Forever & Always
Here's just a short story I typed up to get away from my other series. It isn't as long as i would have liked it, but it works. This is just meant to be a stand alone story, there probably won't be anymore. Anyways, i hope you enjoy. I was listening to Taylor Swift the entire time i wrote this, and i think it really shows.
Life is full of firsts and lasts. The problem with that is we always think about the firsts, but the lasts always sneak up on us and end up hurting us in one way or another. Firsts are great, whether it be a first date, first kiss, first paycheck, first love, and their all great. But having the tendencies we are all born with, we never think about the lasts. But lasts are inevitable. Last breath, last goodbye, last meal, and most importantly, last kiss. When you fall in love and say hello, you never think that you'll hear goodbye. And when you have a first kiss, you never, ever think that there could be a last kiss. It makes a sad topic to think about, but you know that it is 100% true. Love is a safety net and a barrier. It protects us, but it also keeps us from so many things. In life and love, there are firsts and lasts. For you, I hope that there are more firsts than lasts, and remember this: Lasts in life and love, may in fact not actually be lasts, but just the ending of another chapter. They may actually be the start of a new beginning.
One Year. I can't believe it's been a year. It feels like it's been so much longer. The German Shepherd thought as he walked down the street on the chilly winter air. A thin layer of snow coated the ground, and to anyone else, it would have been a wondrous sight. To Daniel, though, it only brought back unwanted memories and emotions, emotions he had been trying to escape from day one. Daniel quickened his pace, his destination in sight. He paused when he reached the gates of the cemetery, but only for a moment as he soon slowly made his way in. He walked to the very back of the cemetery, stopping only to pull out flowers from inside his jacket. When he finally reached his destination, tears were forming in the corners of his eyes. He knelt down at the headstone and placed the flowers against them. He stood up and spoke, sorrow overwhelming his voice. "Tanner, I've missed you everyday. It's been a year, but it feels like it's been three. I can't stand being here without you. I miss you, and I hope one day we can be together once again." The German Shepherd reached into his coat and pulled out a folded picture. When he unfolded the picture, tears started to flow more freely from his eyes, dripping down his muzzle. The picture was of Daniel and Tanner, who was a silver wolf, with gorgeous blue eyes. Daniel was the run-of-the-mill shepherd, except for his eyes, which were a piercing green. Those green eyes were cloudy with tears as Daniel spoke once again. "Tanner, words cannot describe how much I miss you. I wish you were still here with me, still able to get tangled up in each other's arms. But life has to be so cruel sometimes. I miss you honey, and I'll be with you again someday." Daniel's sobs had subsided, but he still clutched the picture. The shepherd chuckled a little. "I bet you wouldn't even recognize me today. I've been a total mess with out you. I got accepted into Yale though. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be where I am today. I love you Tanner." Daniel stood there for about ten more minutes, reminiscing about the past. When he finally decided to leave, he kissed the picture and put it back in his pocket, slowly trudging out of the cemetery. He returned home, lying on his bed, doing nothing but crying. Why did he have to go out that night? Why wasn't I there with him? If I was, at least we'd still be together. I wouldn't have to deal with the pain of being here without him. He was the best boyfriend I could ever have, the only one I could ever have. His sobs could be heard throughout the house, but no one came to comfort him. No one ever would. His father died in a car accident when he was five, and his mother left him alone when he turned 16. Shortly afterward, he moved in with Tanner, whose parents gave him his grandmother's house. They soon became mates, and when Tanner died, Daniel couldn't bring himself to leave this place. It had too many good memories of him and Tanner to just walk away. Tanner gave him the house and all of his possessions, seeing as both of his parents died of old age and there was no one else he'd rather give them to. None of his relatives wanted anything to do with him, and no one wanted to fight over possessions that they didn't want. Daniel was the only one that wanted anything, and he thankfully got everything. Daniel had no one left in the world, and it made him feel completely and utterly alone. The only thing that could possibly give him comfort in his unstable life was books. He visited the library almost every day, and checked out a new book every time he was there. Tanner had made a list of books that he wanted Daniel to read before he died, and Daniel had finally finished the list. He read every book cover to cover, even if he didn't like some. It was the last thing that Tanner could really ever give him, and something told Daniel he had to read all of those books.
Daniel's sobs soon subsided, but the memories were still fresh in his mind. He remembered all the laughs they shared, but mostly he remembered that tragic night, the night that would change his life. He remembered trying to tell Tanner not to go to the party, and they got in a huge fight over it. Tanner left him standing in the doorway crying. That was the last time he saw that wolf conscious. Daniel stood in that doorway for two hours, hoping Tanner would come back, or at least come home from the party. Daniel had almost gone to bed, but a phone call stopped him, the phone call that would be burned into his mind for the rest of his life. At the time, the whole situation was a blur, but looking back on it, it was all crystal clear. Daniel rushed to the hospital, where he found a battered Tanner lying helplessly in a hospital bed. He cried over his unconscious body for hours, talked to him, asking him for forgiveness until one of the doctors pulled him aside to give him the news that Daniel had dreaded since the beginning. Tanner was currently in a coma, and things didn't really look good. The doctor forced the decision on Daniel to either let Tanner go painlessly or risk him waking up, but being in an unimaginable amount of pain. Daniel never got take make a decision though because right at that moment, Tanner's monitor flat-lined. Daniel felt an instant pain in his gut like he'd just been punched. He ran over to Tanner's side, but nothing could be done. Daniel cried over his body for hours, holding his paw the entire time. When he was finally forced to leave, he went home and almost put a gun to his head. The only thing that stopped him was, surprisingly, the thought of Tanner. He knew that Tanner would be very disappointed in him if he killed himself instead of staying strong. That was the only thing that stopped him from pulling the trigger right there. He lay in bed for days, refusing to eat or really do anything. All he could think about was how much of an asshole he'd been to Tanner, and Daniel blamed himself for his death. Tanner's funeral wasn't much, just a few close friends, no big ceremony. After Tanner was buried, Daniel lied down on his grave and cried again, his unwanted emotions resurfacing. Since then, Daniel had tried to stay isolated from everyone, and for the most part it worked. Tanner's friends had long since stopped talking to him, and there was really only one person that he kept touch with, and that was Tanner's ex-boyfriend. The only reason he was an ex was because they didn't see their relationship going anywhere, so they ended it. No tears were shed; there were no sleepless nights, just a small feeling of emptiness. Then Tanner met Daniel, and they fell head over heels for each other. It had been almost 4 years that they were together, starting at 16 and sadly ending at 20. Daniel was now 21, but he still didn't want to move on. He couldn't. It was too painful.
Daniel decided that the day would be best spent in the bookstore, exploring new books and re-reading old ones. He put on his coat and left the house, making the long cold trek to the library. Daniel never drove anywhere, and his car just sat in the garage, collecting dust. Ever since the accident, he was too afraid to drive anywhere. He almost always walked, and if walking was out of the question, he took the bus. He couldn't stand to think that Tanner's last waking moments were spent in that metal death trap. The car had been repaired since the accident, but only ever driven once, and that was by the mechanic that fixed it. Daniel just let it set in the garage, unable to even look at the thing. He made his way through the winter sidewalks, keeping his head down the entire way. He never saw the black ball of fur approaching him until it was too late. Daniel ran into the mass of fur in front of him and stumbled backwards, almost falling. He looked up at the fur standing in front of him and let out a gasp. Standing in front of him was a black wolf, but most intriguing were his eyes. _Their EXATLY the same as Tanner's! But that can't be. Besides, blue isn't an uncommon eye color. I must miss him so much that I'm trying to find him in this wolf. _The wolf's words snapped him out of his daze.
"I'm so sorry for running into you. I need to watch where I'm going."
"Really, I should be the one that's sorry. I was looking down the entire time." Daniel looked up at the wolf, and caught him smiling at him. Daniel's body filled with warmth, but he instantly pushed it away. I can't even think about this guy. Tanner is my true soul mate. But he makes me feel so much like Tanner did, even though we just met. It feels like I've known him all my life...... like I felt about Tanner. An unnoticeable tear slipped form Daniel's eyes.
"No. A cute shepherd like you couldn't possibly be responsible for anything like that." The wolf smiled, but Daniel just looked away, avoiding any eye contact. Daniel clearly knew that this guy was trying to flirt with him, but something in Daniel said it was wrong. Something made him feel like he was cheating on Tanner.
"Listen, you're cute and all, but please don't flirt with me. You see............. My boyfriend died a year ago today, and I'm still not over it. I feel like I'd be cheating on him if I went on a date or anything like that with you. I'm sorry." Daniel's words seemed to phase the wolf for a second, because his smile was gone.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know. My name is Jacob and I'm sorry if I upset you." Daniel looked into his eyes, and he saw what a genuinely caring wolf he was. It reminded him of Tanner so much that it scared him a little. Daniel stuck out his paw.
"I'm Daniel." Instead of shaking paws, Jacob wrapped Daniel in a hug. At first, Daniel tried to reject, but the more time went on, the more he realized how good it felt to be in someone's arms again. It put warmth in his heart in a place that had long since grown cold. He knew he shouldn't be accepting hugs from a stranger, but something told him that this wolf was no stranger. Daniel hugged back briefly before they pulled apart. "You remind me so much of him. I wish he was still here." A tear fell from Daniel's eye. He missed the wolf an incredible amount. The wolf standing in front of him just smiled though and put his paw on Daniel's shoulder.
"He's closer than you think." With that, the mysterious wolf started to walk away. Daniel felt the desperate need to call to him, wanting him even more. He debated with himself for a millisecond before making his fatal decision. "Jacob!" He called and ran after the black wolf. Daniel caught him just as he turned around. "I'm sorry; it's just that I haven't really had any contact with people since Tanner died. I just......... Tanner was my soul mate, and when he died, I felt instantly empty. I wanted to be cut off from any contact, but you seem to be a really nice guy. I'd still like to be friends, but nothing more." Daniel looked up at the wolf, and saw he was grinning ear to ear. His tail was wagging a mile a minute behind him.
"Well, I'd be glad to be your friend." He handed Daniel his phone. "Here, put your number in this." Daniel put his number in and handed the wolf's phone back to him and Daniel handed him his. Jacob placed his number in there and took a picture of himself. When he gave Daniel's phone back, he put it into his pocket and started to walk with Jacob. "So, tell me about yourself." Jacob was just trying to start small talk, and Daniel accepted it, eager to break the silence between them.
"Well, I'm going to start college soon, and I live a couple of blocks away. I walk everywhere I go, ever since the accident." Daniel looked up and saw compassion in the wolf's eyes.
"So, what exactly happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I'm just curious." Daniel stopped suddenly and his body went rigid. I've only ever told one person exactly what happened, and he deserted me. Should I tell this person, someone who I literally just met? Something inside Daniel told him that he should. Daniel spoke, his words slow with definite pain behind them.
"Tanner and I got into a fight. He wanted go to a party, but I wanted him to stay home and be with me. He left me crying in the doorway when he left, and that was the last time he saw me, and the last time I saw him alive. I got p call later that he was in a car accident, and when I got to the hospital he was in a coma. He died a short time later." The tears were now flowing freely as Daniel felt arms wrap around him. He hugged Jacob back, savoring the embrace. He was crying into the wolf's shoulder, but all the wolf did was hold him tight, hoping to reassure him. When they pulled apart, Daniel was still crying, but a faint smile had formed on his face. Jacob instantly went into apologize mode.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you relive it."
"It's ok. You didn't know, and I felt you needed to know." They continued walking, chatting each other up until they both looked around, realizing that they were standing on the middle of a bridge. Daniel looked down, seeing the fast paced churning water of a river below him. He looked down, and for a fleeting moment, thought about jumping. The wolf standing behind him must have seen this, because he spoke up.
"Daniel, come here. Step away from that ledge. Stop thinking like that." Jacob saw tears form in Daniel's eyes and took a step forward. Now it was Daniel's turn to speak up.
"Please don't take another step closer. You have no idea how much pain I've been in the past year. Tanner leaving me was the worst thing that ever happened, and I blame myself. I think it's only fair that my life is the cost for Tanner's."
"Daniel, don't talk like that. I know for a fact that Tanner loves you, and we would be upset if you took your life for something that you had no control over. And I do know how you're feeling. I've been feeling the same way for the past year now too."
"How the hell would you know how I'm feeling?"
"Because Daniel....... I lost my shepherd when I died."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" But Daniel would soon know what he was talking about. A bright light flashed in front of Daniel, making him fall to he knees. When the light faded, Daniel looked up and gasped at the sight. Standing in front of him was a silver wolf with blue eyes. Daniel couldn't find words, but the silver wolf could.
"Daniel, you don't know how good it is to see you again. I've missed you so much."
"Wha......?" Was all that Daniel could say. He was completely in shock. "Am I dead?" The question sounded childish but it was the first thing that popped into his head. The wolf's smile instantly vanished.
"Daniel, I have something to show you." The wolf started walking away, and Daniel stood up and followed a little hesitantly. I must be dreaming. The shepherd's thoughts were cloudy when they approached their destination. The silver wolf suddenly turned around, a solemn look on his face. "Daniel, do you know who I am?" The shepherd looked at the wolf for a moment before answering.
"Yes, Tanner, I do know who you are. But, how is this possible? I must be dreaming."
"Sadly Daniel, you're not dreaming. Look." Tanner pointed, and Daniel looked in the direction he was pointing, but he didn't see anything.
"I don't see..........." but then Daniel saw it. The sight that lay before him was what looked to be a mangled carcass of a dog, face down in the rocks on the other shore. He gasped then looked at Tanner. "Is that..... Is that me?" Daniel managed to stutter. Tanner gave a sad nod, and Daniel ran over to him. He hugged him close and started to cry. His tears flowed for almost an entire half hour before he pulled away from Tanner, his tears subsiding. When he looked at Tanner a smile crossed his face. "At least were together once again." Daniel hugged the wolf, and the wolf hugged back.
"Yes Daniel. Where were going there will be no more lasts. Nothing that could hurt us. We will be together forever and always."
"And that's all that matters. There won't ever be another last kiss." Daniel kissed his lover on the lips and his smile grew bigger. "Well, let's get going. I don't really want to be around here anymore." Tanner chuckled.
"Eager now, aren't we puppy?" Tanner snapped his fingers, and a bright light appeared in front of the woods behind them. Tanner felt Daniel grasp his paw, and he looked over to see him smiling at him. The slowly began to walk towards the light. When they reached, Daniel gave Tanner one last look, and Tanner returned it with a kiss. "Forever and Always."
"Forever and Always." Daniel repeated. They both walked into the light, and it closed up behind them. The last thing that was visible was two tails wagging in unison.
The End
Hope you enjoyed. Please feel free to tell me of any mistakes i made, or comment just to comment.
Fun fact, my name is in this. Can you guess what it is? :)