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Romari Susi is a dirty old wolf, the emperor of a mighty nation, and the joint-CEO of a massive worldwide corporation; he's well respected, and is closeted from the rest of the world, though it's a poorly kept secret at best. He shares his bed with his straight-laced secretary, co-CEO, and mate Neal, who is a flying fox (AKA, a fruit bat). Luckily for their domestic tranquility, Neal is rather open to his mate's wide-ranging romantic exploits.

Joining them in their adventures is the captain of their imperial guard, a raccoon named Taxas.

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MEETING WITH DISAPPROVAL

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~Minutes pass~

Imperial Sovereign Romari:"Are you finally done?"

Sir Hans Friedrich Ferdinand III: "*Snrk* *Ahem* I zhink zo, yez."

Captain of the Guard Taxas:"I thought for a minute I'd have to perform mouth-to-mouth. Thank the gods that wasn't necessary."

Imperial Assistant Neal:"Sir Hans, now that you've had a moment to, err, digest the issue at hand, what is your professional assessment of the situation?"

Hans:"You are zcrewed."

Romari:"Thank you so much for that rousing bout of optimism, Miss Happy-Ray-of-Sunshine. Oh, wait. The undead hate sunshine. My mistake."

Hans: *Throws a flat look Romari's way* "Yez, you are qvite miztaken."

Neal:"Do ignore him, Sir Hans." *Narrows his eyes at Romari* "I believe the emperor's mental faculties are impaired from low blood sugar due to a critical fudge deficiency. Assuming it persists, I shall have to rectify it once we get home -- forcefully if need be. I still have quite a lot left over from last time."

Romari: *Fidgets nervously* "I...err... I think I'll just go over here and sit in this chair in the corner and stay quiet for a bit, if that's alright."

Neal:"Yes, thank you, sir. I believe that's for the best."

Hans: *Glances from Neal to Romari and back again* "I muzt commend you on your technique, Zecretary. It iz qvite imprezzive. You muzt tell me zhe ztory behind it."

Romari: "No!"

Neal: "*Ahem*"

Romari:"...sorry"

Neal:"Perhaps some other day, Sir Hans. For now, I believe we have business to attend to. Obviously, the more we can anticipate, the better our chances. Please elaborate on your perspective on this case. How do you expect it to go?"

Hans: *Chews the end of his pencil thoughtfully* "It iz notable for two reazonz. Firzt, you are very high profile, zo zhe judge vill be high profile too, vell-known by zhe media and public at large. Zhiz fitz a number of magiztratez. Zecond, zhe lawz have never been put to zhe tezt. It muzt be zomevon from zhe Board of Ztatutez, to zet legal precedent."

Neal:"The Board of Statutes. That makes sense, yes, though to my knowledge none of the board members are celebrities."

Hans:"I never zaid zhat. Zhey muzt merely be vell-known. Zhe mozt likely candidate iz qvite ztrict. She tendz to rule harzhly, vhich iz bad for you."

Neal:"And who would that be?"

Hans:"Zhe honorable Venicia Reddingz."

Romari: "Hmm."

Neal:"Heiress to the Reddings Conglomerate?"

Taxas:"But how is that well-known? Isn't that just a food processing company?"

Hans: *Simpers and toys with a laced sleeve* "Zhat iz true, tall, ztriped, and zexy, but zhey have qvite a lot of money for advertizement and propaganda, and she vill publicize zhe caze videly. Her name iz vell-known, even outzide governing bodiez." *Eyes Taxas thoughtfully* "And zpeaking of vhat governz bodiez--"

Taxas:"I'm sure His Magnificence would disapprove. Sorry."

Romari:"Actually, I wouldn't mind watching--"

Neal: "*Ahem*"

Romari:"--that not happen. At all."

Taxas:"See?"

Hans:"Damn."

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