This Is Me Challenge: Arkona Kothe
On a brisk, autumn day in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, a black Ford Ranger pickup tears down an abandoned gravel logging road. Pine, birch, and maple trees fly past as the truck speeds down the road, only slowing to pull off into a small clearing in the dense forest. A few people are gathered at the edge of the clearing, waiting for the guest of honor to exit his vehicle. Approaching the mud and dust covered shell, Brad Paisley's song "Online" can be hear coming from the interior as the driver shuts the engine off and exits the vehicle.
Walking towards the back of the vehicle, the young driver kicks dirt up with his Caterpillar boots. Coming around to the tailgate, his blue jeans and a t-shirt from Hell (Michigan) come into view. Looking up from underneath his Snap-On baseball hat, the human speaks.
"Well, hi there. I didn't expect anyone to come see me this far out from town," the young man says, leaning against the tailgate. "I suppose I know why you're here. You're here for that "This Is Me" thing, aren't you? Well, I suppose I can tell you about myself."
"My name is Arkona. Arkona Kothe. I'm also known as blackandwhite1, in some places. " he says, shifting uncomfortablely as he introduces himself. "I'm 20 years young, though I feel old as hell. My body likes to think otherwise after working my ass off for the past 6 years. "
A smile comes across his tanned face. "I've been a mechanic for the last two of those years, and I've loved every minute of it. I'm a bit of a gearhead. Cut me; I'll probably bleed motor oil." He chuckles to himself. "Practically everything in my life revolves around cars. Go to work, working on cars; come home, talk about cars; sleep, dream about cars. It never ends!" He laughs again.
"I guess it's kinda bred into me. My family and I have lived around Detroit for the past 70 years. Everyone older than me in my family has, or had, worked for the Big Three at one point. Growing up, so much of my life revolved around cars, it's no wonder I got sucked in." He laughs, yet again.
He pauses for a moment, kicking up dust from the dry dirt below. "Probably doesn't surprise you that all of my close friends are into cars, too. Well, those who weren't into killing people." He cracks a smirk as he notices the shocked expression from the few people in the clearing.
"Yeah, one of my good friends is serving a life sentence for killing a guy. They called it the "Thrill Kill Murder" here on the news. Fitting title, actually. He always talked to me in class about different ways to kill people, and how he wanted to become a professional hitman after he graduated. Guess he couldn't wait." He chuckles again. "Scariest thing about the whole ordeal for me was he offered me LSD the day he killed his friend. Makes me wonder if he was going to do me in or what." He shivers from the thought of his friend wanting to kill him.
Shaking his head, he gets back on track. "You guys are probably wondering what this has to do with being a furry. Well, it really doesn't. You see, in order to understand me, you have to know I practically life two separate lives. During the day, I'm just a human, going about my mundane tasks, being a pawn in society's game of chess. But at night," his skin begins to ripple. A muzzle starts to push out from under the baseball cap. The sound of bones cracking and shifting becomes more and more intrusive in the quiet of the forest, and the former man begins growing slightly taller. His hands slowly change from bare fingers, to paw pads. His ears slowly move up the side of his head and start to be covered by a flap of skin. He steps away from the back of the truck as a tail pushes out from behind him. He looks at his freshly formed paws and fur begins to sprout from them. He shivers as black and white fur covers the rest of his body; the final step in the transformation process. Now, in place of the human, stands a 6'3 anthro Newfoundland.
"That's better." He continues where he left off. "At night, I become a furry. I spend countless hours before bed on sites like SoFurry and FurAffinity. I enjoy being this." He motions down his newly transformed body. "This is also me. There are times where I'm just not human. Most of the time, I feel like I would be more comfortable in this body. It just seems natural."
"Like many of us, though, I keep this part of myself hidden. I can only count on one paw the number of people that actually know I'm a furry." He hangs his head low for a moment. "I think I want to keep it that way, though. I don't have the most accepting friends and family. They will go off of the stereotypes and freak out and think I'm going to fuck all of their animals or some stupid shit like that." He balls his paw up into a fist. "It needs to remain a secret from them, but I'm pretty much open to everyone else!"
"Like many of us, I found the fandom through the internet. I found it slightly illegally..." he nervously twitches, and plays with his tail. "I was 11 when I first found pictures drawn by a furry artist. Yes, they were adult in nature. And yes, I got caught by my parents. So I stayed away. I stayed away for three years. Then, bodily changes made the need to see those pictures more important, so I went back. After those became 'boring', Google helped me find more pictures from the fandom. Places like VCL and Chakat's Den became my favorite sites. Soon, I began to learn about 'yiff' and other furry stuff." He opens the tailgate on the truck and sits down.
"At first, I was reluctant to join this 'fandom'. 'I don't want to be a furry,' I'd think to myself. I was scared of what my friend's would think and that stopped me from going farther. But then I thought, 'you know what? Fuck it!'" he says sternly. "I got past the fear of people finding out. So I kept searching. That's when Google brought me upon Yiffstar. Then finally at age 18, I created an account on the freshly renewed and redesigned SoFurry. It was then I finally became comfortable being a furry."
"Searching through the many pictures, stories, and journals, I began to discover myself. Not only my kinks, but also what I had been lacking in my life. The hole left deep inside; the human part could not fill, it had to be my 'sona. So through various pics and stories and help from friends, I began to piece together myself as you see me now." Cracking a smile, he gets up off the tailgate and paces.
"I've made numerous friends through being a fur. Dasher Cheetah, Gray Muzzle, s p, HolidayPup, HybridVigor; just to name a few. They have all helped me through different stages in my life, be it girls, drama, or just trying to figure myself out. They have been there for me. I wouldn't be myself without my friends, regardless if I know them in real life or just through a computer. I thank you guys!
"Many other furs have also helped with getting my confidence up. Basically, my love life sucked. I dated a good friend for a while, and I fucked up royal," he explained as he smacked himself in the head, "Word to the wise; always comfort your girlfriend, regardless of why they're upset." Staring out into space, he realizes, "Come to think of it, she's one of the only people now that know I'm a fur and she's actually a fur." (DarkHighlandTigerKris) He shakes his head, getting back on track yet again.
"After my friend and I broke up, I tried to date another girl. She basically laughed at me right to my face for asking her out. That doesn't help to bring up the confidence level." He pauses, hiding almost shedding a tear.
"Thanks to all of my friends in the fandom, my confidence has been pretty much restored. The final bit that I needed was brought back to me by my current girlfriend," crossing his fingers, "who hopefully won't crush my hopes and dreams once again. She's a really great girl, and I hope to be with her for quite a while." He pauses for a moment, kicking the ground.
"After a certain point though, you start to feel like you should do something. I certainly did. For months, I've felt the need to do something, anything, to contribute. . I have not contributed anything to the fandom. Crappy sketches I posted from being bored in class don't really cut it. I've been talking about writing various stories for years now, and nothing has come of it. I get an idea in my head, and I become too lazy to write it out. I have had this problem with three different stories since I first starting calling myself a fur."
Opening his arms, he almost shouts, "So here I am! My first attempt; my first time putting my neck out there. Here I am, putting myself out here, showing the world just who I am. This..IS..ME!!!!" He calms down a bit, closing the tailgate on the truck. "Thank you all for coming out. Please enjoy your stay in Michigan's beautiful Upper Peninsula!" The Newfoundland begins the transformation back into his human form walking back to get in the truck. As the truck starts to move down the forest road, the driver start's playing "Under and Over It" by Five Finger Death Punch; the lyrics from the song echos through the dense pine forest, along with the last line uttered by him. "This is me!"
This is me.
Song references:
"Online" by Brad Paisley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE6iAjEv9dQ&ob
"Under and Over It" by Five Finger Death Punch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWi7ZtAnIbY
Thank you all for reading!!! My first attempt at posting anything here. Questions, comments, peace offerings appreciated!