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Benji told us we were free to spend the night, but both Deacon and I knew we'd been in his hair for too long. We were on a break from school, but we were pretty sure that he had to go to work the next day. The goodbye wasn't as sorrowful as I would have anticipated, though. We all exchanged phone numbers, and he invited the both of us over the following weekend for a Christmas party.

"After all of this I don't plan on letting you go for long," he said while plugging his number into Deacon's phone, "This all happened for a reason. I feel like your Godfather now, so I plan on sticking around, mmkay? To keep an eye on you two."

He hugged us and begged for us to drive carefully, then we headed for Deacon's Scion that was parked behind Benji's car. I was admiring the black Genesis coupe when a familiar shriek graced my ears from above.

"Hey!" Lani barked. She was leaning halfway out of her window again and wiping her drowsy eyes, "You guys coming to the Christmas thing?"

"Yep," I said tilting my head upward.

She grinned, and we laughed as she made a fierce fist-pump, "Great! It'll be fun, and you'll love it."

She waved and yanked herself back inside while Benji did the same from the front door, and we hopped into the car. Soon we were on our way back home.

We were both so tired it was almost frustrating. I wanted to talk. I felt like we should be, but the subtle ambiance of low radio music and the tires humming over the highway was all there was for a while. The quite worried me, and made me feel like leaving Benji's had set that nail-biting stage of awkwardness into motion.

"What's the matter?"

I gave a start and peeled my forehead off of my window; the chill of it lingered in a round patch against my fur.

"Wha?" I blurted.

Deacon pointed to the floorboard where the tip of my tail was twitching back and forth, "That's never a good sign."

I stared daggers at my fluffed appendage; it never ceased to betray my emotions.

"It's nothing. I just feel like I should be talking to you."

He huffed a chuckle, "We're tired, bo. Silence is just a precursor to sleep, it's nothing to worry about."

"I know, but still."

My body leaned to the left as his foot popped against the clutch, and he gunned the engine to turn right onto the ramp for the interstate. One hand gripped the wheel, and the other smoothly yanked the gear-shift through it's cycle. His ears flipped back and forth as he threw quick looks over his shoulder, his face outlined by the white-light of headlights from traffic.

Once the car was riding comfortably in the middle lane he tossed me a grin, "Well, what do you want to talk about? We've got a while before we get back."

I turned my body in the seat so I was facing him, grunting as I tried to get comfortable, "I dunno."

He rolled his eyes, "Okay. Well, I've got something."

"Okay," I said, smiling as he drummed his fingers across the steering-wheel.

"Do you wanna, I dunno, stay with me? Tonight?"

My smile grew. He was so unbelievably adorable when he was flustered.

"The guys are all gone; they went home for the break, so I've got the apartment to myself."

I cocked an eyebrow, and attempted to look critical and wily at the same time, "And you want some...company, huh?"

That made him blush, and he flashed a bashful grin, "Yeah, you could say that. If you want to stay that is."

"Well, duh," I blurted before he finished his sentence. He stared at me. I guess he was surprised. "Sorry," I mumbled, ashamed of my now even-more obvious want for him.

He just laughed, "Don't be. I'm happy you want to. I didn't know what I would have done if you'd said no."

"Why would I have said no?"

His thick shoulders bounced, "Well, we did just get together, like, a couple of hours ago. I thought you'd think asking you to stay with me so soon was a bit...fast?"

Oh how wrong he was. I couldn't have been more overjoyed that he'd asked. I got where he was coming from, though.

I laid my head against the car seat, "I agree it could seem fast, but only in certain...circumstances."

His brow furrowed, and his ears laid back. He stared ahead, then his eyes popped as he realized what I'd meant.

"Oh! No, no, no," He babbled, his head almost a blur as he shook it, "That would be more than fast! That would be..."

"Dumb?"

"Profoundly so."

"Ouch."

He eyed me ruefully, "You know what I meant. I want to share that with you eventually, but..."

I giggled, "Not quite that far along are we?"

"No," he agreed.

I thought of something and my ears fell back out of embarrassment. I couldn't help but chuckle, and he heard.

"What?"

Still laughing, I shook my head, "Nothing. Seriously."

"No, tell me."

I sighed, "I just thought how funny...err...weird it would look if..." I sniggered again.

"What? If what?"

"If you liked bottoming and I had to top."

This time his fur seemed to turn scarlet.

"Sorry," I chuckled apologetically, "The thought came out of nowhere."

He sat silent for a while. I started to wish I hadn't said anything.

I looked over at him worriedly and saw tears bubbling up in the corners of his eyes. A knot tied itself into my guts, but quickly relaxed as I realized he was fighting to hold back some serious laughter.

"Wow, that does look weird," he snorted.

I slapped him across the shoulder as a smile whipped across my muzzle, "You're IMAGINING it!? You floozy!"

"You did before me, you tramp!"

We drove on laughing and yelling. The other furs in the cars around us probably thought we were going at each others throats, but it was all in good fun. It kept us awake, too

Forty-five minutes passed where we discussed nothing but what to get Benji and Lani for Christmas. That in-turn led to us discussing what gifts to get our families.

"My mom will be completely thrilled that I have a partner, so I think I can get away with getting her something small this year."

Deacon looked at me coolly, "That a big issue with her?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "She's terrified that I'll grow old all alone and miserable."

"Not if I can help it."

I grinned and pecked him on the cheek, "She'd love to meet you. You should come to my house for Christmas next year, or maybe I could go to yours?"

He'd grinned at me wanting to take him home to show off, but at the mention of him taking me? The smile quickly vanished.

He gripped the steering wheel tight, the leather popping in his paws,_"_I have another question."

I eyed him, "Okay."

He was suddenly very weighty with frustration, and a tired sigh caused him sink into his seat. "How did your mother react?" he asked.

I gazed at him, "To..."

His hands left the steering wheel and floundered in the air, "You know, to coming out?"

A soft smile played across my face as I recalled my mom's shocked expression. I'd came out to her when I was eighteen, and she hadn't suspected anything. So, when I told her we had to talk, her first thought was that I had gotten a girl pregnant like my step-brother Ronnie. He had enlightened us to his predicament a few months earlier. Her shock turned to delight once the words "I'm gay" left my mouth, and I was happy for that, but I was pretty sure she was also ecstatic because she wasn't about to be a grandma. Again.

Deacon watched me out of the sides of his eyes as I spoke, "She was...surprised, but she was okay with it. Happy even. The step-dad was too, and the rest of the family."

He seemed to regain some of his composure, "Cool."

I watched him this time, "Deacon?"

He looked quickly at me as he merged into another lane, "Hmm?"

"You haven't told anyone have you?"

He paused then looked down at the floorboard. His eyes lingered there for longer than I liked. I was relieved when he craned his head back up and watched the highway again, "No."

I wish I could have said I was surprised.

"I'm the only one who knows?" I asked, "Well, Benji and Lani, too..."

"You guys are the only ones."

Oh my.

"How long have you known?"

He started counting off of his fingers, then clutched the wheel again when he was satisfied, "Since I was fifteen?"

"Oh," I mumbled. That wasn't much later than when I figured it out about myself. Still though, "Why didn't you ever say anything before? If not to your family than to me? You knew I wouldn't judge you because of it, even if you didn't think I was gay too. Friends don't do that."

"Good friends don't do that," he stated, "Besides, and don't take this the wrong way, you didn't tell me either, remember?"

Ouch. That took me by surprise.

I tried not to take it the wrong way like he said, but my fur still bristled a little, "I was afraid. I didn't know how you would've reacted to a gay guy flat-out telling you that he liked you."

"Better than you would've guessed..."

"But I didn't know that."

He stayed quite. The tension that filled the car snuffed out the conversation like water doused on a flame. I kept watching him to see if I could pick out any emotions that might linger across his suddenly stoic expression, but he was a blank slate.

I felt really terrible at seeing him this way.

His big right paw left the steering wheel and settled atop the gear-shift. His fingers twitched over the knob, the tips of his claws striking a rappity-tap-tap-tap across the stiff plastic.

"I'm sorry, Deac," I finally said. My voice was disturbingly loud after the awkward silence.

He grinned, and I instantly relaxed.

"Me too," he sighed, "It's just...kind of frustrating."

"Well, it doesn't matter anymore. Better late then never..."

"Huh? Oh," his paw left the gear-shift and swiped back his red hair as he laughed, "Yeah, no kidding, and you have no idea how happy I am to be with you, but that wasn't what I meant."

"Oh, you mean..."

"Not being out to mom and pop," he said. His face became a void again, "I feel like a traitor, like I've been deceiving them for years."

I knew the feeling.

He turned to look as I laid my hand on his thick arm, the muscles springing under his fur as he would turn the steering every so often.

"Do you hide who you are around them?" I asked softly, "I mean, do you act differently with them than you do with our friends? Than you do with me?"

His eyes rolled about as he thought, and his muzzle twitched, little furrows appearing as the fur and skin would wrinkle upon it.

"No," he finally said. It came out almost whimsical.

"Then you haven't been deceiving them at all. You're the same person they've raised from a pup, but with one thing they don't know about you." I smiled, "Hey, and they may be wiser than you think."

His chest bounced, "If they have figured it out already that would be the biggest relief."

I shrugged, "You never know. My mom had her suspicions."

"Really?"

I nodded, "Mmhmm."

He shook his head, "Well, what if they did suspect it? I mean, what if they did and they weren't okay with it?"

Again, that was any homosexual furs worst nightmare. I looked at Deacon, his eyes wide and body tense with a deep anguish. I'd never met his family, but I could tell just by watching him that he wouldn't be able to take losing them. He'd obviously thought about how they may react, but apparently he couldn't imagine them being supportive of him. That worried me. It made me think of Benji, and how his parents had cut their ties with him once they found out he was gay.

"Is your family homophobic or anything?" I asked.

He shook his head, "No. Their pretty liberal. Well, my mother at least. My dad can be a real prick sometimes, but he's never said anything bad about gay people."

"Then what are you so afraid of?"

He scratched his chin and ruffled the fur, "I dunno. That I'm letting them down?" He sighed, "I just...I know they have their own ideas about how they want my life to turn out. Wife, kids - the typical thing. It's what they did; it's what my sister did, so I suppose they want me to have the same."

I found that I was shaking my head at him, and promptly stopped although I was still confused, "What makes you think you can't have any of that being who you are? I mean you won't have a wife, per se, and having children wouldn't be the same, but you could still fulfill that part of your life if you wanted."

"Yeah..."

"Why do you think you'd be letting them down anyway?"

He shrugged weakly, "It's just an inlaid fear, bo. I really don't know how to explain it. It's just there."

I didn't like that he was so afraid. He deserved to have whatever he wanted, and it wasn't fair for him to think he couldn't have it. No one else could stop him from getting to that point. No one else could take away the love of a happy relationship, and no one else could take away the prospect of raising a family. Only he himself could take that future away. His fear was holding him back.

"Sweetheart," I purred, "I know it scares you. I nearly passed out when I was telling my mom, but if you want to move on you need to get past this. Otherwise it'll keep you rooted where you are, and that isn't something you should be doing to yourself."

He kept staring ahead at the highway, but I knew he was listening because his right ear was turned toward me.

"You deserve to be happy, Deacon, and for us this is always the first hurdle to clear. What will happen I don't know, but if your parents love and care about you then you don't have anything to worry about. I know how deep the fear runs, but it always makes you think that things will turn out badly."

He swallowed hard.

"I'm sure they'll love you no matter what. You know it, too."

He sat silent and rigid for a while. His only movements were to turn the steering wheel or check the rear-view mirror, but I knew the cogs were turning in his mind. He had to come to terms with needing to tell his family, and I thought I'd helped to push him forward a little. I wanted him to be content.

I took to playing with the radio dial as he continued to drive and think. If he was anything like me than driving allowed him that simple peace that comes with doing something menial, and I didn't want to disturb him.

After fifteen minutes I'd flipped through numerous Pop and Rock stations, five Country, and that lone broadcast of rapid Spanish vocals when the radio cut off all of a sudden. I froze as I stared at the buttons and knobs, and wondered what I'd done to break the stereo. I looked to him worriedly as he coughed to get my attention. His finger was pressed to the steering-wheel where there were controls for the radio.

"Oh," I huffed in relief.

"Will you help me?"

I just stared at him dumbly and waited for him to elaborate.

He rolled his eyes, and a smile twitched across his muzzle, "Tell my folks? You know, when the time comes?"

I smiled and nodded, "Of course."

The car veered to the right as he leaned over and kissed me warmly on the lips, and I squealed in both delight and terror as he jerked back to his seat and wrangled the car back into our respective lane, a tendril of spit dangling between our mouths before stretching too thin and snapping.

"Eww," we both said grinning.

I wiped my mouth, "This calls for cheery celebration music!"

Deacon rolled his eyes and gawked as I found that Spanish station again. I bounced to the quick beat of the music, and shook my head to the melodious strums of the guitar, "Hell yeah!"

"Oh my God," he whined smiling.

We got to his apartment at around 3:30 in the morning. I'd fallen asleep after the initial Mariachi high wore off.

I guess when he pulled into his parking spot next to the curb he ran up on the sidewalk, and the car bouncing up then off made me crack my face against the window where I'd lain it again. Needless to say I was sort of awake after that.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry!" he sputtered as he turned off the car, his paws covering the end of his muzzle.

I rubbed my throbbing nose and felt the cartilage pop, "Owww..."

"Err," he said with an apologetic smile, "We're home?"

"Yaaaay," I moaned groggily.

The car rocked as he opened his door and slid out, and the interior lights caught me off guard and burned into my eyes. I was so loopy from exhaustion that I couldn't find the handle to open the door, and I resorted to just tapping on the glass with my eyes closed in the hopes that Deacon hadn't gone inside yet.

I heard the door handle pop then felt cool air rush in as he opened it.

"Problem?" he asked, his voice rising in pitch as he spoke.

"Sleepy..."

He laughed, "Come on, you helpless cub."

His paw wrapped around mine, and he tugged me gently toward him.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh," I groaned.

I'd forgotten to unhook my seat-belt, and he was more or less yanking my arm out of socket as I was still fastened inside the car.

"Lord, child!"

He chuckled as he dropped me back into my seat where I promptly went limp. The heat of his body loomed over me as he leaned in and pulled off the harness, and his scent filled my nostrils as his burly arms slipped behind my back and he lifted me to his chest. I felt like a child as he cradled me against him. The feeling was so comfortingly familiar, and I nuzzled into the fur of his neck as he held me tighter. I felt him hop as he closed the car door with a foot, and then I was out again. I didn't even remember being taken inside.

The jingle of keys fumbling woke me a little, and then the clap of a closing door. There was more warmth, and unfamiliar but soothing smells like the feint hint of cigarette smoke and spicy cologne. Even though my eyes were still closed I could sense the maleness of the apartment. I bet if I looked I'd see clothes laying about, and dishes left to soak in the sink.

His steps were light and graceful as he carried me. I felt ashamed of taking advantage of his courtesy, but I really didn't think I could complain.

"Colby?"

"Hmm..." I moaned, my head resting beneath his chin and the thumping of his heart lulling me toward sleep again.

I felt his neck go taut, then his chin dug into the top of my skull. He'd tried to look down at me.

"Sorry," he whispered.

"Owww..."

"Here, before I break you," he said with a tired chuckle.

His arms started to loosen from around me, and I reluctantly opened my eyes so I could stand as he sat me down. I liked it better in his arms.

"Now, you sure you wanna sleep together? If not then you can..."

"Is this your room?" I asked while rubbing my eyes.

"Yeah, but..."

"No buts," and I grabbed his paw then opened the door, pulling him along behind me.

His room was a little chilly, and I saw the curtains swaying inward so I guessed he had left the windows open. He noticed as well, and promptly whisked by me to close and lock them after switching on the lights. Luckily the bulbs were fluorescent so I wasn't blinded. As I peered around I was surprised by how clean it was, and by how large the room was itself. He had both a bed and a couch in there. I stared at the comfy looking sofa. Before I'd interrupted, I supposed what he was going to say in the hallway was that he'd sleep on the couch if I'd changed my mind about sleeping with him.

"Deacon?"

He turned to look at me. His large frame nearly blocked out the mirror of his dresser as he rifled through some drawers, "Yeah, bo?"

I slumped as I looked from the couch to the bed, then at him.

"Is it okay with you? Sleeping together?"

He grinned, and his tail started to wag, "Would I have asked you to stay if it wasn't?"

I shook my head, "I guess not."

I sat on the edge of the bed and practically sank into it. I whined pleasantly. It was the most comfortable thing I had ever had the pleasure of being on. It felt like the coziest goose-down pillow that could ever grace your head, but ten times bigger.

"Heaven," I muttered as I fell back onto it. It enveloped me in the most supple of embraces, and it smelled of Deacon so that, when I closed my eyes, it was easy to think he was holding me again.

I heard him laughing from the other side of the room, and drawers kept opening and closing. I was floating on the edge of consciousness when I felt warm hands slipping up my legs. They flowed against the curves of my body, and his warmth hovered over me again, the bed on either side of me dipping in as he held himself up.

"Comfy?" he asked.

Nodding I opened my eyes. The end of his black nose was almost touching mine, a soft smile tweaking upward at the corners of his mouth. I raised my head and touched my nose to his. It wasn't as physical as a normal kiss, but I think the Eskimos were quite wise to figure out how affectionate the act was. There was still electricity, too. It tingled down the bridge of my muzzle and made the backs of my eyes buzz.

His body was so close to mine. I went from staring into his emerald eyes to tracing down his silhouette, the light overhead casting him in a smoky shadow.

"I'm going to go and take a shower, okay? I'll be back."

There was no Eskimo to the kiss he gave me then. He went from Inuit to French with one slip of his tongue, then a hand slid down my stomach as he raised up and left the bed.

I touched my belly where he'd caressed me and fumbled over the buttons of my shirt. I'd forgotten about still being dressed up.

I propped myself up on my elbows, "Deacon?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled, his paw lingering on the doorknob.

"Do you mind if I borrow a shirt? I don't think these clothes were meant to be slept in."

He laughed, and pointed to his dresser, "Sure. They're in the top-left drawer. Just grab one."

"Thank you."

He opened the door, "I'll be back."

As it closed I fought to push myself up. I sat and unbuttoned my shirt, and looked around for my vest. It must have still been in the car. I kicked off my shoes then staggered over to the dresser. I pulled open the top-left drawer, and dug through the shirts that were folded and stacked inside until I hit the wooden bottom. I gasped. I found a clothing jewel.

"Oh. My. God," I gawked, "Why does he have this!?"

It was a blinding neon-blue shirt with banding slits cut along the sleeves and body, and it reminded me of something Madonna would have worn back in the eighties. I held it up in the mirror and giggled, completely lost as to why big, masculine Deacon owned such a flamboyant article of clothing. Well, it was more of a rag than anything, but it would still cover enough to be worn in public.

"Fun, fun, fun," I chirped as I stripped off my dress-shirt and pants, "This'll be fuuuuun!"

For a shirt with so many tears it was easy to get on. It fit relatively well, too. I looked at myself in the mirror of the dresser, and noticed how the neon hugged my features. I couldn't help but also notice that it wasn't big enough to be Deacon's. Unless, that is, he'd gotten as big as he was by transforming like the Hulk, and this shirt was what skinny him had been wearing before. I shrugged. He said he had a sister. Maybe it had been hers. I made a mental note to ask later.

I laughed as I looked myself over. I had never thought I'd look more like a Flamer. Standing there in nothing but my tight briefs and a fashionably torn shirt that you could see most of my body through, anyone else could have mistaken me for a girl. I played with that thought, and cocked my hip to the side the way my mother used to do, wrapping my tail around my leg.

"Scaaaarrrryyyy," I moaned in my most feminine voice, shaking my head at myself. "He'll get a kick out of this."

I fiddled with the tears in the shirt for a bit, and pulled some of my chocolate fur through them so it stuck out. Then I went and flung myself over the back of the couch. My legs stuck up in the air as I lay upside down with my head hanging over the edge of the cushions, and I found that I was perfectly content to just stare at the black screen of the television hanging on the wall in front of me.

It was still hard for me to wrap my head around all that had happened. I'd gotten together with the man of my dreams, I'd made some wonderful new friends, and it all had happened in such a relatively short amount of time. It seemed almost preposterous, but it had been real. I couldn't wait to tell my mother. I couldn't wait for Deacon to get back, and I was so excited about thinking what our future was going to be like together. The thought of our conversation in the car reared its ugly head again, but I knew it would turn out alright. His family would love him. It was impossible not to love him.

I smiled as I closed my eyes. My world was upside down, but completely right-side up. Happy couldn't begin to describe how I felt.

I'd fallen asleep. I gasped as I felt those warm hands slip down my bare legs and rest atop my hips. My neck was stiff as I craned it forward to look up. I was still upside down on the couch, and the neon shirt had fallen and my stomach was uncovered. Deacon stood leaning over the back of the couch with a playful smirk on his freshly washed face. He didn't have on a shirt, and his bare muscle made me melt, the top of a pair of athletic-shorts peeking over the rim of the couch. His fur was still damp, too, the leftover heat of the water whisking off of him in tendrils of steam.

He rubbed my bare stomach, then twined his fingers in a strip of my shirt, "I'd forgotten I still had this thing."

I grinned and blushed as he traced his eyes over my body, "I thought it was kinda sexy."

"It is on you. Not so much on my sister which is why I took it," he said silkily.

"Protective are we?"

"Yeah, but you pull it off, and the fact that you're barely wearing any underwear makes it even better." He grinned devilishly, "You're very...titillating."

"Hah," I coughed, "Ironic word choice."

"Not really." He pointed at my reflection in the TV screen, "Look."

I let my head fall again, and couldn't control my laughter as I saw what he meant. The shirt had fallen and pushed up the thicker fur of my chest, and now the hairs were stuck into a very breast-like shape beneath the cloth. I could feel my skin tingling there where the hairs were shoved in a direction they weren't supposed to go.

"You have manmary glands," he chortled, "Get it? Mammary? Man-mary?"

"You're funny."

He leaned over further and wrapped his arms around my back. I grunted as he lifted me from the couch, and my head swam as the blood started flowing normally again. He pressed me to him, and I felt his tail wagging as I wrapped my legs around his waist then kissed him.

He turned us toward the bed after pulling back, "Sleepy time?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head on his shoulder, "Sleepy time."

He smelled wonderful, like fresh Rosemary and Lilac, and the aroma washed over me as he lay me down on the bed. One side dipped in a little so I guessed that was his side. I crawled to the spot next to it, and plopped down, burying my face in a pillow.

"Awh, bo," he whined.

I peeled my head from the softness and peered back at him. He was picking up the clothes I'd taken off, and folding them before sitting them on the dresser.

He had the pants and was folding them over his arm, "These are nice, and Benji gave'em to you. You shouldn't leave them laying..." Something fell from one of the pockets as he flipped the pants upside down. I couldn't see what it was, but his head tilted to the side as he looked at it on the floor. "Uh, Colby," he asked, his tone caught somewhere between confusion and whimsy. He held up whatever had fallen out and walked over to me, "I, uh...I think Benji wanted you to find this."

I squinted, still unable to tell what the thing was.

He held it out in his open palm, and I took it. I couldn't help but laugh even though I felt so awkward I could have cried, "Ohmygawd..."

It was a condom. A very large condom for a very large tool. There was a little note stuck to the back that read, "Just wanted you to think safe *wink* - Uncle B."

Deacon was so flushed that steam was rising in torrents from his face, "He has a very peculiar sense of humor."

My sides were starting to hurt I was laughing so hard, and my eyes were sopping in tears, "I...I, haha, lo...love Uncle B...Benji!"

Deacon wanted to laugh, but he was too embarrassed to do so.

I wrangled my laughter into control, "That's just like him to do something so random."

A chuckle escaped him, "He's a random dude, but he really cares doesn't he?"

I nodded and laid the condom on the bedside table, "Yeah. Yeah, he does."

The bed jostled as he crawled on top of the covers and lay down facing me. I lay back down, too, on my side and facing him. I crept like a worm toward him. The space between us becoming less and less.

His eyes sparkled as a rabid smile overtook his face, "Oh, come here."

I cackled as his big arm shot out then twined around me, and he pulled me against him. I laid my arms between us, and held a hand over his heart. I loved to feel that beat. I stroked his chest with the other paw, and he held me tight. His own hand rubbed the small of my back, and I felt him lay his head on top of mine.

"I love you, Colby."

"I love you, too, Deac."

Gently I pulled my head out and found his lips. Warmth bloomed in the pit of my stomach as we kissed, and he held the back of my head and kept us together for what seemed like an eternity of tingling bliss. Then I pulled away and huddled as close to him as I could get. He held me, and we fell asleep wrapped in one another.