Weasel Run

Story by KitFox on SoFurry

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THIS STORY CONTAINS FIRST RUN UNIVERSE SPOILERS. Worse... It contains spoilers from the book AFTER First Run. But it's a quickie little micro-fan-fiction*. :)

(* Not written by genuine micro-fans. Sorry.)

( Even more sorry when the "fan" writing it is the main author.)

( Oh, and did we mention that the premise comes from three pages of an online comic****, which makes it the author writing a Fanfic of parts of his own world that his own fans have not seen yet, Fanficcing a plot premise a comic he is a fan of... Your head may just explode.)

(**** The three pages are actually extremely weaselly, fan-service, killer-filler-bunny in the comic.*****)

(***** The above subnote also contains two directly-evil puns due to the nature of what they reference.)


Weasel Run

Fanfic at its Finest

Updated February 26th, 2012


Wolf soldiers walking amidst the human population, terrorist bombings by crazy animal people, public curfews and lock-downs... Jake didn't need anything else to annoy him lately. Sure, he was lucky the place he volunteered at in his spare time wasn't blown up while he was in it, but he couldn't do much about that.

He used to not have a care in the world. At 23, he lived very comfortably off the dividends from his invested inheritance, volunteered just for fun, but otherwise didn't take part int he 9-to-5 grind the rest of the world seemed so interested in. He could sleep in when he wanted to, drive halfway across the state on a whim, or fly overseas just because it took his fancy. He didn't care if he slept in a five-star hotel or in a hole under a tree in the rain. Any way things happened, it was all just a fun bit of geeking out to him.

It was hard to get Jake riled up. He didn't like drama. But the panicked kid clinging to his leg was getting close.

"Mister, you can't go in the park on Sundays! The Weasel Queen will get you!"

The scruffy boy looked upset about even being this close to the park. Sure enough, a few more steps dragging the kid along and the child squeaked and ran off, leaving him be.

Jake looked around. Well, okay... The park was pretty much dead-empty. No ducks on the lakes. No dog owners breaking leash laws. No picnicking couples or softball games going on. Despite the fact that it looked perfectly-well-kept, safe, and cozy, it was a ghost town. Ghost park maybe. Apparently only on Sundays.

Well, this was perfect, really. He could get a nap in the sun, undisturbed, while the bleach smell at his house from spring cleaning aired out. An empty park was not a good target for terrorists either, and nobody at all to bother him. Drama-free, finally!

He walked down the path into one of the wooded areas to get out of the sun. As he crossed a small footbridge, the corner of his mouth curled upwards a fraction. He reminisced on his time standing on a similar bridge with his girlfriend, hand in hand as they peered at the stream below. Lovers in love, ah amore...

God, but she was a fucking moron.

The tiny bit of a smile turned to a snarl now and he sighed. It was tough to find an intelligent woman these days. The one he visited the bridge with lasted under two days before he couldn't stand her drivel. Sure, sex was a good thing, and he missed it tremendously, but sheesh!

He looked around and soon found an appropriate spot of sunlight west of a comfortable bank by a tree. A glance up at the hole in the tree canopy and some quick mental calculations told him the sun would reach the intended location in about an hour. Perfect! That would be an excellent nap. Just lie down, sleep, and in a little over an hour, the sun on his face would wake him up.

He briefly examined the nook in question for evidence of hostile indigenous life. Especially spiders. Soon satisfied, he flopped onto his back, arched his arms behind his head, and closed his eyes. Cool breeze, quiet park, and no drama made this perfect. He'd be asleep in minutes.

The tiny sting at his neck turned those minutes into seconds.


"...turning on soon... Damn it, did I use too much?"

Jake woke to complete darkness with a throbbing headache. A quick self-evaluation told him his hands were bound behind him and his ankles were tied together uncomfortably tightly. He was on his side, but nothing was over his face or eyes. It was just dark. He vaguely thought he may have just heard a worried, female voice, but he couldn't be completely certain.

Wherever he was, it was mildly stinky. Wait... No... He sniffed hard to clear his nose. HOO! That was a mistake. Storm sewer. Hmm. And something very musky-smelling.

"Ahh! You're awake!" It was a female voice. But it didn't sound worried. Instead, it sounded almost overdone in evil. Like, cheesy overdone. He waited, but the silence became a bit awkward. He heard movement, like somebody fidgeting.

He sighed mentally. Whoever it was was waiting for him. Considering that they were already guilty of assault and kidnapping, or possibly worse, but sounded so... inept... he probably should play along. "What am I doing here? Why am I tied up?" He tried to not sound too put off by the situation.

The person relaxed a little. Yeah, she had been waiting for him. "You are my meals for the week," she snarled. "I will drain your blood for my drink, and your flesh and bone will feed me until they run out. Then I shall find new sustenance!"

Um, what? "Are you serious?" Jake wasn't sure what to think now.

He blinked as suddenly a light came on after a few seconds of silence. His eyes watered a little as he looked up to see what looked like a humanoid weasel. Damn good costume but... Wait... Her eyes... her mouth... That wasn't a costume. Maybe the Weasel Queen wasn't just stupid drama after all.

She screwed up her face into a snarl that looked almost comical, but he was sure that most folks would be pissing themselves right now given the odd contraption in her hand that she was brandishing threateningly. Jake of course recognized it as an unholy amalgamation of forceps clamped together. The poor things looked so bent they were unlikely to even be usable.

"Of course I'm serious, you fool! I am The Weasel Queen! I consume what I like!" She jabbed the forceps at him and hissed.

While he really should have been afraid for his life, since she was likely one of those animal terrorists, he couldn't help himself. His eyes watered and he started laughing softly. "You're threatening me with bent forceps and you're really not a good actress, hon. If you're going to kill me or do something terrorist to me, then do it, but you can drop the act. Though it would probably be good for most people."

Her face went blank and her ears went back, then she shook her head. "No, damnit! You need to be mad at me! You need to call me a stupid animal and cuss at me and threaten me about what you'll do when you get free!"

"Why? Are we rehearsing for an act?"

She shook her head again and dropped the tangle of metal, her hands going to her face as she started crying. "NO you idiot! If I don't get mad at you, I can't stop thinking and start hating you! If you act nice or innocent, I won't be able to kill you and then I'll starve!"

Jake gave her a withering look - the kind usually reserved for insane people - before his eyes lighted in the corner of the room. The blood drained from his face. Skulls, piled in the corner. Human skulls. He noticed the needles, and the long-dried blood on the old surgical gloves she wore. There was a cooler against the wall, hard-wired to a cut power line, and a good bit of blood on that also.

"You're... you're actually serious?" he asked softly.

"YES!" she shouted at him, swiping at the air in his direction and crying harder. "Why'd you have to go and do that?! I can't let you go or you'll tell people about me, but I don't have any more food and I'll starve!" She sunk to the ground, sobbing. "I don't want to die!"

A spark crossed his synapses and actually hurt. "If those skulls are real, what about all those people you killed?!"

She wailed loudly and fell over onto her side. "NO!! Don't make me think of it! God, I don't want to think about it! I didn't want to, but it's the only way I can eat... Oh god, what have I done? Why'd you have to ruin it all?" She reached over to him and beat weakly on his arm. "I don't want to be a monster. Everything was fine until that damned chamber! I'm going to starve. I'm going to die... I... I guess..." She looked up at the skulls. "I guess I deserve it, even if they were all gangsters and muggers, they were people."

Jake boggled at the entire situation. What on earth was going on here? He watched her closely, but she didn't move. She just laid there, eyes closed, sniffling softly. She wasn't waiting for him to speak. She wasn't even paying attention to him.

"Ummm...?" he finally said.

"What?! I'm doomed because of you. What do you want?" she growled.

"Could you... untie me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"If I untie you, you'll go tell people how to find me. They'll start shooting at me, and then I'll get mad. Then I'd end up killing some of them, even if they killed me. I mean, seriously, no matter what you try to tell anybody, they'll underestimate me." She shook her head and buried her face in her arm, her tail whapping several times against the ground. "I don't want to kill anybody else. If you stay here, you and I will be the only ones who die, and that will be for the best."

She choked. "I'm sorry. Your death will save the lives of others."

He shook his head, trying to clear it. This was insane.

She lifted her head, ears perking. "Wait... Maybe if I hide you somewhere, then I can go find another person to eat? If I don't see you die, I won't feel bad about it, just like when I kill them in rage!"

Jake frowned. "But you'll know I died, and you won't ever be able to ignore that." It was a stretch, but it looked like his life might actually be in serious danger.

Her ears wilted and she dropped her face back against her arm. "You're right. There's nothing I can do." She curled up in pain as her stomach growled loudly. "I'll probably starve before you do..." she said softly. "Maybe you can get away when I'm dead," she whispered.

His head was starting to hurt from the situation, but he realized he had to take this deadly seriously. "What happened?" he asked quietly, trying to sound genuinely concerned.

She lifted her head from her arm, staring at him blankly for a moment. She was obviously weighing what to say. Then she sighed. "That's a long story, but I guess it's not like we're going anywhere."

She picked herself up off the ground and took off the gloves, throwing them to the side. He blinked at the shape of her legs as she sat on her haunches. Now that he could see her better, he realized her form was not one a human could fit in. Even the skeletal structure was all wrong.

She paused, looked at him lying on his side, and stood up. He rolled to follow her movements as she stood over him, then cringed slightly as she reached down for him. Then he yelped as she picked him up like he weighed nothing.

She carried him to the nearby wall and then through a door. It was hard to tell, since he was slung over her shoulder like he was a sack of potatoes, so he could only see where they had been and her pert buttocks. Soon she stopped and carefully set him down, sitting on a pile of clothing and leaning against the wall behind him. She took a moment to turn on a light there before dropping to her haunches in front of him again.

Now that he was upright, he could see her better. Small breasts, maybe A cups at most, and a body that was far too long for her legs. Her fur was a bit of a mess, but seemed at least a little bit maintained for being in a storm drain sewer. She was definitely an animal, like the wolf soldiers, but unlike them, she was stark naked, covered only by her brown and white fur. More so, he could see the gauntness of her face. She wasn't joking about starving.

"They asked for a volunteer," she muttered. "They didn't let me not volunteer though. 'Escorted' into the chamber. Just like when they were making wolf soldiers, which I helped with a lot. I had no idea why they wanted to make me a wolf soldier."

She paused and shook her head. "Or maybe I did have an inkling. I saw normal people go in, and when the wolf soldier came out, they did something. Then the soldier would collapse and they'd take it away until it woke up in about an hour or two. Then they never questioned orders. Never." Her ears wilted. "Maybe I asked too many questions. Maybe I poked around too much. But I was a scientist, and a doctor. I had to know what was going on."

Jake watched her closely. She seemed genuine in what she said.

"So yes. They put me in the chamber. I passed out, and woke up to hear them arguing outside. Another fucking failure, they said, all because of that damned skunk. Kill the weasel, they said. And don't fuck it up this time, they said." She patted her body. "I saw enough of myself to know they were talking about me."

She shrunk a little as she sat there. "Obviously they screwed something up. Or I did. I didn't know. But I knew they wanted to kill me. It made me angry. And when the door opened, I attacked them. They tried to wrestle me, but I'm so much stronger, and faster. More than even the wolves. I'm pretty sure I killed a lot of them."

Jake blinked a few times as she paused in speaking. She was made by the same people that made the wolf soldiers? But... The wolves were volunteers who were transformed at the center to protect the nation. Everybody trusted them, and they were so good at what they did. They saved so many after bombings and terrorist attacks. They carried people out, tended to the injured, and took care of things. Why would the same people who made the wolves make this?

"I vaguely remember that I found the skunk when I was escaping. I broke her out. I didn't want to leave somebody else there locked up. They might kill her too. I told her a little about what happened as we were running. Then we were outside. They had guns. We split up." She shook her head. "They ran after her and shot at me. I don't know what happened to her. I don't know how I survived. I woke up in the storm drains."

She looked back at the door they had come through. It was a small maintenance area here. "I had to get food, but I didn't want to be caught. So I tried to ask a hobo for help." She cringed. "He freaked out. He shouted at me, tried to attack me, accusing me of being a damned animal and probably a terrorist."

She shook her head softly. "I came back to my senses over his dead body. I was fed, he wasn't all there. It was... horrible... but better than starving."

Jake saw the tears in her eyes. She wiped one away and continued. "I stole what I could, unnoticed, but I really couldn't get to food to steal. Even trying to get trash would be dangerous. Park animals only go so far. So I spread rumors. Little notes dropped in the park. Stuff like that. The Weasel Queen. Smart people stayed away. With the attacks, they had no reason to disbelieve the idea. Criminals thought the days the park was empty was a great way to be alone with their earnings and not be caught. Gang members used the park as initiation."

Her cheeks were soaked with the tears now, the fur matted against her skin. "I used drugs, like I used on you. I made a good, dramatic situation. They'd fear me, and hate me, and then I'd blank out... when I was aware of myself again, they were just food. That's how I had to think of it. Lord help me, that's how I had to think of it."

Jake jumped as she broke down sobbing onto his lap. He thought about the situation. Then it dawned on him. "Christina?"

She jerked back at the name. "How?! Who...?"

"Doctor Fallers, right?"

"I... How do you...?"

He shook his head softly. "You don't know me, I don't think. You used to read in the little corner park near my house. The books were interesting, so..." He looked embarrassed. "I tailed you a bit on occasion. Saw when you played chess in the park. I think you could beat me at that, by the way."

She hung her head. "Yes... yes... that's me. Was me at least. Now I'm a starving weasel who has to die, so not too many more people do."

"I'm sorry that this happened to you," Jake said. "You don't have to keep me here though. I could... I could get you food. Meat." He didn't want to admit that he had been absolutely smitten by her. She was a beautiful woman, and smart, to boot. Not that he ever got up the courage to actually approach her.

She shook her head. "Maybe. Or maybe you'd go running to the police. Then more people would die before I did. I can't allow that. You and I need to be the last ones to die by my hand." She curled up with her back to him, dismissing him.

He thought furiously through the silence. As time ticked on, he realized she was going to leave both of them there to die. Finally he cleared his throat, causing her ear to twitch. "At least you didn't cal yourself Ferretina," he said conversationally, hoping to think of something before she gave up and just died in general.

She rolled over. Wow, that was weird, because she didn't change her curled angle. Did she even have a spine? "That would have been way too cliche," she said. "Plus, people still read that comic. Nobody would take it seriously if I went that far."

Jake sat, open-mouthed. "You... You mean you actually -did- steal that idea from the comic?"

She nodded. "Of course. Loved that comic. I mean, sure, I don't have killed bunnies, but that would be going too far too." Her ear twitched again. "Though with the skunk girl, and then me, I wouldn't be too shocked if they did make killer bunnies."

He shook his head. "Shit, next you're gonna tell me you play MMORPGs or something."

"I pay for them yearly. I play three. Heck, I was even in a raiding guild."

"Which one?"

"Quantity."

"Wait... Quantity??? On Dark Sunset?!"

"Yep."

"Holy fuck! I'm in that guild! You're Greenhorse, aren't you? We were so worried when you vanished!"

Her eyes were wide and her ears perked. "You're in my GUILD!?" she squeaked.

He took a deep breath. "I'm Nirtiak. Damn, we never knew..."

"Nirtiak! Oh damn, nice to finally... um... meet you..." She realized she was holding her hand out to him and tucked it behind herself, embarrassed.

Jake shook his head. "This is insane though. I know you! You know me! Well, kind of... We don't need to die here."

Her ears laid back to the side. "You know I'm me, but anybody else will think I'm an animal terrorist. They'd had that on the news for so long, there's no way anybody will not freak out if they see me. I... I don't want to kill anybody else."

She thought for a moment, then suddenly scampered out the door on all fours. This ability startled Jake quite well. She came back with a knife, and he winced away.

"I'm gonna let you go. You know who I am. You know I'm not evil. I trust that you won't tell anybody." She cut the bindings off his ankles and wrists.

Jake rubbed the feeling back into his wrists, not sure what to say. She rested her face against his shoulder and he slipped an arm around her carefully, trying to comfort her. He could feel her ribs. She was truly starving.

"I didn't want to die. I still don't. But I accept my death now," she murmured. He felt the wet against his shoulder. "You go. Be safe. Tell the guild I moved to Spain or something. I dunno. Don't let them worry about me though. I'll stay here and starve. If I start to worry, I'll look at the skulls. Then I'll be gone, and the park will be safe."

He shook his head. "Do you just snap and kill people? Or if you get really angry?"

She was silent for a moment. "No, really only if they attack me. If they threaten me badly. It's like I'm programmed to kill people who want to kill me."

Jake looked at all the clothing piled in here. It was her nest, but it was made from all the clothing of her victims. She had killed dozens, but he believed her story. Now, he wanted to help her.

Soon he spotted things that were useful. He stood up and pulled her up as well, startling her. He snagged the items from the pile and threw them over her, getting her bundled up thicker than a hobo on a cold winter's night. She was confused enough that she let him.

"What are you doing?" she finally demanded as he pulled her out of the room.

"I need you to show me the way out," he said slyly. "But if anybody sees you, you'd end up having to kill them. This way, you can show me the way out and still get back here safely."

She nodded. "To die, as I should. It makes sense."

She took him by the hand and led him through the storm drain system, soon emerging into the early dawn park. Several joggers were already out, since of course the Weasel Queen was only around on Sundays. But he didn't let her hand go. He pulled her out with him and started walking, escorting her with an arm around her thickly-covered waist.

"What are you doing?!" she hissed, nearly ready to panic.

"I'm not attacking you," he murmured. "But if you try to leave me, I will. And then you'd kill me. And everybody would see that. Then they'd attack you. And you'd kill them. It would be a big mess. So you should just come with me."

"But..."

"No buts. Don't argue."

She was silent as he led her. Her bundled form drew the occasional odd look, but it was easy enough to assume Jake was escorting an eccentric grandmother. His arm around her waist help assuage concerns that people might have. Soon they were on his street, and then turning into his yard.

"Where are...?"

"My home," he said, interrupting her softly. She balked a little, but he insisted, and finally she went with him.

As soon as they were inside, she spun on him. "What do you think you're doing?! Are you mad?"

He smiled and began to carefully strip the clothing off her. She didn't notice at all, despite the fact that he stripped her back down to her former fur-covered self. "No, I'm not mad. I wasn't going to leave you there to die. I hate that this feels like I'm kidnapping you, but really, my house will be safe for you."

"But..."

"That's what your tail is attached to, however you still smell like a sewer. Come on." He took her by the hand and led her to the bathroom. He didn't really know what had come over him himself, but this was exciting.

Soon he had the shower running and hot and pointed at it. "Go on."

"But..."

"Tail end, like I said. Fine."

He stripped as she simply stared, then stepped into the shower himself and took her hands, tugging her in after him.

"But...!"

"Yours is cute. I admired it when you were human. It's lower now, but still cute." He backed into the water, then snagged her hands again and pulled her into the stream of water against him.

She sputtered, though she didn't seem toooo extremely upset.

"You're incorrigible!" she grumped.

"Awesome word! Much better than talking about your rear all the time." His hands were quickly full of shampoo and he was busily lathering up her whole body.

"I was not! I was trying to interject!"

He finally started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"This is just like on the guild chat."

She made a face. "You know... It is."

He didn't know if it was because she was so out of her element or what, but she didn't bat a thought at him washing every single part of her. He did end up blushing a little himself when he realized what he was doing. It was a strange union in his mind. He was used to washing animals, since he had volunteered at a shelter before and clean dogs and cats were much easier to adopt out. Only when he realized that she was standing upright and gave a little whimpering moan when he was washing certain parts did he get to the point where his mind said "Okay, now you're getting frisky."

He finished in quick enough order though, piled her up in as many towels as he could, then went to the freezer to start unloading meat into the fridge so it could thaw. "Ummm... Do you want to eat raw?"

She shook her head. "I can, but I only did because I had no way to cook it." A quick sort through the cabinets and he had a steak in the frying pan, which obviously had her attention. He stomach rumbled loudly and she looked down at it. "I'll take it really rare though..."

He nodded and smiled. "It'll get food into you sooner. I don't want you hurting."

He had the steak out onto a plate and a fork and knife in her hands in a heartbeat. She was almost in shock at the situation, but quickly recovered and dug into it. He watched her eat. It would take a bit to get her back to health, but he was happy now. This was better than any volunteering he had ever done. He wasn't just helping a person, he was helping somebody who was a close friend, albeit online only in the past. He was helping keep her alive and safe from real, deadly danger.

And really, she was still the same person inside. Still a little flirty, still smart. So what if she'd kill somebody who tried to punch her? Also so what if she had a fur coat? Now that it was dry, it was super-soft. He'd hit that. Just... not in a way that would get him killed. But anyway.

He was cooking a fourth steak and she was eating the third, finally able to take her time a little, when suddenly she paused. If she could have turned pale through the fur, he thought she would have.

"Oh, shit... The blood..." she muttered.

He blinked over his shoulder at her. "You've got good food now though, you shouldn't need to eat blood, should you?"

"No, no... I didn't eat it. I've been having to give myself transfusions."

He stopped dead in his tracks and took the frying pan off the stove, turning to peer at her. "Giving yourself transfusions of blood from just a whole bunch of random people?! Shit, you should be dead by now from reaction!"

She shook her head. "Even the wolves can get a blood transfusion from anything. If it has red blood, their body can use it safely. They can't get diseases, infections, anything. Makes them great soldiers. I'm stronger than them, faster than them... so I tried it, and it worked. No problems at all." She sighed. "But I can't go asking you to get me blood. Well, maybe pig's blood or something...? Oh, I don't know what to do!"

Jake tried to gather his thoughts from this new bit of shock. "Wait, wait... Let's look at this logically. WHY do you have to give yourself transfusions? Some kind of way to force you to need them and thus keep you under control?"

She shook her head. "Um... Nonono... It's kind of a medical condition. It makes me severely anemic over time and won't stop."

He considered. "I'm no doctor, but if there's anything I can do to help, I will."

She shook her head. "The only way to stop it permanently would be a hysterectomy."

"Wait... what?"

"I'd have to be spayed."

"I know what it means! But why?"

"I'm a weasel. I go into heat, and I don't go out of it until I'm pregnant or die from the anemia it causes after time. At least I can give myself blood to overcome the anemia, but no surgeon would operate on me and I'm not going to try to do it to myself."

"That... really doesn't sound good. Anyway, are... whatever kind of weasel you are...and humans, even compatible genetically? Plus I don't think having kids... pups?... whatever... is a good idea for you."

She sighed. "We're not. Trust me, against what should have been my better judgement, I did try with several guys before the lights came on. The only thing I got was about a day or two of relief from the chemicals tricking my body into thinking it could work."

"Chemicals?"

"In their semen. Hormones, proteins, that sort of stuff."

He was silent for a moment. "How often did you need transfusions?"

"I was bleeding out my victims, storing the blood, and using it over the course of the week, every day. The anemia is pretty severe." She watched him as he was silent, and sunk down in her chair a little.

When it became obvious that he was thinking too hard and long, she slunk out of the chair and sidled up beside him, slipping an arm around his waist. "I guess... if you're willing... I could just get some chemical injections every day or two instead. It would be mandatory for my health though, or I could die."

He paused in his thinking, glancing down at her. "Chemical... injections?"

She smiled coyly at him and slinked a furred paw into his pants to give a better idea of what she meant.

He blinked. "OH! ... ... Ooooh..."

She stretched up and licked his cheek. "I haven't had a transfusion in a while either. My food appetite is sated... but now I think you can help with my other medical needs."

"But...!"

She goosed him, interrupting him and making him jump. "Yes, yours is very nice too. Come on... I'll show you how flexible I found out I am..."

"Oh my..."


A few hours later, he was deep in thought, but generally satisfied with the day. Drama? Sure. But it was HIS drama. He had a smart girlfriend, even if she was slightly more of a shampoo user than any other would be. If this whole wolf soldier and terrorist mess ever got cleared up, they'd be in much better shape. But for now, life was good again.

She moved slightly in his hold, snuggled in his arm and sleeping. He smiled as she made a cute little churring noise and worked to keep from crying out as she stuck her cold nose against his armpit.

Then a thought hit him like a Kathterran warship alpha strike. "This is a tale that likely can't ever be told," he muttered to himself quietly. "No sane writer would pen it."


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