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The audience rumbled like a glittering supercell. Where there might have been lightening forks, the occasional leathery wing stretched. Where there may have been a swirl of snow, a wolfess or vixen flicked her glossily-black hair. Where shoulders of cloud would have bulged, a heavily muscled mate lifted his beer-glass to his lips, his big-cat dapples a spray of C shapes across his arms.

They crowded the hall, the diehards sipping at quaint little 40's tables at the front in outfits that almost outdid the performers. The majority made do with balancing their drinks on their knees and trying to keep their tails out of the way. The really late arrivals stood, shifting from one foot to the other. The whole place was rammed!

And from behind the thick red stage curtains peered a very anxious lioness called Apes.

"Are you getting nervous again, Bracelets?" came a sinuous voice from behind the lioness' shoulder.

Apes - nicknamed Bracelets for the green-dyed stripes on her fur - turned her head and offered the magpie hen a saucy grin, even though at that moment she didn't really feel very saucy at all. "Deja vu, darling. Deja vu. You know what these pre-performance moments are like."

The hen indulged her with a smile of her own and adjusted her dress. Electric blue, sharp, made bespoke for a lethally hot strip number this very evening. Right before Apes'.

A hard act to follow, thought the unhelpful part of the lioness' mind that doubted her talent. The part that usually only piped up a few moments before she was due to go on stage.

The part she generally told to shut up, on pain of death. Inka was capable enough of the same and had already walked away to do something or other with her outfit.

Apes gave the unsuspecting audience a final once-over before clicking her way away from the curtain, swaying with a dancer's grace, a peeler's attitude.

xXx

"GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME, YOU LUCKY FURRIES, TO A NIGHT OF FABULOUS FURLESQUE!" the bear compere's lively, feminine voice rattled around the room through the dodgy sound system. A vibrant, nervous energy passed through the artistes in the semi-darkness of the wings. Karma swirled with her gauzy fabric. Her shifting chameleonic colours would show through it later like a dream and it would slide flawlessly over her scales like water. Apes knew: she'd seen Karma's routine before. Little Wesley the illusionist dog fox buttoned his suit, the calmest-looking artiste of them all. On the outside, anyway.

Yapping, thundering applause exploded through the curtains. Apes sat out of sight and tried to relax for a few moments as she watched the magpie hen Inka try to breathe out her pre-stage nerves. "AND FOR OUR OPENING ACT TONIGHT WE HAVE... A VISION IN BLACK AND WHITE!"

Go on, girl! Apes thought, the warm nectar of comradeship banishing her stage-fright for a moment.

Inka did a burlesque performer's equivalent of standing to attention: she shifted her exquisitely high-heeled feet, pulled up the bust of her dress so that her voluptuous pectoral wing muscles bunched like the most majestic of bosoms, put a bejewelled black hand on her hip and smirked with casual, beaky pride as the curtain opened and the music started.

"WE HAVE... INKA!"

Apes looked again at the ring on the magpie's finger. It looked almost exactly like the one in her bag, the one that was going to play a part in her act. Well that would be a bit-

A jewel flower set with imitation rubies and surrounded by fresh green peridot flowers. Hang on, it does look the same! the lioness thought in alarm. This was bad. Turning up to a party dressed in the same clothes as another furry was bad enough, but wearing the same on stage?

Oh, ****-sticks!

The audience screamed and clapped and hooted and roared as Inka strutted onto the forestage to the slinkiest of tunes.

Except... There was one other possible explanation. Apes dived for the pretty handbag she'd scripted into her act and popped it open. I really hope for your sake this is a coincidence, Ink-

Oh no. Apes' hackles raised. You haven't.

It was rather speciesist to think so, but... Bloody magpies!

Where the feck am I going to get jewellery from at this time in the evening?!

Apes instinctively looked at the other artistes, even though she knew they couldn't - or wouldn't - help. None of them would want to lend their jewellery, it was all for their own acts.

So there was only one other thing for it.

xXx

Apes burst into the main hall in a yellow, leonine flurry. Right, where do I start?

Inka's theme music played and something on stage twinkled in the corner of the lioness' eye, but she paid it no attention.

There! She saw Calypso sitting at one of the tables with her mate. The guinea pig wore the most fabulous ivory-white dress and reclined in her seat, fanning herself with a little peacock-feather fan. Here goes.

"Hi Callie!" Apes trilled.

"Apes!" Calypso answered, her face brightening. Apes leaned in to air-kiss her.

"You look gorgeous tonight!" Apes enthused, wondered whether she sounded like she'd overdone it, and then decided she wasn't going to get this done on time unless she did. A teensy bit.

"And you're not..." Calypso started, looked over Apes' outfit and seemed to stumble over her words. "...so bad yourself." She batted her eyelashes as if trying to cover up her hesitation.

Apes pretended she hadn't noticed. The guinea pig had it right enough: Apes' showpiece tonight was her jewellery, not her deliberately understated, flowery dress. She glanced at Inka just as the magpie slid a strap deliciously off her shoulder.

"Oh, this old thing?" Apes asked and left the rest of her explanation hanging - Calypso could fill in the blanks herself. She changed the subject: "I love love love that fan! Could I possibly borrow it, just for my act?" Apes pouted and let a lock from her red wig fall over one eye.

And Calypso couldn't resist.

Apes disentangled herself from the guinea pig and stalked on. Who else has something I need?

Sapphire did.

"Oh! Sapphy, you're looking stunning tonight!"

Sapphire graced Apes with the subtlest slick of a smile. "Hello Apes, I didn't expect to see you down here. Aren't you performing tonight?" Everything about Sapph seemed to happen in slow motion, from the sweep of her tail to the hang and fold of the satin scarf around her neck.

The satin scarf Apes wanted.

"Yes, in a few moments," she answered breezily, not quite willing to reveal how desperate she was. A good burlesque queen never looked in a hurry. "But here's the thing, darling, I've lost my scarf. Could I possibly borrow yours until after the show?"

The wolfess looked surprised, in her own muted way.

Apes couldn't blame her and tried adding, "It's so beautiful - I'd love the chance to show it off," and stroked the fabric for good measure.

Sapphire saw that something was up. Apes felt like telling her she was right, but didn't, only kept up her stripper's grin. With a playful, suspicious glint in her eye the wolfess unwrapped the scarf from her neck and handed it to Apes.

Is that a real flower Venus is wearing? Apes thanked Sapphire and went over to find out.

"So the bleaching treatment worked then," she announced herself with a cheeky smile, then tried hard not to wrinkle her nose at what might be perceived as a snide comment.

Venus batted her eyelashes in surprise, and then smiled. "Apes! Are you all right love? You look a bit hassled."

"Well, here's the thing," Apes confided, plonking herself briefly down on the chair opposite Venus. She caught sight of Inka unlacing her girdle and then decided that looking at that magpie probably wasn't such a good idea while trying to schmooze other furries. She'd give in and spill the story to someone if she did. Instead she turned back to see that Venus had poured her a glass of champagne. Oh, you have no idea how tempting... "I didn't bring my props for this evening's show."

Venus gasped and covered her beak with her wing. "No!"

Apes sipped her champagne. "Exactly. And I can't really do without them. Venus darling, can I possibly borrow that flower? You'd really be helping me out."

"Of course, luvvie," And as easy as that, Venus pulled the pink rose out of her head-feathers and handed it to Apes.

Several friends later when Apes had run out of time, she disappeared backstage with her handbag practically bulging with goodies. She intended to keep them well away from Inka.

xXx

"AND FOR OUR NEXT ACT," the compere boomed into the mic, "COMING UP ONTO THE STAGE LIKE A SUNRISE... SHE'S OUR LIONESS SUPERSTAR, APES!"

Apes breathed in, breathed out and wiggled kittenishly onto the boards to her chosen music, her deliberately ordinary dress a picture of dainty modesty, her handbag an Aladdin's Cave of surprises.

Bright, excited eyes watched her from the semi-darkness below, living jewels among the dinky candle-lights and sparkles.

Apes mimed being too hot and fanned herself with her paw. Then she mimed having a marvellous idea, theatrically opened her handbag and pulled out the peacock fan. She cooled herself, eyelashes flickering with delight that was only half-acted - I really should get myself a fan like this! and, pretending to be relieved, put her handbag down on a little wrought iron table at the side of the stage.

Oh yes, audience! she grinned at the wonder-filled faces, I'm so very very hot. I need to take my dress off. Like this with my strap, see? But only that for now. Now, what can I put on to replace it?

She pulled Sapphire's scarf out of her handbag, the replacement for her gobsmackingly ample red flower necklace that would have covered her breasts perfectly. She draped it over her shoulders and around her forearms and wiggled again with glee. Now for the other strap, she thought and busily strutted to and fro as she removed it. Swathed in just enough satin to keep modest, Apes basked in satisfaction.

She turned her back to the audience and loosened the rest of her dress, letting it fall to the floor and revealing her feline voluptuousness. Several members of the audience whistled their appreciation. That's right, darlings! She felt for the ends of the scarf, wrapped them coyly around herself, opened then and wiggled, then wrapped herself again and turned, to another chorus of whistles and cheers.

Yes darlings, she thought indulgently. we call this a merkin where I come from.

But what's this? Gloves? Well, that simply won't do! One, two, three, four, five- And off came the first. And the other one- two, three, four, five. Her footsteps dainty but busy in to-die-for shoes, she picked up her handbag, melodramatically dug around in it and found the flower Venus had been generous enough to give her. Beautiful, she thought, holding it up and admiring it in the light so that the audience could see it too. She bent the stem into a circle and slipped it on, ring-style.

The music reached its crescendo, and Apes, with a flourish, courtseyed for the audience who erupted, the air full of cat-calls and wolf-whistles. With one final shrug of delight under Sapphire's scarf she turned her back and walked coquettishly off-stage.

The last the audience saw of her was the loops of her long tail as it swirled left, right, left and right like the curlicue at the end of a signature.

THE END.

Apes the lioness character © Apes. Story and other characters © Palantean Writer.