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People hardly ever think around stories. After all, why should they? A fairy tale is a neat little package, with a beginning, an end and usually a good lesson learned. From Once upon a time until happily ever after you get a little story that doesn't take too long to tell and can help get your children get to sleep.

This story was about a little country being terrorised by a large and evil dragon. Not only did it burn the homes and fields of the people, but it also had a beautiful princess prisoner in its lair who would fall deeply in love with her saviour. The king of this land had three sons. The eldest son was a keen businessman who was set to inherit the crown and all the riches of the kingdom, and so was very wealthy. The second son was a brave and valiant knight, and was renowned as a great swordsman. The youngest son had neither great riches nor great might in arms, but instead was smaller than his brothers, and more apt to reading.

The king eventually became weary of having his kingdom terrorised by the dragon. His eldest son was sent off to confront the dragon. He tried to bargain with the dragon, knowing how much dragons love gold and riches. The dragon, however, was quite happy to carry on as he was, and so he burned the prince to a crisp.

And so the second son left to confront the dragon. He wielded a bright sword and went not to bargain with the dragon, but to slay him. However, the dragon was used to battles with knights and warriors, and so the second prince met his demise the same way as the first.

And so the third son was sent off to defeat the dragon. He was not a great warrior, and he was not immensely rich. But he was the cleverest of all the princes. He listened to the countrymen who had seen the dragon, and found out about a chink in the dragon's armour. With the knowledge of this weak spot he crept into the dragon's layer and killed it, and freed the princess from her prison, who fell deeply in love with the prince. And so everyone lived happily ever after.

Or, at least, that's how it was supposed to end. The third son, as is the wont in these tales, did indeed slay the dragon because he was smart, and the princess did fall in love with him. The reader has learned the value of intelligence as well. But as for the happily ever after part, that caused a bit more difficulty. The reason behind the difficulties was with the prince. He was gay.

***

"My son!" exclaimed the king. "You have returned where your brothers have not! Oh joy!"

"Your son truly is a valiant man, your highness," said the princess. "And I have fallen deeply in love with him."

"Oh to fortune unlooked for! This truly is a great day! I will start organising the wedding at once."

"Um, about that, dad," said the prince.

"Yes, my son?"

"Well, you see, I've been meaning to have a chat with you."

"Go on."

"I don't know how to put this. You know the way I haven't actually been out with any girls?"

"Just waiting for the right one to come along, I expect," replied the king.

"Well, no, actually. You see, I'm gay, dad."

There was an awkward silence. The king opened and shut his mouth a couple of times, as if he was expecting words to suddenly develop lives of their own and come out of their own accord. The princess's jaw dropped.

"Whoa there a moment. You mean to say I've been rescued and have fallen madly in love with a queer? Oh, this is just great. Do you know how many years I have been cooped up in that dragon's lair? I did not spend most of my life pining away for my saviour just to find out he isn't into girls."

"So, the wedding, then..." said the king.

"There's not going to be a wedding, dad," said the prince.

"Hello? Was I just speaking to myself? I am having a wedding, whether queeny-prince here likes it or not." The king and the prince both ignored her.

"Right, okay, let me get this straight," said the king. "You believe, no wait, here me out, you believe that you are gay. This means you can't marry her. Both your older brothers are dead. So who will be king when you are gone? We are all that is left of the royalty here."

"This isn't something I just chose to be you know. This is what I am."

"I've had enough of this," said the princess and stormed off. A gay saviour was not how it was supposed to go. How could she fall madly in love with and then marry her knight in shining armour if he was more concerned with boys than girls? How could she get her happily ever after? But she had fallen madly and deeply in love with him, because that was how it went. There was something wrong with the world if a princess held prisoner by an evil dragon didn't fall in love with the one who released her from the evil dragon's grasp, because that was how these things happened, that was how the world worked. Right?

***

The king and the prince had a lengthy discussion about the virtues of women and how being gay was preposterous. Or at least, the king told the prince these things, but his words fell on deaf ears. The prince would not be persuaded.

A couple of weeks passed. The princess brooded in the room she had been given. The king refused to talk to him, and when he did it was usually either out of pure functionality (e.g. "Pass the salt") or to shout in a blind rage about how he couldn't possibly be gay. The prince tried to carry on with his life as normal. At least he had revealed his true self to his father, whether he accepted it or not. He could be more open about these things now. There was that stable lad... But things like that had to wait until this mess was sorted out.

He decided to talk to the princess. He walked to her room, which was situated in the tallest tower of the castle, because princesses are like that. He knocked gently on the door and cleared his throat quietly, as if he didn't want anyone to hear him.

"Yes? Who is it?" came a voice from within.

"It's me, the prince."

"Oh, erm, come in then, I suppose," came a slightly less confident voice.

The prince opened the door and walked into the room in a sort embarrassed way. "Hi," he said with a little wave.

"Hello."

There were a couple of moments of awkward silence. The prince knew he had to talk about the problem with the princess, but he didn't know exactly what he was going to say. Life didn't really prepare you for this sort of thing.

"Well? You came to see me about something?" said the princess.

"Yes. It's about this whole you loving me and us getting married thing."

"You mean you've changed your mind? Oh, how wonderful!" The princess stood up and was about to rush to the prince to hug him.

"No! I didn't say that. I wanted to discuss it. Look, I'm gay. I like other men, and that's the way it is. I'm sure you're a lovely girl and all, but I can't fall in love with you. I'm sorry"

The princess looked sullen for a moment. "But you were the valiant knight who saved me from the evil dragon's lair. We're supposed to fall madly in love and get married and then there's the happily ever after bit."

"But why me? I'm nothing special. I only went to kill the dragon because my dad told me to. I don't like all that swords and fighting stuff. I prefer reading."

"Because you saved me. It's kind of like a curse. I was the dragon's prisoner, and whoever saved me would be the one I fell madly and deeply in love with. And guess what happened, you saved me. It's not my fault if you turned out to be batting for the other team."

The prince stood thinking for a few moments. "You said it was like a curse. Was there a witch involved or something? Look, you don't want to love me, so if whatever spell or whatever it is can be reversed then you wouldn't have to be in love with me, yes?"

"I suppose so."

"You suppose so? I guess that's all I've got to go on. I'm really sorry about this, I hope you can understand."

With that the prince left. The princess pined away in her room, dreaming of her valiant prince through rose tinted glasses. He may be a homosexual, and he may not be brave or strong or any of those things, but he'd saved her, and that made all the difference.

***

The prince wasn't able to talk to the King, as all that led to was the King shouting again. Instead he sought the wise man, the King's chief counsellor. He was an odd man, who obviously wanted to be a wizard. He had a tall and thin body, and had a tall and thin face, with a tall and thin nose, as well as a long beard. He preferred long robes in deep colours, and always carried a long staff. He peered at the prince over tiny little round glasses.

"And how may I help you, young prince? A draught of love potion so that your heart will forever be tied to that of the waiting princess in the tower? An old man's advice on the ways of the world? Come, tell me what it is you desire." He had an expansive way of speaking, as if by making his voice sound grand he would be capable of grand things.

"I want some advice, Gerald," said the prince. Not many people knew the counsellor's real name.

"Please, call me Counsellor Adabram. And what advice is it you seek?"

"I need to know if there are any witches in this region who could have cast a spell on the princess to fall in love with her rescuer. You see, I don't love her, and I want to find a way of breaking the spell. And I know your love draught is just pond water with herbs in it."

Counsellor Adabram coughed in a slightly embarrassed way. "Yes, well. I can see your problem. But why not just try things out with the princess? You might grow to be fond of her."

"I don't want to grow fond of her, I want to break the spell."

"Oh, very well. there may be one who can help you. Her name is Metzelda, she is a witch who lives off in the woods east of here. Not much is known of her, but if anyone knows of such a spell, then I can think of no other than her."

"Thanks, Gerald," said the prince and left to find Metzelda.

***

It didn't actually take too long to find the witch. She lived not far away from a village close to a large forest. Her house looked strange from outside. It was covered in a mess of strange smelling herbs and long creepers. The roof was made of old thatch that appeared to have taken root. A single small chimney pot let off a thin trail of smoke. No light could be seen from the small windows.

The prince knocked tentatively on the door, not sure what to expect. Would it be some frail looking crone, or some mysterious dark lady? As it was it turned out to be a jolly, plump old woman wearing a pink dressing gown.

"Well, what do you want? I was just settling down for a quick nap, you know." This wasn't what the prince had expected, and he was somewhat taken aback.

"Are... are you the witch Metzelda?" he asked nervously.

"Yep. That's me alright. Who's asking?"

"I am Prince George, the one remaining son of the King, and I have come seeking your assistance."

"Royalty, eh? You'd best come in, mind the step there, it's a tricky one with a mind of its own," said the witch stepping inside her cottage. The prince followed, careful of the step, which looked like it had moved each time he glanced at it.

Inside was dark, but not ominously so. In fact it was quite cosy. The furniture looked old but comfortable, and everything was clean and fairly tidy. Only a few hints could be seen here and there of the occupant's occult calling. Hanging from wooden beams were a few bundles of herbs, on a table was a small ball of crystal held by an intricately carved hand, above the fire hung the obligatory cauldron, the effect of which was somewhat spoiled by the kettle and irons that also crowded around the flames.

"Have a seat, love. I'll just go get changed into something more suitable. Be with you in a minute. Feel free to put the kettle on." With that the witch disappeared upstairs, leaving the prince alone for a few minutes.

The whole house seemed strange. On the outside it appeared to be a typical witch's cottage, strange and almost menacing, but on the inside everything seemed so normal. After a few moments the witch returned. The prince was pouring hot water from the kettle into a teapot. The witch was wearing much more the sort of thing one would expect now. There was a lacy shawl around her shoulders, covering clothes of dark hues, and her hands and wrists bore rings and bracelets with strange sigils on them.

"I don't really go in for all this jewellery malarkey myself, but the clients do tend to expect something a bit occult about me, so it's mainly for them, you see. Now then, what was it you wanted? A potent love potion? The name of who your true love is? Power, strength, knowledge?"

"I think knowledge is closest. And I wish people would stop trying to give me love potions. You see, I rescued a princess from a dragon that was terrorising the land, and now she has fallen deeply in love with me."

"Right, so what's your problem?" asked the witch.

"Well, I'm gay, you see. So obviously I can't love her. But she's still madly in love with me. I want to know if there is any way of breaking the spell."

"Hmm, sounds like my sister Griselda, she was always one for that kind of nonsense. Could never see the point myself. I might be able to help you, but these kind of spells have a kind of sticking power, you know? People expect princesses saved from horrible dragons to fall madly in love with their rescuers. It's just how the world works. I'm pretty sure I can do it though."

The prince was overjoyed. "Tell me what I must do then, and any reward within my power to give shall be yours!"

"Are you sure? The price for such a task will be great."

"Name your price and I will see to it that you get it."

"The price will be heavy, and you will know it when the time comes. Bring the princess to me in two day's time. I've got things to sort out, important ingredients to gather, that sort of thing."

And so the prince left, confident that his problems would soon be over.

***

In a couple of days the prince brought the princess to Metzelda. She was happy enough to walk with him, her eyes often looking at him in a misty, glazed over kind of way. It disturbed him a bit, but he knew his troubles would soon all be over. They soon arrived at the cottage where the witch was waiting.

"Now, dear, let's have a look at you. Right, yes, this should work," said the witch. "I've had the cauldron going all morning, and the potion is ready. I had a right job getting some of the ingredients, I tell you. Do you know how messy it is getting the eyes out of newts? No, I don't suppose you do. Anyway, I suppose you'd both better sit down."

They went inside the cottage, which was filled with a strange odour. It wasn't altogether unpleasant, but it made the air seem murky and thick. Metzelda went to the cauldron and gave it a stir with a ladle before pouring some into a large cup. It was brown and gloopy, and didn't look nice at all.

"Now then, you just get that down your neck and we'll see if this works. It better had do. I've had it up to here with snake's entrails and collecting herbs with silly names at midnight." She handed the cup to the princess, who looked at it uncertainly.

"You want me to drink this!? Are you crazy? What's in it?" asked the princess.

"Trust me dear, you'd rather not know. Come on now, down the hatch!" The princess still looked unsure, but she held her nose and took a couple of large gulps of the stuff. Nothing seemed to happen.

"Well? Do you feel any different?" asked the prince.

"Drink some more. It needs a little while to act as well," said the witch.

With a further few gulps the princess finished off the weird potion. Still nothing seemed to be happening. There were no strange lights or puffs of smoke. There was a total lack of spinning eyeballs or amusing sounds. In fact, there was nothing happening at all, as far as the prince could see.

"Why isn't anything happening?" asked the prince.

"I told you already, it takes a while. It should take a night at least. I suggest you two head off back to the castle and rest tonight. You'll soon find out if it has worked in the morning."

"What of the price? What do you want in return for this?"

"As I said, you will know the cost soon enough," she said this with a wry grin, and the prince and princess headed back to the castle.

***

The princess went to bed early that night, feeling weary. The prince, on the other hand, couldn't sleep. At around midnight he headed up to the princess's room to check if she was alright. But, as he was outside her room, he could see a strange pale glow from under the door. Not sure what to do, or what kind of a state the princess might be in, he suddenly felt sleepy and so left her and went back to his own room, where he fell into a deep slumber.

In the morning the princess awoke feeling refreshed and happy. And, for the first time since her rescue, her waking thoughts weren't of the prince. She couldn't tell for sure, but she felt that the potion must have worked. She was saddened in a way, but it was a relief not to have the stress of loving someone who could not return her feelings.

The prince, on the other hand, awoke feeling strange. He felt clammy and confined in his bed, and hopped out. The door to his room opened, and the princess stood there, looking down on him. After a moment she screamed. The prince was confused by her reaction. He hoped that the potion hadn't gone too far and made her totally repulsed by him. He only wanted her to not love him any more. He tried to say something but found he could not speak.

After a moment Counsellor Gerald Adabram entered the room, wondering why the princess had screamed. He too looked shocked by what he saw, but he didn't lose his wits as the princess had. Instead he stooped down to pick up a letter that was on the floor which he read aloud.

"Dear Prince George,

If this letter has been found then the potion worked, and the price has been paid. I said the cost would be high, and it is, for now you are nothing but a frog. These things are expected of a witch, you know.

Yours,

The Witch Metzelda"

The princess had stopped screaming and panicking, and instead looked down upon the prince in his new form with some pity.

"I shall fetch the King at once," said the Counsellor and he left.

The king was soon brought to his son's room. He stood there aghast, and had to have the letter read to him three times before what had happened sunk in. He ordered that the prince be taken out to a pond in the garden where he would be more comfortable.

"Such things will happen if one meddles in the affairs of witches," he said.

There didn't seem to be anything else he could say. The princess stayed for a while in the castle, but she soon disappeared, and with her went one of the stable lads into the night.

The king went down to visit his son occasionally, but he didn't really know what to do or say. After all, what do you say to a frog that was once your human son? Eventually the king remarried though, for he was not too old, and he had another son, whom he named George II. The original prince George stayed in the pond and learned the ways of being a frog.

Happily ever after? Maybe not, but you'd be surprised at how happy you can be as a frog.