Shukkon - Regret
Shukkon - REGRET
By the Muse of Caprice and Whimsy (mocaw.deviantart.com)
This story, the setting, all characters, and their distinctive likenesses are the property of the MoCaW and may not be used without prior consent. This story may be distributed freely as long as it is distributed in its entirety without editing, and with this disclaimer block intact. In other words: please give credit where it is due, it's the decent thing to do. Thanks.
*****
I will begin my tale with a memory: one of many, it is true, but this one is important for its very mundane nature.
Buta-san the merchant roughly tears Hanabi-ko's lovely crane-patterned kimono from her body and begins groping her firm, sweet breasts, making her moan. The fat pig snuffles with excitement as he sucks on her nipples, clumsily stroking her firm stomach and back, curly little tail wagging back and forth. I wait until he is deep inside her, his fat, sweaty ass jiggling grotesquely as he fucks her from behind, before carefully taking aim and blowing a poisoned dart into his left buttock. He slaps at his ass, complaining about insects, then stares at the bamboo sliver in his hand. Shortly afterwards, the poison coursing through his veins reaches his excitedly beating heart, and he collapses, clutching at his chest, blue-black tongue lolling from his wide open mouth.
Almost instantly, Hanabi-ko is back on her feet, all traces of her former "ecstacy" now gone as she gathers up her belongings in a business-like manner, leaving her torn kimono where it lies. "You took your time there, Karasu-san," she says, sniffing derisively as she puts up her hair with a pair of jade hairpins. "For some time, I was wondering whether you were planning on allowing him to cum before you fired that dart."
"My apologies, Hanabi-ko-chan," I whisper, spreading my wings and fluttering down from my rafter perch. "It was difficult for me to get a good angle. The poison is most potent, and it was vital that I not strike you by accident."
"I'm glad for that, at least," she replies, before kicking the boar in the groin with her tiny, besandaled foot. "This disgusting fool had no concept of foreplay. The idea of pleasing a woman was totally alien to his tiny mind."
Some muffled cries from outside, and a splash of blood sprays across the rice-paper screen, signalling that our allies have just killed the merchant's guards. The door slides open, revealing the tall, lanky form of Hiroyuki, our chuunin squad leader. "Is the merchant dead?" he asks curtly.
"Yes, Hiroyuki-sama," Hanabi-ko replies, dropping to one knee and pressing the knuckles of her right hand to the ground. I follow suit with the wrist-joint of my right wing. "Karasu-san performed most admirably."
Hiro nods curtly, then leans over the dead pig, surveying my handiwork. "You should have aimed higher, then the wound would be easier to conceal with a sword-stroke," he says after a long pause. "Remember, the goal is to convince the Buta clan that their scion was assassinated by the Rakko clan, without implicating the Imperial house in any manner." He shrugs. "No matter. This will suffice."
He nods to someone outside the door. Kuma-san, a massive brown bear more than eight feet tall, ducks his head as he steps through the door of the abandoned house, carrying a small bundle over one massive shoulder. He lays it down at Hiro-sama's feet: it is a naked fox-girl, of similar height and build as Hanabi-ko, bound hand and foot and gagged. He draws his sword from its sheath and nods to Kuma to position her next to the dead pig.
"Is this truly necessary?" I ask.
"For the ruse to succeed, it must appear as if all are dead, even Hanabi-ko. Have no fear, Karasu-san. The girl is a common streetwalker without family. No one will miss her."
I bite back a protest as Hanabi-ko tugs at my sleeve. "Come, Karasu-san," she says softly, almost compassionately. "Your soft heart should not have to witness this."
I make the mistake of looking back once. The girl looks into my eyes, terrified, staring up at me in a mute appeal. Then Hiro raises his sword and steps between us. I turn away.
Her muffled shriek is almost drawn out by the sound of the screen closing like the very gate of hell itself.
*****
"It was one of my favorite kimonos." Hanabi-ko sighs with regret as she puts on the doomed girl's rougher garments, tying the slightly threadbare obi around her waist. "That disgusting individual had no appreciation for fine clothing. It will be difficult to replace."
I quietly unhook my fighting-claws from my wrists, trying to ignore Hanabi-ko's inane chatter. She hadn't always been like this: casually disregarding human life, throwing her body at men without a second thought, cold-eyed and even colder-hearted behind her beautiful facade. Once she had been a genuinely kind girl who loved flowers and fireworks: even her name, "hanabi-ko," meant "little firecracker." Then, one day, kashira Ookami-dono had called her into his chambers. The next time I saw her, she was clutching at her kimono and weeping next to a stream, refusing to allow me to touch or even talk to her.
Something broke inside her that day. Something that could never be fixed.
There was a sharp whistle from the trees, and I looked up to see Tokage-kun waving down at us from a branch before tracing a complicated sigil in the air. I nodded in reply. "Hiro-sama," I whispered. "Samurai approaching. Probably local magistrates."
Hiro-sama nodded as he wiped blood from his blade, dropping a Rakko clan crest next to the dead body of one of the guards. "Our work is done here. Kuma-san, you will carry Hanabi-ko in your arms. Karasu-san, take to the air. Split up and meet again at the village in two days."
We nodded to each other and disappeared into the darkness, Kuma carrying the much smaller and frailer Hanabi-ko in his arms.
*****
To this day, I am unsure why I chose to follow Kuma and Hanabi-ko, instead of flying my own way as I normally do.
Following a ninja from the air unseen is a difficult task, but I was an expert and had trained for long, hard hours on the art of disappearing against the night sky. Kuma and Hanabi-ko never knew I was shadowing them.
After a long night of traveling, the pair halted near a small glen by a river. Kuma gently placed Hanabi-ko on the ground, and the pair stretched out. I took a moment to find a perch near the top of a pine tree and pulled a rice ball from my belt pouch. Hanabi-ko and Kuma were settling down for a breather, eating a quick breakfast and washing up at the stream. I finished up my food, lowered my hite-ate headband over my eyes, and decided to take a nap.
The first sign I had of trouble was a muffled shriek about half an hour later. I raised my headband over one eye. Kuma had Hanabi-ko pinned to the ground with one massive paw as he undid his pants with the other.
Almost immediately, I dropped from the tree, spreading my wings silently as I glided to the forest floor below. I darted from shadow to shadow, finally taking cover behind a tall tree, ear cocked as I listened to their conversation.
"Kuma-chan. . . what are you doing?" Hanabi-ko gasped painfully.
"Kuma wants you," the big bear snarled, as he tore open her kimono with one claw. "Kuma wants to fuck you."
"But I've slept with you before!" Hana-chan cried out as he backhanded her across the face. "If you wanted, all you had to do was. . ."
"NO!" the brute roared. "You is not with ME! You is with HIM! In your mind, you is with someone else every time!" Hana whimpered as he began kissing her roughly, huge tongue lapping over her small face like some grotesque animal. "You is pretending Kuma is bird-boy. . . maybe you is pretending EVERYONE you fuck is bird-boy!" He began stroking his massive member with his paw, and the thing slowly came erect: it was nearly as big around as my wrist, I noted idly, as I slowly raised my blowgun to my lips.
A split second later, Kuma slapped his hand to his neck and laughed. "Even better," he snarled. "Bird-boy is here." He picked up Hanabi-ko roughly by the waist, pressing his razor-sharp claws to the side of her neck as he turned to face me. "Come out, bird boy, or Kuma will tear open pretty-girl's throat."
I stepped out from the shadows, blowgun still perched between my wrist-spurs. "You're dead already, Kuma-tan," I said mockingly. "You just don't know it yet. There was enough poison on that dart to kill ten men. Even someone as big as you can't survive that much adder venom."
Kuma just laughed, turning to reveal a massive snake-shaped brand on his upper left shoulder, and my heart sank like a rock. "Kuma not think so. Me is protected by Lady Death-fang herself. Your poisons not hurt Kuma."
Lady Death-fang was the clan's mistress of poisons in those days: a thoroughly despicable character who occasionally would "train" promising adepts in what she called "the art of the sleek death." Those who failed were either driven mad or died screaming in agony. Those who completed her gruelling month-long program were rendered immune to all known poisons and were branded with the mark of the snake, for just as the snake is immune to its own venom, so we had become immune to the poisons we carried. I carried the same symbol on my left cheek, right behind my beak.
That little brand on Kuma's shoulder meant that I had just lost my one advantage in battle. I could escape to the air, but that would mean leaving Hanabi-ko to Kuma's brutal depredations. In every other aspect, he had the advantage: height, reach, power, weapons. Perhaps I could beat him at speed, but it didn't matter: none of my weapons could take him down in one strike, and all he needed was a single swipe of one of those massive paws to shatter my hollow bones and break me like a turtle hurled against the rocks.
My only chance was to stall until a chance presented itself. "Why are you doing this, Kuma?" I asked quietly, as I advanced towards him, wings held out to the sides to show that I carried no weapons. "We are clan-brothers. Have we not all sworn oaths of blood-brotherhood to each other? I have never withheld anything from you. All I own is yours."
"No, not all!" Kuma snarled, as he pressed his claws closer to Hana-chan's neck. "You take pretty-girl's love." His head bowed slightly. "Me knows me am not smart. . . or pretty. . . me am just big, stupid brute." He snarled at me again, eyes filled with fresh fury. "But me will show pretty-girl who is best. . . me will kill you, and she will see Kuma is best ninja."
I sighed. "Kuma-san," I said softly, "You're mistaken." I turned to Hanabi-ko, still clutched in his grasp. "Tell him, Hana-chan," I whispered. "Tell him I'm nothing to you," I said, as I slowly lowered a wing to my side.
Hanabi-ko closed her eyes and lowered her head. "Tell him!" I shouted. "Tell him I'm nothing to you, or he'll kill us both!" I pleaded.
She looked up at me quietly, and time came to a halt. "I'm sorry," was all she said.
Kuma howled and threw her to the ground, shrieking in terror. His massive paw drew back for the killing blow. I flipped the egg-shell grenade I kept at my left fist straight into his face. It exploded in a white, acrid cloud of choking dust. I darted forward as quickly as possible, grabbing her by the left paw as we disappeared into the trees, leaving Kuma coughing uncontrollably and lashing out blindly in his rage.
"We can't run forever!" Hana-chan gasped. Behind us, we could hear a thundrous crashing as Kuma barreled through the trees like an unstoppable juggernaut. "We can't fight him. . . we're going to die. . ."
"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL HIM YOU DON'T LOVE ME!" I screamed, as we leaped up into the low branches.
She turned to look at me as we fled. "Because there are things that the heart will not allow you to say," she said quietly. "There are some lies too terrible to be spoken."
I stopped. "Then you do love me," I said quietly.
Hana nodded. "It is my secret shame," she whispered.
"Then it is mine as well." Our eyes met, and we nodded to each other before turning back to face our deaths.
But that death never came. As Kuma staggered towards us, something came over him, and he collapsed, clutching at his chest, his black tongue lolling out of his mouth. With a last whimper of "Pretty-girl. . ." he died.
I stepped down from the trees, wing-claws held ready in case this was some kind of trick. Kuma didn't move, even when I threw a shuriken into his wide-open eye. "He's dead," I whispered. "The poison worked. . . but how? Anyone who has gone through Lady Death-Fang's training should be immune to poisons like those."
Hanabi-ko sighed sadly. "We were both so stupid," she said softly, as she closed his eyes. "Do you really think that Lady Death-Fang would have deigned to train a fool like Kuma-san? He must have thought that it was the brand itself that protected one against poisons." She shook her head. "He probably stole the brand and used it on himself. Poor fool."
*****
We buried his body under some rocks and returned to the stream, where I took a moment to wash Hanabi-ko's wounds.
"I have killed a fellow clan-brother," I said, at long last. "Ookami-kashira will find out, and he will have me killed for this crime."
"Then he will have to kill two ninja, not one." She turned and fixed me with a long, steady gaze. "For he will have to kill me before I allow him to lay one finger on you."
"And I the same. But there is an alternative to dying. . . for a short time, at least."
Hanabi-ko knew immediately what I was talking about. "To leave the clan. . . run away. We would become apostates. Hunted. The Oi-shinobi would seek our blood forever. They are relentless. . . cruel."
"This is true. We cannot run forever." I paused. "But we can run for a while. And for that short while, at least, we can love each other."
Hana-chan nodded and rested her head against my feathered chest. "For a while, at least, we can love each other," she repeated. Her fingers stroked my chest down to my waist, where they began to undo the ties on my clothing.
"We don't have time for that," I said, although I didn't stop her as she undid my clothing and slid my tunic off over my shoulders. "We should start running now."
"Hiro-sama will not be expecting us for another day, and even when he starts looking, it will take a long while for him to find us. Kuma-san did not take the normal routes back to the village." She lowered her face to my groin, pushed aside my loincloth to reveal my already erect member. "And. . . this once, I want to do for you what I have never done before for any man." She gently took me in her mouth, and I dissolved into bliss.
*****
We made love over and over and over again by that stream, and fell asleep, in the end, in each other's arms. Forgive me if I do not say more, for that day is precious to me. That day, the last truly happy day of my life, before my love was cruelly taken from me by fate. Perhaps it was a sin in a former life that determined that she and I would never find happiness together, that which the Buddhists call karma, or shukkon.
So I beg you, please allow this broken soul to keep the memory of this day, at least, hidden in my heart, a single spark of purity amongst so much pain and cruelty.
*****
And now I will tell you of the cruel fate that met us by that river.
I awoke to find Hanabi-ko straddling me, her eyes turned to the starry heavens. There was a deep sadness in her pale green eyes, and regret. "It is too late," she said softly. "We should not have tarried so."
Still addled with sleep, I did not understand the meaning of her words. "Then let us leave now, before too much more time passes."
She smiled sadly at me, leaned forward and kissed me gently on the cheek one last time. "Forgive me, sweet love," she said, at last, and I could see that she held her dagger in her hands.
There was a sudden disturbance in the underbrush. She arched her back and raised her hands in the air, unsheathing the blade with a single, swift motion, her lovely naked body silhouetted against the full moon. She had never looked so beautiful, even as I saw my own death in that beauty.
Hiroyuki-sama darted forward from the shadows and separated her head from her neck with a single, deft stroke of his katana. Her neck sprayed hot blood all over my face and neck as it toppled forward into my arms.
*****
"We found Kuma-san's body a short distance away. She had stabbed him in the back of the neck with one of her hairpins," Hiro-sama told me later. "She must have seduced and killed him, then waited for you to come by. If we had not stopped her, she would have killed you too." He shook his head. "I am still amazed that we could have harbored an enemy for so long. I wonder who she worked for. . . the Rakko clan? Perhaps the Koumouri or Neko ninja. No matter, she is dead now."
It is all a lie, of course. Hanabi-ko must have realized that Hiroyuki was drawing nearer at some point in the night, that cruel fate had dictated that his path back to the village would cross our own. She returned to the woods and stabbed Kuma-san in the back of the neck with her hairpin to hide the mark of my dart. Then she returned to me and played out the last act of her drama, and in so doing, saved my life.
Hiro-sama seemed to accept my explanation that I had come across Hanabi-ko sitting on a rock, and that she had told me that she and Kuma had parted ways some time before. Perhaps you think me a cur for choosing life over truth, for not speaking the truth about my love for my sweet little firecracker-girl, but what good would that have done me? The woman whom I loved was dead, and there was no longer any reason for me to leave the clan.
Like Hanabi-ko herself on the day that she entered Ookami-kashira's quarters, something inside me had broken. It broke when her headless corpse fell into my arms, and nothing in this world or the next could ever fix it.
Many years have passed since that day, and so many have died. Ookami-kashira, Hiro-sama, Lady Death-Fang, Tokage-kun, all have crossed over to rest in Buddha's embrace. I am old now, and my black feathers have long been tinged with gray. Now the young shinobi kneel to me, and call me Karasu-Kashira - the crow master of our clan.
Today, my aide tells me, Yamamaya chuunin will bring a young girl to my quarters - one of the young kunoichi under his care, and one he feels will grow up to be especially beautiful. I am told that she is called Age-hachou-chan, named after the swallow-tailed butterflies that she adores and collects.
I wonder what I will do when she arrives.
- END -