Betrayal
#4 of Poems
This is a poem dedicated to my younger sister.
We all have someone we look up to as a person to emulate
That person, whether related or not, that puts us in a state
Of a desire to strive harder and push further to our goals
How we all grow up strong stallions and mares after being foals
We pay close attention to how they act and to what they do
And use their actions and responses as a barometer on who
We want to become and the life we want to follow and then lead
Growing through our months and years, satisfying our need
Of having someone to look at and trust as a guide and a teacher
It could be a family member, an artist or your church preacher
Whoever it is and whatever they do on a day to day basis
Is all a path for us to follow in trust as we go through our paces
We grow from toddlers looking up at how our parents tend to act
And from there we work to be the same or improve on what they lacked
During that time we believe wholeheartedly that their integrity is intact
But what happens when all falls and you wind up getting shellacked
You expected him to be there to once again teach you how to play
You were excited to continue on from where you were the last day
Your instrument of music in your hands as you prepare for the next piece
Expectations so high after your last concert, the band so eager to please
But something is wrong, there's a new feeling in your gut that isn't welcome
An ominous sense that some unexpected disaster shall come
You're not sure what it is, but as you walk back into your school
You hear your band director broke a policy rule
But the news of this calamity is only the start of what's so clear
He won't be back after Christmas break to begin the new year
Just this one mistake, this one lapse in judgment that is so critical
Throwing the whole band into confused hurt and it's pitiful
That one man's immature and selfish err in his complete lack of thought
Is now leaving all the adolescents that looked up to him so distraught
So confused, their minds completely torn and left opened up
Some in denial, others in cold hard acceptance and others wanting to throw up
How do they all feel now, with their world of safety so literally torn apart
The walls that they had considered refuge now more a pain in their heart
The pain they alone feel as their director leaves is just the start
As the others in the school, the cruel ones, add them all to their part
Of degradation and self-mutilation, determined to scar others with them
Taking no prisoners, but spending each class to take the time to dis him
Some make a few jokes, but more find it some habitual desire
To continue to make the puns and insults and to continue feeding the fire
Until either the bell rings and the simmering pot cools off just a dash
The five minutes in between classes not enough to keep the trash
Off their backs as the jerks follow them outside of the room
Looking for more broken and throttled hearts to cook and consume
For it is human nature to single out the weak and the weary
And then it seems like superior human intelligence must just be a theory
For any sane and caring mind would take the time to understand
Instead of spending the day throwing others feelings in a trash can
I sit back and I feel the pain, the numbing slaughter of what they held onto
And it forces me to sit back and apologize for the way they all taunt you
For I am part of it as I am a member of this impossible to understand species
Who one day show love and compassion, then the very next day throw feces
Is this what intelligence is? Is this really what having the smarter mind means
That it enables all of us to look down on others and spew stuff that's obscene
In nature and holds a desire to only hurt, sting and break the spirits
Of those already broken and hurting and now they have to hear it
From these people who don't, can't and refuse to care and listen
Sitting two seats back in math class spending their whole time dissing
On the guy you trusted, on the one you thought you so very well knew
Now wary of everyone after what the band director did to you
Who do you trust now? If he can't be trusted, then who should it be
You knew him as your director for a half a year plus another three
He was someone who was there every day, someone to be trusted
All until the day the cops came, he resigned and was subsequently busted
For having inappropriate relationships with what used to be his student
The one thing after our softball coach that you just knew he couldn't
Possibly do because he would know how much it hurt our school
When the last guy was caught for child pornography, made us look like fools
But the unthinkable happened and now you and your band friends get to
Pick up all the pieces he shattered when he chose to risk it all and then left you
It's a crime within another one, for he left a mark on all of your lives
I just pray and hope, my little sister, that the pain soon subsides
For though it is messed up and totally should not have happened at all
Understand this had nothing to do with you and was purely his fall
He not only put his career and his passion out there to dry
But he left you and about fifty others to sit back in confusion and ask why
Neither one of us could have envisioned this; I remember when he first came
He seemed like a bright guy, one whose heart for music was a passionate flame
Knowing what he did to you makes me glad I wasn't there at the time
Because I would have decked the very first jerk I heard finish his very first line
I would have done it because I know how much playing the clarinet meant
And how much you were enjoying all the huge places you had been sent
Huge performances, in front of people numbering hundreds, if not thousands
Tasting the fun I had in choir as you proudly perform to the crowds and
Are washed away in joy and pride as the months of hard work come together
Playing your silver instrument, thoughts of such utter betrayal never
Crossing your mind as you concentrate on pleasing the crowd and yourself
The fun you find in music and the band always adding to the wealth
Of what you always walked into in the morning, every day you left Mom's car
Traveling down that short little hill, ready to play your clarinet like the star
You totally are, understand and know it was hit fault and had nothing to do
With you, he screwed up, but that was his choice, and he knew
You didn't, you couldn't have, he was the player of instruments you want to be
And knowing how good you are at what you do, it's quite plain to see
That you have the skills and the drive to be anything you want in a career
Just buck up, drive on, as my sergeant would say, and get back in gear
Betrayal hurts, but it is not something that you can't get back up from
Don't let his decision mar your passion, learn from it and grow some
More as the wonderful person and quite fortunately for me, the sister you are
He's off track, but you're still on the green, now putt it in and score under par
Remember that I'm always there for you and I won't hesitate to sacrifice
Any time that you need to talk, even if sometimes we don't talk so nice
Understand that it's all just in fun, and that I respect you as your own individual
You're beautiful just being yourself; always loved how your laughter is mutual
Your constant humor and the smile always plastered on your face
To see one man's utter stupidity to take it away in any sector is a disgrace
You are my sister, nearly seventeen years old, dear God, I am so very proud
To simply look at you and call you my sister so obnoxiously loud
I love how much you care about the others around you, it reminds me of me
How we both feel the pain the others go through, it's plain to see
That I was blessed by the power that lives in the world above
To have you around as a sister to grow with, have fun being around and love
Don't ever shortchange yourself, always go for broke, shoot for the stars
Whether you choose to fly airplanes, join the peace corps or read music off bars
I'll be there to support you, no matter what decision you make
Just be yourself and you'll succeed in anything, never be a fake
Happy upcoming birthday, my dear little sister, though I'm not so sure about little
I remember you in kindergarden, back when both our lives were so simple
But time has passed and I'm staring at you asking myself how you're so old
Just enjoy life, be yourself and you'll see how much you won't notice the cold