#22 - Hold Your Whorses
#22 of The Many Perversions of Romari Susi
Romari Susi is a dirty old wolf, the emperor of a mighty nation, and the joint-CEO of a massive worldwide corporation; he's well respected, and is closeted from the rest of the world, though it's a poorly kept secret at best. He shares his bed with his straight-laced secretary, co-CEO, and mate Neal, who is a flying fox (AKA, a fruit bat). Luckily for their domestic tranquility, Neal is rather open to his mate's wide-ranging romantic exploits.
Joining them in their adventures is the captain of their imperial guard, a raccoon named Taxas.
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HOLD YOUR WHORSES
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Imperial Assistant Neal:"Ah, Captain. I'm glad you're here. We have something to dis...cuss... What are you doing?"
Captain of the Guard Taxas:"Did I ever tell you how sexy you are, sir? I've always thought your wings were just irresistible. So soft and warm, like a living satin sheet."
Neal:"I'm quite flattered, thank you, but that's not why I wanted you here. It has come to my attention that your beau has been practicing animal husbandry with the livestock off the palace grounds again. A second stallion has joined the first in iniquity, and they've both disappeared!"
Taxas:"Did anyone actually see Sully take them?"
Neal:"Well, no, but His Imperial Highness is more than a little suspicious."
Taxas:"Is he upset?"
Neal:"He's quite thrilled to have a second verifiably homosexual stallion, but that's beside the point. And please remove your fingers from their current location, Captain. I swear, sometimes you're as bad as His Excellency."
Taxas:"If the emperor is happy, why is it an issue? We just find out where they've gone and go get them."
Neal:"It's not just that; your stableboy has been lax in his tending duties, and they've been causing international incidents! The second one leapt the horse paddock fence and surprised Minister Elmhest of Hiewha Province in the council chamber."
Taxas:"Surely seeing a horse in an unexpected place isn't too bad. It's just a horse, after all. And the minister's an ass anyway."
Neal:"He didn't deserve what happened, regardless of your feelings towards his ancestry. And stop touching that! It's distracting!"
Taxas:"No, I mean he's a noble, which is synonymous with 'bastard'."
Neal: "*Ahem* I happen to be the son of a noble house, thank you very much, and I like to think that I'm better than that, at the very least."
Taxas:"Well, you're different. But you know how hard Elmhest's province screws over the lower classes. They live in abject poverty! He could use a good screwing over himself now and then. And you could use a good screwing too, even if you don't need screwing over."
Neal:"Regardless, one more major incident and we will have to let Sullivan go."
Taxas:"Why? He has lots of other duties that keep him busy away from the paddocks, and one horse escaping isn't that terrible."
Neal:"It mounted Elmhest in front of His Eminence and the entire cabinet! He was disgraced! Nobody's seen him in days, ever since he locked himself in his quarters. He can't bear to show his face to anyone, not even the cleaning staff. They've heard his muffled sobbing every time they pass his door. And don't touch me there, either! You know how I get when you do that!"
Taxas:"Yes. Yes I do."
Neal:"Oh gods. That does feel good. You know, I think the predicament with your lover can wait 'til lay~haaay~haaater... Wow. Just keep doing that. Oh, yessss..."
~2 hours pass~
Taxas: *Whispers* "Neal?"
Neal: *Exhausted* "Wh'zat?"
Taxas:"I was supposed to tell you that I found both of those horses. They were in Minister Elmhest's personal chambers. The stallions followed him there a few days ago by scent, I think, and they certainly seemed to agree with me that he needed a good screwing over."
Neal:"Tha's nice...*Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...*"
Taxas:"Thanks for the distraction, Neal." *Kiss* "It was wonderful for me too."
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For a comprehensive list of all of them, go here: http://www.old.sofurry.com/page/318694/user.