Darkness 1: Beginning
#1 of Darkness
Why?
Why is this happening to me?
What is happening to me?
Where am I?
I'm on a cobbled street, and it's nighttime. It's raining hard, and the rain soaks my clothes as I lie on my back on the hard cobblestones. I can't move my body. I'm not stunned or paralyzed or anything; it's like I'm winded and I'm going to get up, just not quite yet. I can move my head though, and do so as I look around me for more clues as to where I am. Dark houses line either side of the street, some with lights on, some looking utterly deserted. The houses seem to huddle in on me as I lie, like curious passers-by. Thinking like this, it's easy to see how the lights in the windows look like eyes, and the door is a mouth opened wide, giving each house a shocked expression. Lampposts are set up along the street, each with a melted wax candle in a twisted iron bracket, protected by glass panes, so that the rain doesn't snuff out the fire.
Who am I?
I... it's hard. Do I even know? I'm about 16, looking at my body, but why do I need to look to be sure? What's my name?
Why is it so hard? I have a name, don't I? I'm in a strange place, completely alone. Right now, more than any other time, I need my name, something to cling on to as the one constant in this crazy chain of events.
A.
It begins with A, my name. I know that. Maybe if I go to sleep I'll remember more when I wake up? Then again, cold hard wet cobblestones are not the best place to catch a few zs. I really should get up, but I really don't feel like it.
A-
A-s
A...st?
Asp?
Ash?
Ash is closer; I can feel it. My head is just... so blurry. I can't think straight. Thoughts keep emerging from the fog, and then slipping back before I can force them to hold still. A man and a woman, their faces cloudy but with a definite shape. Do I know them? My heart beats faster when I think of the pair of them; at least, I think it does. But I can't be sure. The pitter-patter of the rain is so like the thump, thump, thumping of my heart to my ears that I can't be sure. Wait, yes! I felt it there. I know them, but how?
Oh, never mind, they're gone now.
Ash-a?
Ash-i?
Ash-o?
Ashe? Yes! It's right! I know
I feel like I might be able to move now, though I can't feel my legs. Better get under cover, away from the rain before I catch something.
Achoo!
Oh shit, too late. Still, let's not make it worse. Left shoulder, up and over, flip me onto my stomach so I can crawl. Yes! Did it. Come on arms; don't fail me now, not now when I need you. You can do it: it's easy. One step at a time: left, right, left, right. Slower than I had hoped, but I'm moving, one step at a time. Well, hand-step. Is that even a word? What is the hand version of the footstep? I don't think I really care, but I'll ask all the same.
And under cover. See, that wasn't so hard, was it, arms? Hang on, my head feels foggy again. Think! Hang on!
Ashe. Ashe. Think nothing else, not for one moment. Don't lose it, you're so close, fight the fog! Keep it off! But it can't be fought. Close it in your fist and it seeps out through the gaps in your fingers. Try to hit it, and it shrinks from your hand and slides by. You can't fight the fog.
Why am I trying? What am I worth? If I die, right here, right now, what will it matter? I can't remember anything, so I must have nothing worth remembering, or no one that thinks I'm worth remembering. One of the two. I'm nothing, just Ashe. A single word, scattered amongst the stars. Do I have any idea how insignificant I am, how little anyone would care if I were to die? I would just be a corpse in the street. I would probably get in other people's way, trip them up, and be a nuisance. That's all I seem to remember being good at. Being worthless. I look up at the stars. Do they have people, too? Would they miss me?
No.
Oh shit, I stopped thinking about my name!
Quick!
A...
A...
A...S...
A...S...H...
The fog beckons...
No! Not now! I have to live! I can't die!
Such an effort to think, don't you think? So much better to just drift.
I... I'm sinking! I can't hold on! Please, somebody help me! Anybody, help me!
Wait, who's that? End of the street, dark figure, long coat, short hair. Please see me, please help me! I can't cry out, can't make a noise. I'm nearly gone; the fog is beckoning...
He sees me...
He walks, then jogs, now he's running...
Save me, please, save me...
Save A...s...h...e....