FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

im continueing due to popular demand from people.

~~~~~~~~

just a few months ago... i was inside myself... blameing myself for not relizeing my calling to a friend that lost his life to cancer. when i thought i lost everything, a dragon showed me diffrent. with his help... i formed a new life... with him. and for him, i owe him my life.

you can say... i owe him everything.

as my life moved on... my resoultion was still true. i have learned to celebrate life's grandure... its brilliance... its magnificence...

i am still learing how to communicate to others... other than my mother and my mate. it still might of been a few months, but i still kept away from everyone other than my dragon. even now i still don't talk to anyone other than raiku during the school day.

im currently in my last period chemistry class... one out of the two classes i have with my mate. with our desks together, we listened to the teacher explain what our group project was for today. it was just me and raiku as we looked over the board, the teacher still listing the direction on what to do.

i felt a paw on my leg and i looked over to raiku.

" what is it?" i asked looking at my lover.

"i just want this class to end so the weekend can start." he said with a grin.

i looked over my dragon lover." i know hun... just a little longer"

he smiled. " good..."

and with that the teacher told us what to do for our project.

***

me and raiku got on the afternoon bus. we sat in the back like we always have... but raiku was sitting with me. as soon as i set the bag between my legs on the floor, raiku went for my paw, intwineing his fingers with mine. i gave a light blush.. like i always did... and looked away.

"i have to ask... why are you still so shy?" raiku asked as he looked at me.

i looked at him and responded." i... just am... this was me before i was dead inside...."

he grined " well you dont have to be shy around me alright?"

" i know... its just..." my voice trailed and i looked away.

" c'mere." raiku said as he let go of my paw and pulled me into a side hug. i murred as i rested my head on his collar bone. " you know im here to talk if you ever need anything."

" i know... i just don't want to lose you..."

" you won't lose me... i promise."

" don't keep a prmoise you can't keep... i have seen it before...."

" seen what?"

" the loss of love... people make promises... then they break them... then someone loses the one they love... because of some idoitic and stupid reason..."

" it won't happen to us."

" it happens to EVERYONE." i said as sat up and looked at him. i could see the sadness in his eyes as i took his right paw into both of my paws. " its the truth hun... we can try to delay it as long as we can...but it will eventually get us..."

he nodded his head "i know..."

" then lets make the best of it while we can" i said as i looked down at his paw

"h-hey chitzkoi...?"

i looked back up at him "yes?"

he grew nervous and looked away "n-nevermind"

i tilted my head and continued to look at him... but he continued to look away.

***

i was in my room, doing nothing as i listened to my music through my surround sound. i was lying in my bed as i was thinking on what raiku wanted to say to me before i got off and had to come home.

what did he want to say? why was he nervous? is it something good... or bad? i hope it isn't bad...

i looked out my window.

maybe he is feeling something he never felt before? in the months we have seen each other... since that day we kissed for the first time... the day we acually met when that happened... maybe he feels something deeper... and he is afraid to say it?

"c-chitzkoi?"

i looked at my open door, raiku standing there with a completely nervous stance. he was was messing with his paws as he looked down.

i stood up and padded to him. " whats wrong hun? you act like something is bothering you... have i done something?"

he shook his head " no..."

" then tell me what you can't say."

" thats the problem... i can't say it..."

" is it that bad?" i asked, a whimper comming from my muzzle.

" no... its no bad at all... it just..." he grew quiet again as he looked at me.

" what hun... you can tell me anything."

he padded up to me and embraced my shouders in his paws. he leaned down and connected his muzzle with mine. the kiss was short and he pulled his muzzle from mine. i looked at him, at his eyes, and saw what he wanted to say. it hit me hard, so hard that i could feel my blood pulse through my body.

" r-raiku...?"

"chitzkoi magnavox... i... i love you..."

when the words came out of his muzzle, it stunned me. after all of these months seeing and being with him... this was the first time i heard those words come from his muzzle... and i had never said it to him eather.

i could feel my body wanting to be against his as reality come back to me.

"i love you too raiku hayabusa"

i watched him smile. he hugged me and i hugged him back.

" you don't know how happy i am to hear that from you" he said

" i can say the same thing hun"

we stepped into my room and raiku shut the door with his right foot paw. we went and laid down on my bed. i laid my head on his chest as he held me close with his right arm.

i could feel the lust in my syestem grow as i laid next to him. i could feel my member grow stiff in my sheath as i looked up at him. as i looked into his eyes.... because he was looking down at me as well... i could see the lust in his eyes.

i grew hesataint at the question i wanted to ask... but he asked it for me.

" w-would you... like to try... ummm..." raiku said in a nervous tone.

i nodded " yes.. i woul-"

i was intrupted my a knock on the door, then my mom comming in. " hey chitzkoi... i could use your help for a while, we HAVE to go to my work. i need your help... or i wont get paid for not turning my work in on time... im sorry raiku... but this is important."

" it's okay, i understand ms. magnavox"

" thank you... you can stay as long as you want tomarrow alright... come on chitzkoi" she left my door and i looked at raiku, whimpering.

" its okay love... its just fate telling us now is not the right time for this yet..."

i nodded and he got up, me getting up as well. i stood next to him and hugged him.

" sometime later then alright?" raiku said.

" alright hun"

" i'll see you tomarrow then..."

" you too..." i said as i let go and he began to walk off " hey... raiku...?"

he looked back " yes chitzkoi?"

"i...i love you"

i watched him smile wide " i love you too hun"

and with that he left and i was dragged off to help my mom get paid.

***

a little more than a week later... i was in a depressed state... it was almost easter. oh and raiku did come over the next day... but fate did not promote because no more than an half an hour later when he came over we both were called by his parents to help them with redecorating the whole house... which took ALL day.

anyways... it was near easter... the time when barret died... and i still felt attached to him even though he passed on.

me and raiku were in my room... as always... and we were playing a game. i just stopped playing and streched... because the mood i was in didn't promote me to playing games.

" whats wrong hun?"

" just... alot on my mind."

" barret huh?"

" yeah..."

" if you want... we can go tomarrow and visit him"

" i would like that"

raiku hugged me from behind as i held his forearms in my paws.

***

it was sunday. me and raiku were riding in my mom's car to the cemetery. the drive was long but with riaku to hold me the whole way there... it seemed like only a few minutes.

" chitzkoi... i'll wait here in the car while you go visit him alright?" my mom said

" okay"

we pulled into the cemetery and my mom stopped the car. " take as long as you need" she said as we got out.

raiku was walking next to me as i went to barret's grave. i knew where it was... i didn't need a map or anything... i just knew where it was. it was near the back of this big place... this place full of death...

we soon stopped to a grave stone... a nice one with freshly put flowers around it.

i read the lable... barett laythum...

" it seems some one was here before us" raiku said

" his mom... perhaps" i responded

i kneeled next to the stone and ran my right index finger across the engraving like it was brail.

" hey... barret... long time no see..." i said as i just looked at the gravestone. " it has been a year since i last saw you... i missed you..." tears had began to fill my eyes "... alot... why did it have to happen to you...? why did you have to go!"

tears were falling out of my eyes as memories began to fill my mind.. all good memories. i stood up and just continued to look at the gravestone. raiku hugged me from behind and i cried even harder... it was too much... like it was the year before when i came here to visit him.

riaku turned me around and hugged me in a tight embrace as my tears lightened up. the embrace slowly lightnend up and i turned around to look at the stone again.

" oh... and i have a mate now... a guy... his name is raiku... and he is a lot like you... careing... compassionate... loveing... all the things you used to be... before you left... i would love to see the look on your face... just the fact that I have a boyfriend would of shocked you."

raiku nuzzled my neck. " i promise my life to you that i would never hurt the one you loved. i know he ment a lot to you... and he means alot to me now like he did to you way back then... but i promise this to you... may my soul forever be in hell if i hurt him"

i turned in raiku's arms again and hugged him tightly, tears still flowing from my eyes. " thank you raiku... from me and barret..."

" your welcome" he said as he kissed the top of my head.

i looked back at the grave stone once more before i let go of raiku. " well... i guess this is goodbye for now barret... i'll... see you next year..."

" as will i" raiku said

we padded away from barret's grave... my body feeling like a stone in the river of time... i am slowly pushed by the current of life... and when i reach the end... it's like a waterfall... ending one cycle then starting another at the bottom.

i started a new cycle... when i met raiku... and i feel like... because of him... i feel alive for the first time in a long time.

~~~~~~~~

the next chapter will have what most of you are waiting for... the yiff scene... more to come!