Contest Entry: Tron Skates (Gluepaw)
As is this. Wish me luck in this little competition!
Mr. Salem Izmir Monday, March 9, 2012 Personal Proposition
My most esteemed compatriot, Let it never be said that our departments aren't assiduous folk! Carlson, one of the hardest working individuals in the Plaster Paws project, approached me on the first of the month with the blueprints for an additional device to work in conjunction with the gloves. Instead of a wrist-mounted multipurpose tool (which was my initial supposition before unraveled the prototype notes), it was a set of mauve and burgundy inline skates - strapped to the stitching with cutting edge technology - most of which still in the alpha testing phase down in Research and Development. Unfortunately, I was forced to reject the idea as it stood. Something just didn't resonate right when I aligned shoes with your daily attire (which is what I'm attempting to go for, hence the cuff retraction feature in the gloves mentioned in the manual on page 34). Then I realized why these two notions failed to mesh. I've never once seen you don shoes. Not once. Not sure if this is meant to correlate with your pseudonym or if you just have an inborn derision for footwear, but that was the primary reason the first design was rebuked. Feelings against the high-necked athletic shape notwithstanding, the idea of convenience and mobility had been wound in knots for the better part of the weekend. With the aid of my most trustworthy subordinates, I perused the net for ergonomic, genteel footwear that either contoured and enveloped or exposed parts of the foot and as we trundled through the Information Wormhole, only two articles piqued our interest - the ostentatious Vibrams FiveFingers with complimentary Injinji socks or the relaxed and suave Ecco Men's Sandals. As customary around here, we held a plebiscite to see which one the managers would prefer (disguising it as an innocent query, considering most of the laboratory hasn't one inkling about the Plaster Paws being sent out to you). Personally, I had a light partiality towards the Vibrams, if only for their innovative design...even if finding them in anthropomorphic sizes would be a pain, but the sandals won out by a landslide. We went with the more tawny coloration [See: http://bit.ly/yHBSXW & http://bit.ly/yYWr57 ] to better suit your casual ensemble and discussed methods of incorporating the bells and whistled the progenitor had affixed to it.
Here at TajLabs, we pride ourselves in pioneering advanced prosthetics, municipal utilities, next generation surveillance, personal computing devices, and ordnance for various levels of the military and private sector - but I'll be completely candid and say that we have no clue what the manufacturing of comfortable shoes entails. We possess neither the savoir faire to splice one together nor the machinery to test its longevity. So, we went on the prowl for a company that might be able to offer their assistance by permeating all of the general media methods. Nevertheless, attempts at contacting various shoemakers were for naught as many of them rather we not associate, let alone collaborate (and I can't fathom why that is - you'd think a conglomerate or two would jump at the opportunity to be labeled as one of our constituents). Calls were made well into the nocturne hours and advertisements were placed on high traffic sites (kept vague, just in case one of them happened to be one you frequented), shift after shift returned empty handed. Truth be told, we were just about to scrap the project in favor of another one, until we received a callback from an A&Y Associated Shoe Enterprise at around midnight. Now, the provider did mention that their chain was focused around the European nations, primarily Germany - but they'd be willing to send a representative over as soon as possible. The individual who arrived was rather...eccentric, to say the least. For someone hailing from Germany, he was bound in strange, obfuscating garb (which someone mistakenly called a burka) that was erroneous of the clothing I remember when I visited. One thing 's for sure, remaining clandestine was of utmost importance, though I do distinctly remember the scent of fresh neoprene filling the air as he sauntered by. Most of the Pet Project R&D was willing to overlook that triviality if only because how fastidious he was. He gave us a crash course on arch support and the signature musculoskeletal conditions to avoid, such as plantar fasciitis, and how. He even went out of his way to help Carlson revise his blueprints to correspond with the updated shoe, along with pointing out specific areas that would allow augmentation - stating that a device placed anywhere else would cause severe discomfort or the automation to snap under the pressure. No words can describe just how amicable he was, but just as soon as he arrived, he vanished. As a parting gift, he left a pamphlet on how to test shoe torsional and toe break flexibilities.
So came the ante meridian and the team was hard at work modifying the base the representative left us. First and foremost was the construction of the shoes themselves - along with precise sizing. Since relying on my memory isn't the most judicious decision, we set up a few wire-frame censors at gates and checkpoints you pass through regularly. Metal and absconded item detectors, motion tracked entrances, and a veritable cornucopia of other methods. We cordially apologize for this invasion of privacy, but don't fret! We only took snapshots of your feet - nothing more. Mapping the geometric data to a physical, plaster of Paris example, we deduced your size and went on from there. In an effort to make the sandals feel just as comfortable as walking bare foot (if not more so), we sprung for the highest quality materials: The most pliant and urbane gel inserts coated in the same fabric mesh as the original, sturdy, staunch soles that treated in a rubber glaze that was assured to withstand the test of time, and Velcro straps impervious to wear and tear. Now, all of this would have increased the purchase price exponentially - IF we were charging you.
Let's get down to brass tacks of the function rather than the form, shall we? The wheels are normally tucked away within storage centers on the grooves of the sole and flair out at the touch of a button on the side (and swap from roller to inline at a twist), but these aren't just ordinary translucent skate wheels bound with LEDs that you can find in retail. We've been working on a project for some time now similar to Aperture's defunct 'Hard Light'. However, instead of light being used as a platform, light becomes a syrupy substance capable of ensnaring large objects traveling at high velocities. It was originally meant to be a more aesthetic alternative to the traditional fly paper, both attracting pests, adhering, and incinerating them - but we decided to apply the same technology to the wheels, sans the 'incineration'. On command from the Plaster Paws (two taps of the thumb and middle finger in rapid succession whilst the wheels are ejected), the wheels spew a trail of lustrous, diaphanous and amethyst 'Glue Light Wall', starting out as eight foot high flat beams and flourishing(and merging) into a 8' wall the longer the light is activated. Do note that once it reaches roughly twelve minutes of continuous use, the light with automatically shut down to deter overheating. Movement cools the cogs much faster than stagnation or storage, so do make sure to keep skating should you find yourself dealing with the five minute refractionary period. Now, how to phrase this next part without offending you... While I have perfect faith in your cerebellum and cochlea's abilities, I didn't want you do have to deal with arduous learning curve of roller skates, let alone inline skates. So, to offset that, we migrated the gyroscope technology from an old abandoned project regarding perfect balance for leg prosthetics to facilitate rehabilitation into the rear of the sole. Whilst the gyroscope may be small, it will keep you upright, even in the most bizarre of conditions. We checked and double checked and yes - it is possible to skate on one of the front wheels with the other leg hiked in the air without tipping over, though I highly doubt you'll find yourself in need of such a panache pose. At this juncture, all that was left was to provide a feature that allows wheel storage on the fly. There's a control beneath the large toe - you need only to hit it thrice and the wheels will stow. So, let's review:
One Press - Wheel Ejection Two Taps (of Fingers) - Glue Light Wall Three Presses (of Toe) - Wheel Storage
Besides the slightly amplified jump at the hydrophobic/heliophobic veneer to ward off accidentally gluing yourself - I added on last thing: momentum cancelling. Created back during the company's conception by yours truly as an intern, this will permit strolling up walls and along ceilings for a short window of time. This feature is still a tad rough, since I hadn't touched the project for years and it can be performed with the wheels out for increased acceleration whilst wall-running, but do be wear - not only is there no counteraction for the blood running to your spinal column, should you find yourself walking straight up (or to your head if you're standing on the ceiling), but it also runs on the same lithium-ion battery as the light wall. Both cannot be activated as once, so it's either or - and both are on the same twelve minute time limit, and I'd recommend abstaining from ceiling-striding for more than five minutes - just out of general concern for your wellbeing.
Also, I'm well aware of your affinity towards our business rival, Abstergo - so I had their logo sewn in with our logo directly above it. Top billing where it's due, right? I also had your name etched into the wheels during the vulcanization process - along with that wacked off face I keep seeing on you IDs. I swear, that thing is fit for a Jack o' Lantern.
I do hope it's to your liking...and I'd recommend keeping these items in a safe, secluded place - if I were you. Shipping began around this morning, so do tell me if it doesn't arrive by the 20th.
Sincerely, Tahajin Grandville Imagineering Lead @ TajLabs
P.S. I'm still attempting to ascertain the name of the person who helped us - perhaps you know! The name given was 'Mr. Smith' - an obvious identity shroud. I did see a spotted purple ear that looked lapine in origin slip from his bandana, however.