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Romari Susi is a dirty old wolf, the emperor of a mighty nation, and the joint-CEO of a massive worldwide corporation; he's well respected, and is closeted from the rest of the world, though it's a poorly kept secret at best. He shares his bed with his straight-laced secretary, co-CEO, and mate Neal, who is a flying fox (AKA, a fruit bat). Luckily for their domestic tranquility, Neal is rather open to his mate's wide-ranging romantic exploits.

Joining them in their adventures is the captain of their imperial guard, a raccoon named Taxas.

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JUVENILE UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY

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Captain of the Guard Taxas:"Your Eminence, I could use some clarifications on what it is I'm supposed to be doing, exactly."

Imperial Sovereign Romari:"You're the Captain of the Imperial Guard. It's your job to guard the imperial personage. I.E. me."

Taxas:"I understand that part. I'm wondering why you insisted that I wear a silver cross and a string of garlic bulbs around my neck, and a bandoleer full of sharpened sticks instead of, I dunno, guns. Or even a nice sharp sword. Everyone's been staring at me, and the garlic smells funny."

Romari:"You'll see."

Taxas: *Turns to Neal* "Secretary?"

Imperial Assistant Neal:"Don't look at me, Captain. I was never consulted on any of this."

Romari:"All I can say is to keep an eye on the thing we're waiting to see. Don't look it directly in the eyes, and if it attacks, ward it off with the cross. It's an unholy abomination."

Neal: "He is a lawyer, sir."

Romari: "Exactly!"

Taxas:"Look Your Excellency, I need to know what's really going on, or I can't protect you properly."

Romari:"Fine. He's a vampire, alright? Why else would he keep office hours at night instead of the daytime?"

Neal:"Perhaps he just wishes to cater to nocturnal clients. Or perhaps he's nocturnal himself."

Romari:"He's got fangs!"

Neal: "You've got fangs!"

Romari:"And he's got a funny accent!"

Neal: *Rolls his eyes* "Somehow I doubt that to be a reasonable criterion for determining demonic possession and undeath, sir. I mean, honestly. I'm quite certain that vampires don't actually exist."

Romari:"Have you never heard the phrase, 'blood-sucking lawyer'? Believe me, it fits."

Taxas:"Have you actually seen him suck someone's blood?"

Romari:"Not exactly, though I know he sucks other things."

Neal:"Have I mentioned how much your social graces have improved lately?"

Romari:"As a matter of fact, no."

Neal:"There might just be a reason for that."

Taxas:"So how do you know this person, Your Excellency?"

Romari:"We were an item before Neal came along, but we broke up because he's unrepentantly evil and tried to destroy my soul."

Neal:"Sir, only you would pursue someone you are convinced is a demonic entity from the nether planes."

Romari:"What can I say? I had some wild times in my teenage years. I'm just glad I've matured since then."

Neal:"This is why I've never asked about your childhood, sir. The very idea terrifies me."

Romari:"Just keep an eye on him, both of you. I've had him on retainer for years. If he's half as good at draining arteries as he is at draining bank accounts, you'll need to stay on your toes."

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