FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Where do I begin? I suppose an introduction is in order. Hello my name is Kixkin, I'm a sixteen year old river otter. I've been between five foot four and five foot five for the past year or so. Although I do love the water like all otters do, I'm not the athletic type. I generally frown on stereotypes, but sometimes you can't help it, pop culture and all, but I'm just not the athletic type. But I do sing. And the only reason I can do it well is because of all my practice. I absolutely love singing, my music is my passion, the stage is my home ...it helps me hide behind a mask... I'm also a huge nerd. What I do for fun sometimes would make other people's heads explode. But Dungeons & Dragons takes some getting used to. It's like playing a more complex version of Pokémon. You gradually get to understand the rules, but it takes a lot more effort to be good. But other than that the only thing significant to note is how I can switch from overly emotional, to clean objectiveness, to just plain insanity in an instant.

And now begins the story...

I was in the "back" of the park, in the woods be the stream. I'd been musing over thoughts for a while, and then I heard footsteps coming from the trail. "what are you doing way over here," a familiar voice said, "I think you missed the bathroom by a couple of miles." I smiled. "if you wanted to be alone you should have just said so."

I had been a at a little get together when people had been talking about all the fun times they'd had with their families. At which point I asked where the bathroom was and decided to leave instead and come here to think. "It's all my fault!" I nearly whined out and then proceded to hide my face in my crossed arms that were supported by me knee.

The footsteps came closer and the familiar bear knelt beside me and put an arm around my shoulder. His other hand came under my chin and picked up my face so that my eyes met his, but I was looking down, away from his hand as his thumb gently caressed the sienna fur on my cheeck. "Look at me," he said in the voice he used when he was concernded, so I reluctantly met his eyes with my reddened ones. "What is your fault, that would be making you nearly cry?"

The words I was trying to say weren't surfacing but they were about to spill over the edge, and I clenched my eyes before nearly shouting as I finally got the words to come out, "I've been tearing my family apart for over two years, and it's all my fault!" In a calmer voice I continued, "why on earth did I let myself do this? Things could be so much simpler."

Smaxule, the bear who was currently trying to comfort me, sighed, "Kix, you know you're not to blame. You also know can't blame yourself for things that are out of your control. And would you really change the way things are to fix a few problems?" his blue eyes looked gorgeous.

"Never." The word breathily escaped my lips. I then threw my arms around his broad shoulders and held him tight, nuzzling into his chest, the dark brown fur beneath his shirt both soft and coarse at the same time, so safe. It acted as a thin cushion as I held on to him.

He returned my embrace for a few seconds, then his arms relaxed. "You can let go now," the words stung like needles, only causing my hold on him to tighten. "I don't want to,"

I uttered just loud enough for him to hear me. He then resumed holding me, and started to lean back so that I was on top of him as we laid on top of the fresh leaves covering the ground. I continued to hold him tight and nuzzle into his chest, as my breathing pattern slowly returned to normal. I always feel so safe when he holds me, I nearly fall asleep due to lack of stress. I'm also a lot calmer, as I no longer need to portray and experience high levels of energy to appear or be joyful. It gives me a chance to recharge my batteries. He kisses my forehead and slowly runs his hand up and down my back. I listen to the forest and its calmness. I finally break the silence, "how did you know I was here?"

"I followed the trail of breadcrumbs," this earned a giggle from yours truely. "You looked upset, and the nearest place for seclusion was the park five blocks down. And it had a natural water feature. So when I heard the door, I waited fifteen minutes before walking to the park to find you so you could have some time to yourself."

At that my left hand found itself on the back Smax's head and pulled my up so i could plant a soft, passionate kiss on hips lips. our heads tilted to the side and our eyes closed as our mouths opened and we shared a familiar gesture of our mutual compassion. Without surprise, I felt my sheath begin to stir, but I was to engrosed to pay it any attention. "Someone's enjoying themselves," I heard him say once we had parted.

I met this remark by gently tapping the back of his head to mimick a slap. "Shut up!" I said like a second grader trying to shun embarasment.

"Come on. The party was almost over, anyway. I'll walk you home," he said while trying to get up. I rolled off of him and he got up on his knees. He then got up and grabbed my hand while I sat up with my feet flat on the ground. He leaned back and pulled me up to my feet.

We got going and the sun was setting. It was beautiful... and so was Smax. Most of the way was silence, and then I saw a straight couple holdings hands as they walked down the other side of the street. I then felt jealous, jealous because their relationship was acceptable, because their relationship wasn't banished to the shadows. At this point I reached over and interlocked my webbed fingers with Smax's, feeling the warmth that sprung out of nowhere but at the same time from everywhere.

After a few minutes we let go. We walked together, sometimes silent, sometimes talking about different artists or what had been going on since we last saw each other. Sometimes as we walked Smax had his arm around me. We walked with the light of the sunset before us. It was beautiful, the two of us, practically alone and his arm around my shoulders. It felt so nice. It's those special little moments that make life worth living.

As we approached my house, it'd started to turn twighlight. I rang the doorbell, and then turned to Smax. I looked to both sides and then quickly landed a peck on his cheek. He returned with a faint smile, and he pulled me into a hug. I grabbed him and held him as close to me as possible for about fifteen seconds.

"See you on Monday, Kix," he said as he let go. He turned and began to walk home.

I called after him, "Be safe!" As I turned around, I saw my father standing at the door. I must not have registered the sound of him opening the door. He stepped so that he was in line with the open door, so as to motion me inside. My small otter ears folded back and my eyes lowered their line of sight slightly as I walked into the house, preparing for the verbal battle that was to insue. When the door closed I turned to face my father. 'Here goes nothing' I thought to myself.

TO POSSIBLY BE CONTINUED

I hope you liked it and I'll write a second part if I get enough positive feedback.