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Janet jerked her head back in surprise and blinked six times so rapidly it was like he was spraying water in her face. A wary disbelieving look replaced surprise as she began to soundlessly work her jaw up and down as though she had forgotten how to speak. "Me?" She finally asked skeptically.

"Yes." Indigo said with the intensity that rides on certainty, "You."

"Are you playing with me?" Shock and confusion dominated Janet's response.

"Hey, you mentioned redheads. Were you planting suggestions on me?"

"What, no!" Janet's tone shifted to indignation. "How often have I consoled you after a bad breakup? How many times did I suggest other girls for you to pursue? How many good relationships did you have from my advice? And where in all that did I ever act in my best interest?"

"You said to think about all the girls from middle school to college," Indigo's certainty kept him on the offensive. He pointed one of his thick fingers at her as he renewed his attack. "And you mentioned dating a redhead. I've known you that long, and you know I've never dated a redhead. So why mention red hair at all unless you were trying to get me to think of someone?"

"It's called levity, or flippancy." Janet fired back, "I realized I was a being a bit too severe and wanted to lighten the mood. I didn't think it would bother you. I know you never think of me romantically. I said think of girls you dated. You and I never dated."

"We went on a date, once."

"Oh, really?" Janet's response dripped acid. "Are you sure I was invited?"

Indigo ignored her sarcasm. "I took you to the Senior Prom. Remember?"

"What? You gave me the invitation Six days before the Prom and that was only because you broke up with Bethany the evening before; How can you even consider that a date?" Janet's seething emotions boiled higher to match the rising pitch of her voice. "And the biggest joke of it all is, even though you are known for being too forward, you gave me a kiss goodnight on my forehead!? If that was our 'date', who did you think you were dating, your sister?"

In the heat of Janet's impassioned argument, he began to waver. "But you, uh...I mean, we... We were both..." Indigo looked into Janet's eyes as they flashed with outrage and pain. She held her gaze fixed on him till he broke eye contact, unable to watch any longer the effects his revelation and conversation were having on his friend. "I'm sorry." He said, genuinely wishing he had never pushed so hard. "I just... I mean, it seemed like..." he stammered as he tried to remember the events well enough to explain himself.

"Don't worry about it." Janet abruptly cut off his excuse and stared out to the park. She had spoken too quickly for him to believe her however, and he could hear the lack of sincerity in her rapid dismissal. She was hurt, and knowing he caused it, hurt him. The silence between them now made him uneasy, but it allowed him to think, and replay the conversation in his mind. He was not a novice in relationships, nor uninitiated in dealing with angry, emotional women. The answer with Janet was close. He just had to think, and quickly.

Janet was never this emotional. He had only seen it once before. And that was... three... or four weeks, before Senior Prom. She had just broken up with Kevin, and had called him to pick her up. Even though she knew he was out with Bethany.... 'I know you never think of me romantically.' Recalling her comment ignited his epiphany and brought more revelations flooding his mind like a rouge wave. 'And the biggest joke of it all is, even though you are known for being too forward, you gave me a kiss goodnight on my forehead!? If that was our 'date', who did you think you were dating, your sister?' The situation now seemed so obvious to him that he mentally face-palmed. "Why did you come to this college?"

Janet shot him a sideways glare, "What?"

"You had your choice of colleges, was it really the 'superior English program' that brought you here?"

"Yes," She answered warily, "why do you ask?"

"I think you followed me here."

"Pshaah," she rolled her eyes, "get over yourself, Indigo. Not every girl that crosses your path falls head over heals for you."

"Deflection, Janet," Indigo felt the left corner of his cheek pull up into a whiplash grin. "You aren't answering the question. Did you come to this college because you knew I was coming here?"

"I already answered you."

"Deflection again, Janet."

Janet's left hand seized her book and held it to her ear. "You do not want to play this game with me, Indigo!" she hissed angrily through clenched teeth.

"You are correct." He interjected. "Just look me in the eyes and answer the question. Did you come here because you wanted me?"

There was a pause, just long enough to tell him he was right. "No." Janet kept her composure and eye contact, but her ears flared bright red. "Are you happy now?"

"Perfectly." He must of looked too smug, or self-assured, because she looked like a snake preparing to strike.

"How was everything?" Candice, with her providential arrival, interrupted their impassioned discussion just as it seemed destined to end in disaster. Indigo couldn't help but smile, knowing she probably had no idea she had just de-fused a bomb with red hair, spectacles, and an acerbic wit that could wound as deep as any rapier. The break from the tension left Janet dumbstruck and staring at their waitress, the proffered bill, and then at the book in her own hand that had summoned Candice like they were foreign objects whose purposes she had yet to divine.

"Everything was perfect, Candice," Indigo answered her to save Janet who was still mired in her bewilderment. Then to himself thought, 'Especially your timing.'

"Are you okay, Honey?" Candice asked Janet pointedly with a suspicious glance shot at Indigo.

"Huh? Oh, yes." Janet recovered her composure and dug two bills out of her purse. "Thank you, Candice, no change is needed."

Thank you. You both have a happy Thanksgiving."

After Candice left, Janet and Indigo traded stares. The silence was not awkward but, it was charged with an energy that wouldn't dissipate with time. With his recent epiphany, Indigo couldn't relax in the knowledge that he currently held the upper hand. He could hear Janet's uneven breathing betraying the boiling emotions bottled behind her practiced, stony-neutral mask. It took all of his self-control to keep silent and not 'help' his best hope on earth through this. As she had made so clear to him, some things must be decided by that person alone.

Janet was the first to break eye contact. She looked out to the park for a few breaths, then back to him. "I get to ask you three questions now," Janet said resolutely, "and I want them answered as honestly as I did for you."

"Okay." Indigo agreed instantly, knowing it wouldn't be hard to be as honest as she was with him.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Were you serious about seeing me as the girl you most want to date?" She asked like she was making a statement.

"Yes." Although he was watching for the tiniest twitch, he saw no reaction. She took another deep breath.

"Have you ever thought about me that way before?" Again her voice was as even as glass.

Now it was his turn to take a deep breath. "I have always cared about you."

"That's not an answer."

"That's my answer because it's complicated. Yes or no doesn't cover it."

Silence.

Just as he began to think she wouldn't accept that very truthful answer from him, he heard her take another deep breath. This one shuddered on inspiration. So that explained the silence. She didn't know what her last question would be until he had answered her second question. And then she had to summon the courage to ask about the biggest mystery at their High School. The only break-up he had never talked about, with her, or anyone.

"Why did you break up with Bethany?"

"I want to answer that," he began carefully.

"Good, then go ahead."

"But if you want an honest answer, you first need to give me one."

"I did."

"No," Indigo said as gently as possible, "you didn't."

While he knew Janet wouldn't like what he said, he didn't expect the response he received. Her ears flared an angry red and her lips curled into a sneer. "Well since you're so smart and have it all figured out; why do you need me to answer?" She stood so quickly her chair nearly toppled. "I've enjoyed this immensely." She said with mock sincerity as she snatched her purse and threw the strap over her shoulder. "We really should do this again sometime."

"Janet..."

"I have to go. Good bye."

"Janet, wait." He stood as she briskly walked away, but she paid no attention. "Janet," He called again as he strode after her, "you can't keep up that pace in this cold!" She stopped. Her whole body seemed to sigh in capitulation. He walked up next to her. "Please, just let me walk with you." She made no reply, but to start walking.

The last time he felt this awkward walking next to Janet, had been after that fight when they first met and he walked her home. Now it seemed that once again there had been a fight, and he was searching for something to say. If only the walk home was a bit longer and he had more time to think. He glanced over to her. She wasn't reading. She wanted to talk, but she had closed the door. It was still his turn.

"Just like old times, eh?" No reaction. 'Probably because that was lame,' he thought. "I did enjoy breakfast. Thank you." That should have been his first statement; it required a response.

"You're welcome." Her reply was wooden, but it was a reply.

"Thank you also for being here." Indigo continued cautiously, knowing this dialog was treading thin ice. "I was depressed and lost and really needed..." He stopped short; knowing if he finished that statement with: 'a friend' would kill this opportunity. "...someone I trusted to help me." He finished and waited. No response. His friend had gone cold. Indigo let the silence linger a few more steps. "I've been blind to many things between us." He spoke haltingly, carefully picking his words. "I can't say I know everything, but I am finally beginning to understand, to realize, the pain I've caused you." She remained silent. "You have done so much to help me: My language, my writing, and even my best relationships in high school. I never would have had the opportunities I have now if it weren't for you. Thank you." His only answer continued to be her sandaled footsteps.

Indigo said nothing more till they arrived back at their apartments where they met earlier. He stopped walking at the edge of the concrete apron, but she didn't stop and kept walking. "Can you tell me what else I need to apologize for?" Even though he had purposefully ended that statement with a preposition, Janet kept walking. "Then can you at least tell me why you are angry?" He asked just as she reached the door.

She stopped like she had been shocked. Her body remained tense and her ears laid back on her head. "You want to know why I'm angry?" Janet choked out as she turned her whole body like a turret to face Indigo. Her face was taut and her eyes were swimming. "I'm angry because... I'm pathetic!" Tears dropped simultaneously from her eyes and raced down her cheeks. "And now you know it!" She tried to stifle a sob and failed. "YES!" she screamed at him with both of her fists clenched at her sides, "I came to this college because I thought I had a chance in hell of getting you to see me as more than just a friend! I was going to attend a west coast college and try to forget about you until you invited me to the prom. I snatched up that vain hope that you and I could be something and went with you. Even after the disappointing end, I still clung to the hope that you wouldn't break my heart again, but I was wrong!"

"What do you mean; break your heart again?"

"Yes, Indigo. Again!" She began to advance on him with angry pain filled eyes that bled tears freely. "I've loved you since the day we met. I've had good friends keep me from throwing myself at you in the early days of my infatuation, but let me tell you, I never wanted to just be your friend!" Janet cried openly now.

"Janet I'm sorry," Indigo reached out to embrace her.

"Don't touch me!" She screamed and raised her hands to ward him off. "I hate you!" Her hands went back to clenched fists at her sides. "I'm now an emotional wreck because of you! You ruined my reputation in high school, you ruined my relationship with Kevin and now you are ruining my... my... EVERYTHING! I hate you!"

"Wait, how did I ruin your reputation?"

Janet, exasperated, rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, everyone at school knew you 'had' every girl that hung around you. And you walked me home every day without fail. Everyone at school assumed I was doing more than just english lessons with you."

Indigo closed his eyes and dropped his head. Cold realization of the effects of his past actions washed over him. "Kevin was jealous of your closeness to me. That's what caused your fight. Wasn't it?"

Janet nodded. "He couldn't trust my word against what everyone else was repeating. He made an indecent proposal to me. I refused. He called me a..." She choked.

"And then you turned on him in the heat of your righteous indignation" Indigo finished.

"Janet nodded, sniffed, and blinked away some tears. "He didn't deserve what I said to him. I shattered his confidence."

"He was good for you. You two were happy together."

"Yes!" Janet looked ready to spit fire, "We were happy together, and because of you, we split up! Why did I ever come here?" She pressed the heels of her fists to her forehead. "I am so stupid! What was I thinking? You ruined my best chance at a good happy relationship with a wonderful guy, and here I am pursuing... You! A thoughtless, apathetic, fornicating jerk!" With that parting volley, she turned and marched to the door.

"Janet," Indigo called after her.

"WHAT!?" She spun and demanded.

Indigo took a deep breath. "It started between us that night."

"What?" she asked in a cautious, curious voice.

"The reason Bethany and I broke up. Bethany believed me when I said that you and I were just good friends, until you called me the night you broke up with Kevin." He hated himself for this. He felt it was manipulative to tell her now, but it was the truth, and she had asked for the truth. "We left our table at the restaurant immediately to pick you up from where he left you." Janet's features began to soften as he relived that night. "You were in tears, remorseful of what you said to Kevin and we hugged each other as you told me what happened. While you were sobbing with your head buried in my jacket, I stole a glance over to Bethany looking for support. However, she was glaring at us like she was ready to kill."

Janet covered her mouth with her hand. "Of course. Betrayal. Jealousy. She felt lied to, and like a fool for believing you."

He nodded. "She started that next week with suggestions that I begin picking her up before school and taking her home in my car, but I refused. Then she began suggesting other things we could do that would prevent me taking you home after school. I again refused. Finally, she demanded I quit seeing you at all."

"And you refused?" Janet asked with incredulity. Indigo nodded. "But why? You two were beautiful together. You were..."

"Happy?"

"Yes."

"I'm so stupid," he said without sincerity and mildly mocking her, "what was I thinking?"

"Indigo," she said sternly, "tell me why."

"I valued your friendship with me more than her relationship with me."

"But," Janet still sounded disbelieving, "you two were perfect together: Athletic, attractive, and popular."

"You and Kevin were perfect together: Smart, reserved, and religious."

"But I was the reason you two broke up?"

"And you said I was the reason you two broke up."

"We both ruined each other's relationships, and then we ran to each other." She chuckled hollowly at the irony.

Indigo walked casually up to Janet. "I guess that means we deserve each other."

Janet held up a hand and leaned away, her twitching ears betraying her nervousness, "Indigo, I don't think it will work between us."

"Why?" He asked as he stepped confidently into her personal space.

"Because I'm not the girl you want."

"Isn't that my decision?"

"Yes. But, you told me you want an athlete, and I'm asthmatic."

"You keep yourself in shape by walking. And unlike Bethany, you understand what's happening on the field."

"But I'm not as pretty as the girls you date."

"Janet," Indigo sighed, "have you seen yourself lately? The only thing you have in common with that girl you were in middle school is your prescription glasses."

"Spectacles." She corrected him.

"Eyeglasses, whatever." Indigo dismissed her distraction. "You are now a confident, intelligent, and attractive woman." He cupped her cheek with his hand, then slid his fingers into the hair on the back of her head. "I know I've given you plenty of reasons to fear being hurt by me again, but I'm not blind to how you feel anymore."

"I... I don't.." Janet began apprehensively

"Shh." He cautioned her. "You've been waiting nine years for this." Indigo lowered and tilted his head invitingly. Janet still wavered in indecision. He let his hand trail down to her back and moved the last two inches to her lips. Their touch was tentative at first, like the dipping of a toe to test the waters. Then he felt her respond. Warm soft lips pressed eagerly to his. He put his other arm around her and matched her pressure. She then threw her arms around him and for a moment, their heads played back and forth as they each took turns being the aggressor. His heart swelled as a new feeling of completion filled him. He relished her soft moans, her firm embrace, and the passion she put in her kiss. Then suddenly, she placed a restraining hand on his chest and pulled her head back.

"What's the matter?" Indigo was perplexed. He had thought everything had been going so well.

"Nothing." Janet said dismissively but began a gentle pushing on his chest with both hands.

"Then why are you stopping?"

"Well, something, but nothing," Janet stammered and blinked, "its just umm.."

"What? What did I do?" Indigo released his embrace and she retreated a few steps to one side.

"Nothing," Janet said again as she covered her mouth and nose with her hand. He started to follow her. "No, stay there."

"Janet, what is the matter?" Indigo's voice now rang of concern. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." She said as she wiped her eyes and shielded her mouth and nose. "It's just that..." she hesitated. Her ears splayed out in embarrassment.

"What?"

"Um, it's just that...' Even behind her hand, he could see the awkward grin spreading on her face and in her eyes, then came an attack of schoolgirl like giggles. "Indigo, You desperately need to shower."