After The Music Fades

Story by Artide on SoFurry

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The brown coyote's eyes fell down to the one thing he was avoiding until now, and he took in the sight of the contract in front of him. Ironclad and neatly-pressed, every typed letter spelt out the same thing: that his ten long years of work were starting to pay off. It was beautiful, and it was all Sean could do to stop himself from digging his claws into his skin to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"If I sign this..." Sean started, unsure. He looked over the desk at the wolf across from him, who was wearing a tightly pressed suit over a slightly bulging stomach. The wolf dipped his grey-muzzled head congenially, rubbing a paw over the surface of a glossy pen.

"If you sign this, Mr. Rayne," he said. "Then everything you've worked for will finally come to fruition. You will become an employee of Sled Dog Records." Sean looked down at the pen in the wolf's paw and reached out for it. This was everything he had wanted it to be, ever since he was a kid. The fame, the glamour...the chance for millions of people to hear him was only a pen stroke away. The coyote nodded and the wolf's wizened muzzle spread into a soft grin as he handed the pen to the coyote. Sean looped his signature over the dotted line and let out a deep breath.

"Good. Now we can finally talk about getting your music out there. I have your demo, but you'll be meeting with a lot of people over the next few days to talk about re-recording and some other...changes. I hope you're prepared." The wolf offered a paw for Sean to shake.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Crozier," Sean said gratefully, shaking the proffered paw.

"Well, I'd have to admit, the several...excuse me...hundred letters you sent me finally grabbed my attention. If you were that serious about wanting to at least have your 15 seconds of fame, I thought I would just give it a shot," Mr. Crozier said, grabbing his glass of water and pressing the cool rim to his lips, eyeing Sean over the top. The coyote grinned bashfully and looked away.

"Yeah, well..." he started, but the wolf raised a paw to quiet him.

"No matter," said Mr. Crozier. "That's that and now we're on the road to your success." Sean barely stopped his twitching tail from breaking out into a full-on wag. He bit back an embarrassed flush. He was pushing thirty, he admonished himself. He wasn't a pup anymore.

"So what are we going to do fi--" Sean was interrupted by a series of loud beeps coming from his pocket. Embarrassed, he fished around in his pocket and unearthed his cell phone. The coyote flipped it open and scanned the message.

HOW IS IT GOING?

The message was from Connor, of course. Couldn't his boyfriend go five minutes without having to check in on him? He gave a sigh of embarrassment and annoyance, and looked up sheepishly at Mr. Crozier, who raised an expectant eyebrow.

"Is there a problem?" he asked. Sean flattened his ears at the obvious disapproval in the wolf's voice and opted to leave his phone in the car next time.

"No...it's fine," replied the coyote. He pushed the power button, watching his boyfriend's message and the backlit flicker to black, effectively silencing the fennec. He slid the phone back into his pocket.

***

By the time Sean made it back to his car, it was already well into the night. The sun had set a couple of hours ago, and the parking lot seemed empty and forlorn. Still, he couldn't help the grin that found its way onto his muzzle. He spent the time with the older wolf making schedules, setting up his calendar for studio time and public appearances. He got into his car and fished for his phone again before turning it back on. He knew Connor had probably sent a bit more messages to him during the meeting. He sighed as the messages popped up, one after the other:

I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

I LOVE YOU, BABY.

ARE WE STILL CELEBRATING TONIGHT?

IT'S GETTING PRETTY LATE...

OKAY, WELL I'M JUST GOING TO EAT. WE'LL GO OUT TO DINNER TOMORROW. LOVE YOU.

I'M GOING TO BED NOW. GOODNIGHT, BABY.

Sean groaned irritably, flipping the phone shut and throwing it into the passenger seat. Sometimes, the fox was just too...smothering. He glared down at the phone next to him, as if he could will his annoyance through the lines to the sleeping fox who awaited him at home. Didn't he know how important this was? After so long, the coyote was finally realizing his dream. He didn't have time for Connor to be bothering him by sending him a slew of spammed text messages. Didn't the fox understand?

He pushed back his thoughts on the fox and thought more about everything he discussed with Mr. Crozier, the CEO of Sled Dog Records. Just the thought of it made his tail wag. He was scheduled to go to a party and meet some of the people he'd be working with, as well as some musicians who were famous in their own rights.

Sean's elation carried him home and up the stairs to the apartment he shared with Connor for the past six years. He had always hated the apartment. It was too small to comfortably do anything: music, have friends over, live in. But right now it was all they could afford with Connor working a crappy retail job and Sean spending more of his time on the guitar instead of on the clock.

As the coyote opened the door to his home, he kicked off his shoes and flipped on the light behind him. The tiny apartment was thrown into light, and he glanced around at the sparse furniture and cramped space. Still, he thought, moving past the cheery decorum placed by Connor, it was as homely as it could be. Sean turned the light off and found his way into the bedroom, where Connor was already fast asleep. Stripping his clothes, he quietly slid into the bed and stared at the dark wall next to him.

As unhappy as he was with the apartment, this would definitely be the first thing he would change, Sean thought. When he got his first paycheck from Sled Dog Records they would move out. He deserved better than this. He glanced at the sleeping fox in the bed next to him. So did Connor. The little fox had done so much for him the past few years they were together; Sean wanted to make this happen with the record label so he could give Connor the life they were meant to live. They were meant to have the best things, the coyote thought. Living the life of luxury. And he was finally going to realize that dream.

He curled against the side of his fennec and drifted off into a warm, comforting sleep.

***

Sean woke to domestic sounds of pots and pans moving around and the smell of bacon rising from the kitchen. He searched around for Connor but found the bed next to him empty. He walked groggily down the small hallway into the kitchen and saw Connor flipping some pancakes. Sean eyed the plate of bacon on the counter and reached out to grab one, munching on it lazily as he regarded the fennec. Connor stood a little less than a head shorter than him, his fur a sandy brown common to most fennecs. His ears were large and perked,

"It's not like you to get up early," he slurred sleepily. Connor grinned at him, a patch of white dust marking splotches on his small fennec muzzle and large brown ears. Sean smiled in response, watching his adorable boyfriend work.

"It's not like you to get a record deal," Connor replied, setting down the pancakes. Sean grinned at that, the memories of last night's proceedings made him almost giddy with glee.

"Yeah, big things are happening."

The fennec hummed, preparing the table for breakfast. "It's a shame we didn't get to go out last night..." he said, setting down a glass of orange juice that Sean picked up and started draining. He set the glass down again.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I didn't know it would be so long."

Connor smiled, brushing against Sean softly as moved to sit down in front of his pancakes. "Don't worry about it. We can go out tonight?" Sean's smile slowly fell and Connor didn't miss the pause.

"Busy?"

"Meeting a lyricist."

"Tomorrow?"

"Studio time."

"After that?"

"More studio time."

"Oh..."

Sean saw the saddened look on the fennec's face and sighed. He moved to intercept the fox on his way back to the counter for a pitcher of water and wrapped his paws around him. Connor leaned back half-heartedly.

"You knew how busy I was going to be when I went in to talk with them at Sled Dog...remember we talked about this?" Sean said.

Connor nodded. "And I'm trying to be all supportive-guy over here. I just didn't think you'd be this busy..."

Sean gave the fox a squeeze. "I know, hon. But we all have to make sacrifices."

"Well, when will you be free next?" Connor asked, twisting to be face to face with the coyote. Sean shrugged.

"Saturday, maybe?"

"You promise?"

"Connor..." The fennec gazed at him expectantly and he sighed.

"Okay, I'll call off any potential stuff. Saturday it is."

***

Saturday night seemed to come too quickly for Sean, and even though ran himself ragged hopping from place to place in order to keep up with his hectic schedule, everything seemed to be running smoothly. Connor had resigned himself to the fact that the coyote would be out of the house the majority of the time.

The restaurant they chose was a small romantic hide-away in the corner of the city, hidden by the tall skyscrapers of the business district. It was within fair walking distance from their apartment and perfect for when they wanted to celebrate or just renew the more romantic side of their relationship. Once they entered the small door into the restaurant, the coyote and fennec took in the ambiance of the room; everything from the glass chandeliers to the chic table clothes and candle-lit glow.

The waitress, a snow leopard, led them to their seats in the corner facing a window before placing menus down in front of them.

Sean looked at Connor from across the table and sucked in a breath. Sitting under the dim lighting, with a candle highlighting his face, the fennec looked beautiful. Sean looked at him and saw everything that he had fallen in love with when they first got together.

"I'm...sorry we weren't able to do this before," Sean said, playing with his glass. Connor shrugged.

"Don't be sorry about it. I just...miss you when you're out, and I gotta understand that you can't be here sometimes." The fox looked across the table at show and offered a small smile. "You're realizing your dream, and I said I would support you."

Sean leaned forward, ignoring the dancing flame from the candle. The coyote knew Connor well enough to know when he wasn't telling the whole truth.

"But?" He sensed all of the words Connor didn't want to say; the insecurities and doubts and implications that hung in the air. He watched as the fox's ears folded back.

"I don't want to lose you."

They were silent for a while, the only sounds the light chatter around them and the various clinking of silverware on plates. Sean considered the statement for a minute, trying to find the right words. He could write a million different songs about this, but it was hard to find the right thing to comfort Connor.

"Con...you're never gonna lose me. I always come back home to you."

The fennec sighed, turning away and rubbing his arm slowly.

"I know that," he said. "But it doesn't help when I spend my nights alone."

"I'll try to be home more, for you?"

"I don't want you to ruin your schedule for my sake."

Sean took a small sip of his drink, thinking of what to say as the water flooded his mouth. He swallowed and regarded Connor curiously. The fennec turned to gaze at him.

"Sometimes I wish we were just sitting at home curled up on a Saturday night, watching bad television and falling asleep to old reruns."

"Like we always did?"

Connor nodded.

"Sometimes..." Sean started. "Things change. And it sucks, but think of how much better off we'll be when this takes off."

"I guess..." said Connor.

"So are we okay?"

"Yeah..."

The coyote grabbed Connor's paw in his. The fox squeezed tightly and they held their gaze, and suddenly it was just them in the world.

***

"One, two, three, four..."

Sean strummed the guitar, fiddling with a slow, melancholy tune that reverberated throughout the entire sound booth. His voice wrapped around the somber chords with lyrics he wrote one summer after a huge fight he had with Connor. It was about love and loss, and even though a million other artists have a million songs about it, this one was personal. It was his.

As the song came to a close, he pulled the guitar to his side, wincing at the strain in his arms. This was hour six or seven - he had lost count after a while - of an intensive recording day and they only had one and a half songs out of it. His arms were sore and his vocal chords were strained and tired.

"Alright boys," the bear at the mixing table said. "That's a wrap for today. See you tomorrow, bright and early."

Sean got off of his stool, wincing when the soreness from the session got to him. He wobbled his way out to get his things, desperately wanting a nap. When he turned to leave the studio he noticed Mr. Crozier making his way inside. Sean made a beeline for him and stopped to shake his paw.

"What are you doing here?" Sean asked when all of the pleasantries were out of the way.

"Well," Mr. Crozier said. "You're what I call an investment, and I always like to check up on my investments. It has been a couple weeks since you signed the contract."

"Oh..." Sean said, a bit confused and hurt that Mr. Crozier implied that he wasn't doing his work, especially after the hellish session.

"Well, it's all standard procedure anyway. You just got done with a recording session?"

Sean nodded and held up his guitar, which he had put in its case a few minutes prior.

"Excellent. Well, you're free to go then. I just want to check on today's progress."

"If you want me to stay, sir..."

"Nonsense!" the old wolf laughed. "Go out, have fun. And be back bright and early and ready to record more."

"Yes sir!"

Mr. Crozier reached into his pocket and slipped a bill into the coyote's paw. Sean opened his paw and stared at the bill for a second before looking up at the wolf.

"Sir, I can't take this..."

"Just think of it as a bonus, Mr. Rayne, and nothing more. Go out and relax, as I said, and feel ready to do some more good work tomorrow."

"Well...thank you sir," the coyote said. The wolf nodded and Sean strode outside, his paws reaching for his phone. He punched in a number and brought the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Get ready, Connor. We're going out tonight."

***

The restaurant Sean chose was one of the more upscale ones, and with good reason. He needed some way to reassure Connor that he still cared about him, and the money Mr. Crozier had given him was more than enough to cover it.

Connor had been surprised but excited, ready to leave as soon as Sean pulled into the parking lot of their apartment.

They were about to be seated when the familiar hum of his cellphone vibrated. Connor gave him an annoyed look.

"I thought we agreed not to take our cellphones?" he said, his ears turning down. Sean hushed him with a wave of his paw.

"I know, I know. But since I got this deal I make sure to have it on me at all times. It's unprofessional not to," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the phone.

"Well, it's kinda rude to have it when we're celebrating, right?" Connor said, but sighed and turned in to the restaurant to find a seat. Sean flipped open his phone and stared at the screen.

The call was from Mr. Crozier, the wolf he had met from Sled Dog Records. He pressed the phone to his ear and spoke softly.

"Hello Mr. Crozier."

"Good evening, Mr. Rayne. I trust everything is going okay?" Sean could hear the sounds of cars rushing by in the background; the wolf must have been calling from his car.

"Yes sir. Just doing some celebrating with my...um...boyfriend." The coyote winced; he wasn't sure how that particular bit of information would pass over with the company. The wolf just chuckled.

"I'm glad to see you're enjoying the fruits of your labor, then," replied the wolf.

Sean wagged in relief, and held the phone more closely to his muzzle. "Yep! We're at this nice Italian restaurant."

"Well good for you, kid. Sometime you and I should meet up, and we'll talk about some more public appearances, maybe some talk shows..."

Sean's eyes widened at this and he pressed the phone harder to his ear hastily to see if he heard right. Talk shows? That would be everything he wanted. For people to get to know him, to see his art and hear his messages...it was everything he ever dreamed of. All the time in the studio and doing all of the prep work for his debut album just seemed tedious, like he wasn't getting anywhere. But a talk show...

"Why don't you come over now and we can talk?" he said before he could stop and think about it.

"Are you sure?" Mr. Crozier asked incredulously.

"Yeah, Connor won't mind. Especially not about something as important as this."

"Well, okay then. Where is it?"

Sean gave him the details and hung up, heading into the restaurant to tell Connor the good news. A talk show...the coyote was finally becoming the celebrity he was meant to be.

When he got to the table, Connor was idly nibbling on the tip of a breadstick. He looked contemplative and spacey, staring straight at the wall next to him. When he saw the coyote he snapped and gave Sean a beaming smile.

"What was that about?"

"Well, it was one of the bigwig executive guys down at Sled Dog Records," Sean said proudly. "He wants to talk to me and my publicist about booking some talk shows and future events...maybe some live venues..."

"That's great..." Connor said.

"You think so? Great. So you won't mind that I invited him to dinner?"

"You did what?" Connor hissed, trying to keep his voice low so no one else could hear them. Sean shrugged.

"We're celebrating anyway. The more the merrier, eh?"

"'The more the merrier' implies that you're hanging out with your friends and celebrating. Not your boss."

"I don't see what the big deal is," Sean said casually, lounging back in the chair.

"This was the first time we could even get out here...I thought it was just going to be you and me."

"Well, it was. Things change," Sean said.

"But...without talking to me..."

"Connor, don't worry about it," the coyote said, reaching over and placing a paw on the fennec's arm. Connor stiffened under it.

They waited like that for several long minutes. Neither one of them talked but Sean could sense the distress in the fox underneath him. He started to wonder if calling Mr. Crozier over was such a good idea, but before he could think about it more Sean made out Mr. Crozier, in his finely-pressed suit, entering through the doorway behind Connor. Sighing, Sean waved him over.

Sean nodded and waved his arm. The wolf caught the signal, nodded, and headed towards them, taking a seat next to Connor. When he got to the table, he smiled politely at them both.

"Hello Mr. Rayne," the wolf said, moving to shake the coyote's paw.

"Hi Mr. Crozier," he said.

"And who's this?" the wolf asked, glancing over at Connor, who managed a smile small.

"This is my boyfriend, Connor," Sean introduced. Connor shook the wolf's paw before slumping back into his seat. When Mr. Crozier sat down, the fennec put his paws on the table lightly.

"I was just going to go home," Connor said slowly, pushing himself up. He turned to Mr. Crozier. "Thanks for taking the time to come down here. I'm just not feeling well." He turned to Sean, and the coyote didn't miss the upset look on the fox's face. "I'll see you at the house."

"Connor--" Sean started, but the fennec was already gone. The wolf across from them looked confused.

"Is everything okay, Mr. Rayne?" he said, with a polite air that Sean knew meant he was more interested than he appeared.

"Yeah," he said. "Connor just feels a bit sick."

The wolf didn't say anything, but Sean could tell from his expression that he knew Sean was lying.

"Don't worry about it," Sean said nervously. Mr. Crozier nodded and pulled a manila folder from his briefcase.

"Maybe we should start on business stuff," the wolf said. Sean nodded slowly, but stole a glance at the door Connor had gone through. He knew that it was a mistake to bring work into their date, but he had a good reason! This would only help them both. Why couldn't Connor see that? He would have to cheer up the fox when he got home, maybe do something special to cheer him up.

"Mr. Rayne?" The wolf was staring at him with mild curiosity. "Should we do this another time?"

"No," Sean said. "No, it's alright."

***

The apartment was dark when Sean had finally made it home. He could see the flickering of the television and knew that Connor was still awake, no doubt waiting for him to get home. He found the fennec resting in a small armchair. The coyote coughed loud enough to make the fennec's large ears swivel backward, followed by the rest of his head.

"How was dinner?" Connor asked. Sean tried to catch any bitterness in his tone but was met with only curiosity.

"You tell me. What happened back there?"

The fennec got up from the chair and sighed.

"I didn't want to cause a scene in front of your boss or these other people, so I left."

"Why did you have such a problem?"

"Because," Connor said. "I feel like I'm losing you."

"What do you mean?" Sean asked, his ears folding down.

"I just...wished you were around more, that's all," the fennec said. "Tonight was the first time in weeks we could celebrate. You signed that contract, and..."

"I've told you, I've been busy. Meetings after meetings. Studio hours after studio hours. You know that I'd be working this much," Sean said. "You knew that Connor nodded, but his gaze was hard.

"But to ruin dinner with me just to squeeze in a date with some other bigwig executive? Every single time I try to be with you, something else comes up. Is it ever going to stop? Or am I just someone you come to out of convenience when you want to come home to a real relationship? When you want to crawl in bed and have something warm. Is that all I am to you now?" Sean opened his mouth and closed it suddenly. In the six years since he's known the fennec, even in their most heated arguments, he had never acted like this.

"I just want my boyfriend back..." The fennec said.

"Why are you so selfish?!" Sean burst out, and Connor looked surprised. "I need this to happen...people need to hear me, Connor."

The silence hung in the air again. Connor rubbed his paws down his arms as if hit by a sudden gust of cold wind.

"Why is it so hard for you to come home?" Connor asked quietly.

"Because, Connor," Sean yelled, slamming his paw on the table and making the fennec jump. "This isn't good enough! I've lived in this crap apartment for too long. I've been poor for too long. I've been nobody! Don't you understand?"

The fennec was silent for a minute, and Sean looked up in surprise to see a tear sliding down Connor's muzzle. The fox gave a meaningful look to Sean that made him pause.

"I'm sorry," Connor choked out, his voice barely steady. "I'm sorry that you're so unhappy with your life. I've done all I could to make this place better. Hell, I even worked two jobs to get where we are. I didn't know that you hated living with me that much."

"Connor...that's not what I meant..." Sean started, but an uncharacteristic glare from the fox silenced him.

"Isn't it? Do you think this record deal is going to make you happy?" Connor asked. Sean dug his claws into the cheap wood of the table.

"Yes," he hissed. "Why wouldn't it?"

"I've been with you long enough to know you, Sean." The fennec turned his muzzle to the coyote. "You've been working on your music longer than we've been together. That's the only time I saw you when you were free and genuinely happy. After all that time, do you think you need the validation of other people to tell you you're good?"

"Why can't you just be happy for me?" Sean whispered. The fox sighed.

"I am more than happy for you. Why is it that you can't be happy for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not going to be satisfied until you have it all, huh? The fame, the fortune? Is that what it's gonna take to make you happy?"

With that, Connor left Sean standing in the kitchen. The coyote let out a long, deep sigh before slumping against the worn wood of the countertop in front of him.

Sean pushed himself up from the counter and walked into the small room that had served as his office and studio since he had moved in with Connor. The room itself was small, barely able to be called a bedroom. Sean had often found it cramped and claustrophobic and hard to work or think, but he had pushed through it in the past. And now where was he? Signing record deals with the most famous music industry ever. Sean flicked on the light and took in the sight of the room. Papers were strewn over the desk, pieces of old music sheets and compositions Sean had half-finished.

Was Connor right? Was he selling out? Sean didn't want to think about it; he turned towards the papers on the desk instead, shuffling them around until he came across a page with a few lines messily scrawled on them. They were lyrics he wrote for Connor, back when they were still young and foolish. He smiled briefly before the smile faded and left behind an old, tired coyote.

***

"Sean, that's the third time you missed your cue."

The coyote looked up through the glass window.

"I know, Jake. I'm sorry," Sean said.

"I think that's enough for today," the bear called into the microphone. Sean nodded dumbly and backed from the microphone. He stared at it as if it was alien. He couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling that something was wrong and he couldn't put his finger on it. He couldn't push the image of the heartbroken fennec from his mind.

Sean opened the door to the room, trying to ignore the other musicians cleaning up from his botched session. He could still feel their eyes on him. He knew what they were thinking behind the polite smiles and small talk: the amateur was screwing up already. He growled low under his breath and clenched his fists together, the nails digging into the skin of his palm. He wasn't some amateur that was fumbling around for the first time. He's been at this for ten years!

Sean stormed out of the room, down the hallway and into the small locker room where the rest of his belongings were. As he was throwing stuff into his backpack, he tried calming down. He didn't know why he was so worked up.

A noise from outside drew his attention down a hallway, where Jake, a bear, was calling out to him.

"Sean," Jake waved over to him. The coyote put his backpack down and gave the bear a questioning look. "I wanna have a word with you."

"Shoot," the coyote said, sitting down on the bench and tapping the wood with a paw. Jake didn't take the offer but glanced up and down at Sean searchingly.

"Are you okay?"

Sean was taken aback by the question, especially after the look Jake gave him. He looked at the bear in front of him, as if he wasn't sure if it was a trick question or not. He decided to go the safer route and play it casual.

"Yeah...it's going good," he replied.

"I've known you for a bit now," the bear said. Sean nodded.

"Yeah, it's been a few months."

"Of working ten hours a day. Point is, when it comes to the business, I know you. And I know what happened in there was not you." Jake nodded towards the sound booth, and Sean could feel his ears tilt back in disappointment. "You're better than that, man. I know it. You know it. So I'm gonna ask you again, and I don't want you to lie to me."

"I'm fine," Sean said again. The bear looking at him helplessly before sighing.

"Okay...I know we're not really that close outside of the studio, but if you ever need someone--"

"You'll be the first one I talk to."

The bear grinned for a minute but sobered up. "You're slipping Sean. Don't overdo it." His face turned serious before he went back through the doorway, leaving the coyote standing there and absently picking at a loose thread in his backpack.

***

Sean sat staring out the window to their apartment. It didn't have any majestic view, but the sparse park below always made Sean feel a bit calmer. He was waiting for Connor to come home so he could try and fix the past few months to him. All of the long hours and cancelled spending time was having a strain on the fennec, and Sean felt bad about it. His phone started beeping, and he flipped his phone mindlessly and held it up to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Good evening, Mr. Rayne," a voice on the other side of the phone said. Sean sighed under his breath. He was not in the mood for more work talk.

"Good evening, Mr. Crozier," the coyote responded.

"It has come to my attention that things haven't been going well in the studio lately," the wolf said. Sean noticed he sounded agitated.

"Things have been pretty difficult for me late--"

"I don't want to hear it, Mr. Rayne," the wolf growled suddenly over the phone. Sean bit his lip in surprise. Mr. Crozier had always been so genial to him; it was unnerving to hear the angry voice over the phone. Sean snapped back to the phone to pay attention to the wolf.

"You are contractually obligated to keep working," the wolf was saying. "I don't think you want to throw away the past ten years because you're not 'feeling well.'"

"I've been doing the best I can," Sean said in defense. He could hear a dry laugh from the other side of the phone.

"The best you can? You have talent, kid. But so do a million other hopefuls in this country. Talent means nothing without the drive to see it through."

"Drive?" Sean laughed. "You think after so long I lack the drive? That I don't want it enough?"

"Obviously something's changed if you're going from a nice, hardworking guy into a slacker."

"I'm not a slacker," Sean said, narrowing his eyes at the implication. "I've been going through a rough patch."

"Rough patches last a few days, maybe a week. Not months."

Sean sighed and rubbed the bridge of his muzzle. Had it really been that long since things had gone downhill?

"Listen, kid..." Mr. Crozier said. "I like you. I think you have what it takes to make it really big. Which is why I am giving you a second chance. There's a party at Eva Busch's house."

"That famous rabbit musical artist?" Sean asked, surprised.

"Yes. Impress her and you'll be set. Impress her and you'll impress me."

"What do I have to do to impress her?"

"Introduce yourself and get to know her. If she likes you then we'll work something out."

"How is her opinion going to affect my situation?" Sean asked.

"Because I trust her judgment. I want to be sure you're worth keeping on."

"Okay..." The coyote said. "When is the party?"

"Saturday night." Sean swore under his breath. Of course, the party was on Connor's birthday. The fox was already distant enough, how would he take the news of Sean missing his birthday for this party? Well, Sean thought, he'd have to get used to it.

"Alright...I'll be there."

"So we have an understanding, Mr. Rayne?"

"We do..."

Sean flipped the phone shut and sighed deeply. The conversation with Connor was not going to be fun.

"So....let me get this straight," Connor said slowly. "You're going to ditch me on my birthday to go to some...party?"

"You make it sound so terrible," said the coyote. "I need to go in order to make sure I don't lose my contract...or worse, get sued." Connor sighed.

"Yeah, okay. It's fine," he said. He turned to leave, but Sean grabbed his arm before he could go.

"Don't get all passive-aggressive on me," he said. "I'm sorry I've been doing this lately, but this is important."

Connor jerked his arm from the coyote's grasp and turned around.

"It's always important."

"That's not fair, Connor..."

"No, I completely agree. None of it is."

Sean opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again. The fennec looked at him searchingly before turning around and leaving Sean away.

"Why don't you come with me?" Sean called after him. Connor turned around in the middle of the hallway.

"Come with you?"

"Yeah," Sean said. "It'll be great. You get to meet some people, mingle."

"Why would I want to do that?" the fox asked.

"Well..." said Sean. "You've been upset that I've been spending too much time at work. This way I can spend time with both."

"Until you ditch me for more work and leave me there with people I don't even know."

"No! No..." Sean said. "I wouldn't. You'd be right by my side the entire time."

"That's not going to fix anything," Connor said.

"But?" Sean pressed.

"It would be a start."

"Great!" Sean exclaimed. "So are you going to come?"

"No." Sean looked curiously at the fennec. "I'm don't want to. You go and have your fun."

"But it's your birthday!" Sean said. He didn't want Connor to be mad at him, but the strings he had to pull in order to get the fox invited...

"Then miss the party if it bothers you that much."

"I can't! That'd be like throwing away this record deal if I missed the party."

"Then go! I'm not stopping you. Go and have a good time and then come back to me when you feel like it. Don't you have a limo to get into or something?" the fennec asked.

"I..." The coyote was interrupted by his phone going off. He already knew who it was, and when he flipped the phone open he saw Crozier's number. The fennec glanced at him expectantly and Sean sighed. He pressed the call button and held the phone up to his ear. Sean sighed and moved into the living room.

"Are you ready?" the wolf on the other end asked. Sean sighed, but shook his head.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"What, are you nervous?" the wolf laughed, but Sean didn't join him.

"No, some other things."

"Well, hurry on up and get out here. The limo's outside."

"Limo?" Sean asked incredulously. "Isn't that a bit much?"

"Isn't that what you want?"

"Fair enough," Sean said with a trailing sigh, defeated. "I'll be there in a minute."

He flipped the phone shut and turned into the bedroom where Connor was, curled up in the bedsheets.

"I'll be back in a few hours. I'll come back and we'll celebrate your birthday."

"Okay," Connor said shortly from underneath the sheets, but Sean didn't leave the doorway.

"I just gotta go there and save face, and then I'll be right back here," the coyote said. There was no movement or indication the fennec heard him. "And Connor? I love you."

With that, he left the fennec in bed and turned to walk through the front door.

***

The party was larger than Sean could have imagined. Anyone who was anyone in show business was there. People he both admired, respected, and felt ashamed to be in the same room with. He felt unworthy. After everything that had happened, their prescience reminded him at how far he had to go.

He mingled with the starlets and tried his best to keep cool and calm, but underneath it all he couldn't stop the constant nagging under his skin. He felt a deep dread under his skin and a dull pain in his stomach. He felt it was a mistake to come here, boyfriend or no.

The coyote found a quiet corner in one of the chic couches where there weren't a lot of people. Suddenly Sean looked across the room and into the face at the life of the party: the lovely, vivacious Eva Busch. She made a beeline for him before stopping next to him.

"Hey," the rabbit said, placing a paw on Sean's shoulder. He stiffened a bit from the contact.

"Hey," he replied. The rabbit noticed his discomfort but said nothing. She sat down on the couch next to him and raised the martini to her lips, taking a slow sip before regarding him with curious eyes.

"So you're Sean Rayne," the rabbit said. "That old bat Crozier told me a lot about you."

Sean nodded but didn't say anything.

"You're not having a good time," she noted. Sean didn't answer because it was true. She looked him over again and continued. "And if you're not having a good time, it means I'm being a bad hostess."

He looked up at her. "It's a nice party," he said.

"But?" she urged.

"I guess I'm just not into it."

"Not all you thought it would be?" she asked. He sighed.

"Yeah...well, no. Everything here is amazing. But I thought I'd be different. Happier about it all."

"And you're not," the rabbit finished for him, taking another slow sip of her martini. She set the glass down on a table next to her and regarded him with an intensely curious expression. "Tell me, Mr. Rayne. Is it something else that's bothering you, something other than the party?"

"Well..."

"Relationship issues?" she asked, knowingly. He nodded slowly.

"I guess you can say that."

"Well," she said. "At the very least, it'll be new material to write about."

Sean glanced at the bunny for the first time, taking in her neat hair and stylish clothes. His mouth opened but no sound came out, as if he wanted to object but he couldn't force out the right words to voice his opinion.

"Is that all relationships are to you, something to write about?"

The rabbit was taken aback by the question, before barking out a derisive laugh.

"What good are they? Relationships only slow you down. Take your situation. You should be having the time of your life! Instead, you're sitting here moping about someone who isn't even here."

"And what would you suppose I do?"

"Well, it all depends on what you want. See how the song ends, or change your tune. It's that easy, darling."

"I just...don't know what song I want to play now."

"That's dangerous thinking for musicians."

Sean let out a bitter laugh, his mind still thinking about Connor's hurt face. "I suppose I'm a dangerous thinker."

"Then I'll let you think," the rabbit said, and she left with a sultry wink and a sway of her hips.

"Wait!" he called after her, and she froze, turning around.

"Yes?"

"How are you sure that relationships are like that?" he asked. She paused for a minute before regarding him icily.

"From experience," she said brittly.

"But...that's your own, right? How do you know it's the same for everyone?"

"There's enough country songs to last us several lifetimes," she pointed out.

"But what makes you think I'll be like that?"

"You think you're different?" She let out a short laugh. "Then why are you still here?"

With that, she sauntered away and left him standing there.

Sean stared at her dumbly before rising up with a new purpose. He was going to leave this party, go back to their apartment, and show Connor just how much the coyote loved the fox.

***

By the time Sean trudged up the final flight of stairs, he eyed the door to his apartment. He took a second to think how ironic and cliché it was that after how much he complained about the apartment, it was the one place he wanted to be. He craved the welcoming warmth that the apartment exuded, but even more than that, he missed the welcome warmth of a fennec clinging to his chest. He clutched the gift in his right paw and unlocked the door, stepping through the doorway into the darkness of the apartment.

He automatically knew something was wrong. Something was off. There were choice items around the house that were missing, things that Connor had put into it to make the apartment seem a bit cozier; various knickknacks that hung on the wall were now gone. The walls were bare. Sean walked through the apartment, noticing the changes more profoundly. He never noticed how much Connor had changed the apartment. Before, it was warm and inviting. Now...it seemed cold and desolate.

"Connor?" he called out. The apartment was small enough that the fennec would have been able to hear him from the bedroom. The coyote walked there next, trailing down the small hallway into the bedroom. When he stepped through the threshold, he let the bag in his paws fall to the ground. His brain didn't register the sound of crinkling plastic hitting the carpet, or the expensive birthday gift that he had picked up for Connor on his way over. Instead he looked ahead of him, taking in the sight of the closet open, the bare hangers, and open drawers that told Sean all he needed to know. He didn't even have to read the note that was carefully folded on the neatly-made bed. He knew it in the pounding of his heart, and the tears that slowly made their way down his muzzle.

Connor was gone.

***

"So that's it," Crozier said as Sean peered through the side of the stage out onto the crowd. There were more people than he'd ever expect to come to hear him. It made him smile, one of the rare ones he only saved for moments like this, or when his album had reached platinum. The months after Connor had left him were the worst ones he'd ever experienced. Without wanting to stay in that cold apartment, he had thrown himself mindlessly into his music. But he had never dreamed he'd be here...about to perform in front of what looked like thousands of people.

"Yeah..." Sean said, and took a deep breath as he stepped on stage. The song he opened with was always the same; a slow, sad tune he had written after Connor had left. He had checked up on the fennec a few days after the break-up, and they had officially broken up. He still kept in touch with Connor, however. They had known each other for too long not to retain some kind of friendship, and these days Connor was doing fairly well at working interior design.

The lights went up and the amphitheatre magnified the crowd, the fans cheering his name as he clutched the guitar in his paw. Sean Rayne smiled again, briefly, and let the crowd hear his music.