Ocean Depths part 8
#8 of Ocean Depths
Ocean Depths, part 8
Upstream Trips through unsteady Seas
By Roofles
Despair. A dull aching pain that dug into Lucas's heart. No matter how much he scrubbed, soaped or washed that smell still clung to him. Reminding him of it all. How he was such an idiot, how no matter what kind of brave face he put on, inside he was tarring apart. He lost everyone he knew and cared about when he came here. He lost the few friends he had made. And now he was going to lose the ones he had just made. No family. No friends. All alone. Again.
He was an idiot to think otherwise. He was stupid. Selfish. Arrogant... Arrogant to think that things could possible work out, that life would just LET him be happy for a change. No matter how hard he worked or how hard he tried it always ended up the same. His life always ended up in the gutters. A stagnate putrefying waste pit of self-remorse. Self-loathing. Self-regret.
These thoughts only egged him on as he scrubbed trying to wipe away the past itself.
The steel wool in his hand drew blood, cutting his arm as he scrubbed, the sharp pain making him drop the wired mesh. Lucas looked down at his arm, watching the red droplet staining the clear water with its red hew, tarnishing its once cleansing purity. Just watching the blood drip down his wrist made his knees weak. Unable to keep his own footing as he stumbled back, sitting at the edge of the tub, water raining down on him from above. All he could do was stare down at his arm thinking of how stupid this all was.
He had used dozen of different scented shampoos and body washes. All had just made the matter worst, the different fragrances combining into an almost overwhelming concoction of stale rotten fruit. All he could do was sit there in the ever steadily growing colder shower, hoping beyond hope that it would at least wash the scented suds from him. Wash him away from this world.
A familiar wrapping of knuckles against the door announced Carlson's presence, the large otter peeking in on him. "Everything alright in here?" He asked only loud enough to be heard over the shower.
"Fine," Lucas said back, having to repeat himself realizing he had only mumbled before. "I'll be out in a bit."
"It was 'a bit', half an hour ago." Carlson pressed opening the door a bit more. His ears were folded back, only the tip of his muzzle peeking through. "D-do you need a paw? I got two to spare!" He said trying to lighten the mood, sticking his hands in wiggling his webbed fingers.
Lucas didn't even bother replying. Just holding his knees tighter to his chest, keeping silent. This was a mistake he soon came to regret, the already nervous otter taking his silence for a plea for help. It didn't take long for those sapphire blues to notice the blood still trickling down his arm, how he was holding himself and even the bloodshot eyes that looked up at him.
Lucas opened his mouth to protest but the otter had already ripped the screen open, crawling inside. "Fuck, Lucas what happened?" He whined, a paw touching his arm.
"I-it just wouldn't come off," Lucas could already feel the tears running down his face, the dam inside of him already boiling over, as emotions began to flood his system. "It wouldn't come off."
"You were skunked, of course it won't just come off." Carlson soothed as he turned off the now freezing water. "It takes time," he brushed the back of his paw against his face.
"Why won't it come off?" He pleaded looking at his hands. "No matter how much I scrubbed it just won't come off!" His fingers were pruned, raw and chafing at the tight grip he had been holding the steel wool with.
"It will," Carlson consoled, both his paws cupping his cheeks. He rested his forehead against him. "It'll be ok."
Lucas was the first to hug the other. The dam finally breaking as everything began to pour out. An emotional mess of incoherent gibberish as he cried against his shoulder. Everything from the past months all coming back to him in full. Moving here cutting his ties from his family, the daily chore of searching for a job in an unfamiliar city knowing no one, finally meeting people, getting a job, making friends. Finding someone... Breaking up, moving into an apartment complex, bumping into an otter every other day, getting locked out of his own apartment, ending up in bed with a fur, losing his friends and having only one person left in his life he could possible count on. That one person being his only safety line from falling into complete and utter despair.
Carlson returned the hug fully, rubbing his cheek against his. Those webbed fingers tightening on his back as he pulled him up against him. Carlson pressed against him even tighter, just feeling him against him that warm body and heart beating along with his own. Feeling those delicate hands on his back, his face against his shoulder and even with that smell in the air he never could be happier than to be here now with him. To be able to be with him here in his time of need and be the support that he needed. It felt good to be needed.
Lucas tightened his grip, collapsing against him as the tears ran freely...
It didn't take long for the water works to wrap up, Lucas repeatedly apologizing about the whole thing. Carlson just waved it off giving a helping paw to dry him off, a little too handsy in some areas. "Hands, hands!" Lucas would protest swiping the paw away trying to snag the towel from him, but that playful smile would cross his face innocently as he'd go back to his work. "You have problems, my friend."
"Of course, I'm the one with the problems." Carlson said sweetly rubbing his back again, squeezing his ass along the way.
Lucas jumped pulling away, the otter easily closing the distance again. "This is awkward enough without you molesting me, naked and all," Lucas protested.
Carlson grinned giving him the towel.
"Thank you," Lucas snatched the towel drying his hair and face, pulling it down over his chest he caught the otter already partially undressed. "What are you doing?"
"It's awkward cause you're the only one naked, right? So..." Carlson said as he unbuttoned his shorts. "Logically if I remedied that, then you wouldn't be awkward."
"This would not be less awkward!" Lucas wrapped the towel around his waist before grabbing his paws that had hooked themselves in his drawers.
"I was just trying to make you feel better," Carlson whined , his eyes sparkling in the light though with a devilish glean.
Lucas rolled her eyes as he took his leave down the hall, "whatever floats your boat." He called back to him. He didn't bother shutting his bed room door as he lay back on his bed looking up at the ceiling trying to sort the thoughts floating around inside of him.
He had made a fool of himself. And at the same time couldn't help but feel happy that he wasn't going to be alone after all of this. At least one soul would be left with him through the hell that was his life. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, or how he was going to do it. Thoughts raking his head as they swirled around in a chaotic vortex of disarray and confusion inside of him.
Those thoughts coming into focus and clarity as his eyes drifted down to the naked otter in the doorway.
"You look ridiculous." Lucas said with a smile.
"Ouch, so hurtful, so mean, so cruel." The otter held his chest wounded by the remark, teetering over to the bed and falling face first onto it. "Wounded!" He cried rolling over next to him, nosing him with his muzzle. "You doin' better?"
Lucas pushed the otter away from him with a laugh. "Your whiskers tickle, you jackass. I'm fine, really." He rubbed his cheek several times where they had brushed.
"Is that so?" A cruel smile crossed the otters muzzle as he climbed up on him beginning to relentlessly rub his cheeks against his chest, neck and face.
The bristly whiskers tracing and scratching his skin making him laugh. The large otter easily able to hold his arms back above his head as he rubbed his muzzle along him, preventing any attempt at saving himself.
"S-stop, haha, you're an ass," Lucas laughed trying to kick his legs against him but the otter had straddled his waist. The physical difference was obvious and the otter had no inclination to let up anytime soon.
He brushed his muzzle across his cheek one last time before staring down at him. His nose wrinkled up still but his eyes didn't show any sign that he minded enough to leave. Lucas looked back at him.
Lucas noted that otter above him had a strong jaw line, something that wasn't common for a fur. The dark brown furry muzzle was speckled with black dots along the muzzle lining where the whiskers connected, the bottom tip of that muzzle with a fluffy patch of untrimmed fur. That wet wrinkled black nose touching his own, sapphire blue eyes watching him. Beady ears poking through that curly lighter brown hair, a tangled jungle on his head. Broad shoulders, with a long lithe frame of tone muscle. That rich dark brown, double layer fur covering his entire body. An otter true and true, even down to that rudder like tail. A man so different from him. A man that he was steadily been growing very fond of.
His shoulders pressed down, his muzzle ever closer, that hot humid breath washing over his face.
Lucas chest tightened his throat growing dry. Those paws holding his arms glided upwards, holding onto his hands, gripping them tightly in his nervous state.
"Lucas," Carlson said his breath coming in ragged. "I just wanted to tell you," he licked his lips his own throat growing dry, the words getting caught in his throat. "I just," he repeated unable to finish.
Lucas wasn't sure what to say. He tightened his grip on those paws. Holding them for support as if he were about to fall. "Carl," he breathed trying to think of anything to say, anything would be better than nothing. "You're," he held his breath trying to come up with anything else to say.
His own name rang in his ears, Carlson couldn't help but smile. He nuzzled against his cheek, letting go of his hands, hugging him, pressing his muzzle against his cheek. His lips touching his cheek. He shifted his weight pressed against him, letting out a soft breath, kissing the side of his lips. He pulled back just enough to be able to look down at him. Lucas wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him down. Their lips brushing softly before sealing tightly together.
Carlson kissed him, and kissed him. His lips parting breathing hotly, kissing him again. He licked his cheek and kissed him, rubbing his paws up his chest, trailing his blunt claws down and across his belly rubbing his happy trail, kissing him again. He huffed pressing against him again sealing their lips shut. Pulling away only long enough to take a breath, nuzzling and licking his chest the second after.
"Lucas, I've always wanted-," the otter shifted against him nuzzling his cheek, his chin and licking his neck making the man next to him groan softly.
"I'm still skunked," Lucas said rubbing his cheek and scratching his neck.
"I know," the otters fur ruffled up. "If I ever find them..."
"Carlson," Lucas said rolling the otter to his side and leaning against him kissing him once more. "Don't ruin the moment."