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The weekend came and went, as did another few weeks, without any major shifts in Arden's life. He would go to school, do his homework and then go to practice. The running kept him in great shape and he was once again at the top of his team; that wasn't good enough for Barken.

"You can win the Nationals!" he would yell every time Arden took an unnecessary pause for rest. "But if you keep slacking off, you'll always be third!"

Third was good enough for Arden, but arguing with the coach was pointless, so he gritted his teeth and pressed onward.

The only reprieve he got was weekends; he and Mark would always find the time to hang out and thoroughly enjoy every minute of it. After a round of sticky panting, he would cuddle up with his wolf, and everything would be just right.

A month passed, and Arden began to settle into that familiar routine.

He entered History with a smile on his muzzle and sat down between Sam and Mark.

Fresto came in with a smile perhaps even wider than Arden's.

"Congratulations!" He walked over to the otter. "I just got the news, your essay was chosen!"

"So, I got the scholarship?" This day was just getting better and better.

"You bet!" Fresto handed him a sealed envelope. "You need to fill all of this stuff out before officially receiving it, but that's just a technicality."

"Awesome job!" Sam leaned over and hugged him; Mark did the same.

Their celebrations were cut short by Fresto starting class.

Paperwork forgotten, Arden listened in.

After the lesson ended, he thanked Fresto again and hurried to catch up with Mark.

"I'll see you at lunch." Mark nuzzled him quickly when nobody was watching. Arden nuzzled him back and then joined Sam on the way to biology.

"Congratulations!" Danny greeted him at the door. "I heard you won the scholarship thing!"

"Thanks!" Arden smiled.

"Yeah, I was gonna write something, but I just don't have the guts to open myself up like that."

"Wait. You didn't write the other essay?" Some of the peaceful understanding faded.

"There was another essay?" Danny looked just as surprised as Arden had been when he found out. "Wow, I guess there's more than one gay kid with guts in this school, huh?"

"Yeah," Arden said, more to himself than the cheetah. "I just wonder who."

Biology was actually exciting for once; if only because the students presented their projects while the Mr. Buxton sat around and stared off into space.

Sam and Arden were the last to present; over the course of September, their Friday nights went from pizza to pizza and homework to pizza and homework and occasional sleepovers. Sam seemed very sad when the project was finished, but Arden assured him that they would still hang out often.

"We still have biology together," he reminded Sam. "And even if we didn't, I don't need an excuse to hang out with my bestie."

Biology segued smoothly into lunch and then into English. Eggurd assigned them a new book by some guy named Samuel Lover. After flipping through it, Arden didn't seem particularly interested, and neither was Mark.

They parted outside the classroom just as they always did - as friends - and Arden jogged upstairs for his gay alliance meeting.

"Ah, and here's our award-winning writer!"

He was greeted with applause and cheers from Fresto and the other students. "Thanks, you guys!"

They all shared a group hug and went on to discuss a pizza-party in Arden's honor.

"Congratulations again, Arden," Fresto said as they were walking out of the school.

"Thanks."

'You know who wrote the other essay. Why not confirm it?'

For once, he decided to give in to his inner voice. "I'm sure Sam's paper was great too, though."

"Yeah, it was probably a pretty close call." Fresto smiled; his smile was warm and genuine.

At this point, Arden simply wasn't capable of one. "I'll see you later." He walked away as quickly as he could.

He only had a few minutes to steam before composing himself again and heading over to the pool.

Sam was there, but Arden ignored all of his attempts at communication; the last thing he needed was to blow up at his 'friend' right before practice.

"Halinen!" Barken's gruff voice boomed out as he was finishing a set of backstroke. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Backstroke... sir." The last part he added just because it usually made the lectures less severe.

"Do you think I can't see that!?" He was really in no mood for Barken's games; but pissing off the coach was never a good idea.

"You can, sir!"

"Good. Now why don't you run along and do freestyle like I assigned!"

"Yes, sir."

Arden finished off the rest of practice, trying his best to concentrate and not get yelled at.

He took his time in the locker room, again ignoring Sam completely.

"So, you still didn't find out who wrote that second paper, huh?" Sam asked as they walked out into the parking lot.

His plan to ignore the otter tore at the seams. "Funny you should mention it..." He tried to keep his anger under control. "I just had a fascinating conversation with Fresto before practice..."

"Did... he give you any clues?" Sam's eyes betrayed every emotion that flashed through his brain in that split second.

"Sam, just cut the crap."

"I... I'm sorry." Tears welled in the otter's eyes.

The anger bubbling up inside was far too strong for Arden to care. "Why did you lie to me?" That same anger slowly seeped into his voice.

"Look, Arden, maybe... maybe we should wait 'til we get home." Sam seemed to know that a meltdown was just on the horizon.

"Why? So you can make up some bullshit story on the way and feed it to me!?"

"Fine." Sam looked up, but avoided Arden's gaze. "Arden, the reason I didn't tell you is because you're with Mark." He paused, breathing deep, trying to compose himself. "I just thought you'd suspect me of having a crush on you. I know how awkward that would make things." Try as he might, Sam couldn't stop the tears. "I decided a long time ago that your friendship mattered a lot more to me than any romantic relationship could."

"How long?" It all became clear; the hugs, the prolonged moments in the locker-room.

"About five years now." Sam sighed. "I wanted so badly to tell you, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I kept hitting the possibility that you might not accept me... and I just wasn't willing to give up our friendship for that."

He looked at Arden as if praying for some sort of sign. Seeing the tears in Arden's eyes caused him to break down completely. "Arden, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you." He spoke through sobs. "I just don't think I'll ever be able to find another friend like you. You understand me; nobody else does... I don't wanna lose that... but I guess it's too late." He gave Arden one last hopeful glance and sulked off.

Arden stood rooted to the spot. He couldn't figure out what he was going to do next. Let Sam walk away and walk out of his life? That would make things less awkward, but is that what he wanted? Sam hit the nail on the head when he told him why he wanted Arden's friendship more than anything else; they understood each other. It was a connection unlike any he'd ever experienced; they'd been best friends for as long as he could remember. Would he be willing to give all that up because he felt awkward and lied to?

No.

"Sam, wait!" He couldn't control his tears anymore.

He caught up with the otter and embraced him.

"Arden, you don't have to do this because you feel sorry for me," Sam whispered.

"I'm not doing this out of pity." Arden hugged him tighter. "I'm doing this for my best friend." Saying this only made him cry harder.

"Thank you." Sam hugged back. His tears only grew stronger.

They stood for a long time, sharing this embrace. It wasn't romantic, but friendly. An embrace that said, more than words ever could, 'we're going to get through this.'

"So, what made you want to write this essay?" Arden asked when they finally ended their hug and headed for home.

"You." Sam smiled weakly. "When you came out, I decided that maybe it was time I came out too. I was still afraid of losing your friendship, so I decided to let fate make the choice. I told myself that if I won, I would come out to everyone... although I guess I ended up coming out anyway."

"Everyone? You were really gonna come out to the whole school? That's quite a big leap."

"Well, I'd have to, won't I?" His eyes widened. "Wait, didn't you read the fine print?"

"No." Arden shook his head; a feeling of uneasiness was beginning to grow at the pit of his stomach.

"Well, the winner has to present their essay in front of their school... otherwise you forfeit the prize."

"Oh." He was planning to come out to people, but this was not his idea of a good way to do it.

"You're still gonna do it, right?" Sam looked over at him.

"I don't know. I'm really going to have to think about it."

He changed the subject after that and they made plans to meet for pizza on Friday as usual.

After one more embrace, Sam went home.

"How was practice, hon?" His mom greeted him with a smile and a plate of shrimp 'n' spaghetti.

"It was okay, Mom." He took the plate and pecked her on the cheek. "Barken's on the warpath again. He wants me to get first in Nationals this time."

"If he thinks you can do it, then you probably can!" Mrs. Halinen patted him on the back and left the kitchen.

Arden wanted to tell her about the scholarship, but he decided against it. If he chose not to present his essay and forfeited it, he could just tell her that he didn't win. That would be the easy way - just tear up the forms and forget he ever wrote the essay. Wouldn't it?

He thought of Fresto and all the others who stood behind him. They were so proud when he won; he'd be letting them all down.

He needed advice.

But who could he turn to?

Mark, Sam, his family, Fresto; Arden knew each of their responses before ever talking to them. The only thing he would need them for would be to reaffirm his decision once he made it. If he decided not to do it, he could go to Mark; the wolf would tell him that he did the right thing, and everything would be all right. If he decided to go through with it, he could go talk to Fresto; the fox would pat him on the back and tell him how proud he was of Arden's bravery and resolve.

That was the trouble with knowing people too well - you could never count on them to give you advice that you do not expect to hear.

He needed a fresh perspective.

"Hello?" Danny answered the phone tentatively.

"Hey, Danny. It's Arden."

"Oh hey!" Danny's voice sounded noticeably calmer.

"Are you busy?"

"No. I was just sitting down to watch some TV. What's up?"

"I just wanted your help with something." He wanted to talk to Danny face to face, but realized that the hour was a little late for this; the phone would have to do.

"Uhh... sure. Is it the bio homework? Because I didn't get it either."

"No, it's... It's about the gay pride essay thing." Arden wasn't sure why he was being so hesitant. "I have to present it in front of the school if I want to keep my scholarship."

"Oh, wow..." The cheetah's response made Arden realize that perhaps he wasn't going to get the good advice he'd expected. "You're thinking of backing out?"

"Yeah." Hearing Danny rephrase his potential decision as 'backing out' instead of 'not going forward' made him feel like a coward.

"Well, I won't push you either way," Danny said. "Just think about how this decision will affect your goals. If you find that coming out like this ruins them, don't do it; but if it doesn't impact things... well, I don't see why you shouldn't do it."

"That's the thing, though." Arden wasn't sure how far he should go at first, but something about Danny's calm manner made him tell the whole story. He told Danny about his initial plans to come out, and about how uncomfortable that made Mark.

"I feel like if I do this, we'll drift apart completely," he said, realizing for the first time just what that meant.

"Does he love you?" The question was so simple.

"Of course." Or was it?

"Well, then you'll get through this. From what you told me, you've gotten through stuff like that before. If you're as important to him as he says you are... well, this shouldn't be a big thing."

It shouldn't... but what if it turns out to be bigger than he anticipated? Mark was trying hard to slowly come out to people; he had a lot more reservations than Arden. Arden believed that the wolf would come out if given the time; but what if such a drastic change broke him completely. Once (if) he reads the essay, Arden would be completely outed; everyone would know about him, and everyone would assume that he and Mark were dating. Which they were. Would exposing the truth be so destructive? After all, his parents already knew, Mark's parents already knew; besides, Katelyn was bound to come up with some other scheme to out them; why not beat her to the punch?

All his thoughts led back to Mark, however. Would the wolf think as he does or abandon him in fear of being ostracized?

"Arden, you still there?"

Arden remembered only then that Danny was still on the line. "Yeah, sorry," he said. "You've just given me a lot to think about. Thanks for the advice."

"No problem. So, I'll see you in class, then?"

"Sounds good."

They bid each other good bye and Arden hung up the phone. He was hoping to get closure, but ended up with more questions than answers.

In the end, it all really depended on Mark; if the wolf stuck by him, Arden realized, he really didn't care what anyone else would say. But what if he didn't? Arden remembered his dreams; he remembered his promise to never abandon the wolf if he could help it. Would he be willing to give up on those promises for a scholarship... and a chance at an open relationship; a chance at not having to hide in the shadows.

He understood fully at that point just how Sam felt. He was torn between what he had and the promise of something better - something that he would have to risk everything to attain.

Was it worth it?

He fell asleep with this one question in his mind, hoping, for once, that his dreams would provide him with some clarity.