The Perfect Redneck Diet
Let me introduce my friend Red Neckerson. Tease are all very short and either happened to me or I have actually seen my friends in Appalachia do. With friends like Red I do not need tall tails
Red Neckerson and His Unique Wisdom?
The Perfect Redneck Diet
By Zelda Zebra
I have this friend Red Neckerson. If you over look the truck that I need a ladder to climb into, and his delight in the crudest of all possible humor he is a sweet red ox, but he comes up with the strangest things to tell me, about country living.
Last week I ran into a particularly pleased looking Red ox at the Wall Mart. "You look pleased with yourself. What did the doctor say?
"Pleased? Why I am finer than frog's hair split four ways. This new doctor is one smart lady, not that it should come as a surprise to you, but I can be a mite slow some times."
"No Red that does not come as any surprise to me." I replied looking innocent.
"I meant that you know women can be smart, not that I can be slow." Red pretended to be miffed. At least I think he was pretending.
"Weren't you trying to lose weight? What did she tell you?"
"She said on account of my blood type I am from huntin' and gatherin' stock. And 'cause of that I should eat a lot of red meat and drink bear! I couldn't believe my ears. So I asked was she sure, and she showed me the book it come' from. Well hell I can do that!" Red looked worried for a moment before continuing "Should I haff told her my parents and grandparents and their parents was all farmers?"
"She said I would feel better if I ate the way my ancestors ate, and I would lose some weight but that was a side effect of good eatin'. Imagine that it must be a power filled way to eat just talking about it makes me feel good." Red looked up at the ceiling for just a moment. "Bear is a health food wow that is one smart lady doc and human to boot."
Red continued to chatter happily to himself and anyone else that happened by weather they listened or not as he filled his shopping cart with his new diet. There must be more to this diet than red meat and bear, I thought, but why spoil the moment.