That Place in Each Other's Arms
Heya everyone. :3 I had a couple stories I was sitting on, not wanting to post for various reasons. One a friend asked me not to, another was for a contest. This is the one from the contest. It didn't win, so I thought I'd post it here, as is. I like the way I wrote it, so I'm not gonna bother changing it. Anyway, there's not much to say about it, other than I hope you enjoy reading it. I'll see about posting that other story at some point, but I don't know if it'll happen. For now, though, hope you enjoy this.
And before I forget, characters are copyright me, and you must be of legal age to view this. :3
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As the first snow of the year gently danced to meet the browning blades of grass at our feet, standing there with my lover felt like both the happiest and saddest moment of my life. The graveyard was silent, save for a few quiet sobs coming from amongst the headstones which lined the sacred place. We, too, joined the somber din, grateful that we could even do so together given the reason we were there. Our paws holding each other's tightly, our eyes closed, we solemnly projected our silent prayers to the sky in the hopes that any benevolent spirit would take heed. The sun was still high in the sky, and despite it being a work day there were a fair number of furres about, paying tribute to loved ones and grieving those recently lost. It seems that the Day of the Dead still held some meaning in this day and age. Every so often a few broken verses of song could be heard, mingled with weeping. Songs had the power to guide lost souls to the afterlife, and though I didn't necessarily believe that I found myself choking out a line or two of my sister's favourite songs, hoping instead she would come back to us. My lover, Nathan, stood next to me, squeezing my paw tighter as the words trailed off, disappearing into the ether. "...This is too hard, Chris..." he whispered finally, his grip loosening as if all his energy had left his body along with his words. As I think about it now that may have actually been the case. "I know, love..." I consoled him, bringing his paw up to my canine lips, kissing it softly. In reality I knew nothing of what he must have felt, I could only suppose and assume. I heard my bunny lover sigh as he pulled his paw away from mine. It was soul crushing just being there, knowing my sister was never going to return, and to see the effect it had on Nathan. I couldn't blame him, given the circumstances, but it was dreadful knowing that even my best efforts had no effect on lifting his spirits. There is no worse feeling than seeing the one you love in anguish right in front of you and being powerless to alleviate their pain. It was almost enough to make me forget why we were there. Almost, but not quite. * * * * * "Well..." the doctor began, addressing Nathan and I inside that sterile, white meeting room in the hospital's intensive care unit, "You know she isn't taking to the treatment. We've done everything we can, short of a transplant. We could put her on a waiting list, but..." he paused, a pained look now imprinted on his face. It looked more like a scowl than anything else, but feline expressions often came across that way. His voice was still soft and sympathetic as he continued, "...she'd likely not make it before a compatible donor was found." He saw our looks of consternation, then quickly added, "I'm sorry, we will do our utmost to see that she is well taken care of, if you wish to go this route." My sister Sandra, my childhood friend, Nathan and I had always been close. Three years older, Sandra was always the one to look out for us when we got into the mischief that children would invariably get into. Despite being frail and often ill she was still the strongest of the three of us. Even bedridden she would cover for us, or give us advice. It pained us to see her ill, being the light of our lives, but thinking back on those days we could safely say they were our happiest, and we would give anything to go back and relive them. As the years rolled on Nathan and I entered high school, overjoyed that we would be able to see Sandra on a regular basis once again. Now in grade twelve, she would sit with us every day at lunch, and we would relish the last year we had together at school. Her illness had subsided somewhat, and Sandra then led a relatively normal life as a school student. Our brilliant star shone brighter than ever, and we couldn't be happier basking in that light. We know now that stars always shine brightest when they are about to be extinguished. It came as a shock to both Nathan and I when Sandra was admitted to the hospital for the last time, two weeks before she was to graduate. Whatever disease that had wreaked havoc on her lungs when she was younger had returned, this time much more aggressively. It wasn't long before she had to rely on machines completely in order to continue living. Each and every daily visit to see her became a montage from a nightmare inside our minds as more and more equipment had to be employed. She was twenty when she uttered her last words, the machinery then completely taking over for her breathing, "Hey guys...They want to put me on...a new machine tonight, so I...wanted to tell you...one...last thing..." she wheezed that horrible evening, struggling just to lift her head and look at us. Our eyes began to well with tears, our paws clenching the fabric of her bedsheets, "Please, don't talk like that..." Nathan pleaded, unable to quite look Sandra in the eye. I could tell that it took all that he had to keep from bawling, which almost pushed me over the precipice of tears myself. "Hush, silly..." she said quietly, her lips curling into a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, "You two need to...be there for each other. I...I know how you...feel...you were...both my brothers...growing up." A cough erupted feebly from her throat, seeming to take what was left of her vitality with it. "Sis...We promise we will, you don't need to say anymore..." Even though I said that, I secretly wanted her to talk to her heart's content. As broken and as disheveled as she seemed to be, all I wanted in that moment was to hear her voice. Shaking her head, bringing a paw up to wipe her muzzle, she smiled again, "It's fine...You've probably noticed by now...as well...right? How...you both feel towards...one another...I've seen it...in the way you...you look at each other..." she closed her eyes, her smile fading somewhat, "You...love each other...so...for me...I want you both...to be happy enough for...the three of us. Hmm?" I bit my lip. Of course I loved Nathan, but I didn't think any more than as a friend. True, we had become quite close, concerned about my sisters impending death, but I thought it more due to grief than anything else. Weighing the thought in my head a moment, I wondered if it was something I knew all along and would have considered a possibility eventually, or if it was now a possibility just because it was she who had said so. "I've watched you...both grow up...I can tell. Be happy together..." Sandra opened her eyes once more and gave us both a big grin. It wasn't until I noticed Nathan's paw had sneaked its way to mine that I realized why she was smiling, "Good...I'm sorry, but...I'm kind of tired...and there's a lot...going on tonight..." In an instant all of her vigour left her body as her head fell limply to her pillow, "Will I...see you both tomorrow?" she asked, her voice reduced to barely a whisper. Nodding, Nathan choked out, "O-of course...We'll be here..." We both got up from our chairs and said our goodbyes, our arms hanging loosely over her shoulders in a weak hug. It felt as though she would snap in our arms were we to embrace her as tightly as we wanted to. Her body had been reduced to naught but bones, skin and fur, but as emaciated as she may have been she was still the most beautiful furre in the world, a star that could never be replaced. I wept as I turned and walked to the door, the nurse waiting with all the patience of a new mother just outside the room. "I...love you both...very much...Christopher...Nathan..." we heard her say as we reached the door." It took all our courage to turn around again, and all our restraint to keep from running to her and smothering her with our love. Our knees shook, and our lips trembled as the words fought their way through the knot of fear and grief that had formed in our throats, "We...love you too, Sandra...So very, very much..." We were both so frightened to return the next day, her words, "one last thing" ringing fresh in our heads. We had received no unpleasant calls from the hospital, but still the streets echoed with our every footstep, the whole world seemingly resonating with our dread. Paw in paw, Nathan and I walked slowly up the avenue on which the hospital resided, determined to deal with everything head on, come what may. Even if what the fates had in store for us was to become lovers. The sight that met us at the hospital was certainly a gruesome one. Our grip on one another's paw tightened as we entered Sandra's new, bigger room. The extra space had been devoted to larger equipment, mostly to monitor her body, but one of the machines had an appendage that covered her muzzle, and snaked down her throat. If it weren't for the fact that it was my sister's life it was preserving I would have outright called it obscene and a perversion of nature. Instead, for the next three years we came and visited her almost every day. It took months to be able to curb my tendency to cry as soon as I entered that room, and if I hadn't steeled myself for the sight beforehand I would feel the bile rise in my stomach as our visit wore on. If not for Nathan I knew I wouldn't have been able to endure those years of seeing my sister confined to that bed. A fading star being pumped oxygen just to keep from flickering out... We could still communicate, of course. At first she wrote down what she wanted to say or ask, but after we saw how hard even that was for her we brought her a text-to-speech system, for which she was extremely grateful. Now she could ask all the embarrassing questions she wanted about my relationship with Nathan. If I used my imagination, I could almost picture us sitting around the kitchen table, talking about the boys we liked, and how things were going with our boyfriends and whatnot. Typical things you would talk about if your sister wasn't wasting away before your very eyes. Eventually it got to the point where the respirators weren't staving off whatever was killing her, which led to our meeting with the primary physician in charge of her care, Doctor "Feelgood," as Sandra referred to him as, as he was the one that administered her morphine. It was just like her to find humour in a dark place. She was the only one who felt like laughing and she couldn't even do that...It broke my heart every time I was reminded of it. "...Chris? Are you alright? I'm sorry, this was probably too much for you..." The doctor rested a paw on my shoulder and shook me gently out of my thoughts. I could have smacked him, but the malaise from hearing about my sister's imminent death had sapped me of all my energy. My knees gave way and I sank to the floor, my forehead resting against the cool linoleum. I soon felt Nathan beside me, his arm wrapped around my shoulder, his cheek brushing the back of my head. I wanted to cry, but it felt as though all my tears had dried up over the years. All that was left was a quiet anger at the unfairness of it all, that the world allowed such inexcusable tragedies to occur. It suddenly felt as though all those years and being beside her were for nothing. It didn't accomplish anything...I hadn't done anything...My impotence felt like a disease festering inside of me, and all I could do was let it run its course. Every time we visited, though, she was happy...And even the doctors could do next to nothing for her. Surely that counted for something? I felt my anger turn inward. How dare I think it was for nothing? And didn't she charge us with the task of being happy on her behalf as well? My anger transmuted to motivation; Nathan and I had a responsibility, and for Sandra we'd do anything. "...Doctor..." I heard Nathan's voice, just above my ear, "...What about the test results?" I blinked and lifted my head, looking sideways up at my lover. His face was set with a grim conviction, a look I had never seen him take on. Test results? I looked up at the doctor, who bit his lower lip, then sighed, shrugging. "Well...It's a match, but even if it took it would still likely be a matter of time..." the doctor shook his head, a paw rising to scratch his neck, "...then she'd need another, and in a few years another. I know how you feel -" "No!" Nathan yelled, almost in my ear, and stood bolt upright. His arms were at his sides, his paws clenched into fists. It was terrible, seeing him like that, "You don't know how I feel! If I have to give half a lung, a whole one or both, I'll do it! I'd do anything for her!" It suddenly dawned on me what they were talking about. I felt my stomach turn at the very prospect of my lover doing something that may end up killing him, just to prolong my sister's life. My ears began to ring and I felt a warmth rush through my body. As my vision tunneled I was sure I vomited, all of the worst-case scenarios playing over and over in my head. Hadn't we had enough happen to us? Was it not wiser to just enjoy the time we have together now? Those feelings rushed from a spring deep within my soul. I knew that it would be only a matter of time until I lost both of them... I awoke in a makeshift hospital bed, in the same room I had lost consciousness in. Nathan stood over me, holding my paw tightly, the white fur on his face matted down with tears and, in some places, mucous. As I stared up into his worried eyes, my veins filled with dread, like liquid steel. Each beat of my heart counted down from some nebulous number to zero, when I would lose both Nathan and Sandra. My body felt like lead, I just wanted to lay there and collect myself. "...I'm sorry, Chris..." Nathan squeaked, stroking my paw, "...I didn't mean to scare you like that..." In that moment, I really wanted to tell him that I was scared shitless, but I just nodded, closing my eyes. The aftertaste of vomit was still on my tongue, and I almost retched again upon noticing it. "Mmm..." I mumbled finally, realizing he wasn't going to continue until I acknowledged his apology. I felt him shifting beside the bed, and a moment later his cheek was resting on my paw, warm and somewhat bristly from fresh tears, "Let's...talk about it next week. I rented us a cottage for our three-year anniversary..." Our anniversary...I had totally forgotten all about it, what with Sandra's worsening health. I didn't want to mar an occasion for celebration with more reason to worry, but if we didn't talk about it soon it was likely Nathan would just go ahead and do it anyway. For years, I thought it was Sandra that suffered the most through all of this, but for the first time, in the hospital in which my older sister lay dying surrounded by foreign machine, I found myself uttering the words I had never dared even think. "Why me...?" I asked the ceiling, utterly defeated. When no answer came I let my exhaustion take me far away from the hell that was my life. That hell grew worse by the day. It's impossible to be prepared to lose someone you love, even if you saw it happening years in advance. Compounded with the fear of losing your lover...The prospect of being left alone in a world that could take away everything so maliciously smothered any desire to continue living in it. Up until that meeting I thought I was handling these absurd circumstances quite well, but now...It felt as though all my fear had solidified in my body, making every single movement difficult. I could barely think, like the very wrinkles of my brain had been stretched and flattened out, a bare landscape where nightmares of life without Sandra and Nathan could be played out. In a near-catatonic state a week passed both as fast as a blink of the eye, and as slow as molasses collecting dust as it rolled down a mountain. Any conviction I ever held seemed to have transferred to Nathan, who took it upon himself to plan every detail of our vacation. He had even packed my bags as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to find patterns and faces in a static stucco landscape. It was all I could do to keep from losing myself over that week. Sometimes I would mutter something almost unintelligible about those inverse dunes coming to crush me, and Nathan would always assure me that he would keep that from happening. In my enervated, crazed stated I would nod and believe him fully until the next bout of anxiety welled up inside of me. It wasn't until the night before we were to leave that I started to pull myself together. If we were to have a serious discussion about life and death it made sense to me to actually be in a state in which I could speak. I spent all night just putting thoughts into order, what I would say to him, how I should say it, and by the time dawn had settled in I felt much more like myself. At least, much more alive than I had rotting away in our bed. "Are we ready to go?" I had asked Nathan, causing him to jump in surprise. "Yes...Are you feeling any better? I was worried..." He replied, his head peeking over a bag he knelt in front of. I felt guilt wash over me as he told me that. I knew he worried, he didn't need to tell me, but it still hurt to hear him say so. It hurt, but I was grateful, "Much, thanks...And thanks for looking after me, there was no way I could have fed myself..." Nathan had brought me my meals, and made sure I ate all that I could. It was all a blur, really, but I knew nonetheless that he had done so, as well as assisted with visits to the washroom, "Don't worry about it, you'd do the same for me," he shook his head, a weak smile on his lips as he stood up beside our bed, "Maybe this trip will do you some good." Pulling myself off of the sheets I closed my eyes and nodded, "Yes...I really do hope so." Neither of us had forgotten what had made me feel like retreating within myself, and neither of us felt like addressing the issue, despite it being so very important. We made our final preparations for the trip in silence, not wanting anything else to come before discussion of the supposed transplant. I wanted to tell him all at once how I felt but kept holding myself back, not wanting to rush anything. We had little time with Sandra being in the shape she was in, but to talk about something like this we had all the time in the world. Mid-January, the roads were slick with snow and ice, nary a soul on the road on that Saturday morning. I made sure to bring my cell phone in case of emergencies, and so the hospital could keep us updated if Sandra's condition changed drastically and we needed to go see her. It was thankfully a short drive to the cottage Nathan had rented us; any longer and I would have taken the silent tension between us and attempted to hang myself with it. Upon our arrival Nathan unlocked the door and we unceremoniously entered the cabin, sliding off our shoes and setting our bags down in the tiny entryway. Just as I had let go of my own bags Nathan sidled up next to me, almost falling against me as we entangled our arms around one another. There we embraced, without warning, for what felt like that first time in our lives. I had almost forgotten the smell of his fur, and how my brown fur contrasted with his white in the most exquisite way. My chin resting on his shoulder, my arms wrapped tightly around him, my paws rested in the small of his back, clenching and unclenching slowly. My tail flicked back and forth as though to entice yet more of this fleeting happiness into our presence as I buried my muzzle into his neck, willing myself to forget about my sister for just a moment. I melted into his arms, his warmth and scent lulling me into a sense of security. I giggled for the first time in ages as one of his long ears covered my eyes. He held it there for a time as his own paws rubbed up and down my back, causing my back to arch against him. I loved the feeling of my back being tickled. It was relaxing, yet somehow quite erotic to me. I gave in to him completely as he leaned against the cabin wall. His breath on my ear, as well as his clawtips on my neck sent shivers down my spine which culminated in and around the area of my crotch. Tentatively I rested my paw against his chest, my breathing becoming a bit heavier as the focus of his ministrations shifted from my back to my thigh. I was certain he felt my desire; his ear still covering my eyes he slowly guided me to the bed on the opposite side of the room, his paws not once leaving my body. I brushed a paw across my forehead, removing the obstruction of my sight and saw before me a bed covered with red petals, placed in the shape of a heart on top of the sheets. On the nightstand were two large, unlit purple candles, smelling vaguely of lavender. I gasped, my erection now jumping to attention, poking Nathan's leg. Slowly I began to grind against him in anticipation. It would have made more sense to leave this sort of activity for that night, but a little bit of fun during the day never hurt anyone, I thought. I looked up into my lover's brown eyes and licked my trembling lips. We had kissed before, but this felt so much different, more like our first time, more sensual than anything I had ever experienced. His eyes began to close, and his head slowly moved in closer, and all I could think of was how much I loved this man who created this oasis of bliss in a life made of maladies. Our lips touched, gently at first but they soon came together in a full on kiss. One of my paws left its station on his back and began to slide up his body to rest on the back of his head, stroking his soft, gray hair and holding him fast against my body. His paw on my thigh meandered up my body, causing me to squeak and whimper into his muzzle in excitement and frustration as he caressed all the right places; my stomach, my chest and my neck all receiving equal treatment until he reached my cheek. Resting there, he cupped my face softly, moaning quietly as his tongue snaked out from between his lips, attempting to penetrate mine. A whimper escaped my lips as I parted them for him, my body now flush against his. As our tongues began to chase one another's between our muzzles we began to grind our crotches together, his excitement painfully obvious, but better maintained. Grasping his hair and lower back I aggressively thrust my pelvis against him, my desire mounting by the moment. I could feel the fabric of my boxers soaking up my pre around the head of my member, making me wish I could take them off and let my bunny have a taste of it. I soon got my wish as Nathan pulled away from my lips, the room quickly filling with the sound of our panting, barely concealing the sound of our pants' zippers being pulled down. "Get on the bed, my wolfy..." he told me in a sultry voice, his own boxers tented, the peak also glistening with his excitement, "And lose the clothes. You won't be needing them." My member jumped when I heard his voice. I nodded and complied, my pants already clinging to my thighs. I slid them down even further, wasting no time, especially after seeing him do the same. It wasn't long before our garments lay in a pile on the floor, pooled around our ankles. Telltale signs of our lust clearly visible to one another, I smiled sheepishly and blushed as Nathan gazed at my body, biting his lip. His body betrayed that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. I took a moment to drink his body in; Nathan had a very curvacious, desirable body, one I often fantasized about in my spare time. My eyes lingered on his rather feminine hips, and as I imagined them pressed firmly against mine I whimpered in anticipation. He pouted and smirked, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, seductively resting a paw on one of his hips. As my member twitched a fresh drop of precum slid from the head of my member and fell silently into my already soiled boxers. Nathan took this as his cue to take the initiative and gently push me onto the bed, barely disrupting the arrangement of flower petals. It was on my mind for only a moment, until Nathan spread my legs and knelt between them, his soft paws stroking the brown fur of my inner thigh causing my brain to empty itself of thoughts. Resting my arms behind me I knelt back, his warm, moist breath on my excited member and testicles pure ecstasy. I closed my eyes once more as I felt his muzzle near my crotch, a soft moan slipping from my lips as his paws gripped my thighs. I gasped, a shiver bolting down my spine as his rough tongue came in contact with the base of my length before slowly lapping up my pre. Moaning his name quietly I moved a paw to the back of his head, once more stroking his hair as his tongue continued to bathe my member in a mixture of his saliva and my lust. It was heaven, letting my lover do those things to me, and I knew he enjoyed it just as much. My length now nice and slick, Nathan moved his muzzle away from my crotch. With the most seductive look in his eyes he gazed up at me, licking his lips. I couldn't put into words how much I wanted this man, all that I would do for him. I was at his bidding, so when, without taking his eyes off of mine, he nodded his head towards the head of the bed, I obliged. My whole body trembled, desperate for release as I rolled over onto the bed, my weight resting on my elbows and knees. Lifting my tail and swishing it through the air back and forth like a palm frond in a tornado, I crossed my arms and arched my back, bracing my chin on my wrists. Nathan softly stroked my rear, moaning, "There's a good little wolf..." before giving it a sharp little smack, causing me to yelp and drip yet more pre onto the otherwise clean blanket. I felt my weight shift as he climbed onto the bed behind me, and I lifted my tail higher in the hopes of enticing him to speed the whole process up. I was a big proponent of foreplay, but when you feel as though your testicles are about to burst sometimes it's best to just get on with it. That was my school of though, as well as Nathan's, it seemed, as his paw reached around to stroke my member, my precum soaking somewhat into his already saturated fur. He milked my length for a short time of its pre before his paw retreated, leaving me to whimper for his succour. It wasn't long before I heard myself moaning up at him, "Nathan...Please, fuck me..." in my most pathetic, pleading voice. Silence preceded the next sensation I felt; Nathan's warm, wet, hard member pressed between the cheeks of my ass, tauntingly poking my rear entrance. I bucked backwards, impatient to feel him buried deep inside of me, wanting to fulfil both our desires. My lips parted in a sigh of relief, as one would do upon having a nagging itch scratched. My anus stretched around the head of his member, slippery with a combination of our juices. Part of me wanted him to just take me, to thrust his entire length inside of me, another part of me wary, remembering what happened last time our lust got the better of us as we tried that. Not wanting a repeat of that hospital visit, Nathan slowly fed his member into my rear, which accommodated him quite well. Even as he entered my body I felt my muscles contract around him, already quite close to the edge of orgasm myself. Burying my muzzle into the blankets in front of me I bit down, a low groan rumbling through my vocal cords, which turned into an elongated moan of pleasure as all six and a half inches of his meat nestled itself inside of me. My ass clenched around him, my member twitching expectantly as we both let out a sigh in unison, reveling in the experience of becoming one. Hilted inside of my ass, Nathan held himself there briefly before slowly pulling himself out of me. My body was already accustomed to his presence and my passage clung to him, attempting to pull him back in, deeper. Still his length retreated, slowly, teasingly, until just his head penetrated me. I whimpered and begged through the sheets for more, certain that I had never wanted him more in my life than that moment. Despite that he teased me, wiggling his hips gently, the minute shifting of his penis causing small tremors throughout my body. My claws instinctively extended into the blanket, and it took all of my concentration not to perforate the fabric. In that moment my flesh received a similar treatment; Nathan bent over me, his member still hardly penetrating me, and capriciously rested his fingertips halfway up my back. Then, with what tiny claws he had, raked slowly down my back, careful not to break the skin beneath my fur, knowing full well my masochistic tendencies. I screamed loudly into the bed, writhing in pleasure and pain, lifting my back up higher so as to apply more pressure to his loving attack. Once his claws had reached the small of my back his member dove inside of me, careful not to injure my rear. In one fluid his motion he was once again fully engulfed by my innards, and his claws seemingly teleported from my back to my thighs, digging in languidly, pulling my body as close as possible to his. It was amazing to feel all those sensations at once. My flesh stung, as if it was on fire, and my ass was filled by my lover's throbbing meat. I could even feel his own precum joining mine inside of my ass, which I lustfully ground against his hips. My member now dripping profusely, I reached back with my right arm and grasped the aching appendage firmly, squeezing it in time with my panting which grew faster by the moment. Seeing this, Nathan began to pull himself out of me, only to thrust back inside quickly. I squeaked the first few times he did this, surprised by the sudden change in pressure on my prostate, but soon becoming habituated to it as I rocked my hips along with him. I held my member loosely, stroking myself as Nathan and I moved in unison. Our lustful moans filled the tiny cabin, rattling the windows ever so slightly as the afternoon sun shone through them. My muscles clung to his length, contracting erratically as his hips smacked roughly against my bottom, his testicles knocking against mine. My orgasm not far off I began to thrust back sharply against him in the hopes of climaxing in unison. Long, clear strands of my pre were flung off of the head of my member as we lasciviously made love. Slowly his grip on my thighs began to tighten, his thrusting mercurial as he grunted into the air. I loved hearing my bunny relish a good orgasm, especially knowing it was I who gave it to him. That very thought, knowing I was his and that I was the one who would always pleasure him, pushed me over the edge. As hot, thick streams of Nathan's seed crashed against my inner walls, accompanied by his whimpering and moaning my name, my own orgasm washed over me, my entire being engulfed in rapture. From my own member shot stream after stream of semen onto the blankets beneath me, each spurt sending a fresh wave of pleasure up my spine. I felt all my tension, all my worry and grief flushed out of me, only to be replaced by pure, unwavering love for my man. I didn't want that feeling of elation to end, so I continued to move against Nathan, hoping to milk those last few precious moments for what they were worth. As much as I wanted to continue feeling that way, though, I knew it couldn't last. Soon I felt too worn out to continue, my body still not quite recovered from the week of being inert. I collapsed beneath my lover, his semi-hard member immediately slipping out of me, causing me to gasp and whimper. His seed clung to my innards and was kneaded about inside of me as my muscles grew accustomed to the lack of bunny love. I panted into the blankets, not even realizing that one of the flower petals had clung to my nose. "Nice look, it really suits you," Nathan giggled, pulling the petal off of my nose and laying down beside me, still out of breath. "O-oh quiet you..." I panted, a smile plastered across my muzzle. We were silent a moment, save for the rustling of sheets as we brushed the petals off of the bed and climbed underneath them. An arm draped over each other I nuzzled into the crook of his neck, now breathing softly into his fur. Gently Nathan stroked my hair, an ear resting lazily on my cheek. I felt so happy, so complete laying there in his arms, it made the thought of losing him, which suddenly crossed my mind, so much more devastating. "Mmm...Shall we take a nap for now?" Nathan offered, stifling a yawn. I was tired, and if it meant prolonging the near-carefree moment... "...Yeah, I'm pretty tired..." So, in each other's arms we slept for the last time before our worlds truly turned upside down. I wish we had remained awake to truly cherish those moments. The sun was just setting when we awoke, the air in the cabin noticeably chillier than when we had fallen asleep. I shivered as I sat up in bed, Nathan stirring beside me briefly before waking up himself. He whimpered at the sudden lack of consciousness and, more importantly warmth, as he made to grab my arm and pull me back into bed. As tempting as it was to just sink back into that oblivion for the rest of the day my stomach would have none of it, grumbling in a bid to be filled. "Dear, I'm kind of hungry..." I rubbed the sleep from my eyes with the back of my paw, "Why don't we make some dinner? We can discuss...things...over a fine meal and some wine." Whenever anything of import arose we always spoke about it over a nice dinner and wine. The nicer the meal the better, as we would take our time to enjoy every morsel. It meant we also had the chance to listen to what the other had to say, as well as a moment to think of a rebuttal. The wine was so we would be more compliant, as often arguments could become quite heated. When Nathan and I drank we often couldn't be bothered to get angry, so wine, while not necessary, did help, and likely would that night. Nathan shivered, half covered by the sheets before smacking his forehead loudly, more for show than anything else, "Damn, I knew I forgot something..." he shook his head, pulling himself out of bed, "I forgot the wine...I'll go get some, I shouldn't be too long." "Mmm, I'll go with you," I said, sliding myself from beneath the blankets and getting to my feet, inches from where we had left our clothes. "Nah, it's okay," Nathan paused for a moment, thinking, before adding, "It's bad enough the wine won't be chilled, but to not have dinner ready when I return...Could you make it while I'm out? I brought some groceries earlier in the week, you should be able to make a stir fry." I saw the logic, but thinking back I wish I had insisted that I go with him, "...Alright. I know how much you like the stuff." I smiled, bending over to pick up his clothes, handing them to him, "Here, you'll need these. I know you're an exhibitionist, but it's pretty cold out there. Wouldn't want your thing to freeze off." A fake scowl on his face, Nathan took his clothes back from me, "Well, then you'd better put your clothes on as well, we wouldn't want yours to get any smaller." We glared at each other, both of us thinking of the next thing to say. In the end the energy it took to create that fake tension wore thin and we erupted into laughter, something I had almost forgotten how to do. We held our sides before collapsing on the bed, our breath running short from laughing. It was base, childish humour, but we needed some silliness back in our lives. After a few moments to collect ourselves we stood up, smiling despite our ribs feeling as though they had cracked, "Alright...I'll be back soon," the now-clothed Nathan said, moving around to my side of the bed. "Right. Love you, see you soon, dear," I replied as he took me in his arms, holding me tight and planting a kiss on my forehead. We parted in relatively high spirits, though my heart sank a little as I heard the car's ignition, followed by the sound of a rapidly receding engine. I sighed to myself, shaking off the mild melancholy before setting myself to work preparing dinner. The gas stove in the cabin was ancient, but still functional as I soon learned. It took a few tries but I finally got it working. I told myself I was going to make the most delicious stir fry he'd ever had, and with that in mind I began throwing various vegetables and meats into the pan Nathan had brought with us. It was an easy enough meal to make, and was done quite quickly. I chastised myself, thinking I should have started a bit later than I did, but what was done was done. Placing a lid on the pan and turning the flame down low I let dinner steam in its own juices, every so often stirring it. I flopped myself down on the bed, careful of the dried semen and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for my lover's return in silence, my head slowly filling with thoughts. If Nathan had his way, I would be left all alone. Which of us was more selfish, then? Him for slowly killing himself to alleviate his guilt, or me for wanting him not to? I blinked as tears formed in the corners of my eyes, raising my arms above my head, my paws resting on the pillows. I felt so helpless and ashamed. I kept asking myself, "Is it right to stop him?" Logically it made perfect sense, but it still left a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Was there no way for us to just live happily together? The minutes ticked by in my head as I waited. A little over two hours had passed and there was still no sign of my bunny. I began to get worried, hoping that nothing had happened to him and that he had only decided to pick up a few extra things on his way back to the cabin. He was quite forgetful, I chuckled to myself to alleviate some of the unease that had seeped into the tiny building, convincing myself that my worry was for naught. My heart skipped a beat when I heard my cell phone ring from the entryway, still buried inside my bag. Quickly I clambered to my feet and ran from the bedroom across the hardwood floor to where the ringing emanated from, fumbling through clothes and various toiletries. Catching it just in time, I opened it and hit the call button, fully expecting it to be Nathan, "Dammit, where have you been? Your dinner is getting cold, sillyhead!" "Uhm..." a somewhat familiar voice replied over the airwaves, "Is this Christopher Strauts? I'm calling from St. Orea's Hospital." I felt all the dread from the last few hours accumulate, saturating my entire being, "I...Y-yes, I am..." I waited for the woman, a nurse whom I had spoken with before about my sister to continue, but when I heard nothing I dared to ask, "...Is Sandra okay?" "...Oh...She is still in critical condition, Christopher..." came the nurse's voice. I sank to the floor, fearing the worst at that point, my entire body trembling, "...You're listed as Nathan Parne's emergency contact..." Fighting the intense urge to vomit, I managed to mutter into the phone, "Oh, God..." Silence from the other end, then, "...We'll have someone come pick you up. Where are you?" * * * * * Back in that damn hospital, in that damn, white room speaking with the same damn doctor, I felt like I was having a nightmare within a nightmare. He told me all the details of the accident once, then again, then a third time, only bits and pieces being stored away in my brain at a time. From what I had gathered, a drunk driver had struck Nathan's car on his way back to the cabin. If that wasn't bad enough the icy roads made it impossible to stop, and the car careened off the road and hit a tree headlong. I was told that he was lucky to be alive, even though he was in a coma and had serious internal damage. "...Chris...Christopher, listen to me," I heard the doctor's voice drag me out of my thoughts, "Really, I am so...so sorry that all this has happened to you...Most of his organs should heal, but his liver was completely destroyed by shrapnel from the wreck...We can put him on a list to receive one and keep him on dialysis until then, if you'd like..." "...No more..." My lips moved and I spoke those words without even thinking. "Just...no more." My head was spinning, I didn't know what to make of anything. I turned around and shambled out of the room, leaving the doctor dumbfounded as to what to do. I let my feet carry me where they willed, barely aware that I was even walking, following a very familiar path. My heart felt like it had shattered into a million tiny pieces of glass which floated through my entire body, severing all the nerves, leaving me cold and numb. It wasn't until my head hit a mattress, a small paw stroking my hair that I realized where I was. "...Oh Sandra...I..." What use what it to speak of the dying to the dying? Through my tears I put on a pained smile, "...How are you? Are you alright?" I heard her fingers tack away at the machine we had brought her. The very sound of it, her new voice, used to kill us a little bit inside each time we heard it. Now it felt like a monotonous angel's chorus, the only comfort left in a wilderness created by a spiteful God. I explained to her and that voice all that had happened, the accident with Nathan as well as him going behind my back to become a lung donor for her. All my fears and anxieties just spilled out of my mouth as Sandra patiently listened, nodding solemnly each time I broke off to sob. I told her of my conflicting feelings about Nathan being a donor, about how it would effect her and, most shocking to me after the fact, how I felt about it all. When I asked her what was worse, losing one loved one or two, she agreed that he should not have even considered it, that no one should have to suffer anymore than this. I was assured that we had done enough, and that everything was going to be okay. And as bleak and hopeless as the world seemed, as much hate and spite I had for it and whatever "higher power" created it, I believed it. I believed her, my loving sister who would never lie to me. I wept for hours, clutching her paw tightly. I wept all the tears for those I loved who couldn't, I cried for anyone who ever had to suffer like this, and I grieved in place of all those who ever had everything taken away from them so fickly. And I slept, so I had the energy to do it all over again tomorrow. Tomorrow came, and I awoke amongst hustle and bustle uncharacteristic of the hospital. There was shouting and yelling about me, but it was as though I didn't even exist. All that seemed to matter to the doctors and nurses was my sister's body in front of me, motionless save for the jostling caused by the furres in their white overcoats. It was pure pandemonium, and my sister and I seemed to be in the eye of it, undisturbed except for the cacophony of noise. I moved to squeeze my sister's paw, but it had been replaced by a sheet of paper, one of the ones she used to write notes to us on. I brought it closer to my face and blinked away my drowsiness, a film of sleep residue over my eyes adding a blurry haze to everything. My sister's sloppy handwriting was scrawled across the page, a note addressed to me. Amidst the clamour my eyes scanned the note, my heart sinking with every sentence she had scribbled, my mind racing as I told myself over and over it couldn't be true. "My dear Christopher," it read, "From the bottom of my heart I thank you for always being beside me, both you and Nathan. You've sacrificed so much of your lives, just to see to it that I had some happiness in mine. To say I was a little bit guilty would be an understatement, but to say that it made me so very happy would be an even bigger one. Truly, I hope that you both will become just as happy as you made me." A nurse, in her haste, knocked me off of the bed, and I crawled to the edge of the room, away from the din. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't stand to see you both this way, and the way things are now..." the following words had been scribbled out to the point of being illegible. I attempted to discern them to no avail, and so continued reading where she picked up, "I'm dying. That's a certainty, one of the few I know of in this world. But just because I am doesn't mean Nathan has to. He was planning on sacrificing everything for me, so it is only right that I do the same for him. "Therefore, let this be an informal will. By the time you read this I will have unplugged my respirator. There will probably be quite a stir, but I hope you have the time to read this. Any organs that Nathan can use I want him to have. Hopefully this paper can serve in the stead of an organ donor card. Show this to Feelgood, I'm certain he'll do what he can for you. He's a good man, and will help you in any way he can. "One last thing..." I read the words and almost bawled right then and there. I felt so far away and alone in that room, the cries from all the medical professionals in a distant world, "I'm so sorry, for everything, and for leaving you like this. With this, all our suffering should end. You both have to be happy enough for the three of us, and I'll trust you to keep your promise to do so. Please, just do this one last thing for me and I'll be content. If such a thing as an afterlife exists then I promise to always watch over you both from there, and wait to see you again." At the bottom of the page, soaked in tears I could only assume were my own were the words, "Goodbye, Christopher, Nathan. I will love you both forever." I tore my eyes away from my sister's parting words and looked to the fretting group that surrounded her corpse. I caught glimpses of Sandra's frail body as they tried to revive her in vain and wished, not for the first nor the last time that it was me in her place. After watching the scene for a few more moments I stood up on shaking knees and wiped my dripping nose and eyes on the back of my paw, sniffling. After this living hell, it was time for something to go right for a change. Moving towards the doctors, who had then slowed their pace upon realizing the futility of their efforts, I picked out Sandra's lead physician. Without saying a word to him I grabbed him by the sleeve of his jacket and tugged, almost pulling him off of his feet as I half-dragged him out into the hallway, shutting the door quietly behind us. From behind the door they could still be heard, but they weren't loud enough to be distracting. Remaining silent, and without looking him in the eye I handed the doctor my sister's note. All our grief became like a third, almost palpable presence as it mutely pressed down on us. I almost collapsed under that weight, waiting for a response from the physician who, up until that day, had taken such wonderful care of my sister. I almost fell to my knees as I felt his paw on my shoulder, rubbing slowly, softly. I would have lifted my head to see his reaction but it took all my energy just to keep myself on my feet. My arms and tail hung limply from my body, useless. "...We'll do this. We can make this work, Chris..." Doctor Feelgood said finally, "It's...the least we can do for her, and for you both..." His paw clapped down on my shoulder and I crashed down on my knees, the hard, cold linoleum floors sending a shock up my legs and spine. He briskly walked around me, back into the room in which my sister lay, shutting the door as he entered. I knelt there on the floor, so enervated that my brain couldn't even tell my body to fall over, the signals getting mixed up somewhere along the way. I don't know how long I stayed there in that position, nor did I even notice, or care if I was in anyone's way. Thoughts flitted into my head, unbidden, then left just as suddenly. Everything was changing so quickly, in a direction I hadn't even thought possible. Was this good? Bad? True, it was an end to a lot of things...Maybe it was possible for an event to just be an event, neither positive or negative? Something happened, and it's up to those who are left to deal with it, no matter the outcome. Much time must have passed as I sat there, contemplating what to do next. As I was about to stand up a nurse had informed me that Nathan's operation had been successful, and that I had a lot of paperwork to sign for both him and Sandra. Out of one hell and into another. * * * * * Sighing, I wrapped my arm around Nathan's shoulders, pulling him tight against me in the cold, November air. The snow that fell onto the grass melted instantly, looking to all the world like stubborn dew that just wouldn't evaporate. Resting my head next to his I kissed his cheek, doing my utmost to dispel the somber mood that held reign over the graveyard. As we stood there, in front of my sister's grave, a well-dressed couple wearing eerie masks in the shape of skulls sullenly walked past, giving us a curt nod which I returned. "...Okay, I don't know how hard it is for you, I can't even begin to imagine..." I confessed to Nathan, my grip on him tightening, "But you're not alone..." I brought out the note Sandra had left me, her dying words, and showed them to him for what must have the thousandth time, pointing out one specific line, "Both she and I are here looking out for you...For her sake we should do our best to be happy." Nathan tilted his neck, resting his head atop mine, his own arm wrapping around me, "Yes...I know, but it's just so hard...I wish it was me in the ground now instead of her...I even...even considered going off these damn immunosuppressants and joining her..." he heard my gasp and continued quickly, "I'm too scared though, and I know, we need to keep living for those who can't..." "No one said it was going to be easy, and if you even think about doing that, and leaving me all alone, I'll..." It was like that January all over again as the thought of losing Nathan rushed back into my mind. The tears rolled down my cheeks, mingling with the melted snow and matting down my fur, "I'll..." "Shh, shh..." Nathan took Sanda's note from me and tucked it into his jacket, safe and away from the falling snow, "I know...I promise, I'll not think of it again. This life isn't just mine, or even Sandra's to live anymore..." "Mmm..." I spun and wrapped both my arms around him, burying my muzzle in the soft, down jacket I had bought him as a late anniversary present, "Nope. You're not allowed to take a life that isn't yours. I already took it, you're forever mine..." A paw rested on my head and scritched behind my ears softly. I could hear and feel Nathan giggle through his chest, and I held on tighter, wanting never to let go, "That's right...Just as yours is mine..." Slowly Nathan moved a paw to my chin, tilting my head up to look into my eyes. Through all the pain and suffering we endured we had found our happiness, this space in our arms just large enough to keep one another safe from the harsh world around us. As Nathan pressed his lips to mine in a loving kiss, I offered a tiny prayer of thanks to whoever would listen for allowing some good to occur in our lives. Maybe, just maybe, the world wasn't such a horrible, frightening, unfair place after all. There, on the Day of the Dead, we felt a benevolent presence for the first time. A presence we could only assume was our Sandra, looking down on us from a place where she no longer felt pain, only happiness.