it was only the middle of the day. It would be a nice walk anyway, and would help to clear my head. I just had to turn left a bit and climb up the ridge, which would take me around the gully.

That took nearly an hour, but the view made it worthwhile. Once I got there, I thought I could see where the road went down the hill on the other side of Black Mountain. Great, I thought. My shortcut was paying off.

I was starting down the slope when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It was just a fleeting glimpse through the trees, but what I saw looked brown and shaggy and quite large. Could it be a bear? I picked up the pace, even though I told myself that I was seeing things.

I was going downhill at a nice steady speed and starting to relax when I saw the shaggy shape again, clearer this time. Definitely a bear - large and brown. Was it closer? It didn't seem to be coming towards me, but just standing on its hind legs looking at a tree in a casual way. I wasn't quite so cool, though. In fact I was a little worried. Still, I didn't want to panic. Bears don't usually go for humans.

I thought I had left it behind until heard the crack of a branch breaking behind me. I turned to look back up the slope, and there was the bear, very real, and closer than before. He must have been following me.

My legs said Run!, and I obeyed right away. But I made myself stop again - you don't want look like frightened prey, after all. The road couldn't be far. Surely the bear wouldn't go much farther, as we would be getting quite close to town.

Where was the road, anyway? Now that I was down off the ridge, I couldn't see the landscape so clearly. Still, it couldn't be far ahead...

I glanced over my shoulder, and was horrified to see the bear behind me, not really looking at me but loping easily through the trees. This time, I couldn't control my legs any more, and I broke into a full run. I was still going downhill, and I dodged around trees and leaped over fallen logs in my blind haste to escape. But every time I looked back, there was the bear, his fur gleaming a rich brown in the sunlight, pacing along through the trees to one side or the other, pacing me. Was he waiting for a mistake? Some sign of weakness?

The trees flew by in a blur as I gasped for breath. Why?, I thought. Why is he chasing me?. I wasn't thinking too clearly.

Suddenly the trees were gone. I had an impression of space, distant mountains and nothing but air in front of me. Then I tumbled over the brink and down a steep slope of loose rocks. I bounced and rolled and hit the bottom hard, mostly on my head. The last thing I saw was the bear, standing nonchalantly at the top of the slope and looking out over the valley, and then I fainted.

***

I woke up in darkness with my head throbbing something fierce. Where was I? I remembered mountains, forest... and a bear! I tried to move but a sharp pain shot through my head and I almost passed out. My sight was blurry and I could hardly see.

What had happened? I recalled running away and falling. So I should be at the bottom of a slope, on hard rocks. But instead I lay on a bed of some sort.

I heard the sound of someone moving, feet on a wooden floor. A cabin? I wished I could see. But the light was too dim and my head hurt so much...

"Careful there..." said a deep voice. "You've had a bad fall. Try not to move."

The Person, whoever it was, came closer, and I noticed he had a distinctive smell. Not unpleasant, but wild. Perhaps a prospector or trapper who had carried me back to his cabin?

The voice spoke again. "Drink this - it will make you feel better." A mug of warm, aromatic liquid was held up to my mouth. I took a drink. Wild honey sweetened the bitter taste of herbs. I noticed my thirst then, and the first mouthful made my head hurt a little less, so I drank down the rest.

I lay back, and found a pillow under my head. I still couldn't see much, but a gentle warmth pushed the pain out of my head. Then I started to feel very tired, and before I knew it, I fell asleep again.

The next time I woke up, I felt much better. The headache had faded to a dull throb. Daylight filtered in through a window covered by an old sack, and I could see the inside of a small house made from rough-sawn timber.

I heard movement. Now that I could see, I was interested to find out who my rescuer was. Boy, did I get a fright.

The light in the cabin was still dim, but nonetheless there could be no mistake. The "Person" coming towards the bed was a very large, very brown, very shaggy bear.

But here the story gets weird, because this was no ordinary grizzly. His proportions were more like a man, with longer legs than normal. He was obviously used to going about on two legs all the time, and not just sometimes like normal grizzlies do. But thick brown grizzly fur covered his body, and he had big, strong claws on his hand - or were they paws? He had the face of a bear too, except it looked a lot more expressive and intelligent.

A simple leather loincloth covered his middle, and he had on a necklace of beads, with a little medallion on it marked with strange symbols.

Well, I was pretty scared as you can imagine. I might have jumped out of the bed and run off, but he stood between me and the door.

But then he said "Steady, there!" in that same deep voice, and I realised that this was indeed the person who had rescued me. Was he going to kill me now? It seemed unlikely. I tried to relax.

"Do you feel better?" he asked. I nodded.

"Good. That was a nasty fall. And it was cold last night. You are lucky I happened to find you."

He brought over some more tea, not tasting quite as bitter this time, and then a plate with some warm, unleavened corn bread. I was very hungry and it tasted great.

As I ate, I looked at the bear. I was still a bit wary but also very curious. He watched me calmly, his gaze seeming to be looking inside me as well as outside.

"Who are you?" I said, still chewing on the bread. He thought for a bit before he answered.

"You may call me Avonaco. I am the Medicine Bear of Black Mountain."

Well, that sounded a bit mystical and strange. But each to their own. "I got lost." I said. "Am I far from the road?"

He regarded me for a while longer before he said, "You are a long way from the road."

"I can't have got that far off course," I said stubbornly, "and I didn't go very far!".

"You may have gone further than you think," he replied, his gaze still serene, "and maybe you weren't so far off course, either. Few come here by mistake."

Then I remembered the bear chasing me through the forest, and a suspicion came to me. I looked again at Avonaco. Okay, so he had clothes on now (of a sort), and that other bear had looked like an ordinary bear. Still, could I have been mistaken? Or could he change his form at will?

"There was a bear..." I said, then had to pluck up some courage before I continued. "He chased me off the cliff. That wasn't you, was it?"

Avanaco chuckled, a deep rumble. "There are no other bears in these parts, and it certainly wasn't me. I never saw you until I found you at the bottom, already hurt."

"I'm telling you, I was chased by a bear!"

He nodded, slowly. "I don't doubt you. Black Mountain is a funny place, you know. Sometimes people who wander here see the things they bring along themselves."

This puzzled me, but before I could ask what he meant, he had me sit up while he looked closely into my eyes, first one and then the other. "Good." he said. Then he inspected the firm white bandage wrapped about my head. One thing about this strange bear, he certainly knew his first aid. His paws - or were they hands? - were large and strong, but surprisingly delicate.

I actually felt a thrill to be so close to him, for he was a magnificent sight. He had the same wild, strong, spicy smell which I had noticed the first time I woke.

He stood back and nodded. "You will recover nicely, young man. At least your body will. Do you feel strong enough to get up?"

I felt pretty good, and I wanted to see where I was, so I carefully swung my legs off the bed. The dizziness wasn't as bad as I had expected. He helped me to walk to the door.

Outside I blinked in the dazzling afternoon sunshine. When I adjusted to it, I discovered that the cabin stood on a little grassy ridge overlooking a pristine mountain lake. All around, the tree-covered slopes rose up to rocky peaks with patches of snow still left from the winter. I tried to find the familiar shape of Black Mountain to get my bearings, but I couldn't recognise it from this angle. I had no idea where I was.

Over the next few days, I quickly regained my strength. The bear turned out to be a gracious host as well as a talented healer. He taught me the names of many plants and how they could be used to help treat illness. He showed me how to make herbal tea and how to clear my mind by meditation. However, he would not talk about how I came to be there or how I would get back until a week had passed.

Finally, when we were sitting on the little wooden deck in front of the cabin and looking out at the sun setting over the mountains, he decided I was ready to listen.

"Your body has mostly healed." he said. "However, you must think also of your spirit."

"You were running from the bear. Now you have found a bear - me - and learned the bear medicine. I think it will guide you well. However, before you can leave, you must confront the bear you saw earlier, and find out why he chased you."

I pondered this, but I couldn't figure out what it was all about. The next morning, Avanaco gave me a small pouch with some corn bread in it, and a bead necklace with a round medallion. A stylised bear looked out from the medallion.

"The time has come for you to begin your journey." he said. He pointed up the valley. "The way back is that way, but I think you will have to face the bear before you can cross the pass."

"Will I see you again?" I asked. I was very keen to get home, but I had also enjoyed my stay with this unusual bear.

"You will, when the time is right!" he said. He embraced me tightly, and stood back.

"Journey well, and always remember the strength and the medicine of the bear."

I nodded, then turned towards the direction he had pointed and began my walk. I didn't look back for a few minutes, and when I did, I could see no trace of the cabin or the medicine bear amongst the thick trees.

I walked up the valley all morning, leaving the lake behind me. By the time I stopped to eat some of the corn bread, I was already high up and approaching a narrow pass between rocky crags. Avonaco's words preyed on my mind as I climbed. I had to face the bear before I crossed the pass - but what did that mean?

Things went well until I neared the head of the valley - and then I saw the bear again. It was definitely not Avonaco, but a real, wild, shaggy brown bear. He stood on a large flat rock right in the middle of the pass, and looked straight at me.

I turned and took a few steps back towards the valley, and he jumped lazily off the rock and started to pad towards me.

I wanted to run, but this time I remembered the strength of the bear medicine. I made myself stay still as the bear approached.

When he got close I could see that he was very big, and very strong. He slowed down and sniffed the air, then came right up to me. I shook, partly in fear but also from a strange thrill of excitement.

He stopped right in front of me, and stood still, watching. I looked into his dark eyes, and he looked into mine, and seemed to see deep into my soul. And in those eyes I saw strength, pain, wisdom, and, overall, a deep love.

Captivated, I slowly extended my hand to touch the side of his large, shaggy head.

At that moment, everything began to shift, turn, realign. I floated high above the trees, looking at myself and the bear, and I was the bear looking at me and myself looking at the bear, all at the same time. Then he seemed to leap at me, or maybe I fell into him, and an immense ocean of power and love enveloped me.

And then I found myself lying alone on the grass with the afternoon sun on my face. The bear was gone, and yet he wasn't. And then I finally understood - I was the bear.

I looked at my hands. The same old hands - and yet if I squinted my eyes a little, they were actually bear paws.

Suddenly elated, I leaped to my feet and ran to the top of the pass. Here I jumped on to the large flat rock where I - the bear - had seen myself sitting, and looked out over the forest.

Avonaco was right. The bear I had run from on Black Mountain was the bear I had brought along myself - the bear I had always been running from.

Well, not any more. That power and strength no longer frightened me. I was no longer afraid to be myself, to believe in myself. The bear was there, a part of me like he was always supposed to be.

I looked at the pendant that the Medicine Bear had given me, and smiled. I knew it would remind me to keep the bear medicine close at hand.

Looking down the forested slope at the far side of the pass, I could see the road in the distance, and beyond that the town. It was early afternoon, and I had plenty of time to get back before dark. I jumped off the rock and started down the hill.

***

Later that summer I went hiking and tried to find my way back to the pass. I thought I knew how to find it, but I must have got turned around somewhere because I never did find the beautiful lake or the little cabin again. I guess I must have got a bit confused what with running from the bear and then hitting my head. I haven't seen Avonaco again, but his bear medicine is always with me.

I am sure he is helping someone who needs it. I'll see him again when the time is right.