Too Human

Story by DarknessWolf on SoFurry

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#1 of Too Human Pal


It only seemed like yesterday when... no wait a minute... it was yesterday. Anyway, my life took a turn that day. It was an evening I'll never forget, before the 15 cans of beer that is. It was my stag night, which was celebrated in the traditional way of too much booze and too many birds, well you can never have too many birds but my soon to be wife would disagree. It was strange because all though there were no physical changes to myself everything else seemed to change. I could feel something bubbling in the pit of my stomach, something out of this world, something tremendous... or was it that curry?

My name is Norman, yeah I know and I'm bald, but my friends call me Pal and this is my story.

"Uuuuhhhhh my head... how many did I have?" I remember asking myself, feeling the mother of all hangovers forcing its way up my throat. My head was spinning even though I was lying still. I brought my hand to my forehead and sat up feeling everything ache. My eyes opened sheepishly blurred by my drunken stupor. When I focused properly I noticed something strange about the right side of my body as I looked down. As my memories were returning I then realised why the right side of my body was painted green. Another thing that didn't so much surprise me but was just irritating, I was bullock naked, in the buff, totally kit less. I began to look about taking in my surroundings and took note that it was dark. Also, that I was in the middle of a thankfully quite street.

"Frank, you twat! Why am I naked, green and in the middle of a bloody street!" I let out all my pent up frustration and fury shouting into the night disturbing the peace. Pain went through my head again as the headache I had suppressed bit into my brain. Cringing from the agony my shouting brought I decided at the same time it would be best to find my way home. Home... uhh... yes home it should have been right but it wasn't. Actually I had no idea where I was but knew I wasn't in London anymore by the name of the street I was in. Frank was going to be my best man and I knew it was him that did this, loves his practical jokes he does.

"Okay, okay calm down lets review the situation," I said to myself in a calming way breathing heavily as I did.

"Right, your naked, green and in a place you don't know where it is, okay options, I can go to the police and get locked up for being drunk and disorderly or I can ask someone for help, and then get locked up for being drunk and disorderly. Okay situation reviewed, basically I'm stuffed." An irritated look crept across my face, as my options were pretty bleak. So that is when I decided I was going to do nothing, I would simply walk the streets until... I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I had absolutely no clue what the time was or how long I walked for but I eventually heard music in the distance, which meant other people. People out this late must have been as pissed as I was so logically they would help, right? As I went further the music became louder thumping into my head making worse the already painful headache. It was only when I found the source of the noise I honestly thought I was dreaming. What would you do? If you found yourself naked, green and lost somewhere you don't know where it is, and the only sign of civilisation was three break-dancing dragons. Well my first instinct was to smash my head against a wall to wake myself up, which really didn't work very well. Right so I wasn't dreaming, this was real. I am a very acceptant of new things in my life, especially after a few drinks, so my second instinct was to try and make contact. But before I could say anything I saw one of the beasties walk away and grab something from the shadows. At best guess I would say it was another person who was bound and gagged, I noticed it was a she a very frightened she at that. She was squirming around in between the large scaly arms of the giant pounding against his massive arms. Watching this in utter bemusement I lost control of my body and fell crashing into some nearby bins making a loud clatter.

"You over there, come forward!" one of the large scary reptiles shouted.

"Are you talking to me" I shouted back questioningly and waited for his reply.

"No the bins, of course you, you moron!" an abrupt voice grumbled loudly.

"Right of course how silly of me... can't blame a guy for trying," whispering the last part to myself. I stepped out of the shadows and revealed myself to the awaiting dragons. I would have been more embarrassed standing naked and half green in front of strange creatures but I've been in worse situations, seriously. I was so out of my head at the time I could have slept with them and still not realise what was going on and that's happened to me before, just not with dragons.

"We got us another play thing," one of them laughed tauntingly noticing my clothing situation. I just ignored him more focused on the gagged women being held securely and it was only when she looked up at me that I noticed she looked somewhat like a fox. She tried to speak through her tied muzzle looking at me wide eyed and mumbling something. I didn't like the looks of things at this moment and was quite worried for hers and my own safety, which was made worse when one of the larger dragons approached me.

"So what are you supposed to be?" The large reptile boomed looking at me oddly.

"Umm... the Green Goblin, But I ran out of paint," answering his somewhat straightforward question, of course I was lying but he didn't know that.

"Maybe the little green goblin man would like to join us for dinner," speaking to the other two dragons who laughed sadistically. I have seen a lot of cartoons in my life and not being stupid (okay drunk but never stupid) I realised what he meant. I mean come on put two and two together, big hungry dragon and a bound women, it's really not that difficult. The large scaly monster moved towards me with a grin and wet lips. Before I could even move his tail shot around me coiling me up drawing me towards the body of the beast and more importantly its rather large mouth. The only thing I could think about was how I was already drunk and now I had just been spun around, thanks that makes me feel a whole lot better. With my arms securely fastened to my sides I could not move an inch.

"Any last words little green goblin man?" he growled bearing his large sharp teeth.

"You got any Aspirin?" I asked staring into his reptilian slit eyes, as I was more concerned for the state of my head rather than the rest of me. I received just a small evil chuckle and more importantly no Aspirin. I watched as his large dragon snout opened revealing a hell of a lot of teeth and some nasty breath, honestly I don't think this guy ever heard of mouth wash.

"Come on just a little closer," I mumbled to myself reassuringly. As I suspected the grip he had on me with his tail loosened. It loosened just enough so that just as his mouth was right over my head ready for the bite I 'pulled out' a small pistol.

[Dragons and dragon lovers look away NOW! You have been warned I don't want any harassment!]

"How's this for last words... EAT THIS!" I reached up into his maw and fired splattering the other nearby dragon with brain. Now, he was definitely dead the bullet made sure of that, but I really didn't expect him to fall forwards. The last thing I remember after that was darkness and wetness. I don't know if you've ever been part way consumed by a dead 9-foot dragon before, I can tell you now...IT STINKS! Luckily there was a little bit of light made by the hole in his head so I could see, just. I tried to lift the weighty dinosaur off but it was impossible. Continuing my struggling effort I felt the slimy mouth insides being slid upwards. As the scaly head was lifted off I took a deep breath inwards filling my lungs to capacity with fresh air and then exhaling. I looked around to see that the other two dragons had scampered leaving the women alone... wait a minute, where did she gooowhoa...

"You saved my life!" the fox women hugged me affectionately and I could feel her fur tickle all over my naked body sending pleasurable feelings to my... well... you know.

"How can I ever repay you!?" She said excitedly jumping up and down but still hugging me making everything tingle even more.

"You got any Aspirin," I asked with a misplaced amount of hope. She shook her head at me looking a bit oddly at me. Unfortunately our long hug came to an end when she noticed I was not wearing anything at all. I guess she didn't notice that before as the 5 minutes we've know each other I've been mostly in the shadows and inside other things as well. She was wearing at least something that covered her private areas, sadly (hey I was only curious). We both blushed and smiled a bit as she looked down at my naked genitals.

"Where did you conceal that gun, you're not wearing any clothes?" she asked in a confused way.

"Do you really wanna know?" I replied pointing downwards towards my exposed rear.

Yeah something I didn't mention, I'm a police officer and one thing that stuck with me throughout my career was: always carry a weapon, however uncomfortable. We both noticeably looked each other over admiring what we saw. I know she admired my body by the look; I get that one a lot. I admired her slender orange furred body, with a glorious white belly and tail tip. Her long pointy ears were never still they were always twitching and flinching. I then suddenly realised what I said before I shot that dragon.

"Eat this, did I really say that?!" I shouted in embarrassment holding my head in my hands making a mumbling sound.

"Uh huh," was the only reply I got.

"Bugger it! I'm turning into a Hollywood movie!" I exclaimed again.

"Who are you, are you lost?" she asked changing my mood.

"My name's Nor... Pal, and yes I think I am lost," I told her hesitantly fumbling with my hands and fingers.

"Well Pal I'm, Jenny, nice to meet you," she smiled extending her paw which I knew meant hand...paw shake so I graciously took her paw and shook it.

"Come on, my place isn't far," as my hand was already in her paw she was able to lead me away down one of the streets. Neither of us spoke for a while, I mean what do you say to a fox? Then it all sunk in, in my drunken state reactions were slow, so I only just started to realise. To sum up, I'm naked, half green, somewhere I don't know where that is, I've nearly been eaten by a dragon and I am now holding hands with a talking fox! I jumped backwards as if hit by a wrecking ball gasping as I did.

"This isn't real you should not be talking foxes don't talk!" I shouted hysterically and started to hyperventilate holding my hands on my head pulling at my bare scalp breathing irregularly and heavily.

"I'm dead aren't I, I need a drink, you got any beer at your place," I panted between long breaths and exhales.

"Beer, what is that?" she looked at me with an inquisitive expression; her eyes were fixated on me as she cocked her head and her mouth slightly open.

I stared right back at her in horror, no beer, that cannot be, I'm in Hell I knew I was dead.

"No beer, what about larger, Okay fine I'll settle for Fosters." I pleaded at her feet desperately.

"You must mean alcohol, it has been banned for centuries," she explained with a very odd expression on her face.

"I'm dead, this is Hell!" I was rolling around on the floor almost in tears at this horrific news.

She picked me up off the floor holding me tight, and then the most unexpected thing happened. She kissed me. Just to make things clear right off the mark, I'm not into bestiality... but WOW I'm seriously considering it. Now I know how it must feel to kiss someone with fluffy facial hair. When the glorious tongue twister ended I was stunned and she looked at my in quite a seductive way. This is one time I'm glad my drunken reactions were slow or otherwise I could have found myself in a world of embarrassment, if you catch my drift.

"Okay, so I'm not in Hell but that only leaves heaven and what kind of heaven wouldn't have beer," I whispered mainly to myself getting to grips with the whole situation.

"I already know I'm not dreaming, I figured that out from the wall earlier," I cupped my hand and placed it underneath my chin rubbing slightly until I came to a conclusion.

"I'm not dead am I," I sighed half in relief, half in worry.

We continued to walk for a while through the streets and alley's holding paw/hand the whole time keeping silent, as I was still trying to take it all in. Until she spoke.

"I've never met someone who has no fur before, you're not a Krishna are you?" she spoke politely but with a hint of cocern.

"What? No of course not," I replied a little confused, then it dawned on me, she has no idea what a human is. Boy is this going to take some explaining.

We made it successfully to her apartment without an encounter with something big and scary. It was weird because everything was the same, same style building, same style streets, the only thing that has changed is the inhabitants. After a few minutes of climbing and falling over the few sets of stairs we finally reached the top. Jenny unlocked the door and padded in gracefully. I also walked in gracefully like a very graceful... thing. I did apologise for breaking the glass coffee table with my head but that sofa was placed in rather a funny position. It didn't take that long to clean up the blood from the carpet and the drips on the kitchen floor. Then she brought me a glass of water and ASPIRIN! Wonderful Aspirin, which I took a handful of and thankfully gulped down. The next thing that was very welcome was one of her dressing gown that although pink and frilly at this point I really didn't care. I slipped it on finally able to hide my nakedness but noticed the odd positioning of a small hole that showed a part of my bum crack.

"Ummm... what's this hole in the dressing gown for," I asked a bit shakily because it was positioned very unfortunately for me. She did not reply and simply swished her fluffy orange tail giving me a look. Well it wasn't very obvious to me at the time. She took my hand and led me over to the sofa and we proceeded to sit. Getting comfortable sitting on the other side of the long seat she looked at me with a confused look and I replied with the same look.

"What are you?" She asked rather bluntly.

"Well to put it simply I'm a human," I really couldn't put it anymore simply than that.

"What is a human?" She asked with the same confused look and blunt tone.

"Me," sighing feebly as this was going to take a while.

"Where did you come from?" she questioned sliding closer towards me.

"I really wish I knew," I sighed again looking down at the tiled flooring. It was then that I decided it was best that I explain my story from the beginning. So after a very short and scattered recall of the previous evening I told my story.

"So are all humans green?" she asked still very confused by it all.

"No I just told you that was a practical joke by my mate Frank, he will pay!" saying the last part angrily mainly to myself thinking of the thousands of ways I could get him back. One way that stuck out of my mind was to take a wiz in his white washing so he'd have yellow sheets for a week. Thinking about taking a leek made me remember I really needed a piss myself.

"Oh god," I held my crotch in panic, "were is your bathroom?" I pleaded desperately, hoping quietly to myself that these people did actually have a use for a bathroom. For all I know they relieve themselves through their ears or something.

"Yeah that door there," she rapidly replied pointing a furry finger towards a door just off the living room. I shot towards it almost falling over another sofa and almost falling through the door instead of opening it. A harsh rushing sound and a long groan later I was done, nothing like a good wiz with a full bladder. I returned to the couch to the awaiting Jenny who had a furry arm stretched over the top of the sofa stroking it playfully. I sat down quite close to her looking at her with a smile, well the only smile I could manage in my state, which looked like a dog chewing a toffee. I had answered her questions now it was time for my questions.

"So what are you?" I asked just as blunt and confused way as she did.

"Well where you come from I would be called a fox, which I don't mind being called because that's what I must look like to you," she answered my question a bit more forward than expected.

"So everybody is an animal in this world?" I tried to clear things up for myself but only received an angered look from Jenny, which I had to say scared me just a bit.

"You are more primitive and animal looking to me," she scoffed angrily not liking my assumption of her.

"I'm sorry but where I come from cute fluffy things like you run around on all fours eating out of dustbins!" I nearly shouted back at her, but calmed myself not wanting to sleep naked and green on the streets tonight. Yeah insulting her we'll really help this situation a lot! To my surprise the angry look was replaced by a warming smile.

"You think I'm cute?" she asked shyly sort of blushing, even though I couldn't really tell through her orange fur.

"Well yeah sure you are and it isn't the drink talking... (Burp)... that was the drink talking," I slurred becoming very tired and just wanting sleep. She giggled lightly and looked at me in a very odd way. If I didn't know better I would say she was coming onto me.

"You're not so bad yourself, apart from being green of course," she cooed laughing more towards the end. We starred at each other for a while becoming more aroused by the minute. She leaned forward towards me and I did the same to her although I did it because I was about to collapse, but she didn't notice, thank god. Then she kissed me, which I couldn't object to remembering the first time. While the rather itchy but nice kiss continued I tried to reassure my self of the fact I do not do inter species sex, that's a big NO in my books. She took my hand with her soft fuzzy paw and stood up off the sofa very seductively swishing her tail, which was a turn on for some reason. SCREW MY BOOKS! I'm gonna get me some tail, so to speak. Following her to the bedroom I was quite anxious staring at her excitedly swishing tail and wondering if everything was normal in that department with her species. Soon those thoughts were a thing of the past as she climbed onto a Queen sized bed stripping off her recently put on clothes. She had already seen me naked so I just took the time to watch her strip and figure out how this was going to work. I stared with a gapping mouth as she led on her back caressing her now exposed breasts and slit. Craning my neck slightly I got a good look at her vagina which wasn't all that different from what I'm normally used to, apart the orange pubes of course. I watched eagerly as the stroking of her slit became more intense as a furry paw massaged it faster and faster. Not wanting to miss out, I pulled off the gown I was given with ease, which revealed my large erection. I am not tooting my own horn (well I might In a minute) I have been called and I quote, 'Man who is extremely well endowed.'

I clambered onto the pink-sheeted bed stumbling to her side. She turned her head towards me and licked the side of my face. Thanks, that's really lovely I thought to myself all be it sarcastically. I decided to lick her back and immediately regretted it getting a mouthful of fluff. We both looked down at each other's crotches studying the others genitals.

"I guess the first thing we better do is discover a bit about each others bodies," she said almost demandingly. Not one to deny mutual masturbation I gave a gentle nod. My hand floated down to her awaiting slit and hers floated down to my awaiting shaft. It was an interesting feeling having a fox whack me off but I would be an idiot if I said I didn't enjoy it. Sadly, at the same time enjoying it would make me a weirdo in the eyes of many. Well not that many just my, friends, family, wife, work colleagues and anybody who has ever met me or was going to meet me. Still, got to look on the bright side of any given situation.

As I ran my middle finger along her moist lips I could feel that it wasn't all that different from a human women. Her reactions told me I was doing quite a good job (as always) so I continued a little further working my finger deeper inside her. She howled quite loudly which I gather was a good sign. This made her rub my cock with a quickening speed making me groan in return. Then, and I really wasn't expecting this by the way, I felt a sharp pain scratch down the shaft of my penis.

"Owww...please...Owww...retract...Owww... your claws!" I screeched not wishing to become sliced salami.

"Ohhh my god I'm so sorry! I just got carried away!" she apologised looking at the damage done cupping her hands over her mouth in shock. Noticing the look of shock on her face I decided it would be best to inspect the damage myself.

"Ohhh dear," was all I could conjure up from a rather chocked throat.

"I don't think that's meant to be bleeding," I whimpered in worry resting my head back on the pillow.

I heard her get off the bed and disappear only to reappear moments later with a towel. She grappled my now semi-erect cock and wiped it clean of blood.

"That's two towels of yours I've ruined now," remembering the towel she used to wipe up my head blood from the floor. All tracing of bleeding had gone so I was satisfied and not really mad at her even though she nearly cheese grated me.

"Are you still up for it?" she asked with a somewhat concerned look.

"Well let me see, I'm naked again, I'm still green, I still have no clue where I am, I've been eaten by a dinosaur and smashed my head through a coffee table. I think I can manage," I nodded slightly thinking that if I was going to achieve something this day, it might as well be inter species sex with a girl I've only just met. Now you don't get to think that every day.

After getting consent from myself she lifted herself onto all fours into the classic doggy style position that I know and love. Rising to the occasion once more, in more ways than one, I knelt up behind her taking in the exquisite site of her plump pussy and tail hole. How I know it is called a tail hole is irrelevant, the important thing is that I knew what it was, okay? I placed my hands on her furry hips caressing them with my fingertips.

"No, stop I can't do this..." I sighed relenting not prepared to go against all my morals that I held dear. She looked quite disappointed sighing as she turned her head around to look at me.

"How old are you?" I asked with another sigh.

"21," she answered waggling her butt in the air. Now that was the biggest surprise of the evening, 21 wow.

"Ohh thank god that's okay then," I re-presumed the position. This wasn't exactly an odd style I thought; it was just doggy style, except with an actual canine. Placing one hand on her hip this time and one hand on my somewhat dubious nob I was ready. Three, two, one, go... damn it you pussy thrust forward I know it's not ethical but who cares! I knelt there motionless really not sure if I should, but my mind was made up for me when she rammed backwards impaling herself. That part came as an unexpected shock but I thanked her for helping me out. Now that the line had been abruptly crossed I might as well continue crossing it.

I made the usual motion of backwards and forwards, thrusting in and out making myself fell good and by the sounds of it her too. Feeling her wet insides clench down on my throbbing cock I tried not to think of her as a fox and more like a very hairy prostitute I'd just picked up. That was not as comforting as I thought it would be. As I pumped forward she pumped backwards making me penetrate her deeply. I loved the felling of wet confines around my tool and this was even better because she was tight. It was great...excuse me a second...

"Ohhhhhhh YES that is gooooood!" I screamed out making her howl like the fox she was.

Sorry about that duty called, anyway it was great knowing that she wanted this so badly or other wise I would feel really bad doing this.

"MMMMMHHHHH! IM CUMMING!" she howled loudly as a felt her clench so tight I had to stop moving for fear of ripping her apart. As her orgasm finished and the heavy panting began, it was my turn. I grabbed hold of her shoulders and latched on making her arch her back. Viciously thrusting into her pulling back all the time on her shoulders I released the tension in my balls. Three orgasmic jets of white-hot spunk rushed into her filling her to capacity. As waves of pleasure rushed through me the only sound I heard was my own heart beating intensely. We both collapsed side by side too exhausted to do anything else. I was out cold so things get a little bit dark from now on.

I woke this morning still with a massive headache and a stomach like a cement mixer but I had the feeling everything would be okay and I just had one hell of a wet dream.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" is all I remember doing when I flipped over to come face to face with a human sized furry fox women, not what you want to wake up to in the morning.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" she screamed back at me because I was screaming at her.

"SHIT! IT WASN'T A DREAM YOU'RE REAL!" I shouted right in her face nearly having a heart attack with fright.

"We didn't!" she asked frantically trying to calm herself.

"No, never, of course not!" I answered just as frantically looking over her and she looked over me. We were both naked. Okay, this ranks number 3 on the top ten things that have happened that are weird and unexpected in my life. Number 1 being naked, green and lost somewhere I don't know where it is and number 2 being nearly eaten by a large dragon. Yeah I would say this ranks number 3.

So now I catch up with myself in this story, I'm standing inside a shower with warm green water running down my right side and down the plughole. Being up most the night doing... anyway I was still rather tired and hung over. It was only now having freshened up that I started to think really hard and ask myself questions.

'How did I get here?' I'll come back to that one.

'What is this place?' Pass.

'How do I get back to my life?' I'm really not sure.

As I began to realise that I really was stuck in this place I thought about how I was going to fit in with a world populated by animals. I'm not am I. I don't fit into this world at all and it's going to be a task finding good job. I could only hope that all the critters of this world were as loving and compassionate as Jenny... FAT CHANCE!