Kazufox Interview #9
So...yeah, Interview #9 to be posted. Um...this one is a little...different. Based on a somewhat true story of my life.
Everyone. Lay off the drugs...don't even drug your friends with certain drugs for free.
Interview 9 with my favorite SF characters...sorta.
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~Prologue #9~
~Location: city streets~
*Kazufox*: (on cell phone) Yes, I know and...sorry that you didn't enjoy your night. (yelling) Ow! Calm down, I already said
sorry. How about I make it up to you, how about an interview? (pause) Great, how about tonight? (pause) Okay tonight it
is. (pause) Don't worry, I'll be there. Bye. (hangs up) Man, I've made a lot of screw-ups, but I won't miss this no matter
what! *beep, beep* ~An 18-wheeler heads towards Kazufox~
*Kazufox*: Oh crap...
~Later that night at Kazufox's apartment~
~Isaac sits on the couch watching T.V. and notices Kazufox walking in covered in bandages~ *Isaac*: What happened to you? *Kazufox*: Everything... *Isaac*: What do you mean everything? *Kazufox*: I've been hit by two 18-wheelers, blown up by ten Bomb-ombs, my ship ran out of fuel cells and crashed, ran into
Amy Clearwater in a dark ally and it wasn't until I nearly died drowning in 'Death Lake' I ended up in the hospital. When
Faust was going to operate I jumped out the window, was chased by zombies, I could've sworn that someone was stalking me so
I climbed a fence into a junkyard, then got chased by a pack of wild junkyard dogs, got hit by a fully loaded mini van, got
zapped by that damn rat Pikachu, got mugged by a gang of Jigglypuff, and was crushed by a cement building. I mean who
makes a building out of solid cement!? *Isaac*: My God...I'm surprised you're still moving on your own. I guess Armstrong's training must've really helped. Still,
maybe you should call off the interview. *Kazufox*: No way! *Isaac*: But it's in one hour! You probably won't even live that long. *Kazufox*: I've got to make it to this interview. Gah...too important...to miss. *Isaac*: Oh yeah you're supposed to interview Fay and Miyu. Listen Miyu will understand if you can't make it. *Kazufox*: Not after our last date she won't... *Isaac*: Was it that bad? *Kazufox*: Yeah, at the restaurant there were Mavericks everywhere fighting GUN robots and the Transformers were blowing
things up and I had to save everyone all by myself, but the dinner was ruined. *Isaac*: Wow, sounds like the only thing missing was a nuke. *Kazufox*: That happened after we left. *Isaac*: Still...you should call it off. *Kazufox*: Shut up and get me some Advil! (falls over) Ow. Better make that a lot. *Isaac*: *sigh* Poor fool. ~Isaac gets up and gets a few pills as Kazufox limps into the bathroom to remove his bandages~ *Isaac*: Are you sure about this? *Kazufox*: Of course I am. (limps back) I've handled worse and luckily nothing is broken. (takes pills) ...*_* *Isaac*: Are you okay? *Kazufox*: Yeah...I feel strangely better for some reason. *Isaac thinking*: Uh oh. Better check what I gave him this time. (checks bottle) Oh *****. Of all the pills I could've
given him why this one!? *Kazufox*: Hey, what's wrong little buddy? *Isaac*: Err...nothing, hey lets play a game. *Kazufox*: Okay hehe. ~Isaac ties Kazufox to a chair tying his arms, legs and feet~ *Isaac*: How do you feel? *Kazufox*: Okay, just a little tingly in my legs. *Isaac*: Great...I've got to go take care of something but I'll leave the door unlocked okay? *Kazufox*: Okay bye hehehe. ~Isaac grabs his bag and leaves. Several minutes later Leon and Marth barge in~ *Leon*: There he is! Get him! ~The two tie up Kazufox in chains and throw him into his room and lock the door~ *Marth*: Well that was easier than I thought. ~Kazufox slams into the door barking like a mad dog~ *Leon*: Watch it, he's crazy. So why are you here? *Marth*: Some guy called and said that I get to make Kazufox suffer. And you? *Leon*: Same thing. It's kinda stupid to torture someone just by locking them up. *Marth*: He said we'd have to wait until he comes. *Leon*: Heh, only reason I'm not in there right now with my knife is because I'm gonna get some pie for all this. *Marth*: I just want to kill him. Or at least leave him in pain because yesterday he came up to me and apologized about
the rumors that Link was gay. *Leon*: So? *Marth*: He then hit me in the head with a baseball bat because he said that I was a stupid showoff! *Leon*: Oh...Hey I wouldn't stand so close to the door if I were you. *Marth*: Why? ~Kazufox pulls Marth's cape under the door~ *Marth*: Ack! Help me! ~Leon and Marth pull while Kazufox tugs on the other side of the door with his teeth. The cape soon rips apart~ *Marth*: That bastard! I'll kill him! (draws sword) *Leon*: Not really a good idea. ~Marth enters the room while Leon waits outside listening~ *Marth*: You stupid fox! Look what you did to my cape! *Kazufox*: Grr... *Marth*: Hey, let go of my sword you're drooling all over my beautiful Falchion sword. Wait, what are you...AAAAAHH!! ~Leon continues listening as he hears Marth's outfit being ripped to shreds while Marth bangs on the door~ *Marth*: AAAHH!! Oh! Oh! HEEELLP!! Leon, help me for the love of God! He's eating me alive! *Kazufox*: GRRR! Bark! Bark! *rip* *Marth*: AAAAAHH!! Help me! ~Leon puts his tape recorder to door and records the screams~ *Marth*: NNOOOO!! OW! He bit my leg! *Kazufox*: GRRR! *Marth*: OW! He bit my other leg! He's chewing my arm! Oh God, somebody help! Leon! Leon! (busts open door) Leon don't
just stand there! Help me!! *Leon*: Oh alright. ~As Marth holds onto the doorframe for dear life, Leon decides to help and pulls Marth out. Kazufox, still tied up, tugs
on Marth's pants and eventually rips them off~ *Marth*: GAAAH!! (shuts door and locks it) *huff, huff, huff* *Leon*: Heh heh, nice shorts. *Marth*: Wha!? (looks at white polka dot boxers) NNOOOOOOOO!!! I feel violated! Oh the humiliation! Don't look at me!
(runs into bathroom) Don't look at me!! *Leon*: Ah ha ha! I wish I brought my video camera. I could send this to MacBeth's Funniest Videos! Ah ha ha ha ha! ~Two more people enter the apartment~ *Miyu*: Hello? Kazu, we're here for our interview. *Fay*: Leon, what are you doing here? *Miyu*: Is Kazufox here? He knows how important this interview means to me! *Leon*: Calm down, you'll be interviewed in a minute. Kazufox is well...tied up at the moment. *Miyu*: He better not be skipping out on my interview or I'm dumping him! *Fay*: Don't worry, he'll turn up, but if he doesn't can I have him? *Miyu*: No and besides don't you like the Gundam Wing boys? *Fay*: Oh yeah. (pulls out photo) Oh Trowa, you were always my favorite. Just thinking about you makes me so, so...Hey could
I use the bathroom? *Leon*: (grins) Sure, it's over there. *Fay*: Thanks. ~Leon laughs to himself as Fay enters the bathroom walking in on Marth hiding behind the shower curtain~ *Fay*: Hey, you want to take a bath with me? *Marth*: What!? No! *Fay*: Oh come on, I don't bite...much. *Marth*: This is so wrong on so many levels. First of all, I don't know you that well! *Fay*: That's okay. We can start getting to know each other right now. (shuts door) *rip* *Marth*: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH (takes a breath) HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! ~Marth runs out the bathroom in only his underpants~ *Fay*: Awww...I didn't get the chance to feel him. ~Leon starts laughing hysterically on the floor~ *Leon*: Oh man, I actually got that on tape! I've got it. I'll call it 'Doggy Style.' HAHAHAHAHA!!! *Miyu*: Where's Kazufox!? *Leon*: He's coming keep your shirt on. *Miyu*: What!?
*Leon*: Oops.
~Meanwhile in Kazufox's room~
*Kazufox thinking*: Feeling strange...in pants...must get out of here...Wait a sec. *sniff, sniff* Hmm...I smell... ~The chains fall off as Kazufox uses part of it to form his alter eyepiece~ *Kazufox thinking*: I spy with my alter eye a dog with ribbons wearing pink...(drools) and I also spy with my alter eye...a
lynx with an earring on her left ear wearing blue...(drools more) Wow...(stares and drools a puddle) ~On a side note, Kazufox hasn't used his alter eye like that since his interview with Katt and isn't exactly good at
thinking thoughts like what he is thinking right now, so if you haven't figured it out yet he's on something and we'll find
out soon what it is so please keep reading, thank you~ *Reader*: But who is going to be the interviewer? *Ryusen*: Hello everyone. (enters holding Isaac) My name is Ichiro Ryusen, but just call me Ryusen and I will be taking
over this interview as Kazufox's replacement as he is affected by...certain conditions. (glares at Isaac) Now please sit down
so we may begin. _Ryusen's interview with Fay and Miyu_ *Ryusen*: Here, would you hold this? (gives Isaac to Fay) *Fay*: For me? How sweet, thank you handsome. *Ryusen*: Uh, you misunderstand. *Fay*: I understand quite well you naughty wolf. *winks* *Ryusen*: Uh...
*Leon*: How come you're the replacement?
~Flashback to: Ryusen's decision~
~Ryusen is on a subway train sitting next to a bag. Isaac pokes his head out of the bag~ *Isaac*: Hey Ryusen, I need to ask a favor. *Ryusen*: Huh? *Isaac*: Yes, I walk and talk no strings attached and I'm not a Moogle. But that's not the point, the point is I need you
to take over Kazufox's next interview. *Ryusen*: No. *Isaac*: Why not? *Ryusen*: I believe in establishing order to society and I will make that dream a reality. However, you interviewers cause
nothing but trouble and mass chaos! *Isaac*: True, but if you became an interviewer then you would know how to stop the insanity. *Ryusen*: Hmm...you do make a point. Great, I'm agreeing with a teddy bear...but no. *Isaac*: Please? *Ryusen*: No. *Isaac*: Come on. *Ryusen*: I said no! Now leave me alone! ~People stare at Ryusen and slowly back away~ *Isaac*: Listen, if you don't help then I'll send you to the nuthouse faster than you can summon your alter. *Ryusen*: Fine, just tell me what's wrong with Kazufox. *Isaac*: Umm...he took some pills by accident. *Ryusen*: What kind of pills? ~Isaac whispers into Ryusen's ear~ *Ryusen*: VIAGRA!! What the hell is wrong with him!? *Isaac*: It's not his. *Ryusen*: Then who's!? *Isaac*: I don't know, I gave it to him by accident. Must've been a plothole in the medicine cabinet. *Ryusen*: Some friend you are. (notices everyone has backed away from him) *Male hooker*: Hey do you want to...play? *Ryusen*: You're disgusting! Go away. *Male hooker*: Aww...look at the cute teddy bear. *Isaac*: Get away from me hoe.
*Male hooker*: Oh my God! It talks! AAAAAHH!! (jumps out window)
*Ryusen*: That was an interesting flashback. *Isaac*: Yeah. *Reader*: You made a male hooker commit suicide!
*Isaac*: Happens often, now back to the interview.
*Ryusen*: I don't want to talk about it. (refer to question before flashback) Now for the interview, Miss Miyu when did you
meet Kazufox? *Miyu*: A few months ago in the hospital. *Ryusen*: Were you working there? *Miyu*: No, I was actually supposed to kill him. ~Silence~ *Ryusen*: Right...I understand that both of you were supposed to be in the cancelled Starfox 2 game so how do you feel about- *Kazufox*: Bark! Bark! Bark! Grr! *Miyu*: Um, what's that? *Leon*: Oh, just an animal problem but don't worry about it. Shut up you stupid mutt! (pulls out tazer and enters room) *zap* *Kazufox*: Yipe! *Leon*: (walks out) Man, he needs to get neutered. ~As if Kazufox understood, he uses the chains and rope to fully form the Shell Shurigun and grabs Leon's neck~ *Leon*: Oh crap. (gets pulled in and door shuts) Let go of me for I am the Great Leon! *Kazufox*: GRR!! *Leon*: AAAAAAHHH!! OW! *punch* Ack! *bite* Yeowch! *slam* Guh! Somebody help me! Bad dog, bad dog! *slam* Okay, bad
fox. *Ryusen*: Excuse me ladies. Suisun! (forms alter) ~Suisun heads over to Kazufox's room and uses its sword-like arms to pulls Leon out~ *Leon*: So...horribly brutal...I wanna do that.... *faint* *Ryusen*: I apologize. Now then, how did you feel about not being in Starfox 64? *Fay*: It was horrible! We hated it. *Miyu*: Nintendo never even mentioned us. *Ryusen*: Now the next question is...something I've had on my mind for quite some time but...This is a bit personal... *Miyu*: What is it? *Fay*: Yeah, tell us. I won't be embarrassed about what dirty things you wanted to try in bed. *Ryusen*: It's not that! Ahem...er... *Miyu*: What already? *Ryusen*: Well, for some reason you look young but your age should be almost the same as Fox's so I was...just...wondering? *Miyu*: I'm nowhere near as old as Fox...got it!? ~Miyu glares at Ryusen with blazing red eyes of doom~ *Ryusen*: *gulp* *Miyu*: Fox is almost in his thirties and I'm...a lot younger. So don't ever compare my age to him or anyone else ever
again! (glares) *Ryusen*: Yes ma'am. *Fay*: Well, I sort of understand what you're trying to ask and I can explain that. After Nintendo cancelled our game, we
got upset and complained about it but then they decided to make it look like we don't exist so Miyu went looking for a way
to get back at them by taking their ice cream and hold it for ransom and we got locked up in the freezer. We were frozen
so we never really aged...and we weren't really old in the first place. Miyu: How was I supposed to know that their ice cream freezer automatically shuts. *Ryusen*: I see but what about those that claim to have seen you and Miyu? *Fay*: After Nintendo discovered the leak they decided to clone us. And they were successful with my clone but Miyu's
turned out to be a guy. *Ryusen*: So that's why everyone thought that Miyu was a guy. *Miyu*: *sniff* Yeah... *Ryusen*: I'm sorry to hear that. That is wrong what they did to you two! But does Kazufox know about this? *Miyu*: Yes, in fact he was even eager to help me and soon enough he became my boyfriend. *Ryusen*: Interesting...But how long were you two frozen anyways? It must've been a long time. *Fay*: Actually, it was more like a- *Miyu*: (covers Fay's mouth) Yep! A long time! You guessed it! A very LONG time, okay not THAT long but you get the idea
right? *Ryusen*: Uh...I guess so. *Miyu*: Yeah, isn't that right Fay? (releases Fay) *Fay*: I guess. *Miyu*: Yep! A long time...okay it was a long while. *Ryusen*: Okay...Now then, Miss Fay. *Fay*: You can call me Mrs. Ryusen if you want. *Ryusen*: Umm...no thanks, Miss Fay what do you think about Fox? *Fay*: He can act like a spoiled little kid. He is cute though, but you're even cuter. *Ryusen*: (blushes) Um, thanks but moving on. *Kazufox*: Hoooooooowl! Hoooooooooowl! *Miyu*: What is that thing and why... *Ryusen*: Miss Miyu? Miss Miyu! Miss Fay? What's wrong with them!? *Isaac*: Wait a sec, that howl...Oh my God, it's a mating call! *Ryusen*: WHAT!? How many pills did you give him? *Isaac*: Um...about five. *Ryusen*: FIVE!? You mean that Kazufox is locked up in there fully hyped on five Viagras!?! *Fay and Miyu*: What!? *Ryusen*: Oops. *Miyu*: Well, I better check up on him. *Fay*: That's okay I'll go. *Miyu*: He's my boyfriend! *Fay*: You dumped him so he's fair game. *Miyu*: No I didn't! *Ryusen*: That's enough! Suisun! ~The alter creature goes into the room and slaps Kazufox~ *Kazufox*: Yelp! (returns to normal state) ~Suisun returns to guarding the door~ *Ryusen*: *whew* That was a close one. *ding, dong* ~Ryusen answers the door and sees a lot of single women and a male prostitute at the door~ *Isaac*: The damage has been done... *Ryusen*: Umm...may I help you ladies? *Katt Monroe*: We heard the cries of a very lonely person and we came to see him. *Amy Rose*: Is it you? *Male prostitute*: Well he does look good enough to eat. Rawr. *Ryusen*: ...o_o *Kazufox*: Hoooooooooowl! *Angelina Scarlet*: He's in there! *Ryusen*: I'm going to have to tell you to refrain from entering. (fighting pose) *Male prostitute*: Whose gonna stop us? You, sexy? *Daisy*: There's only one of him and a lot of us. *Amy Rose*: Charge! *Ryusen*: Uh oh. ~The girls and the prostitute charge in and Ryusen jumps and clings to the ceiling fan. All hell breaks loose as the girls
are killing each other to get into Kazufox's room~ *Scarlet*: (crawls toward door) Looks like I win. *Miyu*: (grabs Scarlet's tail) He's my boyfriend! ~Miyu starts swinging Mario style. A green warp pipe appears~ *Mario*: It's-a me-a Mario! Huh? ~Mario gets hit by Scarlet and both of them fall into the warp pipe~ *Cameraman*: Sweet, I got it all on tape. *Ryusen*: (climbs down) When did you get here? *ding, dong* *Ryusen*: (answers door) Miss Clearwater? What are you doing here? *Amy Clearwater*: I came by to apologize to Kazufox about what happened in the ally. Link told me that Kazufox apologized
for all the pranks that recently happened to him and I'm gonna try to make things up to him. (sees fighting) Looks like
you've got a problem. *Ryusen*: Yes, I could use some help. ~As Amy tells Ryusen what to do, Isaac hides under the sofa. The girls are killing each other and sending the losers down
the warp pipe. Leon, still unconscious, gets stepped on time to time. Ryusen says bye to Amy and heads across the room to
Kazufox's room and uses an air horn. The room goes silent and all eyes are on Ryusen~ *Ryusen*: May I have your attention, cease and desist right now this instant or else I'll have to use drastic measures. *Male prostitute*: And what are you going to do, strip for us? *Fay*: Yes! *Ryusen*: No. (pulls out cell phone) I'll call Brock. *Daisy*: He wouldn't, would he? *Malon*: He's only bluffing! *Ryusen*: (dials number) Hello, Brock? Say hello to the beautiful ladies. *Brock*: (walks out of Kazufox's room) Hi ladies. *Girls*: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (takes a breath) HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! All the girls storm into the warp pipe *Ryusen*: What happened? Didn't Kazufox attack you? *Brock*: No, just had a talk with the guy. He says he misses his girlfriend. *Jesse*: Oh how touching. *Ryusen*: What!? Why doesn't Brock scare you off? *Male prostitute*: Because he's sexy. *Brock*: AAAAAAHHH!!! (jumps down warp pipe) *Ryusen*: Well, it's only two. I can handle them. *???*: You forgot about us! ~Two robots jump out of the warp pipe, one is a red version of Wing Zero and the other is a green version of Epyon~ *Ryusen*: Who are you two? *General Epyon*: I am...General Epyon! (pose) *Wing Zero Red*: And I'm...Wing Zero Red! (pose) *Ryusen*: Um...I'm doing an interview so could you please leave? *Red*: Ha ha ha! He said 'please'. *General*: Sorry, but revenge can't wait. *Ryusen*: Revenge but what do you mean? *Red*: You really don't remember us, do ya? *Ryusen*: No... *General*: Remember hacking us up while we were stuck as blocks? *Ryusen*: (remembers) But how are you still alive? *Red*: Luckily for us Slippy found us and he was nice enough to rebuild us, that nerd. What a loser. *General*: It's just too bad he met an unfortunate end. (turns on sword) Mwah ha ha ha ha! *Ryusen*: Is that how you repay someone for saving you? You are truly evil. *Red*: Yeah, I wanted to kill Slippy! *General*: Too bad, now we have a job to do. *Red*: But it's not fair that you get to be Epyon. He looks so evil and I wanted that sword! *General*: You want the sword!? Then have it! (throws sword) ~The sword goes into Wing Zero Red's side~ *Red*: Gah!! What the hell!? *General*: Oops. Sorry. *Red*: Sorry my butt! (points laser gun and fires) ~The blast blows off General Epyon's left arm completely~ *General*: Hey! *Red*: My bad, I was aiming for your head! *General*: That's it! (yanks on cord returning the sword to his hand) Take this! (cuts laser guns) *Red*: Oh yeah, I still have my beam sword! (pulls out sword) *General*: That dinky sword? Ha! I can beat you with one arm tied behind my wings. *Red*: Well let's test that shall we? Yaaaah!! (charges toward General Epyon) *General*: Hooaaargh!! (charges toward Wing Zero Red) ~The two robots start fighting each other and parts are falling left and right until both kill each other~ *???*: You fools, what are you idiots up to now? *Ryusen*: Is that you Wolf? ~An evil figure jumps out of the warp pipe~ *Yugi Moto*: It is I, Yugi Moto, the king of games, possessor of the Millennium puzzle, the- *Ryusen*: I get it, you're Yugi. *Yugi*: That is right. Bwah ha ha ha haa! *Ryusen*: Doesn't your evil exist only in sprite comics? *Yugi*: No and with those two idiots, I plan to take over this interview, now where is Kazufox? *Ryusen*: He's busy, I'm the interviewer and if you haven't noticed those robots killed each other. *Yugi*: I'll fix that. (draws card) Monster Reborn! ~The two gundams are restored to full strength~ *Yugi*: You idiots are supposed to kill the interviewer not each other! *General and Red*: Sorry. *Yugi*: It's time to duel! I summon General Epyon and Wing Zero Red in attack mode. I'll end my turn by placing a card
face down. *Ryusen*: What is this, a duel? (looks at T.V.) *T.V.*: Ryusen has 2000 life points, Yugi has 2000 life points. *Ryusen*: You've got to be kidding. *Fay*: Good luck Ryusen! I know you can win! *Miyu*: Kill him Ryusen! *Jesse*: You better beat that dueling freak, hairball! *Male prostitute*: That wolf is so stuck up, but he's sooo sexy. *Ryusen*: Guess not...Go Suisun! Attack! *Yugi*: I activate my trap card Magical Hats! Now you must find my monsters by destroying a hat one by one to find them
and- *Ryusen*: Shut up! I get it! Hmm...(closes eyes and thinks) *James McCloud*: Never give up, trust your instincts... *Wolf O'Donnell*: When the time come don't hesitate, just act... *Tricky*: Bad guy... *Kazufox*: What the hell are you doing? Just kill the spiky haired bastard! *Ryusen thinking*: Kazufox, what are you doing inside my head? *Kazufox*: You're hallucinating, again...And James, I want my five dollars back! *James*: Okay, I'll get it. Calm down. *Ryusen*: (opens eyes) Suisun, destroy them! ~Suisun destroys the hats containing the two gundams with its sword arms~ *Yugi*: What? No fair! *T.V.*: Yugi, 1400 life points. *Yugi*: But how is it possible? *Ryusen*: Suisun's dual blade arms allow it to strike two at once, so much for king of games you're a joke! Now Suisun,
attack him directly! *Yugi*: NNNOOOOOOOOO!!! *ching, ching* *T.V.*: Yugi, 300 life points. *Yugi*: Grr! I will control this interview! (draws card) I put this card face down and end my turn. *Ryusen*: Time to end this, go! *Yugi*: I activate the trap card Swords of Revealing Light! Now you cannot attack for three turns! *Ryusen*: Fine, go then. *Yugi*: (draws card) Hmmmmmm...............go. *Ryusen*: Go. *Yugi*: (draws card) Hmmmmm.........okay, you go! *Ryusen*: One more turn, go. *Yugi thinking out loud*: This is it, the final draw, I need one last card in order to win this duel. Heart of the cards,
guide me, guide me so I can- *Ryusen*: Hurry up already! *Yugi*: Fine! (draws card) I play the spell card $20 to summon Male Prostitute of the Urban Streets! ~Male prostitute appears on the field~ *Male prostitute*: You know you only get one hour. *Yugi*: Okay fine, an hour is all I need to win now Male Prostitute, attack Ryusen directly! *Male prostitute*: Come here and pucker up. *Ryusen*: You forget Yugi, you're swords are gone! Now to finish you! ~Suisun tries to attack the prostitute but gets slapped and starts cracking about to shatter~ *Ryusen*: GAAH!! *T.V.*: Ryusen, 800 life points. *Yugi*: I shall win! Bwah ha ha ha haa! *Fay*: Ryusen! *Miyu*: No! *Jesse*: This is gonna be good. *Ryusen*: No...I won't let it end this way. I won't! My instincts tell me to attack now and I mustn't hesitate because you
are evil! Suisun, transform! ~The humanoid creature morphs into its dragon form~ *Yugi*: W-what is that thing!? *Ryusen*: Now you see Suisun's true form and with now I'll defeat you! (glows silver) *Male prostitute*: Well that won't stop me. *Ryusen*: You disgusting lowlife. You are evil and I will destroy you with my new technique, Slicing Cyclone! ~The two drill-like missiles fire and spin around the prostitute at lightning fast speeds then return to the dragon alter~ *Male prostitute*: Is that all? I didn't feel a thi- (falls over in a million pieces) *Miyu*: Go Ryusen! (holds 'Go Ryusen' sign) *Fay*: I love you Ryusen! (holds 'I love Ryusen' sign) *Jesse*: Not bad, I guess he does have some skills. *Yugi*: Grr...I'll just play Monster Re-hey, my cards! *Ryusen*: Your power lies within the cards so if I destroy them then you are powerless! Yugi, you are a coward and you
need mental help but that doesn't matter to me! I will stop you and your evil right here right now! *Fay*: He's so cute when he acts so noble. *Ryusen*: (glows brighter silver aura) YAAAAAAAHH!!! Shadow Blades!! ~The two drills fire at Yugi using the same effects of Chaos Control to vanish and reappear. The blades return to the
alter and most of the damage was done to Yugi's hair~ *Yugi*: NO!! My trademark hair! *Ryusen*: Time...to end this... ~Suisun tackles Yugi sending him down the warp pipe. The warp pipe disappears~ *T.V.*: Yugi, 0 life points. The winner is Ryusen. *Ryusen*: It is over. (stops glowing) *Jesse*: Not quite. (pulls out bazooka) I don't know what that thing is but it's obviously a rare Pokémon! And now that
it's worn out I can just take it without any problems. *Ryusen*: Not this again. Attack! ~Jesse fires the bazooka but Suisun charges at it at sonic speed cutting the projectile in half. Suisun swings its tail
sending Jesse flying~ *Jesse*: Looks like I've been swiped off again...(disappears as a star) *Ryusen*: Finally. (Suisun disappears) Now then, I suggest that you two leave here and never come back. *Red's head*: Uh... *General's head*: Let's retreat! ~Red's head shoots out wheel turning it into a car and General turns into a helicopter and flies away~ *Red's head*: How come you get to be the helicopter? *General's head*: Because I'm better than you. *Red's head*: Oh yeah? (shoots vulcan guns) Take that! *General's head*: I'll make you pay! ~The two heads crash into each other and blow up~ *Ryusen*: Yeah...Now everyone please take your seats so we may finish the interview. ~Everyone sits down and Isaac puts Leon in a chair~ *Leon*: On my back, it feels like I've been- ~Isaac smashes a vase on Leon's head~ *Isaac*: That's for tazering Kazufox! No pie for you! *Fay*: There you are. ~Isaac falls over playing the role of a stuffed animal. Fay picks up Isaac and sits down holding him. Kazufox continues
banging on the door~ *Isaac thinking*: *whew* That was close. *Ryusen*: I did a little research and discovered something. Miss Miyu, you're name had Saru in it correct? *Miyu*: That was another result of the cover up. *sniff* People don't even know my name anymore, except Kazu... *Ryusen*: I see, that's sad, I'm sorry about that. And Miss Fay, I guess you being called Lady was also part of the cover
up? *Fay*: Actually it wasn't, my name full name is Lady Fay Spaniel, but I could change it to Lady Fay Ryusen. *Ryusen*: Um, no it's better that you don't change your name. Now I also realized that you two replaced someone a certain
Miss Phoenix. ~An evil demon barges through the door and Kazufox goes silent~ *Fara*: WHAAAAT!?! *Isaac*: Ryusen, over there! ~Ryusen spots 'an in case of Fara break glass'~ *Ryusen*: When did that- *Isaac*: Nevermind that, just use it! ~Ryusen breaks the glass and pulls out Fox~ *Fox*: *gasp* Air! Fresh air! Where am I? *Fara*: Hello Fox. *Fox*: AAAAAAAHH!! (jumps out window) *Fara*: How dare he run away from me! I'll kill him later. *Ryusen*: So, you're not going to try to destroy us all? *Fara*: No, I thought about it but since the Starfox 2 was cancelled, I felt the same way so there's nothing really to get
upset about. Actually, now that I think about it, I feel just as bad as they do. *Ryusen*: I see. Well, I guess this concludes the interview. *Miyu*: Can I go see Kazu now? *Ryusen*: I may regret doing this but I suppose so, I'm not in charge of him. And since you're his girlfriend I guess that
only you could get some sense into him. *Miyu*: Thank you! (enters room) Oh Kazu, I- ~Kazufox starts making out with Miyu and shuts the door~ *Ryusen*: Yeah...Hey, would you mind taking Leon out of here? *Cameraman*: Sure. (throws Leon out the window) See ya and congratulations on your win. (leaves through front door) *Fara*: I guess I'll hunt down Fox, it won't be a problem since I know where his secret hiding place is. (leaves) *Fay*: Looks like it's just you and me. *Ryusen*: But what about him? (points to Isaac) *Fay*: Oh don't worry, I'll put him up. (picks up Isaac) *Isaac*: I love you. *Fay*: Huh? (squeezes Isaac) *Isaac*: I love you. *Fay*: Oh Ryusen, I had no idea. *Ryusen*: Yes he talks and- *Fay*: Thank you! (hugs Ryusen) *Ryusen*: Wait, you don't understand! *Fay*: Oh, I understand. I love you too. ~Various disturbing noises comes from Kazufox's room~ *Ryusen*: I don't feel comfortable. *Fay*: That's okay, we can go to my place and...cuddle up. *Ryusen*: Isaac...(sees Isaac acting like a stuffed animal) *Fay*: Oh Ryusen...I love you so much! (kisses Ryusen's cheek) *Ryusen*: Miss Fay, please! Okay this is Ichiro Ryusen and I'm ending my first and hopefully last interview. Whoa! I
advise you remove your hand from my rear. *Fay*: Sorry, I'll just head to...the other side. *Ryusen*: I'm ending this interview now! ~Epilogue~ ~That was weird and very disturbing. I still haven't found out how to stop an interview once it has begun. And I pray for
the sake of whatever is left of my sanity, I never go into another interview ever again...Anyways, Kazufox is busy with...Miss
Miyu. Marth decided it wasn't smart to wear long capes near doors. Leon landed in the parking lot and is still knocked
out. Fox is still hiding from Miss Phoenix but for how long, I do not know. The two evil robots killed each other and
hopefully that's the last time we'll see them. After his defeat, Yugi returned to the sprite comics to cause more trouble.
Jesse is still in charge of the Team Rocket trio and the cameraman received a promotion for recoding my duel with Yugi.
Why do I call girls 'Miss' all the time? I do not formally know them and I'm just trying to show respect unlike my brain-
dead rival, Kazufox. Isaac was cleaning up after I left with Miss Fay, I bet he's laughing to himself right now. She is
still holding onto me and I think she fell asleep. I still wonder where all those girls ended up? But does anybody have a
crowbar I could use? No really, I'm serious. It's getting a bit hard to breathe almost. Anyone?~
~Location: Mario's house~
*Scarlet*: Oh, we lost. *Malon*: At least we lost Brock. *Brock*: *phew* I made it out in one piece. *Daisy*: Oh crud... *Brock*: Hello ladies! *Katt*: Run away! ~All the girls run out trampling Mario~ *Brock*: Ladies wait, come back! (chases girls) ~Luigi walks downstairs~ *Luigi*: That was-a good nap-a. I-a really deserved that for-a cleaning this-a place up-a. (heads downstairs sees mess and
Mario's stunned and trampled body) Mario! Look at-a this-a a mess you-a made!! *Mario*: Ack-a...*cough* *Luigi*: That's-a it-a! You-a clean this-a up right now-a. I'm-a going out and when I-a get back, I want-a see this
place-a spotless...and stop-a bleeding all over the-a floor-a! *To Be Continued...* *Greg*: ...... *X*: ...... *Greg*: ...... *X: ...... *Greg*: Okay...that was weird. *X*: ...... *Greg*: Don't you say anything else? *X*: ...... *Greg*: Fine then. Well...this ends another interview of Kazufox or should I say Ryusen. *X*: But doesn't he hate interviewers? *Greg*: *gasp* He spoke! But not really hate, more like...opposes. *X*: I still don't get it. *Greg*: This doesn't really concern you so don't worry about it. See you next time. (waves bye to you, the great and
honorable reader)
*The End (of this interview)*
~Nintendo characters are copyright to Nintendo.~ ~Yugi is copyright to 4kids productions.~ ~General is copyright to Felix Faust VIII.~ ~Megaman X is copyright to Capcom.~ ~Male hooker and prostitute are copyright to whoever wants them. (please take them)~ ~Amy Clearwater is copyright to Jolteon.~ ~Kazufox, Ryusen, Red, Greg, Scarlet, Cameraman and Isaac are copyright to Kazufox.~ ~Viagra is copyright to whoever is sick enough to make them and Viagra is NOT a toy...don't mess with your friends with these pills. I'm serious, it's not funny!~