[Star’s Across Lovers]: A Swirl of Black and White
Star's Across Lovers:
A Swirl of Black and White
"This is not night, this is not day, this is the border that is in-between." -BeaverReturn
A White Cygnus in Black Space: As soon he started typing his ideas became fluid. A drinkable substance, these ideas flowed through him like rapid waters: his 'fingers' a waterfall, the keyboard a natural pool, and his laptop becoming a colourful rainbow arcing over it all. His words on the screen, his ideas made physical, and the index of his thoughts proven real, combined in the mist of his labours and together they made this beautiful bow spectrum. But despite the ease, despite the harmony his body developed with his machine, despite the science fiction vision of mind becoming attached to computer, his words did not match this unity and like a white rose soaking in a vase of ink, beauty became corrupted.
The young avian being, a strange creature indeed, was the mix of swan and man. It had its pearl feathers; it had its long white neck, skinny head with beak, and black flipper feet, but all of this was on the frame of a human. This visionary experiment never could fly, for its feathered wings would combine with the jointed arms of man and where his hands would once be, there was only a pair of 5-digited black talons. The young avian being is both beautiful like a swan and handsome like a man, it is an abominable wonder, an offensive marvel, a demonic angel and with his neck curled gracefully towards his screen, red pyjamas on his legs and glasses upon his beak, he is a master typist--keyboard ticking as he continued to write:
How can I tell you how my world around me has changed? In a time made in the shine of love's glory I had been cursed to see everything in double vision. I was made to see everything in a dual reality, a dual reality to be painted pink I suppose.
In that world painted rose, I would look at my couch: three cushions became two cushions, as I always would leave a spot for you. In that world painted rose, I would look upon my fridge: A recipe for two, as I always would make a plate for you. In that world painted rose, even the kitchen sink held an extra spot because my side was always waiting--waiting for you. In a time, made in the shine of love's glory, I have been cursed to see everything in double vision, but with one exception: Our bed.
For in that rose colour world, that was a spot when we became one.
The creature, his voice as gentle as a swan song, felt the compulsive need to speak allowed--in a cruel satire he taunted himself, "There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission." And then he continued typing,
But now my lenses have been corrected, the bar fixed on my TV set screen my world adjusted back to the normal. My Outer Limits turned Inner Limit, my Major Tom now back home with Ground Control, my heroic Odysseus back in the confines of Ithaca. Now my lenses have been corrected, and I see my world single vision with clear reading glasses on beak.
Now I look at my couch, three cushions turn one, as I see a spot to lie down. Now I see my fridge, a recipe for one, perhaps I'll give myself leftovers for tomorrow. Now I see my dishes, a chore for one, my side unfulfilled. Now my lenses have been corrected, and I see my world in single vision, but with one exception: My bed.
For in the clear coloured world, that spot feels like it was made for two. Us two, and only us two.
Signed,
_ Deneb_
P.S. Tonight I will be sleeping on the couch.
Named after the glowing white star that shined particularly bright on his hatch-day, Deneb was the name of the creature. Deneb, identity summoned from the twilight itself, was the name of the one who wept so harshly to himself. Deneb, a swan and a man, a creature so graceful and elegant, was the name of the pale rose that withered in black ink.
He shut his laptop in a harsh slam to hide the words from his view. A singing inner mind kept him awake and even as he typed his thoughts in front of a coffee table in his apartment, such choirs were never to be quelled. He needed a distraction, something-- anything to help him sleep. Sitting within the living room he flicked on a wall mounted flat screen TV. 32 inches of screen, modest enough by modern standards, Deneb's mother always felt you could know a lot by the kind of T.V. a person watched.
Considering the words of his mother long past, Deneb's mind imploded as though he had become the star to which he was named after. His person turning itself into a massive singularity, he pulled the world around him in. What did his television say about him? Deneb wondered. Did it speak of his honest fortunes? Did it betray the secrets of his humble career? Did it make him look showy; did it make him look like a braggart? Was it too big? Was it too much?
Cyclical poisons turned Deneb's wonders into fanged thoughts. Like liquid magma these thoughts spewed out of a cone volcano built from the top of his head. Deneb knew HE (in reference to the one Deneb loved) wasn't a materialist; in fact HE was against such notions. Could it be? Had such grandiose splendour betrayed Deneb in the end? Could it be, their break-up, all of Deneb's romantic misfortunes was because of the TV he owned? Just as an opening monologue began to speak on the television,
"There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission..."
Deneb angrily flicked it off. Then, in the immediate silence that filled his apartment afterwards, he closed his eyes, relenting to the entire silliness of his accusing assumptions. Deneb pondered to himself in the stillness that followed,
'Stars had the ability to light up the darkness of space, but when they collapse, when they fall, they became the purist form of black; a world without light'.
He could not blame the television, he could not blame his apartment, he could not blame his friends, in truth he could only blame one person-- himself.
'Stars are dynamic, stars are bright, and stars are nuclear but black-holes are different. They are still, they are silent, they are dark, and where Stars give light, energy, and heat, Black-holes can only consume.'
A talon finger motioned to turn back on the remote but then an abrupt loud buzz interrupted the motion.
** "Nevermore:"**
"Denny! Denny! It's me, man, guess what Denny..."
A loose feather flew off of Deneb and started to float downward caught in its own aerial spin. But before it could land on the leather couch to which the swan had sat, Deneb already has his talon finger on the intercom,
"It's 2 A.M. What do you want?" Deneb said brashly.
"Guess what?" The other creature, the other avian being, the love of Deneb, spoke in a slur, "I'm drunk!" He fastidiously sang.
"Poe, I was just on my way to bed." Deneb's side weakly fell against the wall. He was caught in the alluring stares of the Goddess known as Tender Love and her sister, Sweet Nostalgia. From divine eyes they dragged his ship to their jagged rocks. But he did not care for their song was so sweet. When he spoke his words his shield had already fallen; he failed to hide the desperate, yet deeply whispered love that floated into the electric box beside him.
"Is there room for one more in that bed?" Brazenly retorted Poe with an uneasy voice. He wavered back and forth from the mike, caught in the charming stare of the god known as High Festival and his brother Burning Loins. His words aggressive and needing, yet deeply intoxicated in his sway made audibly obvious.
"Poe--I don't think I can--I mean," He said speaking back into the intercom. "I have work--" Deneb paused, his beak still talking to the intercom.
"I need you, Fuck, I need you tonight." Poe interrupted, "Just let me in. I just want to see you."
"....We are controlling transmission..."
"I have some left over supper if you're hungry."
Deneb pressed the button marked "Door."
Minutes later and there was a rapping on Deneb's door. As it knocked, the sound was not just heard, but also felt, touched, seen, and tasted. It busied his mind, it raced his heart, it shook his fingers, it dried his mouth, and it blurred his vision. That single note being played on his door became the overture to an opera, a dramatic introduction; a suitable salute to the raven's arrival.
Deneb unlocked his door and the universe suddenly reversed its spin; suddenly a black hole disappeared as solar rays burned once again in the night sky. To the planets around the star, day had returned!
Where Deneb's feathers were as white as the face of the moon, Poe's feathers were as a dark as the space around it. For where Deneb was part man part swan, Poe was part man, part raven.
Enter the Raven:
Falling onto to the side of the door, the crow hugged its frame for balance. As he fought to find his footing, as he struggled to stand, a bruised and swollen eye twitched repeatedly. His feathers were ruffled and there was blood dripping from the nasal holes in his beak. His shirt, vest, and jeans, ripped, torn and rattled, Deneb realized once again Poe had gotten himself into a fight.
"My god, Poe what did you do this time?" Deneb raced towards his medical cabinet.
"Hah! I have a bit of a boo-boo, got a band-aid?" Giggled Poe as he stumbled his way over to the couch to sit down. Turning his beak to the air, he placed a hand over his wound, trying his best to stop the bleeding.
"Were you out playing music tonight? Where is your guitar?"Deneb questioned, carrying a tray of medical supplies as he came up behind Poe. Softly he rubbed a tissue over Poe's bloodied beak; his attempts at nursing his ex-lover both gentle and graceful.
"Ouch!" Poe groaned, jerking away from a now probing cotton swab, "I left it at the bar. I figured it might get broken during the fight."
"What was the fight about?" Deneb moved around the couch and grabbed the beaten raven's head between his hands so he could properly examine the raven's swollen eye.
"Don't know, Don't care." Defensively murmured Poe as Deneb prodded the inflamed flesh around his eye, "Agh! Fucking watch it, asshole!"
"I should get some ice for this." Deneb suddenly felt a deep hurt in his heart.
"Hey! Come on, I did not mean to--" The raven trailed off, "So are you seeing anyone?"
"Not that it is ANY of your business, but I actually am seeing somebody."
"Does he fuck as well as me?" The raven got up from the couch and turned towards Deneb. There was hunger in his dark black eyes, but there was also anger.
With icepack in hand Deneb backed himself against the fridge as Poe crept closer, "You're drunk..."
"No, I'm horny."
"...Go back to the couch and I'll settle you in for bed." Deneb nervously commanded.
Poe met beak with Deneb and the two joined in a kiss. Deneb tried to resist, but Poe's aggressive libido came onto Deneb with such force and desire, Deneb felt that his easy surrender was as natural as the day surrendering to night, as light conceding to dark, as morality yielding to compulsion. Poe made his agenda clear and Deneb could no longer resist it. In the kiss they shared Poe's beak was pointed upwards, Deneb's neck was curving downwards, and between the two, arousal was quickly growing.
Deneb's pyjama's tented as his arousal stretched the elastic fabric forward. His human genital pushing against Poe's as Poe pulled him closer to his body. Tongues exchanging within a beak kiss, electric excitement, hunger, and desire passed between the two bodies as a dark talon-hand passed over Deneb's rump and pulled his pant downwards, exposing his posterior.
As a talon finger massaged Deneb's dry and exposed hole, Poe began to gently play along Deneb's long neck with his beak. The excitable sensation raised goose-bumps, awakened Deneb's flesh, and activated a lulling lust inside of him; Deneb became more powerless to resist.
"You haven't been fucked in a while, hm? Your new boyfriend got a problem with you or something?" Poe whispered pulling away his hand. Ashamed and speechless, Deneb turned his head away from Poe. Poe continued, "I've missed that tight little hole of yours but never would I expect it would miss me."
Deneb snapped his head back towards Poe, "How can you say that?" There were tears in his eyes now.
"Easily enough." The raven ridiculed as he squeezed Deneb's hardened erection through his pyjamas, "
"Of course I miss you. I was writing you a letter before you came over. It's on my laptop! I have written you so many letters. I've just never been able to send--" The swan sniffed, fighting back a flood of emotions as the raven spoke cruelly towards him.
A forcefully tug pulled Deneb's pants down and in one swift movement the swan was now nude. Teasing the bare erection, Poe slowly began to rub. Beak still caressing Deneb's long white neck, Poe continued to deride, "What makes you think I even want to read your letters?"
"I have always loved you..." The swan threw his arms over the raven's neck. The raven responded by tightening his grip on Deneb's cock, increasing his pace, becoming harder himself as he heard the Deneb switch between whimpers and moans in his ear.
"Look how hard you are right now. Look how desperately you want me to fuck you. You are so sad." The raven's breath had stunk of alcohol but the Swan had not noticed its burning scent. Nor did he care how when they kissed, he could taste the irony scent of blood that his wounds poured out. Nor did he feel the soft and swollen tissue of the raven's bruised flesh as his swan talons swam through his ruffled feathers. His star was in the abyss of the raven's cosmos. The raven's darkness was consuming, and like sinking in a pit of tar, the descent into it was slow, subtle, and before the swan knew it, he was head deep and drinking it's asphyxiating miasma.
"St-st-stop." The raven lifted the swan onto the kitchen counter and with strong arms forced spread his les. Shoving his full body against the swan, the swan fell backwards trying to resist as the raven loosened the belt of his torn jeans, pulling his pants and underwear down. From waist down the raven was nude, his unconcealed erection now pressing against the soft hole of the swan. The swan winced, a nervous shake shivering through his body as his erection dripped pre-cum. The swan almost felt embarrassed of his body, for he was so uncomfortable, so ashamed, but yet his erection so hard.
"Don't worry, although I want to see you scream, I won't dry fuck you." The raven grinned in his own avian way as he reached down into pant pocket and pulled out a bottle of lube. Squirting the cold gel over the hole of the swan, with two fingers at first he rubbed a circular motion around the puckered flesh and then he began to prod his fingers into the swan.
"That's it, open up for me. You dirty slut." The raven dominantly taunted, licking his lips as he spoke, "All you ever wanted was my dick inside of you."
The swan winced as the fingers invaded his insides. He felt powerless against the Raven. He was a star, his brightness limited in its ability to fight against the darkness of space. To a distant planet he is merely a tiny twinkle, to an even further planet he is nothing, a blank spot amongst a black expanse. Space controls the stars. Stars do not control space.
"You're pathetic."
Prodding fingers, invading fingers, the raven's insertion violated the mind but pleasured the body. An emotion of uneasiness calling for resistance and demanding response, yet his body, lulled by its own arousal, became moot against the assault and instead he found himself eventually riding the raven's fingers in a gesture of needing anticipation.
"Does he fuck you as good as I do?"
"No." The swan cried out as the Raven pulled away his fingers and squeezed the rest of the lube onto his own cock, lathering it in as he prepared himself to penetrate the swan.
Cock-tip now pressed against hole, Poe bucked his hips as the swan gasped feeling the raven's brusque and sudden push. Black against white feathers mixed together as the shaft dove deeper into the swan, their gasping breaths joining together as they both let out a sigh into the air between them. The swan's own legs spread out as the raven firmly grasped Deneb's ankles apart, the ravens hips rocked back and forth as the swan relented to the cock that repeatedly impaled him.
"Fuck yes."
The raven leaned forward meeting beak with Deneb's and as his hips violated Deneb's opening, so too did his greedy tongue violate the swan's beak. As their kiss grew, as they fucked on the kitchen counter, an explosive and sudden passion began to fasten them within their own inner realm. The exterior world fading around them, that was when Deneb realized, within an abrupt sense of psychic ability, that he was not the only one who was in need. The raven, as horny as he was, had more than just lust on his mind. He was in need too.
White feathers clashed with black feathers and a heavy pant filled Deneb's ear as the raven continually shoved his strong hips into the body before him. Relenting to a growing inner desire, a wrecking ball of emotion had tumbled him forward and as he had let go of the swan's legs, he had also let himself fall into his body. Deneb responded by wrapping his legs around the raven, holding him in an embrace of sorts as he dug his talon's into the raven's back.
A power was growing into him as he forced the raven to lie within HIS embrace. He was a star; his brightness was a rebellion, he was fighting against the darkness of space. His glow, his enormous being, broke space's expanse, heated it, gave it light, and even gave it life as planets became nursed by it. Space needed stars within it as much as the stars needed to be within space. Every glowing star is life, every growing star is a heart, and when a star collapses into a black hole, sure as SHIT space will feel it.
The swan boldly bit the raven on the shoulder, sealing him, coupling him to his form. The raven was not one who easily relented, but he was unable to escape the swan as he became confined within the constricting body. Now space did not force the darkness upon the star, the star forced light upon the space.
"Yea, take it you fucking slut." The raven growled.
"Shut the fuck up." The Swan growled back, forcefully digging his talons into the back of the raven.
As two continued to be joined in their amorous display, black trapped by white, swan holding raven, they became caught in a struggle for dominancy. The raven knew he had lost his hold on the swan that somehow the swan had become strengthened, and although he fought for a shift in power, Deneb would not relinquish his victory. That was when the raven heard it,
"....We are controlling transmission..."
"You no longer have me Poe."
"Rub my dick while I let you fuck me, you sadistic bag of rotted feathers." The swan commanded between huffs of breath as he felt the orgasmic pressure build behind his own inner seal. The ravens thick cock as it continued to push into him roused his inner organs and now a growing tightness begged for release, "Do it!," The swan insisted and then Poe listened, but he was unsure as of why.
Poe finally reached climax as a loud moan escaped his beak and a pulsating shiver pushed through his body. In one final thrust, he let go his ropes of thick seed as they coated the interior body of the swan and dripped out from his opened hole. The swan responded to this by spouting his own thick stream of cum in a fountain display that coated the chest of the raven. Leaving white streaks on his clothing and matted black feathers. 'Stars in space' Deneb thought, 'stars in space.'
Poe collapsed onto the swan but found that his cuddle was immediately rejected. Instead, Deneb pulled himself away from the raven and then shifted himself off of the counter. Poe, panting in the aftermath of his own orgasmic glory, fell onto the counter space that was behind him,
"Thanks I need that." He smugly said.
"You can go now." The swan responded crossing his arms.
"What, you're not going to let me stay the night?"
"My boyfriend is coming over tomorrow. I don't want you around here anymore."
"So what? It's just a wham-bam-thank-you-man kind of deal? You really are a slut." The strength came back to Poe's legs, his panting weakened, and he stood back up grabbing his jeans from the ground.
"Perhaps...Perhaps I was a slut. I do know for sure that I was fool. Perhaps I was even weak. But at least I am not asshole, alcoholic, dirt-bag like you Poe. I may have once believed that I needed you in my life. But I don't need you anymore. In fact, if anything it was you who needed me. But now you can't have that. I'm content that we had this hurrah; I guess it helped me get some stress out. But the real joy is in knowing that this will be our last one, which it will most certainly be. I repeat, and for your sake I do wish that this sticks into your thick skull, this will be our LAST night together; I hope it keeps you warm in your lonely nights to come. "
"I never thought you could be so cold." Poe narrowed his eyes, bringing his beak close to Deneb's, "You were always my star. I mean--Well, I'm not one who can easily say these things, and maybe at times,-- I guess-- I had not been the most perfect of lovers during our relationship. But you--you were not like me--I mean, you were always a star to me. I don't know what I did wrong to make you so cruel but I am sorry that I hurt you, I mean, if it is my fault, which I guess it is. I just get aggressive sometimes. Or, I may get even a little overly aggravated. But It's a shield though, babe. It's a shield."
Poe landed his beak onto Deneb's and they began to kiss again. For a while they shared the kiss together, and for a while Deneb began to melt back into the crow, but then Deneb was able to break free from the kiss,
"Get out." Snarled the bird,
Poe did not budge,
"Now!"
Poe lowered his head; there were tears in his eyes.
"Get the fuck out. Get out! Get OUT! GET OUT!" Deneb's arm was outstretched pointed towards the door.
"Goodbye then--I guess." Poe sulked out of the apartment
A Swirl of Black and White:
Deneb sat nude on the edge of his bed exhausted in both mind and body. The sex he had shared with Poe had left its scars both physically and mentally, a strain in his flesh was equalled by the strain in his heart. There were twisted knots in his stomach, a pain that choked his throat, a drowning sense of doubt. For the first time since Poe's visit, his body (although satisfied) agreed with his heart (which was never pleased), now both of them were in pain.
Reaching over to his bedside table he grabbed his cell phone and flicked through his contacts. Navigating the menu he scrolled down until he came to the name "Xi." Pressing down on the "call" button, he waited through the phone's ring.
"Hello?" The magpie on the other end responded, sounding as though he had just woken up.
"Hey, I cannot see you tomorrow."
"Oh really? Well then perhaps another time then."
"No I can't see you again. Not now. Not ever."
"What? Why? What's going on? Can we talk this out?"
"No. Goodnight." Deneb hung up and continued to scroll through his contacts until he came by the name, "Poe." And then his talon-finger hovered a while. Shutting off his phone he then laid down on his bed, his eyes closing.
"I probably should have slept on the couch." He restively spoke to himself. Space needs the stars, stars need to be in space, and that night Deneb did not sleep.
==
Hey guys, with mid-terms over I'm back (for as long as I can be).
Over the course of pounding out essays during my absence from so furry, I also managed to get some other stories written for some more "serious projects" I have on the go. You know the kind of products that stop being fun and start being mind-numbing as you read it over for the fifteenth time to make sure it's perfect. Writing furry stories for you guys is practise, and it's enjoyable...Writing non-furry stories for anthologies, fun, but requires WAY to much confidence, and WAY too much fretful editing.
In terms of this story, this story was actually written over many different sittings. What was once started as a late night free-write eventually survived my almost inevitable and immediate deletion, as I began to morph the two characters more. I think this story started off as a love story, but, in being me, I just could not settle on any old generic dramatic love plot. Also my inability to write happy endings (75% of the time) due to a cynical realization of my own romantic falters makes it difficult to try and write ANYTHING that's just PLAIN romance. Seriously, I have a problem.
So I did not write a romance, instead I would call this story more of a drama.
In terms of each of my writings being experimental in their own way, I think the most important things about this story is its navigation of characters (seconded by imagery exploration). I originally made the characters because I wanted to write something avian because I feel like avian characters have been neglected in the fandom recently (I blame the Scalies). But as I came up with the Swan and the Raven, I rather began to enjoy the pairing and it helped me form the characters more ambiguously. I admit it leaves room for a sequel, but I don't want to be burdening myself with too many projects at once. I'm feeling very fragile in things going on in my life right now, and thus commitment to a story series probably is not the most promising venture to go exploring right now.
On a final note, if my story seems a little dark, I'm sorry. But I've currently combating some pretty bad moods as of late.
Don't worry my fellow furries, I may be in a bit on a snit right now, but I'm not one who dwells in his own misfortunes--once things clear up round here, I'll be feeling better in no time. I'm optimistic.