Reality
The story you are about to read is unusual in some respects; primarily, it is not a work of fiction. All the words that follow describe, with as much accuracy as possible, a series of actual events. I cannot ask you to believe them, for they are quite harsh. But they are true. I can only ask that you not feel sorry for the kitten you will read about, and that you read through, and reflect upon his past. All people on this earth undergo hardship. All undergo pain. But these feelings only make happiness more happy. Please, read this in full.
Reality
MAY, 1990:
A small kitten is seen, strapped into a high chair. Possibly malnourished, he is a small being, far smaller then most. He merely watches on, neither flinching back nor crying as his father takes out the extension cord; even at this young age, he knows that any such thing will result in further torment. Each blow is recieved in stoic silence, aside from a slight whimper that he simply cannot repress. His mother is at the store, and when the mom's away, the Beast will play. Once the beating is over, he is untied. But instead of being left in his room as usual, something... different.. occurs on this day. Though he cannot yet speak, he clearly understands at least some of the words. "You don't get it. You keep being bad." Of course, the kitten understands not. He tries to be good; he learns rapidly, attempts to play nicely with his elder sister, and is quiet. But it's not enough. It's never enough. "Today, you WILL learn." The father picks him up and carries him into the bedroom, throwing the tiny, fragile being onto his bed. Not understanding at all what's going on now, he's scared. This has never happened before. He watches in terror as his father unzips, revealing a massive piece of flesh. He is revolted, but knows not to resist Father's will. Thankfully, his screams are heard by a police officer in the area. He watches, sobbing and bleeding, as his Father is taken away. Mother comes home and tries to comfort him, but it is to no avail.
FEBRUARY, 1991
The kitten watches quietly. His uncles are here, and his aunt as well; he knows today is a day to enjoy, to have fun. The three year anniversary of his birth. He should be enjoying himself, but he is afraid. His sibling knows it's his birthday, and knows she can make it a living hell. He's so distracted and nervous that he doesn't realize she's behind him... one shove, he's at the bottom of the stairs. Unable to even cry through the pain. He blacks out.
JUNE, 1991
His sibling has tormented the kitten every day since. He's grown used to it; she blames him for Father leaving. He comes to think it's true, it's his fault. Somehow, he did something bad, and they took Father away. It's not so bad... pain isn't starting to really hurt anymore. Then sensation is still there, and intense, but.. it no longer matters. It's just another thing. Something to file away. Besides, no big bones have been broken. And he even got to spend time in a hot tub after she messed up his ankle! That was kinda fun.
September, 1993
The first day of school for the kitten. He's amazed by all the sights and sounds, and eager to take things in... but the teachers and fellow students are not as he'd hoped. The students are jealous of the fact that he reads so much better then them, and dislike his quiet nature. He is terrible at sports, however, so the students constantly injure him and get away with it because he's too clumsy to prove it's intentional, and wouldn't dare speak up anyway. The teachers whisper about him, too. They don't realize he can understand big words like 'mentally retarded', and 'learning disorder'. He knows what they mean... he's stupid. Why? Every test, he does well. It's not his fault they don't write clearly. The board is fuzzier then his sweater. Maybe they just don't understand him.
July, 1994
All the other students are talking about summer. Going over for sleepovers, parties... fun sounding things. He knows what awaits him, though. The kitten sighs, walking home on the last day. He is the only one alone; throughout the entire year, not one friend. That's okay. Maybe next year.
July, 1997
The kitten is crying. He no longer gets summer vacation; his mother has had him transferred into a program called 'BOCES', which is apparently for students with 'learning disabilities'. He doesn't understand why. His mother tells him it's because he isn't able to function in a normal school, that he's 'slow'. But he's not only honor roll, he's number one on it. He finished every test, often before the teacher was done passing them out, always with a 95 or higher. By the end of his second year, he was reading books even the principal couldn't. And yet... slow. All because the dumb board is blurry.
September-May, 1997-1998
His first day of 'normal' school in the new program. He knows he's different from the others here; for one, none of the other students read nearly as fast as he does. Some don't at all. The teachers assume he's like them, and take away his 'big boy books'. He sneaks more into class, learning how to add a false bottom to his backpack. Eventually, they catch on. He's learning things. Learning things very, very fast. Things they don't teach in an -advanced- school, let alone this one. When his mother finds out, it leads to fighting. Lots of it. Screaming, constantly. One side saying he's 'retarded beyond belief, unable to outthink a stone'. The other stating that 'he is one of, if not THE, most brilliant minds we've ever seen, including the advanced schools!'. He hides in his closet, clinging to a large plush lion he found a long time ago. He doesn't have a name for her, but she's a big comfort to him. She listens when he has things to say. She doesn't slap him when he cries. She's warm, and doesn't turn away when he needs a hug.
December, 2000
New Year's eve. He's sleeping out on the couch tonight; his mother and her boyfriend are in his room, doing... things. He's okay though. The couch is comfy, and he can sneak some time in watching The Discovery Channel, if he keeps it low. Of course, it's not long before the fireworks start, and he needs to bite his lip to keep from crying. He's a big boy, but they're... terrifying. Beyond belief. All loud noises are. They remind him of fighting, of violence. Of chaos. Of the past. But if he cries, they will be unhappy. He doesn't like them being unhappy... they yell... and his sister pummels...
February, 2001
He's trying again to not cry. The kitten is 13 now, and is certainly a big boy. It's okay that the hand-made cupcakes he brought in for his birthday were all eaten and he didn't get one. He can always make more. It's okay that noone even said 'thank you'. It's all okay. He's used to this all. It doens't matter at all, really. But still, he feels sad. Why? It's a normal thing. This is how things SHOULD be! And.... a new feeling. Something very, very unusual. He feels something... cold. Inside. Something dark. A little voice telling him to hurt them. That they have hurt him too much. He ignores it.
July, 2001
The kitten regains consciousness. He's... where? Behind the school . There's blood. Everywhere. A lot on his paws, and chest. There's several students lying on the ground, hurt, as well as the only teacher that's ever been nice. He's not hurt, aside from a couple of cuts and bruises. Them the memories come. They students came after him. And
the dark, cold voice took over. His teacher saw what was happening, but got in the way of the darkness and was beat down. The kitten gags violently and vomits, disgusted by what he's done, and terrified. He flees, somehow making it home and into his room. Thankfully, his sister is out with her boyfriend, and mother is out as well, so they don't hear him crying. Sleep comes slowly, but brings no rest.
UNKNOWN TIME IN 2002
He wakes up. There's a lump on his head the size of a baseball, and paramedics leaning over. He starts crying from the pain in his head, and from the realization that he can't see at all from his right eye. Nothing. Not even darkness. He overhears 'sister kicked him HOW far?'... 'lucky to be alive'... 'don't let him fall back asleep, he may never wake up!!', then blacks out.
October, 2002
The lump over his eye is finally gone. It turns out that his vision was already 20/300 in both eyes before the incident. Now, it's 20/300 left, 20/500 right. Legally blind without his glasses. The kitten feels himself growing... different. Strange. His feelings are fading, leaving blankness in their wake. And coldness. He no longer cares about the cruelness at school; he just ignores everything. Teacher, student, security, anyone that bothers him is ignored. His grades plummet, even though they shouldn't- he's being cut points for things like 'attitude' and 'letter shape'. It's because they want to hurt him. To turn him into one of them. Someone who hurts others for pleasure. He doesn't give in. He'll never give in. He shows no emotion to any except his lioness plushie.
June, 2004
The kitten, who is by now no longer a kitten, has discovered something wonderful. The internet. A vast maze of people and places, information! Somewhere he can LEARN, and not be punished for thinking! It's not too long before he discovers a true heaven. Telnet. A place where you can be anyone and anything you want. He swiftly signs up on several MUSHes, many which he is underage for at the time. He is never found out; he is careful. Years of putting up with torment and chaos have taught him to control his emotions, to think clearly. And most of all, to read people, and adapt. His many forms are never linked. Never. He finds... not happiness, but.. calm. In this place, there are people who care. People who realize he's not just some weird little kitten, but, in fact, intelligent. People who KNOW.
~April, 2006
He's met someone. Someone who will change his life. Forever. She's a lapine; one with a tough history but a very, very loving disposition. At first he's as usual towards her; cold. But... that fails to last. Over the course of a year, she breaks away many of his walls, helping him to become whole again. Through thick and thin. Even through the death of Misaluv, his dear plushie friend, who was lost to an enraged grandparent. She brings him back to life again, freeing him from the ice enveloping his heart and soul. Even though this awakens his darkness, his inner hatred, she is there to help him. She is always there. And... for once... he's.. happy. Happy to be alive. One day soon, he'll meet her in reality, not just through telnet. That day gives him hope.
August 8, 2007, 11:23 PM EST
He wobbles in his chair. The day was very, very harsh, the stress of the last week leading to a small emotional collapse. He's okay now, thanks to his friend. Just tired. It's very late, but he needed to finish typing while he could still think clearly enough. It's finally at an end; his memories of a lifetime of hell written into a simple .txt file. He slides back, having finished the spellcheck. His grammarcheck is undone; he never liked how it dissolved his sentance structure. A quick copy-paste, and it's uploaded to his two favorite sites, Yiffstar and Cub Central. Author name: DrKirre.