FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Jonathan glared at the "NOW LOADING..." screen of his email account, trying to make it load faster by sheer force of will. He'd been at his computer for the last few hours, and he'd already done everything he wanted to do online today.

There was a knock at the door, and Rachel loudly said, "It's me!"

Jonathan smiled. "Who is it?"

"Rachel!"

"How do I know it's you?"

There was a loud fart from the other side of the door. Jonathan went to the door, unlocked all seven of the locks, and opened it.

Rachel was standing there, in a pink skirt, and white T-shirt that was so low-cut that he could see her aqua-blue laced bra. She looked hot, as always. She also looked bored.

"So." Jonathan began. "What brings you here?"

"I need to borrow some money."

"How much?"

"Four hundred and fifty pounds."

There was an awkward silence.

"Why... Why do you need that much money?"

"For rent. My work's been slow lately, It's been a while since I posted anything new, and nobody's interested in my old stuff, and I can't find anyone interesting enough to get in those videos, so pay up, please."

"Okay, what about that parakeet roommate of yours?"

Rachel smiled nervously. "She's out of town for a few days, on a business meeting."

"Business meeting? She's a librarian!"

"Yeah, she's really secretly dating someone. I don't know who it is, I don't care who it is, and I don't want you doing some weird technology trick to figure out who it is!"

"Well that's a shame, because it would be pretty easy."

"I don't want to know!"

"Fine, fine." He grabbed his wallet from the top of a nearby table, and got out £450. He was about to pass it to her, when his computer dinged. He recognized the note as the one set to the big events, and he ran over to his computer.

"Let's see what we have here." He checked his events, and saw nothing. He checked his email, and saw a new email, coloured gold. All of his emails were automatically colour-coordinated. Red was urgent, blue was social, green was business or money-related, and if it didn't have a colour, it wasn't from anyone he knew, and was probably spam. The colour gold was reserved for invitations to important events, and he'd set a sound effect as notification. It was rare that he got a real gold email, they were usually just people abusing the system.

He clicked on the latest email, and read it.

<b>Dear Jonathan Lightningstorm.

You have been invited to the latest exhibition at the Nacrene Museum. There shall be a five-star celebration to accentuate the revelation of the release of the latest exhibits!

This invitation gives you permission for you, +1, to enter the museum for free, and see the amazing exhibits! Enjoy your free complimentary luxury cruise, and Travel through time, with the mysterious...</b>

Jonathan stopped reading, sensing that the email was beginning to go off into unscientific nonsense about "feeling as if you have traveled through time" and other boring fancy-sounding drivel, intended to appeal to the narrow-minded fools who, if they got their way, would turn all museums into a theme park.

He was also slightly annoyed at how they spelled his last name. It's not "Lightningstorm", it's "LightningStorm"!

Rachel peered over his shoulder, and began reading. "Oooh, permission for you, plus one! I could be your plus one!"

Jonathan raised his eyebrow. "Rachel, do you know where Nacrene is?"

"Nope!" She admitted happily. "But you know I love a good party!"

"True. But Nacrene is in Unova, do you have any idea how far away that is?"

"Nope!" She admitted happily again. "But you could totally fly us there, right?"

"You honestly expect me to carry you that far? To a museum?"

"Wait, a museum? No way, they suck."

"Relax, there's a free cruise, we can use that to get there."

"So, just to be clear: It's a museum, but there will be a party?"

Jonathan thought for a moment, weighing up his options. If he told her the difference between a party and a celebration, she'd never go. However, if she did come, he wouldn't look foolish for turning up alone. As an added bonus, she wouldn't get annoyed if he brought home a different girl, as she'd probably be with sixteen other guys in the other room.

He made up his mind. "Yes. There will be a lovely party, and it will be great."

Jonathan quickly covered his ears, protecting them from her sudden scream of delight. He was an Owl, so he couldn't smell anything well. This worked out to his advantage, when talking to Rachel. She could rip as many farts as she liked, and it didn't bother him. In fact, he found it rather amusing. However, despite being covered up by feathers, his ears worked fine, and the scream made him fall out of his chair.

She helped him up, literally jumping for joy.

Jonathan smiled to himself. This was going to be a great trip. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"This trip sucks!" Jonathan shouted, as he stuck his feathery head overboard and regurgitated last night's meal into the ocean, where some sort of stupid fish would most likely eat it.

As a bird, he rarely traveled by sea. Therefore, whenever he got on a boat, he would spend the first few minutes vomiting overboard, then he would slowly get used to the sea.

Rachel, however, didn't have this problem, and was already looking around happily, grabbing food from the plates of passing waiters she kept commenting on how great the food tasted.

Jonathan rolled his eyes, then vomited again.

"Hey, Jon, are all birds like this?"

"No, just the ones that can fly."

"So that would mean, what, every bird?"

"Actually, you'd be surprised how many species have the gall to call themselves birds, despite their inability to fly."

He vomited overboard again, and Rachel decided to look elsewhere for her entertainment. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the lower decks, Rachel looked around for something to do, or somebody to talk to. She noticed that most of the people on this boat looked unlike any animal she had ever seen. Some of them looked pretty strange, while others looked downright awful, but they mostly looked okay.

One of the okay-looking ones went up to her, and started talking to her. She looked like a cat, but fuschia, and with a small red gem embedded into her forehead. She looked at Rachel with deep purple eyes that seemed to shimmer with light, hope, and knowledge.

"Hi, Rachel Newberry! How are you?" She asked, smiling happily.

Rachel smiled back, unsure as to how this girl knew her name. "I'm feeling great today!"

"So, Rachel Newberry, Are you new here?"

Rachel laughed. "How can you tell?"

"Well, Rachel Newberry, it wasn't that hard. You arrived with that other guy, right? Well, first rule of traveling is to never split up. Everyone knows that, right?"

"Right." Rachel facepalmed. Even though she'd never even heard of this rule before, it probably only applied in this country, and she wouldn't need to follow it, because she can take care of herself pretty well. However, this girl seemed to believe in the rule pretty strongly, so she acted as if she knew about it.

The girl's red gem seemed to flash. Rachel ignored it, thinking it was probably a trick of the light. "You don't believe me, right?"

"No, not really. But since you know I'm new, can you tell me where I am?"

"Well, right now, we are on a boat."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Yes, I knew that. But why does everyone look different?"

"Different?" Her gem flashed again, and she suddenly knew what Rachel meant. "Right, you're one of those. Right."

"One of what?" Rachel asked, angered at her lack of a decent answer, and her creepy obsession with the word 'Right'.

"Oh, right, you don't know. Right, so, where you come from, everyone's an "Anthro", as you call them. We call them something else, but I think it might be impolite. Anyway, you've probably never been here before, but over here, we are all Pokemon."

Rachel's eyes widened, and for the first time in her life, she felt worry, fear, and pure, unadulterated terror. "Pokemon!? You are all Pokemon?!"

"Right!" The girl beamed brightly. "I'm an Espeon, my name is Clarissa, I'm from Johto, and my older sister got invited to some art exhibit going on. She brought me, because she thought I'd be useful."

"Uh..." Rachel examined Clarissa's thin, short, young, but energetic body, and wondered how she could be useful.

"You don't think I could be useful, right?"

"Right." Rachel admitted.

Clarissa closed her eyes, clenched her fists, and her gem started faintly glowing. Rachel felt herself get thrown upwards suddenly. She was smacked chest-first into the ceiling, and then dropped to the ground.

Rachel lay on the ground, panting. "What?"

Clarissa giggled. "I told you I could be useful! Well, I didn't, and I know that you just noticed that, but you thought I couldn't, and I proved you wrong, proving me right! Ha!"

Rachel got up, confused. "What?!"

Suddenly, a voice came from behind one of the doors. "Clarissa, are you messing with the idiots again?" The tone was cold, sharp, and pronounced with an accent similar to Jonathan's, but less britishy.

Clarissa quickly whispered into Rachel's ear. "Britishy isn't a word."

Rachel jumped back, outraged. "Are you reading my mind?!"

"Yes, but please don't hurt me!" She squealed, obviously sensing her intense rage.

The voice started again, and Rachel couldn't tell where it was coming from. "Yes, she reads minds, it's what she does. She also throws people about. I, on the other hand..."

The door opened, and a Glaceon stepped out. She was tall, graceful, and her mere presence seemed to make the temperature of the room drop by a few degrees. She looked like some sort of Fox, but blue, wearing long gloves that were a darker shade of blue, and dark-blue highlights at the end of her hair.

"Listen, Rachel Newberry." The way she said her name, it sounded like some sort of insult. "This nice, sweet little girl right here is my sister." The temperature of the room kept dropping as she talked.

"Right!" Clarissa smiled, as if it was a compliment.

"If you do anything to harm her, I will freeze your oversized chest, shatter it to pieces, then stab you with every last shard of ice! Do you understand?!"

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to hurt her."

"I heard her scream. And if you don't leave soon, I'm going to enjoy making you scream!"

Rachel stepped back, and quickly weighed up her options. If she tried to fight this Glaceon, she might win, but she might lose. She'd probably lose. She could spray her, but at the temperature of the room, the fluid would probably freeze up as soon as it was fired. She could try and gas them, but she had no way of knowing if it would work on them. This only left one option.

"Hey, Azure! She's thinking of fighting!"

"Oh really?" She put her hands close to her mouth, and blew extremely cold air into them. The air froze, creating a sharp icicle. She raised the icicle threateningly, and said "Just one move. One move, and that's it!"

Rachel got an idea. If this girl could read minds, and she was reading hers right now, she could show her some things no person was meant to see.

She quickly thought of every single internet porn video she had ever seen, focusing on the extremely disgusting ones.

Clarissa screamed, dropped to her knees, and started rubbing her eyes and head. "No!" She shouted. "No! Don't do that! Stop! Please! Stop!!!"

While Azure was distracted by her sister's pain, Rachel seized the opportunity to punch her in the side of the head, then ran she like hell. Despite being half-skunk, Rachel still had all of the energy and running speed that squirrels were famous for. Even though she knew this, she still couldn't help being surprised at how fast she could run when she was being chased by an angry icicle-wielding Glaceon.