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Burdens Of A Genius

An Biographic Novel

By: Taiku Altergrund

Hello my readers! This is Taiku Altergrund here to give you The full story of a man I hold dear to my heart. I am not going to weave some fancy tale . No, nothing that easy to deal with. I am here to tell you a far more heart tearing, soul breaking, and painful story of my life, sins, and salvation. You may wonder what leads a man to commit unspeakable and unforgivable actions, and I am here to tell you in, as full of detail that I can emotionally stand to show you, what my life was like before I joined the furry community back in 2010.

Now let Kevin take the wheel for this story:

I was born in a small town in a Rural state in the United States of America. Born to a sinner who bore my existence because of a night of sinful passion. She was not raped, nor did she know the truth about the man who gave me life. She gave me a name of honor. Kevin Joseph Drewett. Kevin, my first name, was the first name of a true friend of my mother who took his on life. No one knew the pain he felt more then my mother and she has always regretted not being able to save him. Joseph, my middle name, is that of my grandfather, and the man whom I have chosen to make into my "dad". Last but not least, Drewett, my last name, which is the legal last name of the monster who gave life to my sister and brother, who both deserved a better man to be their father.

The exact time I took my first breath was 5:17 am May 17, 1990. Nine months later, my mother found me in my crib not breathing with a fever of well over 102 degrees Fahrenheit. Scared beyond any reason, she rushed me to the hospital. Shortly there after my mother gave all 3 of us kids up to foster care. Because of her willingness to admit inadequacy as a parent, Child Protective Services gave her the power and privilege to pick our fist foster parents, or so I am told. Lola and Daniel Rudnick, my grand parents were selected as my first and only foster family. They lived in a small town of around 500 people in the north west corner of the state I was born in. A mere hour from them my mother, it was easy for us to see each other, and as I found out upon turning 18 because of my existence my mother chose not to kill herself. She had been unable to sleep and her doctor had perscriped a 1 month trial of sleeping pills. She was standing in her room a hand full of pills and a bottle of booze in hand. Ready to take her life by sleeping away forever, she looked around one last time and saw the smiling faces of my siblings and I. Knowing she could not die knowing the pain it would cause everyone in the family, she flushed the pills down the toilet and dumped the liquor down the drain. This was the turning point that would later lead to the worst 6 years of my life!

Living with my grandparents taught me a lot about the world, chivalry, manners, performance, and culinary arts. Everyday to help educate me and my siblings my grandfather would have each of us read 1 page in a dictionary and 3 pages from his encyclopedia set. Advancing us in grade level by 4-5 years. My brother had been place in AP classes as far ahead as 3 years; however, the state stepped in and placed him on medications once they realized he was "autistic." I still believe that they did this to stifle his mind, and make sure that he was no threat to the government. I know you think that is paranoid, but when you look at the drugs he had to take, the evidence is rather compelling. My brother was up for AP chemistry in the third grade. Do that math. I was prevented from entering the second grade and forced to go to head start. Half was through that first year of head start, my mother received custody of my sister and I back from the state. My brother, unfortunately was kept in foster-care, and I never really knew what happened to him until I was a freshmen in high school. My sister was placed on RIDDILIN, a drug used to stagnate the though process of the mind to enhance clarity of thought, for ADHD even though she was an amazing tailor and brilliant poet. I dodged the bullet by acting abnormally normal because of the acting training I got from my grandmother.

May good memories came from my time there, and I even photographically remember my first one. I was lost in the Rhubarb patch, and I was crying. Not knowing where to go in sat and howled for 5 minutes till my Grandfather found me and told me everything was alright "Daddy is here." I also remember a dog named Goldie. A golden retriever and lab cross she was a lovely dog. Protective and loyal. We had to give her up when she grew to old and I was to young to understand at the time but my grand father had probably put her down. Life was beautiful until I returned to my mom.

Once back with my mother I began interacting with the children in my head start class. One of which was named Shane. We were friends for a short time until I found out that he was involved with drugs. My refusal to take the drugs targeted me for bullying from that day on, and in the second grade I would have my first of many physical beatings to follow. That day was truly painful, bruises that ran 1-2 inches deep, depressions of the abdomen and rib cage, and lacerations to the forearms and upper back from resisting. In December of that year, I would the first of only 2 instances of broken bones in my body. It was during a boyscout bowling party, I had been outside to long and my body was still weak and brittle from the cold. A bully crept up behind me and scarred the piss out of me causing me to drob the bowling ball (8 lbs by the way) on my thumbs breaking them at the growth point.

In the third grade I met a teacher who cared about my pain. Her name was Mrs. Scheafer, god rest her soul. Having been my older brother's third grade teacher (after being pulled back 3 grade levels), she knew what I was going though and did everything in her power to help me cope with it. I was top of the class in all but English, due to several outstanding circumstances. I learned to play chess from here and began mastering the game from my Uncle Bucky. That year she retired from teaching because of the location to which she was going to be transferred. On the last day of school, on my way home, I saw another kid being bullied. I stepped up for her. Her name was Lisa. African American with the purest green eyes you would ever find on a human. I told the bullies to back off or else. Pulling out knives I knew I was going to get hurt if I stayed, but I chose to save her life. One of the bullies said, "Look we are taking what this bitch owes us in blood, unless you are paying for her?" I said nothing to them. Lunging for the girl with a blade, they tried to kill her. I threw my hand in the way of the blade and took a stab wound to the back of my right hand. This severed the tendons of my right pinky and destroyed my ability to play the piano forever. I told them I would protect her with my life. They stabbed me once more in the chest, and the to finish me off, pulled out a 9mm pistol and shot me in the gut. I do not know how I lived through it, but all I remember is having never bled a drop of blood that whole encounter. When I was still standing and fighting back, the bullies shoved me infront of a moving semi truck. I splattered allover the pavement, and stood once again saying, "I WILL NOT LET YOU HARM HER!" They backed off at that point and I returned home never telling my mother what happened. This was not the last time attempts on my life would be made. Over the next 2 years I would be stabbed five more times and shot twice more. Many of the days are blacked out to my memory for photographic retelling, but I know what happened all to well. There were two persona I created back in those dark times. One was named Roger, this ugly little Mexican boy, and a self defense mindset I later named Nivek. Nivek was strong physically, willful, determined to teach bullies a lesson but at any cost. There were two times I could not even recall what happened, but I know something horrible occurred those times because Nivek said, "You never need to deal with <insert person's name here> again!" I later drew my own conclusions about the unforgivable nature of what he had done. I decided at that point that I would be the angle I did not have, the person to rise above bullying, and to be a person worth remembering to anyone I could. With my soul forfeit to the sins of Nivek, I could not stop my going to hell.

In the forth grade I got a teacher who did not give a rats ass about me or anyone else. Often denying me my class aid, and forcing me do to extra homework. I got an F in every single class that year, except in the third quarter. Mrs. Houshka, had to substitute for my normal teacher because he needed surgery. Offering real help, and caring advice, my grades went from F's to straight A's. There was not a dry eye when she told us she had to leave. We wanted her to stay forever because we all hated that demon of a teacher we had dealt with in the first semester. Upon his return we all got dissed and shunned like normal, and all nearly failed that year. Three days after summer vacation started I raced home for my dear life. Taking a turn in an alley way I skidded out of control and nearly tore out my kneecap from the abrasion I took. Grinding my elbow down to bone I have yet to regrow that muscle tissue back. I would tell you more about my fourth grade life, but It was mostly a black blur of pain.

Everyday I would be harassed, beaten down, forced into hiding, or even cut. When I told people what was going on they all said, "I did not see this happen." When I would fight back I would get punished for saving lives or protecting my own. Endless battering,drove me to insanity and back many a times. I would often find myself talking in code to myself just to cope with the pain. Nivek fed on this and his grip over my mind grew stronger every day. If you have ever lost a child, mom, dad, or grandparent you know the pain I felt every single day of my child hood since I got placed back with my mother. I know you must be thinking what kind of mother would force her child in to such situations and do nothing to stop it? Right? Well let me tell you this. Have you ever seen something bad happen and know you had no power to stop it. My grandparents did everything they could to help the police convict my assaulter. My mother made all efforts to ensure I was safe in my home, and that I was only vulnerable at school.

It would not be until the end of the fifth grade when I would finally leave that hell hole of a town, and start a new life.

The Fifth grade was the worst year of my life. It was an unrelenting torrent of pain and suffering the likes of which has only ever been seen in book detailing the ultimate ways to torture a person. If you ever though that being skinned alive would be bad, what I was going through was worse then that Every...Single...Day! Mrs. Hanson, my teacher for that year, loved my mind, and often tried to get me into high school classes. She also knew my pain and suffering, though she could not console me. Once a week I would return from recess with bruises on my ribs, and arms, and she would would tell me that she would do what she could to help. This was actually very reassuring, once she actually paid for my School field trip to a science museum. It as 150 dollars to go and Mrs. Hanson knew that missing it would shatter what was left my already broken mind. GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I learned more in that one day then I had in the last 5 years, and I knew that day I wanted to be a technology specialists, jet pilot, or a teacher. I made my first loyal friend that day. Mathew was his name. He never abandoned me in my darkest times.

Sadly though he was taken out of school. This send me into a spiraling depression that lead me to attempt to end my life. First was when I jumped into traffic. Struck and ran over, but not even injured. Second, jumping off a 3 story building. Not a scratch. Third, stabbed. Bled, but not enough. Fourth, and final attempt I had a knife to my throat when my mother walked in the door. I was in tears as I held the blade. Seeing my mother cry mad me drop the blade to the floor. I could not send my mother through the same pain I felt. I would never forgive my self for it. My sister attempted two day later. Resorting to desperate means. It tapped into more mystical powers, I used them to scramble her mind and rewrite her memory. I made her believe she had never been bullied and that I was the only victim. This drove her into pure madness. A madness that saved her life, but damned my soul to burn in hell.

It was at this time that my mother finally pulled us out of that world of suffering, and moved up to My current home Grand Forks, North Dakota. Three days later, on September 11th, 2001, the world trade centers fell. Frightened for our lives my mother risked her job to comfort us. Can you blame her?

For the next couple of years I attended therapy with a Neal Tepper. He helped me take back control of my mind and subdue Nivek. I chose to end therapy when it was no longer providing me any benefit. In those years I had made friends. Good ones too, and in time learned to trust, laugh, and eventually love once again. A life like the on had escaped, which had given me reoccurring nightmares, would have made most people sour and cold to the world unable to grow as a person or be able to even rise out of depression. Problem was the state had placed me on medication of post traumatic ANXIETY disorder. Middle school and high school were just progressively getting better int eh world and working to overcome my past. It would not be till my Junior year of high school that the nightmares would stop.

My very first job was a Hardee's for 7 days but I was fired when I could not preform my job and I see that now. Second Job lasted till I walked out on them fro Harassment in the work place. This job bought me my first computer. I LOVED THAT THING!

Some of my most memorable times in high school were in order from 10th best to my #1 memory:

10: Frau Merrit und Wolf's classes

9: When I got off my medications

8: When I got into Chemistry Class

7: When I got into Calculus

6: Passing My Jr English class despite the best efforts of the teacher.

5: Literature Class in general

4: Seeing Some one solve a rubix cube in 1 min 34 seconds.

3: Passing Senior comp class.

2: Graduating!

1: Meeting my true love Carol Gaulster. If you are reading this. I have and always will love you with all my heart. I know you deserve better then me. I have nothing but respect for you, and I wish you all the best in the life you chose to lead. I will not chase you in any form. All I know of you is what I hear from your grandma when I visit her every now and again. Please know you broke my heart though. When you broke my heart, I thought I had lost the will to love again, but I found some one just like you. He loves me the way you never chose to love me. No one needs a stalker. So, this is goodbye to you.

I still had a share of bullies but none as mortifying as the one from my early youth. I would shrug them off more of then then not but once in a while they would strike a chord and I would react. Normally this involved bashing my mother or another family member. For the most part high school went well and I have to say that I really enjoyed it.

Once I graduated I moved in with an old friend who I had met as Roger, as well as making a couple more new friends. She and I hit it off as if to have never lost a step, and we are currently living, but not sleeping, together. In the three months I lived with here I went through hell. Demon dog, bad finances, and a manager that soured milk when she walked in a room made me depressed once more. SO I chose to go to the Quentin N Burdick Job corp center.

My six month stay there taught me that I was not the only person to escape from hell, and everyone I lived with there were nothing other then helpful. I counseled them while they taught me that was probably the strongest among them. Upon graduating, I Returned to Grand forks with a place of my own, Job, and a better grasp of my emotions. I have no regrets from job corp and IF ANYONE from there is reading this, "Thanks for being there for me."

Over the course of 2010 I had trouble holding down a job, and racked up some bad rep with a couple of companies. I did get a job at the local Wal-mart in which I got some great stories. All good things must come to an end though, as I was forced to resign my position this last August, and have been unemployed since.

Now you know a brief version of my life's story.