Alone without a mate
Oh God,
Why am I still alone?
Sitting in my broken home,
Holding my head in my hands,
They are blood red,
Filled with pieces of glass,
Crying in despair,
I want to mate and make a pair,
Someone with who to share,
All my feelings and emotions,
My mind is like a polluted ocean,
All you sick people,
Dumping all your trash away,
Why am I the one to pay?
I could be happy,
Just send someone to take the pain from me,
But life just sucks,
You are corrupt,
And I will always be alone,
Upon me no light has yet shown,
Am I meant to stop the search?
Found no happiness on Earth,
I have been told since birth,
Not to mate with the same sex,
But now my mind's in a mess,
Is it really wrong?
Maybe, maybe not,
I'm so afraid,
I don't want to be called a faggot,
Inside my mind,
I call myself a filthy little maggot,
Can't take this anymore,
I wanna be reassured,
Need someone to hold me close,
Tell me that I'm held dear,
By at least one person,
My only lover,
Him or her,
It doesn't matter,
I just want a partner,
Embrace me warmly,
Don't let go,
I beg and plead,
Still no one knows,
I have this rose,
But no one shows,
Any love for me,
So here I stay,
All alone,
On this rainy day,
My hands blood red,
With tears I've shed,
In a puddle at my feet,
I'm losing faith,
Kiss me sweet,
Before I go,
I want to know,
Does anyone truly care?
No one answers,
Like I'm a cancer,
Leeching all their time,
I need a way to spend all mine,
Oh God,
Just send someone,
Before I run,
Into the arms of Death,
Take one last breath,
Savor the taste,
My life's a waste,
Been disposed of,
Thrown away,
I have been kind,
But in your mind,
I have done something wrong,
Can't think of a happy song,
I can't express,
How much I detest,
These feelings of depression,
Sadness beyond your comprehension,
Can't you see me,
Staring of and bleeding,
You've ignored my pleading,
I am done,
Broken and shunned,
Defenses have been overrun,
So I think tonight,
I really just might,
Take that last step,
And fall,fall,fall,
Say my goodbyes,
Don't even get a sigh,
I will never cry,
Again,
Commit this final sin,
My head begins to spin,
As I stand up and walk out the door,
I leave a trail of red on the floor,
Step outside,
Feel the rain on my face,
Walk along at my own slow pace,
Mind is calm,
I've found my way,
Gonna kill myself and take away all my pain,
Now I'm smiling in the rain,
My will has been slain,
Reassured,
Everything's gonna be ok,
Taken control again,
Twisted and bent,
Utterly spent,
Climb to the roof,
Have I gone aloof,
I really don't care,
Savoring the fresh night air,
As I walk towards my fate,
Death is waiting,
Black as night,
I'm not afraid,
Of this glorious sight,
He hold his arms out,
But I stop as someone shouts,
I turn around,
And he is there,
Telling me that someone cares,
I take a step,
Fall to my knees,
Death has grabbed me,
Makes sure my lover sees,
Ignores my pleas,
Drags me away,
But how I want to stay,
He runs to me,
Can he not see,
Death has a hold of me?
He grabs hold,
Tugs and pulls,
Tells death to flee,
Love makes the rules,
Why is life so cruel?
Trapped in this tug-of-war,
Breathing is a chore,
Then suddenly,
I feel a change,
My lover has won the exchange,
He stumbles back,
As Death runs and screams,
But I don't care,
It must be a dream,
Everything seems,
Unreal and fantastic,
My breathing is now frantic,
As he pulls me down,
To lay on him,
He rubs my back,
Muscles go slack,
I laugh and cry,
He whispers in my ear,
That he is here,
I lay my head on his chest,
Tells me that I can rest,
Everything will be ok.