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Warning: Politically charged debate below. Don't read if you're close minded, a communist, or think that SOPA was a good idea you socialist pinko. Yeah, I'm looking at you Masterwolf. Also, the views expressed in here do not reflect the actual views of the people portrayed, as this is all meant to be in good fun.

ArcticWolf451: This is AW four five one, comin' at you live from Atlanta after just getting my broadcast license reinstated after a lengthy appeals process involving the Supreme Court and take out from Denny's, which I can tell you is not America's diner after several cases of food poisoning and shotgun diarrhea. Anyone who eats there is either cheap, or an un-American bigot who should be pelted with size sixteen women's shoes that no one ever buys because c'mon, women never get above a size ten. Ever. Let's welcome our guests.

*camera panels to *

Well she's cuter than a Care Bear made of sneezing pandas, it's SoFurry's one and only Senora Kitty ; artist and political commentator.

Senora: waves hi to camera

Camera panels to Wolf Trooper

AW : He's so rugged, sandpaper uses him to smooth wood, it's U.S. Army Captain Wolf Trooper.

*Camera panels to Aussie Scott *

And sitting here with us tonight, it's my repulsive sidekick AussieScott. News flash, thanks to him Thylacines have been taken off the endangered species list...and put on the public endangerment list.

Aussie: Booooooo.

AW: Moving on!

*camera panels to *

AW: If thoughtful commentary were an alarm clock, I'd tap him every morning while lying in bed, it's writer and commentator Dasher Cheetah.

Dasher: waves politely

AW: And his user base wanes, because his site is lame, it's our FurAffinity correspondent, good to see you again Neer.

dragon puppet whose voice is done by Scott Neer: FA users should check out the latest developer journal, where we respond to pleas and demands that FA should get a facelift in lieu of SoFurry's massive update. In it, we give valid reasons why they should donate to my wedding fund and just shut the hell up.

AW: Kinda spiteful don't yah think?

Neer: Eh, they're just a bunch of mindless peons, they'll get over it.

SK, DC : snickering

Neer: By the way, we're now censoring porn involving anything that could get us sued by Nintendo, Sega, or the U.S. Department of Justice, because what people don't realize is that when you cave to things like this, you get results. Period.

AW: Ha ha, ha...okay time to shut up.

Neer: YOU SHUT UP!

AW: grabs puppet and throws it across the studio, accidently nailing my producer in the head Oh, damn! Sorry Bill! straightens script Alright! So, for our first story...things are getting gory. And feathery, I might add. Yes, it seems PETA and ALF, an alien who used to be on TV in the 90's I hear, both condemn plans by the directors at LaGuardia international airport to take measures to reduce the population of wild birds around the airport to lower the chances of them getting sucked into a plane engine....again. Senora, I'll go to you first, is PETA just a bunch of communist bigots?

SK: Are you asking me, or telling me?

AW: Both.

SK: Right...well they certainly have their heads up their (censor silence), that's for sure.

AS: OH! And we're gonna have to cut that out in edit.

SK: Sorry, I don't know what we're not allowed to say?

AW: Don't worry about it, we have Rainbow Dash in the sound editing room.

SK: You got the lesbian chick from MLP?

AW: No, he's a disability hire/former drug dealer, he just prefers to go by his street name.

SK: I'm not even gonna ask...

AW: Wolf Trooper, I'll go to you next, is killing off loads of birds a good idea if it'll prevent a plane crash?

WT: You have to ask if preventing 9/11 from reoccurring on a daily basis is a good idea or not?

AW: Evidently...it's what I'm supposed to say in the script.

WT: laughs while face palming

SK: It's not just that, isn't their plan just to put out poison bird seed that knocks them into a coma or something? That seems more humane than them getting sucked into turbo jet engine on a 737.

AW: Good point, now...Dasher...you're dressed in an all-black leather outfit made from the skin of baby pandas, so you obviously have no problem killing off these birds.

Everyone but Dasher laughs

DC: First of all, the pants are denim, and the jacket is Italian leather...from COWS.

AS: Endangered cows.

DC: *points at AussieScott and goes http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/are-you-serious-rage-face.jpg * But no, as a cat and the world's fastest land based predator, I'm totally cool with killing off a few thousand pigeons if it means a frickin' Airbus won't land in Madison Square Garden when I'm trying to watch a Jeremy Lin kick ass and take names.

SK: Yeah, I mean the birds they plan to bump off aren't even all that important. Pigeons? C'mon on they got more of them in the city than actual New Yorkers, you won't miss the ones hanging around the airport defecating on everyone's cars.

AW: Now, Scott before we move on to the next segment I wanted to go to you real quick...you're even worse off than the pigeons because the airport's staff have been told to shoot you on sight whether you're in or around the airport. How's that work?

AS: Ugggghh, it's those damn body scanners. I go through one time, and my inverted kangaroo balls get mistaken for a couple of semtex grenades.

AW: You didn't explain to the TSA that thylacine's have inverted balls?

AS: They wouldn't let me! They just shot a taser dart in my neck and groped me for an hour.

AW: Sounds painful, but then again Senora practically pays for this kind of treatment at the airport, so who am I to judge?

SK: Hey! The TSA can go suck it for all I care.

AS: The worst part was that they didn't even buy me dinner after it was all said and done.

AW: You didn't get comped for the pain and suffering ensued?

AS: No, they just claimed to let me off with a warning and slapped me on the no fly list. On the plus side, now whenever someone asks me to give them a lift to the airport, I have a valid excuse on why I can't.

AW: Ah, something we all wish we had. Moving on, today President Obama once again affirmed his promise that he would buy a Chevy Volt in five years once he left office...assuming he doesn't get his ass handed to him in the upcoming election. Dasher, I'll go to you first this time...is this just another empty promise from our illustrious Kenyan born ruler?

DC: Wait, we're still debating whether or not he's from Kenya? Cause I can tell you he's not, you only see ears like that in Liberia. Common mistake, but being an African native myself, I should know.

AW: ....but you're white.

DC: And you're a racist.

AW: facepalms Senora...is Obama gonna make good on his promise or not?

SK: Oh, like the promise to reduce the federal deficit by fifty percent by the end of his first term...or legalizing gay marriage? Or ending the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq?

AW: To be fair, he did at least half of that one.

SK: True, true, but he ended the one that wasn't killing our guys on a daily basis in an unwinnable struggle on some mountainside, in a country with no natural resources or valid reason for existing. Seriously, what how many of the people in Afghanistan actually want to live there?

AW: Good point, now...Wolf Trooper, you've fought in Afghanistan, do you think the Chevy Volt will take it by storm?

WT: Considering that a Volt costs more than the average Afghani makes in a lifetime...no. Although I did here that the Taliban was looking to buy the ones that got recalled. Apparently they like the idea that we're marketing a 40,000 dollar car bomb to our own people now.

AW: Right, and even with the government rebate, they still cost over 30,000 dollars and have a good chance of exploding in your garage due to the battery either being defective...or some electrical hookups getting loose...I forget why, but these things ended up being worse for the environment than the H2 Hummer ever was. The fact is, they got recalled, and until GM fixes it these things aren't safe to drive.

WT: Indeed. And to answer the earlier question, I don't think Obama's gonna get one because once he's out of office he doesn't have to answer to us, and he figures he can drive whatever the hell he wants. Besides, we all know this is him trying to save face over the embarrassing fact that he toted the Volt as being the car of the future, and now it's quite literally blowing up in front of him.

DC: Not to mention the fact that it's not really an all-electric car, it can run on gas. The battery only gets you like forty miles on one charge, and then you have to switch over to the gas engine while it charges up. The thing is just a rehashed hybrid car, it's not the way of the future. We all saw how hybrids were a huge fad, and then they died off when people realized that the money you save at the gas pump was canceled out by the fact you paid an extra fifteen grand for the stupid thing. It's simple math, you will not see a dime in gas savings unless you manage to keep the car for over ten years, after which you will finally start saving maybe thirty to forty percent at the pump, but by that time your car's getting old and starting to have a crap ton of mechanical problems.

SK: That, and the Prius...oh my god it has no acceleration whatsoever. You put the pedal to the metal and it takes twelve seconds to get up to sixty miles per hour. It's ridiculous.

AW: That's just sad. Now...Scott, the government actually pays YOU to drive the Volt and make sure it works. How's that working out?

AS: I'm getting the feeling they want to kill me, since every single car I drove ended up going over a cliff in flames with me narrowly escaping with a well-timed tuck and roll at the end.

AW: Well you did vote for McCain, so that could be it.

AS: I couldn't even vote in '08, so maybe they're just looking for payback after I gave Joe Biden that tapeworm.

SK: gags Oh god...

AW: Moooooving right along, still more to come, but first! A word from our latest sponsors.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgGa-mTs06w

AW: So, last week syndicated radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh caught some serious heat after calling college coed Sandra Fluke a slut. Fluke, a law student at Georgetown University, responded in turn by calling Limbaugh a misogynist and called for the public to encourage Rush's sponsors to pull their adds. Now, ordinarily I'd be completely okay with this...but let's put it in its proper context. Why did Limbaugh call Fluke a slut? Because she went before Congress a few days earlier and lobbied for the Obama healthcare mandate that says employers must provide contraceptive coverage in their insurance plans, regardless of how it affects their religious beliefs or moral values. Wolf Trooper, is Limbaugh being too harsh, or is he spot on?

WT: Hmm, well lets see...Fluke claimed contraception can cost a woman up to three grand a year, which in her words was the equivalent of an entire summer salary, to which Rush responds, "How much sex is she having where her contraceptive costs are $3000?" He makes a valid point, I mean condoms aren't that expensive, especially if you buy the value packs. And pills? No way you're blowing more than fifty bucks a month for those. So whatever contraception she's using, it's (censor silence)in' expensive and she wants me to spend my hard earned tax dollars so she can screw whoever the hell she wants.

AW: Mmmhmm, Dasher, your thoughts?

DC: They're both scumbags and I hope they catch some of Scott's tapeworms.

AW: Whoa! Harsh.

DC: First of all, Rush is totally in the wrong here, he should know by now you can't just insult women. Besides, he was saying that if we're gonna pay for her contraception she has to tape herself having sex so we can get some free porn? I mean I'm all for free porn, but this was just disgusting.

AW: nods What about the fact that our tax dollars are going to pay for it?

DC: That's another thing I disagree with. Her claim is that contraception is a "medical need." Umm, I'm sorry, if you don't make your man put on a Trojan, will you die? No, of course not. It's not a medical need, it's a luxury. People banged for thousands of years without condoms and everything was alright, it's just that sometimes you'd get some unexpected kids. But that's alright, kids are awesome, and we're not having enough of them if you ask me. Look at Europe, they're all dying off over there because they're not having enough kids. They're screwing each other like it's no tomorrow, and there won't be if we don't have any more got dang kids!

AW: Excellent points all around. Senora, you're a woman...is Sandra really a slut?

SK: Does the pope take holy sh(censor)ts? Of course she is! I mean I'm with Dasher, Limbaugh was a total douche to her, but come on! How many abortions are you having a year that it costs you three thousand dollars? If you're paying that much money to scramble your unborn kid's brains after a night of drunken debauchery, you might want to take a step back and ask yourself if a lawyer is really the right career path for you.

WT: Ha, yeah. Have you seen her picture? She's not half bad looking, all she needs is a little more blush and mascara, and maybe a mini skirt and she could be working the streets in no time.

AW: Alright Trooper, that's a little out of line...although I totally agree with it.

AS: holds finger to earpiece Annnnnnd my producer is shouting at me that we as the show's hosts have to remain objective and not call her a slut either, or else Fox is gonna hand us our pink slips. Again.

AW: Fiiiiiiine. Senora, last word to you, is it okay to make a Catholic university pay for her to basically break every rule in their doctrine regarding marriage and sexuality?

SK: As much as the Catholic church annoys me, I gotta side with them on this one. It's a free country, and if they don't want to have to pay for her to be a whore, they shouldn't have to. She's got the freedom to go to a secular law school that's willing to comp her three grand a year to have all the guilt free sex she wants.

AS: Not to mention the fact that they're already showing her a lot of leniency by not just throwing her out. I mean remember that kid from that Mormon school in Colorado who got thrown off the basketball team for having sex before he was married? That was just harsh. Here, she's banging every one of her fellow grad students and even going before congress on national TV and the college ain't doing a damn thing! She doesn't realize how good she's got it, and she should just shut the hell up and only bang like twice a week like the rest of the country.

AW: Alright, and with that we are out of time. Let's thank our guests again, Dasher Cheetah, always a pleasure, Wolf Trooper thanks for being here, Aussie Scott, you suck, and Senora Kitty, always a delight. I'm ArcticWolf451, and we'll see you next time.