Once In A Lifetime
#2 of The Playlist
I figured this was a mistake..
I found myself in a different bed, which certainly seemed like a completely different part of the world to me. A tawny brown arm was loosely draped over my waist as the rising sun peeked over the buildings, light raking across the window from left to right as my heart began to race.
I'd ask myself how I got here, but I'm not sure I want to answer that question seeing as how I really should be running now.
I gently slip my body from underneath the weight of his arm and slink out of bed, quickly padding over to the puddle of clothing that looks like mine and rearranging myself to fit into them. I grab my shirt and throw it over my head as I slip into my shoes and sling my jacket on, grabbing my bag. Deftly throwing the bolt to his door, I lock his doorknob and gently, quietly pull the door shut behind me. Quietly, I steal away into the overly creaky stairwell and emerge into the late waning dawn of the city.
Getting a half block from his apartment I whip out my phone and summon up her number, jabbing 'send' in a jittery panic and eagerly waiting as my fingers ached with cold:
"Dev- it's early..."
"Sweetpea, we were at the club and I got drunk. We went to your house afterwards. Meet me for breakfast in-" I checked my wrist watch, making note that it was just after 7 AM "an hour. Delete this call when I've hung up. Got it?"
"Yeah..."
I hate knowing this isn't the first time this has happened.
"I'll see you shortly." And I hung up, quickly deleting the call from my phone.
I slipped my phone back into my pocket, checking to make sure that I had my wallet in my pants as well and finding a small scrap of paper with numbers that weren't in my handwriting scrawled on it. My fingers were deathly cold, they always were when I was nervous but the unusually cold morning certainly didn't help as I crammed that scrap into my bag. God, it felt like I was caught up in a rushing torrent as folks silently made their way passed me; disoriented and shaking slightly, I hurriedly made my way back to familiar territory and ended up at the bookstore down the block from my apartment 20 minutes later.
That's where I finally saw him: dressed in a sharp tailored suit with a pale yellow and white shirt and gold tie. The black chow made his way across the window carrying his briefcase and his umbrella, focused on the step ahead. His mane popping up over the collar of his shirt and coat as he sped towards the end of the block.
I made a ten count and stepped out form the store, quickly looking behind me to see him make his way down the block. Pulling the door to my building open, I waved and smiled to the Labrador manning the front desk, as he was getting ready to end his shift. The elevator took an agonizingly long time to arrive, but it did with a hum and a ding; something I found eerily charming about the building, but its effect lost on me this morning. With the door closing behind me, I leaned back against the wall with the back of my head bumping against it, letting out a long hard sigh and elbowing the wall behind me.
I shook my head, muttering softly as the door opened and I stormed out into the hallway, making a beeline towards my door with soft thuds as the plush carpet muffled my heavy footfalls. With key in hand, I hesitated before putting it into the lock and closed my eyes, lightly headbutting the door and muttering again: "Fucking moron..."
The door didn't squeak. It barely made a clicking noise as it closed behind me. Nothing to betray my quiet entrance as I dragged off my shoes and dropped my bag in the hallway, shedding layers of clothing as I made my way deeper into the apartment.
I glanced at the mantle clock, the crystal vase and gilded picture frame sparkling next to it as it showed 8 AM on its face.
Gathering the layers I had shed, I tossed them into the hamper and hopped in the spacious shower and threw the faucet on. The water always started out hot by the time I was ready to get in the shower and this morning was no exception; the hot water cascaded down me, matting my fur and making small rivers across my body as it held me down. I stood there, bracing myself against the wall in front of my and rubbing the back of my neck.
Now was a moment for quiet contemplation, although I didn't want to believe it happened. He was a nice guy. This was stupid. I've tried to sabotage myself again. This is stupid.
I shook my head, letting the water drip off of me and slammed the faucet shut as I grabbed a towel and hastily rubbed myself down.
The Talking Heads starts playing: Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down. Letting the days go by, water-
I winced and rushed out to the dresser where I had apparently placed my phone. Adopting what I think to be a brave tone, I put it up to my ear: "Hey, babe."
His somewhat jagged voice cut through my head, "Dev, where were you last night?"
I padded around the bed and sat down on my side of it, scratching the back of my head as I closed my eyes "I went out with Katie, I forgot to give you a call or something because she ambushed me at work." This wouldn't be the first time he bought this line.
"Alright, I was just a bit worried when you didn't show up."
Now, someway to turn this around... "You could have given me a call-"
He chuckles slightly, "Yeah, I know. It's done though. Anyways, I was hoping to hear your voice before I left this morning. But this will have to do."
Guilt. "I won't forget next time this happens. I gotta run though, I'm meeting her for breakfast." I feel a slight pang of regret as the next words instinctually bubble out of my lips, "Love you."
"Love you too, Dev. I'll see you tonight."
Then the line goes silent.
He sometimes gives me a call when he's on his way to the office.
I toss the phone on the bed next to me and rest my forehead in my palms, letting out a ragged sigh. Last time I promise myself.
Stepping from my towel, I pull on a pair of underwear and pants and toss on a shirt. I send a text to Katie telling her that I'll be right over as it's already 8:30 and I'm late to breakfast.
She has a slightly harassed look on her face as I storm towards he and give her a hug. "Thanks for doing this- I did something stupid."
I know she loves to see me in a tight spot; the slightly satisfied smirk creeps up onto her face. "This isn't the first time you've done something stupid."
"Neither will it be the last, I'm sure of it-" I plop down into the booth across from where she had been sitting, not bothering to take off my bag as I note the half eaten muffin and two cups of coffee separating us, "but this is something kind of different."
She pops up slightly, slipping her leg underneath of her as she leans across the table "How's it different than the fox? Or the bear? Or that cute little cheetah? I know what stupid things you've done and have a penchant for."
I rub my chin and grimace "They were flings... mostly harmless."
"You're not as confident as you seem to think you are, Dev."
"Not at all." This is why I like her: she's blunt and unforgiving. "Be my alibi."
"Sweetie, it wouldn't be the first time." she's more making reference to the fake dates and meetings with my parents than her covering my ass before. "What's different this time?"
I let out a soft sigh and smile, cupping my hot coffee as my ears perk up slightly. "It just felt different. I don't know how to explain it, but you know when you know instantly that shit is just going to change?" That sounds very dramatic, but I'm not exactly the most articulate this morning.
She rolled her eyes and leaned back in the booth "I haven't the foggiest what you're talking about. But I guess I'll let you convince me of it. What's his name and everything? Let me in the know."
"Well," I take a quick sip of the coffee and set it down, "he's a lion named Eddy; he likes reading, architecture, art, photography, and he's a science teacher. He's also nice." I feel another wave of guilt settle in my chest as I run down this list.
"He sounds deviant. Those are all superficial things." She picks off a bit of muffin and chews it quickly, "and he's different how? I'm still not getting that part."
"I don't know. I didn't pick him up... he sort of just found me. I was working last night and we got to chatting and- you know."
She kicks my knee with her free leg, "When are you going to stop this? You're sabotaging a perfectly good thing between you and Blake."
My ears lower and I take a deep breath, "It's only recently that it turned 'perfectly good'."
"Recently being 2 years-"
I give her a glare across the table, "I'm feeling complaisant. It turned sour and he found it in his heart to stop being a career driven asshole." I usually snap when talking about Blake to her.
"That career is keeping you housed in your lavish apartment-" she gestures at me to make a point, "and you even knew what he was like and that he was establishing himself. So don't play martyr."
Seriously, damn her for knowing everything. "It's all pie in the sky. I've worked through the bad times and the good are sorely disappointing."
"But you still get the pang thinking about him."
I'm forced to pause a moment...
"Stockholm syndrome?" I'm embarrassed now, this is not exactly a winning argument.
"Dev, it's not my place at all to tell you how you should live your life but I can't see this being a viable option."
"Pulling out all the stops, huh?"
She shrugs and smiles, "It sounded nice in my head." Crossing her arms over her chest, she gives her arm a scratch, "Did you at least say goodbye to the poor guy?"
"I slipped away-"
"I thought you said it wasn't a fling."
I scratch the side of my chin and let my arm drop back on the table, "I was scared. And worried. And many other things." I start to drum the tabletop with my fingers, "Besides, he left his number on a scrap of paper in my pocket."
She actually laughed, a cackle breaking into the small restaurant. "Presumptuous bastard, isn't he?"
"There you go being blunt. You don't even know him." I chuckle
She snorted, "Neither do you."
"Well, that's obvious."
As we're exiting from the restaurant, I take her paw and pull her beside me, guiding her up the street. "Dev, your paws are freezing." She jerks herself free and crams it into her pocket, leaving mine at my side.
"Nerves, sweetpea." Somehow with her grilling me and shooting me down and basically degrading me, I feel better. Talking with her usually does this for me.
"You should give him a call. I'd say he wanted you to." She nudges me slightly.
I nudge her back, "Under false pretenses. Why do I complicate things for myself?"
"Because you have no idea what you want to do with yourself. You seem so self assured, but I see the same lost boy I saw ages ago."
I cram my paws into my pockets and shrug, "I've gotten taller though. Much taller. And I have my arrogant days."
I should call him. Maybe he didn't actually go to school today...
Dun dun dunnn, right?
Kind of fast paced, but wouldn't your mind be in a rush if you were trying to figure things out?
There are cliché things in here, don't fault me for that.
Thanks for reading and jazz.