Cleaning the past

Story by Beaverspear on SoFurry

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The concrete stoop of the board house was colder than before for the round bellied panda. The frigid February weather cut through the panda's sweater and thick fur as though he had none at all. He shivered, sitting on the stoop with his arms at his knees and his head into the pocket of his arms. He started to whimper, it was something he often did, people tended to say it was the homosexuality, but the Panda knew it was his heart telling him that no matter how many times he lied to himself he would never be happy without-

"You stupid piece of trash! I told you to get a job! I told you to quit being a bum! I told you--aw fuck, what's the point, it's useless." Carl, the panda's boyfriend shouted from the third floor window of the board house, chucking a drawer of clothes out the window.

"Baby, I've got the job interview. I can change. I-"The panda looked up, watching as his own small collection of clothes fell onto the cold streets below.

"You'll never change. Never! An interview isn't a job. You can't just live your life mooching off of me. I'm your boyfriend, not some ATM machine." Carl was a grizzly bear, old and chubby; the panda only really liked him because of his SOMETIMES nice personality, and the fact that although he didn't have a lot of money, he still shared some of it with the panda. "Now get your clothes and get the hell out of here!"

"How can you be so cold? I've got the interview! You know I'll get the job. You know I'm a charmer. Why are you being so cold? I've lived with you for two years!"

"Two jobless years that you spent mooching off of me. You didn't even love me did you?"

"I do love you!" The panda was lying, he knew who he loved, and it wasn't this chubby, Mc Ducks fry cook.

"Then how could you sleep with my brother?" The panda's eyes went wide, he knew about that? The board room window shut with a loud thump as Carl disappeared from the frost covered window.

"Shit." The panda picked up his clothes into a bundle, and dropped them in an empty recycling bin. Picking the bin up, he began walking down the street. As he walked his mind went off:

Everything would have been fine if I hadn't slept with his brother. Why did I do it? His brother is even worse off physically, and personality wise. So why did I do it? It was in spite. It was because Carl made me say I loved him. And I didn't love him; I loved someone else, a name itself that brings tears to my eyes. So I won't think it, and I won't say it. It doesn't matter; he's gone now, just a figment of my past. And it's about time I cleaned the past. I need to focus on the present. I need to focus on where I can find a place to stay. But the only place I can go to is, is Carl's brother, and the price he offers is so difficult for me to pay. Sometimes.

The panda stood in front of a red brick house (well it was more of a shack), the roof was lacking in tiles, and the yard was covered in shit that looked worse in the summer when snow hadn't covered a blanket over it all. The Panda walked up to the doorstep making sure not to trip over any spare tires that's final resting place was the yard of this disgusting abode. Before the panda got to the door, it was already open. Standing there was a overly chubby grizzly, wearing a wife beater with stains from every corner of the universe and a pair of almost yellow- ex-white boxer briefs. In one paw he held a bottle of Jack Daniels, and in the other a can of beans. He burped before gargling his words out,

"Come back fer more eh?"

"Yea." The panda gagged, shifting his head downward so the grizzly wouldn't see; although he'd probably enjoy seeing the panda react that way.

"Well, if you do the deed, what da I gotta give you this time?" He was making it sound like he was the whore, the panda growled again, whispering the F word under his breath. Last time he did the "deed," he told Carl's brother that he needed a place to stay the night. Which was true, because after the panda told Carl he loved him during a "serious discussion", the panda shifted his "honest" eyes off of the grizzly and onto the shifty eyed cat clock. That was quite upsetting to Carl. Carl then kicked the panda out of his home for the night. Then the panda found himself saying it (that disgusting and overrated "L" word) over and over again, lying over and over again. But Carl wouldn't believe it. So the panda had come to his brother for a place to stay. And that's where his dirty, sexually perverted brother made him suck his ursine cock among other things for a place to stay the night. He could of refused, could of slept on the streets, but he found himself saying "yea sure" way to easily.

The panda started to whimper to himself, "I, I'm homeless for the night."

The grizzly looking at him, a wide grin over his potato chip covered furred face, "My bro kick you out of his place eh? Again? Looking for a place to stay the night? Well you know the price."

The panda nodded, raising his head, "Yea. I do."

"Good. Good. Now tell me you want me to do it to you. And we'll get started."

"I-I want-" The panda took a deep breath, "I want you to do this to me."

"You want to suck my cock again don't you?"

"Yes."

"You want me to put my toys into you till it hurts don't you?"

The panda's face tensed up, "Yes."

"You want more this time though. I told you last time was only a start of what I could do to you. But you want more this time." The grizzly's face looked psychotic now, as though millions of disgusting ideas we're dancing in his head.

"Yes."

"Now tell me that you love me."

The panda paused, he didn't want to say it, but he had to, "I-I lov...lo..."

"Say it or you will sleep on the streets tonight." The grizzly was starting to get an erection, the musk off of it smelt as though he hadn't cleaned down there since last Thursday. The day that he betrayed himself, and gave into this bear for the first time.

"I love you!" The panda growled out the words, but it was satisfactory for the larger brother bear. Grabbing the panda by the cheeks he pulled him in and gave him a kiss, his vile tongue like a serpents as it jabbed fiercely inside the panda's mouth. He then abruptly broke the kiss, the panda hoping that's all he wanted: A kiss and someone to talk to over tea. But the tent in his lower region destroyed that dream for the panda.

"I'm going to enjoy this. Let's get started." The grizzly sat down at the same rocking chair he had sat down on before. And just like before he wasn't hesitant in throwing off his undies to show his erect cock, like a tower of dictatorship, it demanded that it be worshiped the second it came up. "Now, tell me what a big manly cock I have."

"That's a big...big manly cock you have there." The panda said creeping forward.

"And you can't wait to place your lips on it."

"I can't wait...wait to place my lips on it." The panda kneeled down before the grizzly on the rocking chair.

"Good. Now do it." The grizzly grabbed the back of the panda's head and pulled him towards his hard erect cock. Forcing the panda to send the rancid male genitalia into his mouth, causing the piece of flesh to shoot through his head, making him gag, to the amusement of the grizzly. He pulled the panda off his cock, "You like it when it makes you gag? Because it's so big! It's so big! TELL ME HOW BIG AND MANLY IT IS!"

"It's so big and manly." The panda said, a glob of beans falling onto the panda's face as the grizzly took a gratuitous spoonful of brown crap into his mouth. This was good though because as the brown goo slipped down the panda's face, it went under the eyes, hiding the tears that we're now streaming down the panda's face. The payment went on, and on, and the panda started to think back to the days when everything was so hopeful, when his future was so bright-- when love was right there in front of him -- when he was in high school.

**

"Hey there Allan." Allan looked over to see his friend running towards him at the bus stop, "Can't you believe we're graduating in less than a month. "

The panda smiled, looking over at his tall polar bear friend Arjay, "I know, I only have two chances left to beat you at a game of golf."

Arjay shrugged, "Yea. Well. I only have one last test left to score higher then you in math class. And that test is the exam."

"Oh that reminds me, you still want me to come over to tutor you?" The panda could feel his brain screaming at the top of its lungs, SAY YES!

"Yea, my mom's also got some cake left over from her business meeting. And I know how you like your cake." Arjay poked at the panda's round belly.

"Yea well not all of us can have a fast metabolism that allows us to be freakishly skinny." Allan slapped away Arjay's belly poking finger.

"Heh, this isn't metabolism, this is healthy eating, like you should be doing." The polar bear smiled, the panda liked that particular smile. The teasing smile, that was so playful. Although Allan wasn't ready to admit that he did in fact find the smile cute, and that he did in fact love his best friend in the whole wide world, Arjay.

"Ouch, that's hurtful. I can't help it if I like cake, it's so much better then fish or salad. Bleh!"

"Well, at least my fish and salad is helping me get the girls. Suzie invited me to the prom."

"Oh. Really?" The panda could feel his heart start to beat as though it had been broken. At the time he ignored the feeling, "That's good; you've liked Suzie for a long time."

"Yep. She's my one and only crush ever since grade nine." The way Arjay said that last sentence, hurt Allan more than any way he could ever believe his heart could hurt. But he ignored the feeling. Arjay was only his friend, not anything more.

"Say? Arjay is Suzie coming to tutor with us then?" Allan sighed, "I mean. It's kind of a best friend's type of thing."

"Well. I was thinking about bringing her. She is in our math class. I mean, we've done it just the two of us alone for so long. It's kind of gay without a girl..."

Suzie was just like Arjay: Tall and skinny, and a polar bear. With Suzie's parents as good friends with Arjay's, it was no wonder why Arjay had liked Suzie for so long. She often dressed in an Argile sweater and a long skirt, as she truly believed in dressing for success.

"Yea. Gay."

Allan turned his head to look for the bus, but really he was trying not to look at his friend Arjay anymore. He felt like he was going to cry, he felt like he was disappointed. But Allan couldn't figure out why. He wasn't gay, why should he care if Allan had a prom date. There was a long silence before the bus came by to pick them up.

During the time of high school, the two bears were inseparable. They were studying to go to the same business school so all their classes were the same. And at those classes they always sat beside each other. And at every lunch they sat together under the same giant apple tree, winter or summer. And in the hallway they always had to have their lockers beside each other. No matter what the cost. This year Arjay had to give every cheerleader a foot massage to get that locker beside's Allan's. But it wasn't like Arjay didn't enjoy doing that.

However, on the day that Arjay got his prom date, Allan found that Suzie was now everywhere that Arjay was. So that every time Allan was with Arjay, Arjay was always focused on Suzie. Allan couldn't stop himself from thinking, they are only prom dates. Why are they acting like they are going out?

The school day ended and it was time to meet back at Arjay's place to study for the math exam. Naturally Suzie had come along, but also she had brought someone else. That someone else was Brett, a zebra who transferred as a foreign exchange student to Arjay's and Allan's school this year. She was the tallest of the class, but a lot of guys found her also to be the sexiest. Just no one really ogled over her for her English was very limited, she had a strong accent that was hard to understand, and she was a major book worm. Allan liked her though, and on days when Arjay wasn't at school, he would often hang out with her at the library. But why was she here now? She wasn't in his math class. Allan looked over to Arjay,

"Why is Brett here?"

" 'cuse me? Some say name" Brett looked over to the two men. The four of them sat together on the bus ride home, Allan and Arjay in one seat, Brett and Suzie in the other.

"Nothing Brett, just wondering why you came on this bus. You usually walk home don't you?"

"Yes. But Suz and I are hang with you!" The zebra smiled kindly.

Arjay looked to Allan, "Not a problem is it?"

Allan shrugged, "We're supposed to be studying, not having a social get together. But if you want to fail the exam..."

Arjay played with Allan's head fur, "C'mon, Brett could use a math lesson couldn't she?"

Suzie laughed, "Got that right, she's a wiz in history, but you should have seen her basic geometry mark from two years ago!"

"Eh. Uh? You need to be. Uh. Quiet?" Brett said, her eyes squinting at every, "uh."

The four of them all laughed and the bus stopped in front of Arjay's house. All four of them could drive, but as penny pinching future university students it was always better to take the bus. The four of them walked into the front foyer of Arjay's home. Arjay yelled out, "Hello?" Then looked to the curvy set of stairs that lead up to his bedroom, there was a note on the stair banister,

A,

Buisness meeting,

Money. Pizza? Pot in kitchen

L,

M&D

The cryptic note was a prime example of how Arjay lived his life. Both parents engulfed by the business world they often we're gone and often on short notice, leaving messages like this one for Arjay to find when he got home. Arjay sighed; he wasn't a big fan of barely having parents.

Allan's parents we're a lot different. They had grown up around the bible and Sunday services. Allan's mom a house wife, his dad was a used car salesmen. Both were very prim and proper, as his dad often spoke like he was a motivational speaker. The only thing Allan and Arjay's parents had in common was they were completely against homosexuality, and premarital sex.

"So we go to room and study?" Brett said, trying her best to speak English.

"I guess so." Arjay said shrugging.

The four went up to Arjay's plain white bedroom. Arjay was allowed to paint it as a graduation present, but not until he passed with an eighty percent average. Allan got a velvet covered bible for his graduation present, as well as his own key to the family car. Arjay jumped on his bed and Suzie soon followed, the two immediately joined into a cuddle as though they were dyslexic amoebas. Allan sat on the floor, and Brett sat beside him, giving him romantic eyes. Allan couldn't help but feel a little awkward,

"Well let's get started then."

"Right. All of our exams are coming up, and I'm so nervous about it." Arjay looked over at Allan. "I really want to get into this business school."

"Did you know I'm applying at the same school you guys are now?" Suzie spoke up, nuzzling her head into Arjay's chin, Allan couldn't stop but look at the two, and Brett couldn't help but look at Allan.

"Really? That's awesome Suzie." Arjay bent down and gave a kiss onto Suzie's lips, Allan squinted his eyes, Brett continued to stare at Allan.

"Yea, I'm really excited." Suzie smiled, placing her paws along Arjay's cheeks, Allan eyes opened wide, ew they are going to make out, he quickly thought before the couple had a quick session of tongue exchange. Suzie looked at Brett, Brett looked at Allan, Allan looked at Arjay, disappointment once again darkening his heart.

"I, go to that school too?" Brett smiled her stare still on Allan.

Allan looked back at Suzie, "Why would you do that? Your better in history classes, not really business mathematics."

"So I be with you!" And at those words Suzie jumped onto Allan, in front of Arjay and Suzie. "I like you! Like you very much!" She straddled herself on top of Allan and then bent down to kiss Allan. Her equine tongue feeling weird inside the Panda's mouth and it's length moved in almost a wavey motion. Arjay and Suzie then kissed as well, and soon thoughts of studying were put aside.

Moments later, it was Suzie cuddling with Allan (although Suzie laid on top of Allan and her naturally heavy equine body pinned the panda to the ground) and Arjay with Suzie cuddling on the bed. It was then Suzie who spoke,

"So Allan? You going to take Brett to the prom? Now that you've guys have kissed and stuff."

Allan rolled his eyes, Suzie was so juvenile, there was so much more to picking a prom date then just some quick kiss that Brett practically STOLE from Allan, "Yea, Brett, you want to be my Prom date?"

"Yes! I like that!" Brett grinned once again forcing another kiss into Allan.

Suzie giggled, "Aww friends dating friends! This is so cute."

Allan looked at Suzie, then looked at Arjay, "But we're just prom partners. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend."

Arjay shrugged cuddling Suzie, "I think it kind of makes you automatically going out."

"No it doesn't!"

"Why does it matter. You should be happy you finally have a girlfriend. After all you hadn't had one since grade nine. And she totally looked like a man."

"Sheeba? Sheeba had a really nice personality. Don't talk about like that."

"Well Brett's got a nice personality and a great body." Arjay laughed.

"Yea look at those tits!" Suzie looked over at Brett and then everyone but Allan was laughing.

"Yea." Is all Allan could say after the three were done laughing, Brett suddenly stopped straddling Allan and sat beside him, she starred at Allan with a queer eye and then said she had to go home. Suzie offered to drive her and Allan decided to get home as well, promising Arjay that they would have to study double to make up for the time they lost today.

Later that night Allan was laying across his bed, his arms behind his head, he starred at the stars through the sun roof in his room. It was the favourite part of his room, because he could always look to the stars before he went to bed. His home was old, and his room was thought to be a green room by his parents, hence explaining why his room would have such a large sun roof. Allan liked to believe, however, that it was the old master bedroom and the lovers who shared this room, like to look at the stars while holding each other close together. Allan started to think, started to imagine, a panda and polar bear, cuddling each other under the sun roof. There two bodies close together, sharing each other's warmth. Telling each other their, "I love you's." Then the phone rang, and Allan answered it first from his personal bedroom phone.

"Hello?" He spoke into the receiver.

"I speak to Allan?" The voice spoke from the other side.

"Oh hey Brett, excited for the prom?" Allan laughed.

"Uh. I dunt know explain this?" Her accent was always worse when she was nervous about something.

"Well just take your time, Brett. I got all night." Allan laughed again, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"I kiss you. You no like?"

"What?" Allan almost dropped the phone.

"I sorry? Uh? Kiss? Like I did. With.."

"No I understand. Just why don't you think I liked it?"

"Cause. You like Arjay!" She started to sob a bit through the phone.

"What? No? What makes you think that?" Allan was disgusted by that comment--On the outside. But on the inside--

"It right. I shoulda known." She sighed, "My botter in utter country is gay. I love still him."

"I'm not gay. I like girls! Girls like you. That's why you're my prom date."

"You not honest!"

"Why would you think of me of all people to be gay."

"I think it ob-vee-us"

"Brett you're my friend. Please don't insult me like this."

"It right! It kay! I not insult you! You like Arjay, you not like me. It kay. It right."

Allan sighed, "Well. Maybe. I mean.." He looked over to his graduation gift. The bible with gold lettering and a purple velvet cover, "No. I don't."Gasps of air could be heard as Brett started to cry heavily before hanging up the phone with a loud, click!

Gay? The panda never thought those words would apply to him. I mean gay people were always so emotionally unstable and flamboyant. Allan was not. But if he was gay, then that would make sense as why he's been so hurt by seeing Arjay and Suzie together. And why some nights he's wanted nothing more but to be with his best friend. He sighed, he was a smart Panda, and was confident with himself. There was no hiding it; he could very well be gay. But what did the bible think? What would his parents think? If he admitted to being, attracted to men, then would Brett be his only friend? That night the Panda did not sleep so well.

The next day of school Arjay decided to skip it to hang out at Suzie's place while her parents were gone. Allan couldn't help but disapprove of this action, but he didn't know if it was because he was skipping school or because he was skipping school with Suzie. That meant that at lunch Allan would have to spend it with Brett, or eat alone, and after last night Allan was considering eating alone. But for some reason, he met Brett down at the library, who was now reading a book on homosexual rights.

"Brett?" Allan walked up and sat in the chair across from the zebra, "About last night ...I.."

She dropped the book, "No fault was mine. I just was hurt by kiss not enjoying for you. I just thought cause you were like bruh-bruh-brother. Not cause you just don't like me. I sorry. "

Allan sighed, "I think you might be right. I mean I really do like Arjay."

A smile went across her face and she hugged Allan, "Thank you for honesty."

Allan pushed her off the hug and looked at the Zebra with sorrowful eyes, "I just don't want to be. I'm scared Brett. To be honest I'm scared. If my parents find out, if Arjay finds out..."

Brett was stilling smiling, "Suzie suspect Arjay..."

Allan then smiled too, "Really?"

Brett giggled, "mmhmm...."

"Why? How?"

"To get it up, he close eyes, Suzie think he seein faces."

"Wait. Seein faces? What's that mean."

"He picturing new person in bed."

"And Suzie thinks it's me why?"

"Because he almost say Allan during 'playing'" Brett giggled and then added, "Suzie is in total denial of the whole thing too."

"Wow? I... I don't know what to say."

"I think you need honesty with Arjay, too!"

"But. I don't think I can be that confident I mean. I'd love to be with Arjay but the fact that it's so wrong. It's just so unnatural. I just. I don't want to do it. But I want to at the same time?"

"Listen to heart maybe?" Brett said shrugging.

"But you don't understand."

"My brother is, member?"

"Yea. How is your brother with your parents?"

"They don't talk" The zebras ears dropped, she knew that wouldn't help Allan's situation.

"Shit." Allan tried not to swear, but that one had slipped out.

"Talk with Arjay tonight? During tutoring, and see what heart thinks?"

"Yea. I guess."

"Want me come?"

"No. Just in case if things get...a little out of hand." Allan started to blush and Brett giggled.

After lunch the rest of the day was slow and monotonous, without Arjay math class had been "m-a-t-h class *ugh*", instead of "math class with Arjay. Woohoo!" But at the end of the day Allan called up Arjay and they were going to have a tutor session after school. This meant that Allan was going to see his friend today. Then news got even better when he told Allan that Suzie wasn't going to be there. And with the icing on the cake, neither were Arjay's parents. The set-up was all there, now if Allan only could find the confidence to make this thing happen.

**

Allan now stood in front of Arjay's door, the doorbell had already rang 2 times and Arjay still hadn't answered. Allan now began to growl a bit ringing the doorbell another ten times,

"You lazy bear get out here and let me in!"

Arjay opened his bedroom window, "No."

Allan looked up at Arjay, "Why not?"

"You have to say the secret password first."

"Your being a child."

"Nope, not the password."

"We're senior students, Arjay. Let me in."

"Nope, that's not the password either."

"Arjay, stop procrastinating. This is stupid. You're the one worried about the exam, not me."

"Okay. Okay. God, just trying to have some fun."

There was another long pause as Allan stood outside. Normally it wouldn't take this long for Arjay to get the door open, and it almost seemed as though Arjay was purposefully delaying time. Why, Because Arjay was nervous about seeing Allan? Because, Arjay had figured out that he liked Allan too? Or because Brett had told Allan what Arjay was thinking, and now Allan was nervous about what his gay friend raping him. Allan decided that Brett needed to learn to keep her long mouth shut. Now he regretted ever considering coming out to his best friend. The panda knew that Arjay's only crush was Suzie, he said it himself.

The door opened slowly, Arjay stood there looking dumbly with a nervous grin on his face,

"Should we get studying?"

"Why the long wait? I was out here for at least half an hour."

Arjay looked at Allan and took a deep breath, "I'm gay."

"What!?"

"Joking. Hehehe."

"Oh. He, he ,he." Allan could feel a certain joy developing inside of him,

"Would you like some coc--cake? Yea cake? Cause you like cake." Arjay's eyes lowered a bit, but then shot right up to meet with Allan's.

"Cake? Sounds good." Allan smiled inviting himself in, as Arjay shuffled off to the side. He was giggling nervously still, and Allan decided that he could have some fun with this situation.

The two stood in the kitchen, Arjay at the counter, while Allan was at the small island in the centre of the gorgeously marble kitchen. He had a shiny silver fork in one paw, which he used to dive bomb into the gracious amount of cake that Arjay had cut for him. Allan put a piece into his mouth slowly, letting the fork glide into his mouth, and then hovered it over his lips gently as the fork started to leave his mouth, "mmm, this white frosting is so smooth in my mouth."

"Yea, cake is good." Arjay smiled staring at Allan. Allan licked his lips while his eyes were closed as though the cake had just giving him a sudden shock of orgasmic enjoyment. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at Arjay. If a polar bear could be even paler, then that's what Arjay would be right now. Allan purposefully let a piece of frosting fall on his shirt, and smiled, "Woops, I'm such a messy little bear. Haha."

Lifting up his shirt, he exposed his belly to Arjay, as he over exaggerated the action of a tongue licking off a mess on a shirt. Making more, "mmm" sounds as the shirt blocked the panda's vision. As the shirt dropped Allan now noticed that Arjay was on the other side of the island,

"We are just friends right?" Arjay was looking at the marble surface playing circles with his finger, "Nothing more?"

"What do you mean?"

"I, really like you Allan." Arjay raised his head and looked at Allan, who was playing dumb, "I mean, not in that way. Just like you're my best friend, and junk. Want to get studying? When you are done your cake? Or you could take your cake to my room, and we could study while you eat. Or something..."

"You know Arjay-" Allan placed a paw on Arjay's circling finger, "You may not like me THAT way, but I do like you THAT way."

Arjay smiled taking his covered paw and turning it upwards to hold onto Allan's hand. He then raised his head and looked into the dark globes of Allan's eyes, "It's kind of weird isn't it?"

"I don't think so."

"Mom and dad would freak if they found out."

"They don't have to know. Your parents are never home."

"This still feels weird."

"Do you not like me?"

"Of course I do. Every time I was with Suzie, I had to picture your face. I knew it wasn't normal to do that, so I talked to Brett. She told me about her gay brother. So I kinda, got thinking that maybe I was gay. Then Brett called me minutes before you did, and she told me that you had something very important to tell me. I soon found myself wishing that special thing was that you liked me. But I didn't know if it was just wishful thinking. I don't know...My head was racing..." Arjay continued on, his speech a meaningless blabber that made Allan start to become annoyed. So he kissed him.

Then there was silence, as the lips remained motionless pushed against each other creating a bridge over the small kitchen island.

Then there was silence, as the heart in the two bears' chest started to beat in unison.

Then there was silence, as even though both pair of eyes was closed, they still starred into each other.

Then the kiss was broken.

Arjay smiled, "To my bedroom?"

Allan placed a paw to the bear's cheek, "Most certainly."

Arjay jumped onto his bed, and turned his body sideways to look at Allan who was standing in the doorway, "Do you know what you're doing? I mean...I've only heard things on how to, ya know, do IT. With a man. Ahem..."

Allan continued to stand in the doorway, "It'll be like improv. I guess..." Arjay closed his eyes and swallowed his spit with a loud gulp. He was nervous. They were both nervous. What if it hurts? What if they ruin themselves internally? How would they explain, "Mommy I got a torn rectum?" What if their parents found out? What if...what if...questions danced in both of their heads as Allan stood at the side of the bed, with Arjay looking up at the panda. Arjay gulped again,

"Should we get started? Hehe..."

"Yah. Yah...Should I just take off my pants or...You want to do it?"

"I...you can do it. I think I'm too shaky to work a fly. Hehe.."

"Yah. Okay. "Allan smiled and put his paws on the fly of his pants. He was shaky too, and he found it a difficult task to get the pants off. But sure enough they found themselves rested at the panda's ankles. Now he was in his underwear, tighty whities. Arjay started to giggle, and Allan found himself blushing, "I know I'm not very big. But...I.."

"It's not that! It's your underwear. It's got the day of the week written on them. Nerd!" Arjay laughed and Allan started to growl.

"Well at least I'm brave enough to take my pants off. You're still fully clothed!"

"Oh. I guess I should get undressed too."

"How about I do it?" The panda, in the time he was in now, in the time where he was being sexually punished by the grizzly of his nightmares, realised this is where he had made his mistake.

"I'd like that."

The panda smiled, coming onto the bed with the Polar bear as the bear rolled onto his belly. Wrapping his arms around the bear's waist he started to play with his fly as Arjay raised his hips to help him out. The fly came down, and the pants slid down Arjay's skinny, but athletic body. The certain fabric sliding along his smooth white fur, Allan saw Arjay's nice silky (and non-dated) blue boxers. He didn't hesitate on sliding them off exposing the double curved rear end of the beautiful man before him. Arjay dug his head into his pillow, the nerves were getting to him, and he was trying to stop himself from freaking out. Allan was hard now. His penis shooting out a tent from his nerdy white boxers; the sight of Arjay's arse exposed for him was exciting to him in ways he'd never felt before. His pecker feeling aggravated under his tight underwear, he released the tension as the underwear came off and was thrown aside. Arjay still shoved his face into his pillow. Allan smiled and pushed his smaller head to the hole of the white polar bear: Crowning the Arjay, as though he was king.

Allan pressed his body onto of the polar bear, and grabbed the base of his own cock, his chubby self cushioning the back of Arjay. He started to push but then Arjay groaned, "Stop! Stop! It's not going to go in!"

Allan Stopped and pulled back, "It hurts?"

"You got to use a lubricant...from what I hear."

"Lubricant. Like oil you use in your car?"

"Saliva works too...from what I hear that is."

"You want me to spit on your bum?"

"Or lick it."

"Ew! Gross!"

"Come on, it's not that gross."

"Well. What makes you the expert on this anyways?"

"I...I've watched gay porn before okay? I just wanted to know...Whatever. Just do it."

"Uhh...okay..Don't fart or anything." Allan scrunched his face in and slowly peeked a bit of his pink tongue from his mouth. He pressed the tongue to the small hole and felt Arjay shiver. Allan smiled and let his tongue out a bit more, now giving it a longer lick. Arjay shivered and moaned. Then Allan grasped the sides of the Polar Bear and dove his nose into the crevice of his crack, giving the tail hole wet and long licks. Arjay dug his head into the pillow moaning what sounded like, "Oh god."

Allan viciously assaulted the tail hole of Arjay, as Arjay rocked his hips side to side. Moaning and clenching the pillow as he felt the wet tongue explore his very own ass crack; the long tongue almost penetrating; almost spearing into the insides of the polar bear.

Then a gasp was heard, followed by the sound of glass breaking on the floor.

Arjay's Mom was there, a bowl of ice cream smashed on the floor.

Her eyes wide.

Her jaw dropped.

Arjay was a quick thinker. Oh, and what a great skill to have at a time like this. Arjay knew exactly what to do. Arjay started to snore.

Allan was caught, his foot in a bear trap. The mom was frozen as well. And now the whole scene had become a tableau.

Mom frozen in disbelief.

Allan looking at the mom with his tongue out and cock hard.

Mom's son sleeping with his pants off and bum wet.

It was at this point that the story became blurry for Allan. He remembered a loud scream. A baseball bat. The words, "Rape. Help. Demon child. Rape. Seduce. You'll go to hell," and seeing his own blood through one eye, and Arjay hugging his pillow through the other. He was starring in horror, Allan was starring in betrayal. Arjay never said anything in Allan's defence. His only confession going along with the, "Rape story."

He stood silent when Arjay's Parents told Allan's.

He was silent as the kids of his school avoided the gay rapist on Allan's LAST day of school.

He was silent as the principal suggested bible endorsed youth camp.

He sealed his lips shut, when Allan disappeared from his life; when Allan disappeared from his own life.

The last Allan heard of Arjay was that him and Suzie were in love, and Brett moved back to her old country.

Damn, if only Arjay had taken off his own shorts. Then Arjay wouldn't have been face down in his pillow, on his back, in a position that would let him, "Sleep." If only Arjay, hadn't betrayed Allan.

**

The basement had a single bulb hanging from a loose wire that provided poor light in the musky and moldy dungeon. There was a decrepit mattress on the floor that the Panda had slept on before. It wasn't much but it was shelter for the night. The light bulb flickered and then burnt out with a loud pop.

Allan was on all fours, his body beaten and misused as though he was some toy made for rough sex and rough sex only. As though he wasn't a person, rather an object, and with Allan's soul as dead as it felt he was ready to believe that's what he actually was. He crawled to the mattress and curled into the fetal position. One paw as a pillow, the other on his sore rear end. He hated Arjay, he hated him with every burnt shard of his soul that once was filled with love. He hated Arjay so much that compared to the grizzly, one could even love the grizzly.

After all, he wasn't that bad of a man.

Allan closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Tears dry on his cheeks, he could only dream of the better life that his new job interview might bring him.

=================

Tragedy much?

Again?

Okay, this story might seem a little dark right now but I promise you it gets better! I don't plan on killing the main character so that's a good sign right?

Umm, I really appreciate the comments said on my last story. Sort of gave me a bit of a spark to go on with this new story series. I know one of the problems with my last story was there was some questions apparently left unanswered.

So, if you have any questions I'll try to answer them by comment or in the next story (if they are good enough)

Otherwise when I have the time (I just got a new job :D) I'll start part 2 shortly. As always feel free to provide me criticism to help my writing, and also suggestions or things you'd like to see in the next story (as long as it follows my original plans)

P.S. Brett is dead :P Her plane crashed on her way back to her old country.

Joking.

Or am I?

(The truth is, is I don't plan on bringing that meddling zebra back into the story. I mean who wants to hear about a sexy zebra lady with a strong accent? Am I right?)

Thanks for reading