FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Romari Susi is a dirty old wolf, the emperor of a mighty nation, and the joint-CEO of a massive worldwide corporation; he's well respected, and is closeted from the rest of the world, though it's a poorly kept secret at best. He shares his bed with his straight-laced secretary, co-CEO, and mate Neal, who is a flying fox (AKA, a fruit bat). Luckily for their domestic tranquility, Neal is rather open to his mate's wide-ranging romantic exploits.

Occasionally joining them in their adventures is the captain of their imperial guard, a raccoon named Taxas.

************************************************************************

THE ENEMY OF MY ENEMY

************************************************************************

Imperial Sovereign Romari:"What are you doing, Neal? I thought you were catching up on your paperwork, not serving food at my party."

Imperial Assistant Neal: *Looks around to ensure that they aren't overheard by anyone except the captain of the imperial guard* "To tell you the truth, sir, I'm playing a bit of a mean-spirited deception. A prank, if you will."

Romari:"Prank? What kind of prank?"

Neal:"I overheard the dignitary from Armetia, Minister Cache, saying some very unflattering things about you today while he was beating one of our stableboys. It turns out he caught the young man in an intimate moment with his manservant. He's been imbibing often while staying in the palace, and is rather free with both the lash and his tongue when he's drunk. His diplomatic immunity makes dealing with him on legal terms rather...touchy; this is one of the ways I devised for teaching him a lesson."

Romari:"Not that I don't love fudge, but what does that have to do with the tray of it you're toting around?"

Neal:"It's packed with dairy, sir, and he's both rather addicted to chocolate and highly lactose intolerant. I plan on telling him that it's dairy-free so he'll shame himself explosively in front of everyone here. It serves him right for what he did."

Romari: *Takes a large amount of fudge for himself and pops a piece into his muzzle* "Good thinking, Neal. Make sure he eats several pieces. *He motions to the raccoon* And take Captain Taxas here with you, in case he mistakes your face for a punching bag."

Neal:"Yes sir. Thank you very much for your concern."

Captain of the Guard Taxas:"May I have some fudge, Secretary? I have to admit to a certain weakness for it myself."

Neal: *Whispers* "Oh, I wouldn't if I were you. You won't like this particular batch."

Taxas: *Eyes the plate warily* "Why not?"

Neal:"Let's just say you'll find life...unpleasant for a while."

Taxas:"Neal, you just served some to the emperor! If that's poisoned, you'll hang!"

Neal:"It's not poisoned, Captain. It's perfectly safe. It's just not quite what I told him it was."

Taxas:"Why did you lie to His Excellency? And what's in it?"

Neal:"Oh, I told him the truth, Captain Taxas, just not all of it. Minister Cache is a lactose intolerant buffoon and a drunken lout, and this fudge is full of dairy. What I didn't tell him is who I'm really playing the prank on. His Imperial Majesty has been even randier than normal of late, and I haven't gotten any work done in nearly a week. The primary ingredient in this fudge is Industrial Strength ExplosaLax; it's a brand of flavorless laxative used for large circus and farm animals with emergency digestive obstructions. With the half-pound of it he's devouring, the emperor will be stuck in the privy for the next four days at least, starting in about five minutes. Maybe this way I can get caught up with everything I've missed. If he says anything, I'll say it was time for his annual toxin cleansing."

Taxas: *Low whistle* "Sneaky bastard. I'm just glad you're not upset at me for what happened in your bedroom the other night. Remind me to take pains never to annoy you, Secretary. I don't want you as my enemy."

Neal:"Take pains never to annoy me, Captain. You don't want me as your enemy."

Taxas:"Thanks. I'll remember that."

************************************************************************

For a comprehensive list of all of them, go here: http://www.old.sofurry.com/page/318694/user.