FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The world is different now.

I rest a hand against a wall, staring at it as if I could see through it. Well, I guess I could. I look the same, but everything else seems insubstantial, ephemeral. It takes a conscious effort to feel the wall and push against it rather than go through it. By the same token, I could focus on the wall or through the wall just like most people can either focus on a chainlink fence or look past it. It is a strange world I live in where I have to focus to hear the traffic but could easily hear the strange whispers.

I said the world is different, but it isn't really. Not for me. The first thing I remember is the Lethe. Intellectually, I knew I had been a part of this strange world of ghosts at some point, but I could not remember anything. Time seems to flow oddly here, so I cannot even say how long I've been living like this. Well, on the odd occasions when someone sees me, they say I'm dead. But if they are alive and I can see and hear them, how can that be?

I pause to consider my own hand on the wall. It stands out as being solid. My body and clothes are the only things I cannot see through. Well, not quite.

I see things that stand out as solid, yet no one in this world of fog seemed to notice. Sometimes, I could see solid things living inside the ghosts that walked about. Of course, there was also the moon that dictated night and day. It was clearly solid. During the day, some of the things living in the ghosts became visible to the ghosts. This usually ended with their panicked fleeing. It was comical. What were they afraid of? The chance of becoming solid? Unfortunately, daylight came and went, and every once in a while, there would be two solid nights with no day between. Those were the days I felt most weary. I usually slept, such as I could.

I am still absently staring at my hand when a flash of light catches my eye beyond the wall. My normally latent curiosity is piqued. What had I seen? I move through the wall, looking for what had caught my eye. This is more difficult than it sounds. Yes, I could see through things, but I had to focus my sight before and after each object. Look too far, and I could not see what was close, and vice versa. I see it again and go at a faster pace. This time I could see it was residing in one of the ghosts. I had seen others like it before, but this one seems brighter somehow. The others looked like they were carried by the ghost except for on the brightest days. This one looks like it is in control.

It ducks around another corner, forcing me to change my focus once again. Tiring of the game, I rise above the foggy constructions and look down. Now that I do not have to keep changing focus, I can see it clearly, and I quickly close the distance.

I do not engage it directly, though. I am too wary. I seem to be safe from the fog and death, but some things still hurt. I do not wish to scare it.

It suddenly pauses, I hover above uncertainly. Abruptly, it looks up and sees me watching it. A peculiar light comes over its face, and it waves me down.

I stay above a moment longer, considering. I had wanted to observe it before making contact to ensure it was benign, but now I am faced with two choices: stay and risk or leave and never know. It seems to be stuck to the foggy ground by the ghost it resides in, though, so I decide to descend.

I alight gracefully, automatically adjusting my mind to keep my feet from going straight through the ground. It looks at me with its head cocked to one side. I take a brief moment to study the ghost's face, but then focus on the more important physical aspect inside it.

It was certainly different than I or the ghost. It had a muzzle, and its ears protruded from the top of its head. Its teeth were sharp, and it had dimly shining fur that swayed in the wind that none of the ghosts seemed to feel. Lastly, I could see a tail flicking behind it. It reminded me vaguely of the four-legged ghosts that sometimes went with the bipedal ghosts that were more common here, except, of course, for the fact that it was bigger and on two legs. Odd. The last time I had seen something like this was on a bright day. That had been when one of the shapes living in the ghosts had taken control. Some ghost in its fear, however, had found a way to hurt the solid. It fled the ghost, and the ghost had fallen lifeless. I had felt vaguely saddened. The ghost seemed to try to chase all of the solidness from the world with varying amounts of success. Perhaps--

"See something you like?" it asks, teeth gleaming in its smile. I am slightly taken aback. Normally, there is nothing to interrupt my musings.

"Forgive me," I say with a slight bow. "I am unused to seeing other things like myself."

"Yes, there are few enough of us left. Humans seem to grow less tolerant of shiners like us by the day."

"Humans? Shiners?"

It looks confused by my questions. "Well, what do you call them?"

"Call what?"

"Well, this body I reside in," it says, gesturing to the ghost surrounding him.

"Oh. I never knew they had a proper name. I simply thought them ghosts."

It laughs loudly. I could see a few of the humans, as it called them, look over, probably confused by the outburst. I can't say I understand it myself.

It notices my gaze. "Sorry. It's just, that's what they call shiners like you."

"Shiners?"

"We glow," it shrugs.

"How did you get inside the human?" I am genuinely curious. I wonder if it can see both as I see and as they see.

It smiles. "I Touched it."

Somehow, I knew that the "Touch" had a capital T. It was clearly no normal touch.

"Why?"

"I wanted to breed. And to see what it was like."

"Breed?" I had never seen solids created, only destroyed.

"You might have seen my children. They stay inside during the day, but come out during the full moon." It sighed. "Unfortunately, they are just children. They have no control and scare the humans. And the humans kill them."

I am moved by his words. I can see it is saddened and disturbed. I feel a kinship with him. This is the first shiner I had talked to in my long existance. Or was it long?

"I am sorry."

It looks surprised by my sympathy. "It is as it is. They want to breed to, but too soon. They are not ready. They rush in to Touch whomever they can. They do not even ask if they want to be Touched. And so their children are unhappy and perish."

I reach out a hand to it on impulse. I had never tried to touch a human or a shiner before, but I reached out to it. It looks taken aback by the outstretched hand, but it tentatively takes it. I have the odd double sensation of feeling the ghostly hand and the solid paw.

"I wish I could help them with the change," it says sadly, "but they leave, and I do not see them again."

I look up to the brightening moon. She is nearly full. I look back to the shiner before me.

"Come with me."

I start to rise, but the ghost inside him resists. I am slowed for a moment before I tug on the paw beneath and pull both with me above the cloudlike world around us. It looks frightened, and its grip tightens, but I look it in the eye and say, "Do not be afraid." The ghost still looks terrified, but the shiner beneath calms. I stop when I can see the whole city of clouds below. It looks down in wonder.

"It's amazing."

"It is only clouds."

It looks at me in wonder. "You only see clouds?"

"Like the ghosts, but immobile."

Its gaze changes, but I look down to the world below. I want to help. I focus through the rooves and walls and look for the shining solid beneath. I look through every floor of every building. I look through every street and every park. And then I see a flash. Just a little beyond the city, something is looking at up at the rising moon. I descend quickly, maintaining my grip on the shiner.

It lets loose a yell, partly of fear, partly of exhiliration as we go back to the surface of the world. Aware of his ghostly body, I slow, alighting gently on the ground not far from the ghostly shiner, yet far enough to not be seen. It looks ahead. "Why..." It trails off.

It looks back towards me. "Thank you."

I look back to him. "You are welcome. I hope all goes well." I turn to leave.

"Wait," it says, catching my hand. "What can I do for you?"

"Do for me?"

"You've done me a kindness. I'd like to do one for you."

I don't know what to say. I don't really want anything. I am just am. As a matter of fact, this one moment of activity has more purpose than I had ever felt or possibly ever will.

"Here," it said, holding out a paw again. "Let me show you how the world looks to us. How it used to look to you."

I reach out and grip the paw, a little confused. There was a moment of nothing and then--

*

The world is solid. I can scarcely believe my eyes. The colours were breathtaking. What was fog is firm. I could make out every blade of grass, every leaf on a tree. The stars are clear and twinkling, the moon more than a bright disk. I could see the human as a solid creature with skin and hair and eyes. The eyes I am looking through turn to see me, and the sight takes my breath away. I am ephemeral, foglike, unclear. I feel a sudden disorientation. Literally everything that was solid before was now transient.

But then the moon rises higher, and the light shines through my motionless body, illuminating it from within. I still do not look of this world, but I suddenly seem a part of it. My borrowed eyes look back to the human as it looks towards us. Its eyes flash in the moonlight and then--

*

It lets go of my hand. Everything is fog again, and it turns to help its child. I look at myself, solid again, lit by moonlight. It's as if nothing has changed. Yet I have changed.

The world is different now.