Ocean Depths part 3
#3 of Ocean Depths
Ocean Depths
Chapter 3
By Roofles
The warm water spraying against his front, with that warm body hugging his back was all that warmed the dull ache in his heart. He couldn't deny what he had done or how he felt. Yet the way those skillful paws ran up his stomach, the nails just a breath away from his flesh. How that there wasn't even a sliver of light between the body pressing against him; as those slightly stubby arms held him tightly as if to say that he'd never let him go. Or even how those webbed feet were on his own, how those toes curled between his. That rudder like tail swaying back and forth, every so often bumping into the back of his leg, the perfect counter weight to hold the two up. Was the only thing that kept his mind at bay from the dark thoughts creeping in.
Such was the situation he found himself in as it all dawned on him. How his life could never be the same no matter how much he wanted it. How, even as he realized this, that there was a piece of him that was glad for it. A piece of him that screamed for joy, thanking the world around and shouting, praising the heavens. That this change, this one thing could possible change so many years of his life. So many years creating what he wanted others to see to be the perfect life, all destroyed. Ruined. In one fleeting night. Even as the tears ran down his face, mixing with the water raining down on him, that after it all there wasn't a single part of him that regretted his actions.
And that was his only regret; that he had none for it all.
So he wept. Wept for his loss. For what this all would mean. How the world he had so steadily built all his life would come crashing down around him. And through it all he was happy. Truly for the first time in his life he could say he was happy. Happy to be able to be rid of it all. All those walls he built, the foundation itself...had in the end turned into a prison, shackling him to it. To a way he didn't want to live. A way that would've made his life, every day of his life in the pits of the prison he had built for himself. And all it took for everything to tumble down was for one peg to be placed in the very heart of it all.
The muzzle that brushed his cheek, the whiskers that tickled ever so slightly, those arms that gave him another squeeze, the toes that wiggled between his own and the breath against his neck. That was what it took. One single man to change it all.
He could smell that morning breath, as that muzzle nudged his ear, "the waters getting cold, we really should..." The otter whispered just loud enough to be heard.
Lucas nudged forward. The paws glided past his sides as he was released from the embrace. He turned the knob all the way, turning off the cold water all together. The water warmed up only a little bit. But that was enough for him. For what he wanted to do.
He turned and rested his head against that broad shoulder, running his arms up his long lithe body before holding him close. "Just a little longer," was all he needed to say. Carlson didn't seem to mind, if Lucas had seen his face it wouldn't have even needed to say a thing. How those sparkling blue sapphire's lit up, the way the whiskers straightened becoming stiff, how the sides of his muzzle shot straight up into the biggest grin an otter could give.
It had been the most modest shower he had ever taken in his life. There wasn't anything that had gone on between the two. Just to souls connecting as they held each other in silence. Words were meaningless it seemed. Holding each other was all the two needed...well that was until the cold water began running again. In which the two frantically shampooed each other, scrubbed themselves down and hopping back and forth trying to take turns in the cold spray to wash out the mess they had made on each other. Each having taken the shampoo bottle and squirted as quickly and as much as they could in the timeframe they had. It was nearly a disaster, slipping and sliding as they both nearly fell out of the tub from the slick floor.
The two tripping males looked at each other before both cracking a smile and laughing.
"Ok, next time we won't take an hour shower." Lucas offered one of the spare towels.
Carlson took it, took a sniff of it and handed it back. "That's the one I used the past few days, you use it."
Lucas rolled his eyes, tossing him the other spare clean one. He hesitated before proceeding to dry himself off with the towel. Drying himself off and leaving a faint otter musk behind; kind of counter productive Lucas thought.
Carlson followed suit, neatly working his way down. Stretching his lithe frame as he did his upper torso. This always seemed to take Lucas by surprise. Lucas wasn't exactly short but the otter next to him seemed to tower above him. The slightly stubby legs didn't even seem to lessen his height in the least. The torso was longer than any man's he'd ever seen, covered in that thick downy fur, with a concealed under layer softer than the eye could perceive. Muscular, broad upper body and yet slim and lithe at the same time, with stout legs. It wasn't someone he thought he'd end up with. Or rather he should say someone he'd be sharing the same bathroom with.
That tugging nagging dread was coming back.
This whole thing was beyond words. And yet, as the day dragged on, the fact that it was coming to an end was all too clear to him.
They exchanged a few words as they got breakfast together. Bacon, eggs and toast. The whole time silence fell between them as they made breakfast.
They made coffee, split the eggs and bacon. Buttered the toast and sat down to eat. The distance between the two had seemed to grow in the mere minutes that passed. Even on the other side of the table Lucas could see him slipping away.
"Got work in a bit," Carlson had finally said.
"I should be getting back, need to call the landlord first." Lucas had replied, chewing on a bit of toast.
"Taken care of, the doors unlocked and two spare keys are on the kitchen counter." The otter sipped his coffee, resting on his elbows.
"Oh, ok." The tone was lofty and dry. "Thanks," Lucas added. Carlson seemed to want to get him out as soon as he could. It was fun though. All of this and it wasn't like the first time he had a "connection" that ended right after sex and the knowledge that no further tango would be taken place.
It was something he needed.
That night.
After it all, all he's been through in the past week. But he knew from the beginning it wasn't going to last. It was physical. Just something the two of them needed. That was all. Just something the two bodies had desired. Cardinal urges. That was it, in the end of things...
These thoughts ran through his mind as they parted ways. One last awkward hug between the two. It hadn't been the first time he'd had a night like this. He assumed most went through the same thing. He had just hoped that there was something more to it all. But he was still glad it happened. He had needed it after all. That was all there was to it. So now he could go on. Though even telling himself this a half dozen times he still didn't feel better about it.
The door closed behind him and he tossed his keys onto the counter. The empty silence that followed was deafening. The apartment had never felt so empty before. The warm caress of that morning touch had long since been forgotten in this chill air. This was his life, he had to go on.
"Hey it's Mark! Me and the guys are going out, its Friday man! Time to live a little! Call me! ASAP, don't make me come over there!" The voice on the messaging machine chimed as he dropped the bag of yesterday's laundry on the floor, he had snagged from the bathroom after the morning shower.
He brushed his hands through his hair leaning back against the wall. "It's mum." The next message played. "Your dad and I are going to be in town next weekend. We should get together. Try that little Italian place you love so much." He wanted to toss the machine out the window, pull down the fridge, smash a few plates and take the baseball bat in the umbrella rack and go to town on his apartment. "Hey, Lucas. I'm sorry about the other night, we should talk about-, MESSAGE DELETED." His hand fell next to his side. "End of new messages." The artificial female's voice buzzed throughout the apartment.
Things were going to just get worse if he stayed here. He needed to go out. To drink. To do something.
He rummaged through his bags until he found the old flip phone he still used.
"Hey Mark, its Luc. I'll-huh? Yeah. Ok, see you then." He couldn't help but smile. It'd be nice to have a night out in town.