Watcher of the World, Speaker of Peace
How can you describe life? Majestic? Beautiful? Full of opportunity? It is a simple fact.....life cannot be described in a single word, that if anything is certain in this world. I have lived life and known its beauty and its hate for itself.....
I suppose I was born the average person...middle class, two hard working but caring parents and plenty of friends who liked me for who I was. I was young, I was happy where I was, I had no intention to question my paradise like the angels and carefree souls in heaven. I had fun, I loved, I laughed and I played......I was.....happy.
But anywhere there were its small problems...a fight here, hurtful words and crying for damaged feelings there but otherwise I knew true peace......but ask yourself.....how do you know your true paradice when its taken away from you? How you know that the very place you live in right now is a nice haven but you may think of it otherwise. I suppose when I first started really looking at the world and truly started to understand peace was when I moved away. I never got a chance to say goodbye to my real friends....I begged my parents to at least stop at one of them so they could spread the word to the others......but they didn't......my whole life I lived there....and I left with hardly a whisper.
I moved to a small town surrounded by little farmer settlements where I was the born city boy. This place was not for me. The first years were indeed hell....or at least my hell......that is another thing about religion I will talk about later.....how is hell described in one word? It isn't like all the various people and opinions....hell has many ways to break you.
Only a week into my arrival into this new place did I meet two boys one was my age and the other was his little brother. They gave me a kind smile and thoughtful compliments....and me only starting to understand the world let them in. I thought we were playing....I thought we were having fun....but they didn't......They took what little food we had when we moved in here....they visited a few times each week and ate as much as they could from the cabinets and refrigerator......And on the last they visited....and my parents warning me to not let them eat.....I decided to ask a simple question that any 'friend' would know......
"What is my name?"
They didn't know or answer.....I told them a million times.......and they didn't care.....they just ate......I think I told simply "Get the fuck away from me and out of my house"......I never saw them again.
I knew betrayal on my first week here......not a good start I thought......and school hadn't even started yet....I walked alone in the crowded hallways and people who had known each other since birth and they had their circles......and they didn't want anyone new in their circles....
I knew humuliation....I knew hurt and I knew pain.....and I knew....loneliness.....I think the words that struck me most was on the 3 third week of school when people were talking about the local football team and how they measured against a rival football team.....They asked me 'the new kid' what they thought of the next game coming up.
I didn't want to pick sides or hurt anyones feelings....I said "I don't know....I just got here....I suppose I will cheered for our team but I've heard our rivals are pretty good" I said smiling
Their face went cold and I think the thing that started my true thinking was this "Who cares what you think?" They said with serious faces and ment every word. Those words broke me....but when I was broken....I saw something else.....a new chance.
My past life was over.....this was my hell and I would have to get use to it.....imagine....getting use to hell. I was hated for no reason whatsoever maybe because I was a city kid....maybe because I listened to their numerous attacks of "Shut up" said in more horrible ways then that, that I did take their advise and shut up.
We would always pledge alligence to the flag and I wondered.....how was this free? To have the freedom of speech....but no one cares what you have to say.......to be free to follow your own path......as long it was in the limits and a straight narrow path....To be free of the chains of oppression.....but to still be blocked by a massive wall with hardly any room for you.
Since no one was thinking like I was I decided to simply watch my classmates and see what I could learn from them...Here is my offical report.....
All I care about is how good I look, what sports I play in, what hot girls I date with or vice versa, and when I get old enough to drink beer and do drugs.......that is all they ever talked about.....for 5 years........every sentence.....every topic had something to due with the above.....and It was torture for my mind......but that was their life....and I wanted them to tell them what they should see.
But how do you convince someone who believes their in paradise when their not? I think they truly believe they are in paradise.....and I see numerous times where those people go in their lifes.......nowhere.
I was here for 3 years before I was just breaking from the ignorance and hate here for no good reason....My words ment nothing to them so I went to the one I believed would listen to anyone.....God.
I prayed at the local church hoping to here his voice or some evidence of his care of my plight or my situation.....but he said nothing.....I was left to ponder alone....abandoned by my 'fellow humans' and my 'god'.
I became very interested in the news....I listened to the suffering all over the world and how easy and small my problems were to them....they had no time to think like I was....they had to find a way to survive the next day....and I felt some....similarity to them.
I became very involved in the worlds affairs but not in the speaking sense....only action wise...I gave alot of money to charity even though I would never say a kind word.....I looked upon the hate of this world and I gave it simply what it wanted....more hate.
I may have given a $100 dollars to starving kids but I hated how their own parents sometimes joined the very thing causing the suffering....I hated pain of all kinds...with a passion. I felt like....a somewhat warrior of god even though I knew he didn't talk to me or told me what actions to do.....I felt like I had to do good....like...it was my purpose.
All you hear about in the news was people who kill for no reason.....sometimes perfectly normal people just grabbing a gun and killing as many as they could....evil...but for no reason....I thought to myself......there must be some...who are good.....but for no reason either.......I was one of those people.....and I desperatly wanted to meet another.....one of the only I could relate too. I have yet to find one.
But for me it was not just Christianity I had problems with.....it was every religion....Islam, Buddism, every single religion seemed to me have a single purpose......peace for everyone......but yet....we you read in between the lines you hear...kill all who don't worship me.....kill all other gods except me......What kind of god-any god claims to be peaceful and loving? But yet encourage war and death?
I know what people say....war is in our blood....we will always have war.....it is human nature......I say.....has anyone even tried to stop war? Has anyone once said...No....we will not fight....and neither should you.....you claim you want justice and peace but you bring suffering and death....with many who don't even want it...on both sides.
Justice is a funny concept.....it's described as a man doing a rightous and holy act of good.....but can also lead to some of the worst monstrosities in human kind and history. I want peace....I want to end war, racism, and pain of all kinds but there must be sacrifices on all sides.
Even though many have hated me for saying this but I truly believe it is one of the things that needs to be done to take a good step forward to the human race......abandoned and destroy religion of all types.....I know what most of you will think.....You will burn in hell Castro Talon.....God will send you to hell...but please think about it!
How many wars are started simply out of religion? How many people have died for these figures in the sky? We wonder why they don't contact with us often?....it's because they hate how we are doing it.....were going into lands and killing anyone who resists......yet we say...."its for the good of mankind.".....how is killing people for the better of mankind?!
If we give up religion....there will be nothing to hold any god to say.....whites are my favorite....or Jews are the chosen people or I will save those of Muslim blood.....if we get rid of that idea......we are equal in the since of godly pride........Think about it!
Say if a Muslim fixed our economy right now....fixed it up and ended world hunger....and then cured cancer but was still sent to hell simply because he was Muslim....I would say to god himself....you are wrong god....it shouldn't matter what god if any god you worship.....it should be what you do with that god that should matter.....if you kill innocents of any religion you are doomed to hell...but if you help those of different races and cultures....how could anyone blame you for trying to help others? How is that wrong?
God and the church constantly preach about the good of humanity....but if....they very worship of a god.....is a test to see if we know what is better for humankind? Will we continue to kill each other and let both sides perish? Or will we finally say...enough......Were tired....we can't fight anymore.....we have to end the pain and killing.
Prehaps I am completely wrong.....Prehaps I am destined for hell for speaking out against the worship of god.....I have never seen god or talked to him...so I do not claim to know his will.....if I ever do met god.....I will have some complaints for him...but otherwise I will go about his bidding....and if that is hell.....then I burn and rot.
For I am a Watcher of the World.....and a Speaker of Peace. This is me.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kij2r6GsZFU Justifed Drea J.
Dragons Lair This is Me-Challenge
Please do not label me as an insane person or a maniac...I am just a person who is tired of hate and wants peace....and I just think about things alot....I am actually quite a nice person when you get to know me. ^_^