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A Sterile Grave

I heard the noises of doctors scrambling around me trying to get my attention and asking me questions. All I did was look in the mirror... that fox blinking at me, yet that fox was still me. That fox would just keep reflecting me... mimicking my every move. It just kept looking at me in the mirror, staring at me in confusion. Why wouldn't it leave the mirror? The fox's eyes were starting to tear up, why is it crying? Why was it imitating me? Why won't it show me? Why can't I stop being that fox! Why-

A warm hand interrupted my thoughts. I realized how quiet the room had become, and the doctors' cold latex-clad hands had disappeared. The hand's fingers slowly started moving back and forth, starching my head, next to my ears. The scratching seemed to cloud my mind in bliss, my eyes closing. The scratching seemed to place me into a world with no worry. I tried to push my head into the hand, wanting more, I didn't want it to stop. I heard a soft sob, slightly removing me from my bliss. I opened my eyes to see Mom. Her eyes were tearing up as she kept scratching my head. I tilted my head and whined, I didn't want to see her cry. She started to break down, wrapping her arms around me while tears ran down her face. I wrapped my arms around her in an attempt to comfort her... till reality again was setting in place. I was covered in fur, I did have ears on top of my head, and I did have a muzzle... I was part fox.

I joined Mom in crying; I buried my face into her shoulder. Just the feeling of my tears soaking into my fur brought forth more. I had become something else, something not human. Will I be able to go to school? Or even go outside? Would I be carted off to some government facility to be killed and examined? My thoughts just brought more pain and tears as Mom and me just sat crying.

As we had no more tears to cry, Mom lifted herself and back to her own two feet, her eyes red from tears. One doctor then came in around a curtain that was blocking the door from view. I realized that all the windows had been covered with cloths blocking any view of what was outside the room. "Hello Mr. Morden." I recognized the doctor as the one who gave me the rabies shot. "You have questions most likely, but first I just need to do a few basic tests her-" I was holding him up to the wall by the neck.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME?! WHY THE HELL AM I A FOX?! HOW COME I HAVE FUR?! WHY THE-" I was cut off by three other doctors or male nurses as they ripped me off the doctor and threw me back on the bed. I tried to get them off but they already fastened my arms before I could get even one off. They even fastened my muzzle shut. I tried to escape the restraints yanking on them desperately hoping for one to fail. Each tug that failed to break simply told me to give up. I simply gave up after the minutes of struggling. I saw Mom horrified at what I just did, making feel a bit bad at what I just did. The doctor I pinned had composed himself and had come to the bedside.

"Okay... Jason, I need you to stay calm. Right now, you need to act calm as possible, and refrain from harming anybody, including yourself. If you can, nod yes slowly. I did as he said, my face stuck in anger with the strap around my muzzle. "I'm going to remove the strap around your face. Can you promise not to bite me?" I roll my eyes and nod again. He started loosening the strap, I felt my muzzle freeing up. I felt my now lengthened tongue, which surprisingly I had a good amount of control over, as well as my lips... sort of. I looked around to find Mom but it looked like the doctors took her out of the room. I saw another doctor poke his head around the curtain. The first doctor gave him thumbs up.

"Well, since we already know you can speak, what is your name?"

"Jason Morden." Feeling me talk with a muzzle as strange. It felt like a plank of wood was glued around my mouth.

"Good. What state do you live in currently?"

"Colorado."

"What does 23 times 10 equal?"

"230, and what exactly are you doing with these questions?"

"I guess this shows you are still intelligent. This test was to find out if you still had your mind compared to when you were human and I find questioning why would be a good example other than speaking english. It's quite strange to see you speak I have to admit."

"Thanks... can I get out of these restraints now?"

"Just one more thing..." he reached in his pocket and then put a dead mouse in front of my muzzle. "Tell me what you are feeling and experiencing."

"Well, it's kind of gross... though admittedly appetizing."

"Its been sterilized and cleaned if you're hungry." I sniff it again, and my stomach grumbled in hunger. I open my muzzle slowly and bite down on the mouse, taking it a small portion of the stomach. I started biting on it, which was a bit difficult with lips that wouldn't entirely close. Admittedly, it didn't taste that bad, not good but I could have it as a quick pick me up. I swallowed my bite and saw the mouse's blood falling onto a napkin the doctor seem to place on my chest. I shivered that I actually wanted to finish the eating the rodent. "Well, it's good that foxes aren't prone to eating humans unless there ra- lets continue after your done with the mouse."

He released my wrists and ankles. He placed the mouse in my hand and I continued eating it, kind of like a drumstick. When I finished I tossed it into the trash. "You got a little..." he motioned around his mouth. I used the napkin and saw it blood staining the white. The Doctor continued with asking me with questions, and asking me to move certain my jaw around, and try to move my ears, and finally asks "now wag your tail please."

"Tail?" I turned around and saw a foot and a half long orange bushy tail. I stared at before cautiously touching it. It twitched as I felt it move. I then tried to do as he said and move it. My tail slowly started moving side-to-side, slowly gaining speed. Either from delusion or just something interesting, it made me smile, or what I think a smile form a fox looks like. My tail started waging to match my mood.

I heard the door open, and I smelled food that I knew was from my favorite kitchen, Mom's. She came around the corner holding a Tupperware of Swedish Meatballs and gravy. "I need to make sure you can stomach my food. I'm guessing from that flag behind you that your stomach hasn't changed too much." I didn't care much about the comment as I was drooling from the smell. She opened the box and simply handed it to me. I dove in, biting every piece of meat. Every meatball I saw I essentially dove my face into, snatching it into my mouth. I looked around the box, finding nothing but gravy, which would soon change. I started licking every corner of the container, making sure nothing was left in the container. After making sure every scrap of meat and drop of gravy was gone, I lifted my head out of the Tupperware and handed back to Mom. She looked at me laughed as she produced a napkin from her pocket and started wiping my muzzle as it apparently was covered in gravy.

"I guess that will answer tolerance for human food." The doctor marked down a few notes, then sighted. "I guess since we have done every test but one... I can't believe they require I do this test. Mrs. Morden, may I speak with you outside?" Mom nodded and joined the doctor on the outside. Though my now enlarged ears did not make it hard to overhear the conversation. I stood close to the curtain listening intently. "The courts require I bring in a piece of human flesh to prove he will not attack humans."

"Are you telling me they think that-" "I personally find it ridiculous but the courts do require I do this, but even congress is connected to this and I don't even know when your son will be legally released. " "The courts believe he is just some monster still and I was able to calm him down with just petting his head."

"They could argue mother instinct and your son would not see the light of day. I have to bring in a human arm. We have one thawing currently, and if he starts chewing it... your son..."

"Just bring him the arm and you will see how harmless he is. I know my son better than those shit headed court judges. How is my ex husband doing with stopping those congressmen from putting him in a cage?"

"I thought you would know, but from what the people who are ordering me around tell me the people against your son are pressing he attacked me as he awoke and that he could attack at random, fortunately that is there only that fact and Mr. Morden has test results that Jason is safe for human kind- and here is the arm."

"Why do you have 3 people armed with rifles?"

"They want to make sure that if this comes to pass and they don't want him attacking me as I will be holding the arm, and from the previous outburst they don't want to take chances. Hand me the arm... if he starts biting the arm, run. Though if he attacks one of us... shoot him down."

The door opened, and a vile stench immediately filled my nostrils. The doctor came around the curtain holding the arm out. Blood dropped slowly out of the dead limb onto the floor. My nose cringed as the Doctor drew the arm closer to me, trying to entice me. I backed up clutching my hand around my nose. "Hello Jason, I need to-"

"No I don't want to eat that thing!" I interrupted with a nasal voice "Get out of here! It reeks!"

"How did you-" "I could hear you through the walls. Seriously, GET THAT THING OUT OF HERE!" The doctor handed it to one of the others still hidden behind the curtain. After the arm left, the stench wasn't as bad but still lingered. "Thanks... though you can add heightened senses to the list of symptoms."

"I will add that to the list. You seem a bit more comfortable than a few hours ago."

"Your room has warmed up to me, now that I know I'm not in any danger." "I meant more you are more comfortable in your situation."

"Oh, you mean I'm not mean freaking out anymore about the fur and everything. I honestly don't personally find it that bad anymore. I feel like I should still be freaking out about it but..." I paused, trying to find the words to explain but nothing came. "Never mind... can I get some fresh air?"

"I'll open a window."

"I meant walk around a bit outside. I'm a-"

"I cannot let you leave this room till you are deemed safe, then you will be able to travel through hospital grounds though restrained. After that, then you can walk unrestrained, then you will be released from our custody." "So the judges are that much of dicks focusing all their efforts on making sure I'm a harmless mutt that they can put a leash on."

"Just be glad your father has a good lawyer, he has been stuck in court for the past week on trying to keep you from being in a cage." "Making up for the time he lost when he left my Mom. Wait, how do you know what's happening in court?"

"My bosses keep me informed in order to direct me on what I can't do. I have been restricted from giving medication to you is one. Basically, they are letting the judges tell me how to work."

"So your bosses only care about their image and not-"

"Their job is not to care for patients. Their job is to keep the hospital secure and running. My job is to care and make sure your healthy physically and not mentally unstable. That reminds me, you will be required to have sessions with a psychologist to give a full assessment on your mental state. Your next session will be tomorrow morning here in this room."

"Thanks doctor." As the doctor started to leave, a thought came to Jason's mind. "Doctor? I don't think I know your name."

"Oh it's Dr. Damens."

"Thank you for helping Dr. Damens." "Your welcome."

I lay down onto the bed, careful not to crush my tail, and I started to think once again of my future. My fate was at the hands of the government, and left to my family to fight for me. I can't even defend myself or even have a voice. I'm stuck in this room with no way to leave, just lying here to wait for more tests. I might as well be in a cage anyway. But even if I could leave, if I could just go back home and go on with life it wouldn't fix a thing. People see me as some freak of nature, some monster to shun. That cage may have kept me in, but it kept out more than just a life of rejection.