Fatso
#1 of Fatso
*"Just two pounds!" Julien angrily threw his paws up into the air as he kicked the electric scale with his bare feet. A scraping sound echoed throughout the bathroom as the scale scooted across the black-and-white tile floor. The lynx studied himself once again in the mirror over the sink and sighed. "I'm never going to get in shape," he thought silently. He turned sideways and grimaced as he viewed his bulging gut sticking out in front of him. *
*Just five years ago, Julien had been a different person. His senior year, he played every team sport (and excelled at them, too). Standing at a hulking six-feet-six-inches tall and two-hundred-fifty pounds of muscle ensured that a steady stream of eager girls and guys were always sneaking a peak at the lynx. *
Five years later and fifty pounds heavier, all of that muscle had softened and settled. Julien was an artist now. One of many graphic artists at one of many "hip" offices downtown. They designed games for mobile devices and tablets, and Julien drew up mocks for the menus and loading screens. It was a pretty easy and laid back job. A sign proclaiming their dress code was proudly hanging on the door to the employee lounge: "Don't show up looking like shit". That's it. Just don't show up looking like shit, and anything else goes. Most of Julien's peers showed up in whatever they'd crawled out of bed wearing, although there were a few who went to the trouble of throwing on an unironed button-up dress shirt.
Julien pulled his grey carpenter pants over his white-and-brown-striped boxers before sliding on his clay-colored bowling shirt and snatching his glasses off of the sink. He stepped out of the bathroom just in time to see Lincoln, his roommate, walking out of his bedroom. Lincoln, an alligator, weighed half as much as Julien. Sure, he wasn't quite as tall as Julien; either, at just a hair under six feet. But still, Lincoln was in great shape. Julien looked his roommate up and down as they passed each other in the living room. His dark green scales faded to a light olive color the closer they got to his midsection. Lincoln's slender body was a collection of tight and firm curves, showcasing his routinely worked-on chest, arms, tummy, and (he noticed as he tried not too hard to stare at the alligator's plaid pajama bottoms) a round and perky butt.
"Hey buddy," Lincoln started, "I heard you in the bathroom earlier." He patted his roommate on the back and clasped his claw on his shoulder. "Two pounds. That's great, man!" He hugged the lynx, and as he leaned back, Julien checked Lincoln's smile for any trace of sarcasm. There was none.
"Thanks," Julien breathed out heavily. "But that's still a long way from my goal. I've got to get rid of this." He grabbed his belly and shook as he frowned. "I know I'll never fit into a size thirty-two like you, but I'd be happy in a thirty-eight." He lowered his head, frustration ringing out in his voice.
"You'll get there, Julien." He hugged the lynx again. "You've been working hard, and watching what you eat. It's just going to take some time."
"I guess..." Julien muttered. He couldn't quite muster up the courage to look Lincoln in the face. He was afraid that he was judging him. Afraid that he was getting the same look that he got from everyone else.
"Hey, don't forget that after work Marlow and I want you to join us for dinner. The new Italian place just down from your office." Lincoln slinked past Julien and into the bathroom, grabbing a fresh towel from the closet. "Hope you saved some hot water for me." The alligator grinned and chuckled as he clicked the door shut. Within seconds, Julien could hear the sounds of water running, followed by the thump-thump-thump of hip hop as Lincoln placed his iPod on the bathroom dock.
The lynx wandered to the sofa. His mind was a blur. It had only been a few minutes before that he was in the shower, himself. He had been working himself up thinking about one of the locals that'd been known to "get around" town. Julien fantasized about this guy often. His crush was Lane, a twinky ferret that always seemed to be everywhere. Game night at Marlow's, and all of the new-to-the-scene gays were always all over Lane. At the club, everyone was pawing at the ferret's shirt and buying him drinks. Julien thought about Lane the entire time he was in the shower, stroking his erection as his fantasies became more sexual. When he was as hard as he was going to get, he hurriedly grabbed the ruler from just outside the shower curtain and pressed it the the base of his shaft. "Arrgh!" he groaned out loud. He was just under five inches long. "I've got to get rid of this damn belly. There's got to be two of three more inches of dick hiding in there!" he grumbled to himself.
When he heard the shower turn off, he snapped back to reality. The memory from just a few minutes earlier was fading, as was his hard-on. He raced into his bedroom and grabbed his car keys. He wanted to be on his way to work before Lincoln was out of the shower. No need to explain why he was just sitting on the couch with a boner to his roommate.
Work went by rather uneventfully for the lynx. They sketched up a few ideas for what he thought was a pretty blatant Asteroids knock-off. They quoted some joke that Julien didn't get from a cartoon that he had missed from the night before. The head of the tech team from down the hall was having a party to celebrate his wife being pregnant, so there was cake and chips and stuff. Julien found it hard to resist, but was able to sate his hunger with a tuna sandwich with olive oil mayonnaise and a small bag of whole grain wheat chips. Twenty minutes after his snack, his stomach wasn't even growling anymore. He finished off another vitamin water and, admittedly, he was starting to feel pretty good about his new diet.
*Half an hour before his shift ended, Julien's phone chirped. Lincoln had texted him the address for the restaurant. *
"just in case you get lost :)" Lincoln had added.
Julien checked himself in the mirror after he parked at the restaurant. He ran the claw of his finger through his parted hair a few times and bared his teeth at his reflection, making sure there was no stray tuna stuck in there. He peeked down at his wristwatch. Right on time, he noticed.
Upon entering the well-lit and open vestibule, Julien was greeted by a short and pudgy wallaby. "Welcome to Albertini's!" the wallaby smiled politely and motioned toward the dining area. "My name is Kudo, and I am your host this evening. Have you called ahead, or would you like to take a seat and look over our wine list while we wait for a table to become available?" The wallaby's spiel was as wooden as his gestures, probably regurgitated several dozen times a day. But his smile was genuine, and he maintained eye contact. Dimples appeared in each chubby cheek as he mouthed the same speech he'd probably given every patron that was seated in the dining room.
Julien responded quicky, "I'm meeting some friends. Lincoln Miller and Marlow Pineda." He watched as the wallaby picked the pen off of his host's stand and twirled it in his paw for a moment before biting on the tip.
*"Ahh, Mr. Miller and Mr. Pineda. They're already seated and waiting for you. Right this way." Julien noticed that Kudo hadn't even looked down at his list. He must have remembered Lincoln and Marlow. The wallaby stepped and turned, looking behind to make sure that Julien was following. He gave another spiel about his wine and soup suggestions, but the lynx was too busy looking around for his friends. As Kudo and Julien approached the table, Marlow spotted them and waved enthusiastically. *
Marlow, a squirrel monkey with creamy white fur, had been dating Lincoln for almost three years now. They were both skinny, charming, and energetic. They had met while bicycling cross-state -- a hobby that they've both done several times before and since meeting each other. They were going in opposite directions, but a flash-flood from out of nowhere had forced them off of the trail and into each others arms until the rain became a drizzle and the drizzle became warming sunlight.
Marlow was wearing tight dark blue jeans and a stylish white shirt. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbow, and his shirt buttons were undone just enough to show off the sharp lines of his sculpted chest. Around his left wrist hung a hastily-tied leather bracelet, and a similar choker adorned his neck.
"Julien! Good to see you!" the monkey gleamed as he stood up to hug the lynx. Lincoln followed suit, giving his roommate a tight squeeze before sitting down.
"Your server will be with you shortly," Kudo began as he turned to walk away, "and if you are in need of anything, feel free to stop any of us. Enjoy your stay at Albertinis!" Kudo's tail jiggled up and down just as much as his rotund frame as he returned to the front of the restaurant.
Julien opened his menu and took a sip of his water. Lincoln and Marlow were telling him about what they'd ordered and asked him about his day. All of that was so far out of his mind right now, though. Just across from them, in a booth with four gay frat boys, was Lane. The ferret didn't notice him watching his every move over his menu. And Julien didn't notice the waiter walk up to the table and ask for everyone's order.
"Greek salad. No feta. No dressing." Julien absent-mindedly responded. Lane was within eyeshot, and Julien didn't want the ferret to see him eating something unhealthy and judging him.
"Julien, you okay?" Lincoln waved his claw in front of the lynx's face and asked. "You just ordered your food with no flavor on it. I understand watching what you eat, but you can't starve yourself..." The alligator followed Julien's gaze to the table across, and realized what was going on. "Hey, Julien," Lincoln grasped his friend's forearm, "those guys are jerks. They're drunk and being belligerent. You don't want anything do do with them. Trust me." Sure enough, the chuckles and wavering glasses full of multicolored liquids did paint a pretty vivid picture. All of these guys were trashed, and getting louder and louder. Lane stood up and told a joke, rocking his elbows back and forth and making a goofy face. The others laughed, some holding their paws over their mouths and some leaning forward to grab the table (and perhaps stabilize their composure).
"I know they're jerks," Julien admitted and gulped some more of his water, "but all I want is a skinny young stud to hang off of my arm. It's been a long time, you know."
"Aww..." Marlow leaned in front of Lincoln and placed his hand over Julien's. "Honey, you'll find someone. Trust me. And he'll be the guy of your dreams." Marlow made a point to sound more positive than sympathetic. He didn't want any pity to carry through in his voice, although he knew that that's what Julien was used to.
**"I believe you, I do," Julien responded. "But you two have each other. And you're perfect for each other. It just makes me want what you have." Julien recoiled: "I'm not jealous of you or anything, I just..."
"No explanation needed, buddy." Lincoln's eyes were warm and his smile creased clear across his face.
Julien's thoughts raced again. His mind was vacant when the server brought out their food and walked away. But he quickly composed himself when he saw the group across from him get up. He tried not to stare, but Lane was wearing a really tight t-shirt and...
"Hey, you see something you like, kitty?" Lane asked Julien, whose derailed train of thought was now back on track. The other members of Lane's posse all snickered and whispered under their breaths. "I saw you staring at me, and I was just wondering if you liked what you saw." The ferret's words came out slurred and loud. He teetered on his feet, taking another draw of his red wine.
"Actually..." Julien tried to sound courageous and charismatic, "I do think that you're very sexy. I've seen you around. Maybe the two of us could..."
"Could what?" Lane interrupted, his voice raising in volume again. "You should remember something, guy. When it comes to people like me; you can look but you can't touch, fatso." The ferret wobbled one last time, his glass tipping out nearly all of the dark red wine and spilling it onto Julien's chest. A dark crimson stain streaked down the middle of his clay-colored shirt.
"You piece of fucking..." Lincoln bellowed and jumped out of his chair, claw pointed indignantly at the drunk ferret.
"Just let him go..." Julien stood up and lowered the alligator's arm. Lane and his groupies staggered away slowly, laughing all the way to the exit.
Julien slumped back into his chair, with a defeated thud. Kudo, the wallaby host, hurried over with a wad of hastily-grabbed cloth napkins. "Oh my! Sir, your meal will be on the house tonight. I, and the rest of the staff of Albertini's apologize and hope that this will not reflect badly..."
"It's fine. Seriously," Julien looked up at Kudo and forced a smile. "Don't worry about it. I'm okay."
Kudo placed the napkins on the table and pulled his pen out of his pocket. His paw darted into his apron and he ripped a piece of paper out of an order book. "Look," he rested his heavy elbows on the table, "my uncle's got a dry cleaning place. It's a few town's over, but he does solid work." He scribbled a phone number on the paper and signed the top with loopy cursive letters "Kudo".
"Thanks, but..." Julien started.
"That's my number," Kudo pushed the paper toward the lynx. "You can call me if you need anything. I'll have your clothes cleaned for free." He stood up straight and put his business face back on again. "And don't you dare think that any of you are paying for tonight's meal. If I may assist you further, let me know. I will be preparing you all some desert to go, compliments of... well, compliments of me."
*****
Julien decided to take the long way home that night. He wasn't sure how long he'd been driving, circling the town, lost in thought. By the time he finally started his way toward his apartment, the only lights of the city were the bars and clubs. There was no surprise when his parking spot was taken and he had to take his car down to the next building and walk, all alone, to his front door. He slid in the key and slowly creaked the door open. He knew that Marlow was staying the night and he didn't want to wake them or interrupt whatever it is they were doing. Julien sat on his bed and slumped there, not moving. He picked up his phone and texted his boss "using one of my sick days tomrrow. will be back in on thursday." He tossed and turned throughout his sleep.
Julien didn't even look to see what time it was when he woke up. He just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Trying to blank out the previous day's events from his memory. His ear twitched as he heard a shuffling noise in the living room.
"...self esteem," Julien heard Marlow finish a statement. "I think he's really cute."
"Totally," Lincoln agreed. "I just wish I knew a better way to let him know. I'd even go as far as to say he's more than cute. He's pretty sexy."
Julien grumbled and rolled over in bed. "So even my friends are just fans of Lane's? I just wish..." His thought was cut short as the conversation in the next room continued.
"And that shit-head ferret's going to get what's coming to him," Marlow announced. "If Julien wouldn't have stopped you, you'd have kicked his ass for sure." Julien ambled to his door and leaned against it.
"Yeah," Lincoln laughed and retorted. "And now that Lane's proven what kind of prick he can be, hopefully we'll see more of Julien's cute smile."
"I just hope he's okay..." Marlow added with concern. "He left for work without even saying anything. He's such a sweet guy, he really doesn't deserve this crap." Julien had tears welling up in his eyes.
"I know, Monkey-Man," Lincoln responded and Julien heard the smooch sound of a kiss. "Now come here! We should get going so we can be back by the time Julien is home."
"Okay," Marlow said, his voice growing softer. "Mmm, I love you."
"I love you too, Monkey-Man," Lincoln reciprocated. Julien heard the front door open and close. And then he heard nothing.
*****
Lincoln and Marlow arrived back at the apartment several hours later. They had remembered that they needed sugar, which reminded them they needed coffee, which led them to the conclusion that they should just go ahead and get groceries. Lincoln swung open the front door with his elbow. The alligator and the monkey each had four large bags draped across their arms. Julien was sitting on the couch when they came in. He barely gave them enough time to put the groceries on the counter before he pulled them both in close for a hug.
"You guys," a lump started to form in the lynx's throat. "You're awesome." He arched his back so that he could rest his head on his friends' much lower shoulders.
"Mmm..." Lincoln squeezed back. "You too, Julien. What's all this about?"
"Just wanted you to know." Julien rubbed his friends' arms briskly before letting go. "So, what've you guys got planned for tonight?"
"Movie?" Marlow suggested. "Or we could kill some zombies on Xbox." He hopped over the back of the couch and lay across the cushions.
"That sounds good..." Julien started with a grin. "But first, I'm going to call that bouncy wallaby from last night and see if he's free this weekend."
Lincoln whistled and made an effeminate gesture. He always acts a little girly the day after Marlow stays the night. Julien chuckled and skipped to his room, tail darting back and forth with each step.
*****
"Hello," a familiar voice picked up the phone.
"Hi. Kudo?" Julien asked, rolling around on his bed in anticipation. "My name's Julien. I was at Albtertini's last night and got a stain on my shirt."
"I remember you!" Kudo enthusiastically exclaimed. "The lynx with the really great smile."
"Well, I don't know about that last part, but..." Julien hesitated. "I'd really like to get that stain out of my shirt. And maybe afterward, we could..." Julien felt himself losing confidence.
"How about after, I take you on a date?" Kudo finished.
"I..." Julien pulled the blankets up to his chin, feeling giddy as his face became warm. "I would like that."
"I'll text you the address to my uncle's dry cleaners," the wallaby started. "And after that, it's a date."
"It's a date!" the warmth in Julien's face spread to the rest of his body.
Julien and Kudo talked well into the night; picking a day when they were both off work, asking questions about each other, and then wishing each other good night.
That night was the first peaceful night's sleep that Julien had had in a long time.**