Star Zero episode 1
#1 of Star Zero
Well here it is, the first part of my epic 7 episode Star Zero series. From the year of 2005(?), a time when everyone was disappointed the 1989 Transformers movie never happened in real life, a fox teams up with a fox and human who are the same person just different sides of the universe or somewhere whatever. A team where their screw ups are considered accomplishments, to take down the snobby and show-offy assholes...also monkies. They form a mercenary group called...Star Zero.
Takes place after interview #8~ http://www.sofurry.com/page/269345/user
========
~Prologue~ ~After Kazufox's interview with the James McCloud from Starfox and F-Zero, Kazufox decided to form the mercenary team, Star Zero. Both James' are members regardless of the fact that they are doing this against their wills...And to not make things confusing, the furry James will be called Fox Sr. and human James will just be called Human.~
_The Day in the Life of Star Zero_
~Location: Star Zero base in Mute City~
*Kazufox*: Hey, James, James. I've got an idea. *Both James*: What? *Kazufox*: I realized that our ships are the same color as the Starfox team. I don't want to be called a copycat so...I had our ships painted black and gold! *Human*: Wait, Why are our ships painted black and gold if our emblem is black and white? *Kazufox*: I like the black and gold better. *Both James*: ...... *Kazufox*: I even renamed my ship, the Dark Fox. And also, since we're new and everything. How about we introduce ourselves to everyone? *Both James*: (gets idea) Sure.
*Kazufox*: Then let's go!
~Later in park~
~The three pass by a little girl crying~ *Kazufox*: Hey, what's wrong? *Girl*: My cat is stuck in the tree! *Kazufox*: Don't worry, we'll get it down. Star Zero, form the Kazu Slingshot. ~The two James boost Kazufox as he jumped from their hands. Kazufox searches the tree until he finds Katt~ *Kazufox*: YOU!?! *Katt*: Oh hey there. *Kazufox*: You're the cat in the tree? *Katt*: Of course. Do you see any other cats? ~Kazufox looks around desperately trying to find another cat but doesn't~ *Kazufox*: So...that little girl was talking about you? *Katt*: She sent you to get me? Please don't send me back. I'll give you a big kiss if you leave me here! ~Kazufox pauses for a moment~ *Fox Sr.*: Excuse me little girl, you do know how to read right? *Girl*: Yes, why? *Fox Sr.*: Oh no reason. (moves shades and shows that he has on his eyelids 'save me') *Girl*: Are you okay mister? *Human*: Yeah, he's okay. (does same as other James) *Girl*: You have funny hair. *Fox Sr.*: Do you know where the police station is little girl? *Girl*: Yes, why? *Fox Sr.*: (gives letter) This is for you to take to them. *Girl*: Sorry, but my mommy told me not to take gifts from strangers. *Fox Sr.*: Please, for the love of God!! Take it! It's an S.O.S.! Give it to them, so they can help us! *Human*: Please, tell the police that we're being held against our will! *Girl*: You're funny. ~The three suddenly hear loud hissing noises from the tree~ *Katt*: Let me go, let me go! *Kazufox*: You're going! Don't kiss me! *Katt*: Oh, is that it!? Come here then and pucker up. *Kazufox*: GAH!! I said no kissing! You're gonna make me- *crash* *Kazufox*: ...fall. *Girl*: Kitty!! *Katt*: Oh no! *Girl*: Thanks for saving my kitty mister. ~Both James hold poster boards saying 'help us' and 'we'll pay you if you do'~ *Kazufox*: No problem, right guys? *Both James*: (hide posters) Yeah...sure, no problem. *Girl*: Who are you guys anyways? ~Katt holds a poster saying 'Free kisses if you save me from this girl'~ *Kazufox*: We're...Star Zero! ~All three do their poses~ *Girl*: Wow, I'll tell all my friends about you! And as for you! *Katt*: (hides poster) *gulp* *Girl*: (demonic voice) You've been a bad kitty and you deserve to be punished!! ~The girl leaves as she drags Katt by a leash~ *Kazufox*: Well guys, mission accomplished! The word is out about Star Zero! *Fox Sr.*: This probably means we're going to have to save cats in trees all the time... *Human*: For all the demon possessed children of the world... *Kazufox*: You guys worry too much, you've got to remember the power of imagination! This is just a start, but soon, we'll be as big as Starwolf and beyond! Trust me.
*Both James*: ......
~Later in deep space~
*Kazufox*: James', are you ready? *Human*: Yeah. *Fox Sr.*: All set here. *Kazufox*: Good, get into formation. We strike on my mark. Let's take it to them! ~The Arwing, Wyvern and Wolfen custom now called the Dark Fox fly into formation near a large space cruiser~ *Kazufox*: Alright, we do this in 3...2...1...NOW!! ~The three pull down their pants and moon the ship~ *Crowd*: *gasp* *Kazufox*: Ha-ha! We've got them good now. *Crowd*: Yeah! Oh, yeah! *cheers* Show that stuff. Woooo!! That ass is soooo sexy! *Fox Sr.*: Uh oh. *Human*: This isn't good. *Kazufox*: (checks computer) Holy *****!! This is the gay cruise ship paradise!! Star Zero, move it!!!!
~The ships fly out into hyperspace~
~Later at base~
*Kazufox*: Dammit James, that's the third screw up this week! *Human*: I have trouble with these shades on. *Kazufox*: Then take them off! *Fox Sr.*: Hey, respect your elders! *Kazufox*: You're starting to sound like Peppy. *Fox Sr.*: ...... *Kazufox*: Whatever, let's do what we always do when we screw up a mission. Go pick on Andross and get some ice cream!
*Fox Sr.*: Rock on!
~Later~
*Kazufox*: Did you see the look on his face when he saw what we did to his car? *Fox Sr.*: Yeah, that alchemy stuff really came in handy. *Kazufox*: I still can't believe you turned his car into a statue of a giant ass mooning him. ~The three bust out laughing~ *Kazufox*: Aw man, that was awesome. Same time tomorrow? *Fox Sr.*: Err...*cough* *Human*: Well you see...
*Kazufox*: Great, see you tomorrow, otherwise I know where to find you.
~The next day~
*Human*: So what are we doing this time? Still trying to find the ships the rich and famous go on just to moon them? *Fox Sr.*: More tricks on Andross!
*Kazufox*: Actually, we've got a job. To the robocon!
~Later at robocon with Batman effects~
*Kazufox*: Alright, what's going on? *Stan*: Jesus Christ dude! These robots just came to life and started killing everyone! *Cartman*: I told you we should've left the Jew there. *Kyle*: Shut up fat ass! *Fox Sr.*: Oh crap. Not the South Park kids. *Human*: What? They're that bad in person? *Fox Sr.*: Worst. *Cartman*: Hey, I remember you. You're that furry drunken asshole that tried to kill us. And who the hell is that guy? *Human*: I'm James McCloud. I'm like a human version of the other James. *Cartman*: Oh I see, so you're the human drunken asshole version of the guy that tried to kill us. *Fox Sr.*: That does it. (pulls out blaster) *crash* ~Kenny gets knocked in front of Cartman by an explosion as Fox Sr. fired~ *Stan*: Oh my God! They killed Kenny! *Kyle*: You bastard! *Kenny*: Mmph mm mmmph. *Kazufox*: He's alive! Tell me what happened. *Kenny*: Mmmph mph mmph mm-mph mmph mmph! Mph mmph mmmph mph mmph. Mmmph mmph mmph mm-m-mph mmm mmmph. *Kazufox*: I see...so Slippy found some virus programs and inserted it into the robots causing them to go...Maverick. Come on! We have to stop them before X and the others show up and claim our prize! Star Zero, move out! ~The three rush into the main hall where they find Slippy hiding under a table~ *Kazufox*: You! (picks up Slippy by the collar) *Slippy*: *gulp* *Kazufox*: Where did you get the programs for these things? *Slippy*: Some guy in an alley gave it to me. *Kazufox*: What the hell were you thinking!? *Fox Sr.*: He's right, you shouldn't be taking things from strangers. *Slippy*: But he said his name was Sigma. *Human*: Just because they tell you their name doesn't mean that they still aren't strangers. *Fox Sr.*: If you don't personally know that person then that person is still a stranger. *Slippy*: Wow, now I know. *Kazufox*: And knowing is half the battle. *Announcer*: The Transformers. *Fox Sr.*: Huh? *Human*: What? *Kazufox*: Oh I get it. That was from the original series at the end, you know. When they would have a little extra to teach some important lesson. They did the same for G.I. Joe and the original Sonic. *crash* ~The two robots rise from the ground, one is a red version of Burning Gundam and the other is a green version of Tallgease~ *Kazufox*: Who are you two? *General Tallgease*: I am...General Tallgease! (poses) *Burning Red*: I am...Burning Red! (poses) *Kazufox*: Do I know you two? *General*: You should since you turned our bodies into statues! *Kazufox*: Oh! Now I remember, you were those two mobile suits that helped Bill Gates. I remember that. Whatever happened to Bill anyways? *Red*: He was put in the hospital after that incident and because of that bastard Ryusen, we were nothing but scrap! *General*: That is until Sigma found us and decided to help. He gave us to Slippy and he took care of the rest. *Fox Sr.*: That's low, taking advantage of a retarded toad. *Slippy*: I'm a frog. *Kazufox*: (hits Slippy's head) Shut up, he's trying to make a point! *Red*: Who cares! We'll take advantage of the elderly if we have to! Just like the time we helped Peppy across the street but we pit pocketed him and left him in the middle of traffic! It was awesome! *General*: Yes, you should've seen what he did to all those cars when someone called him a stupid old fart. It was hilarious! The mass destruction that old man caused was too much, I still can't stop laughing! Ah ha ha ha! Human: You not only robbed him, but you exploited his weakness of being called old? That's a new level of low. *Red*: I know, isn't it cool? *General*: Yes. And by the way Kazufox, we're here to destroy you still for revenge! *Kazufox*: I've heard enough, let's take it to them! ~They split up as Kazufox takes on Burning Red and the two James take on General Tallgease. Kazufox forms his alter Shell Shurigun~ *Red*: Now take this...my love, my anger and all of my sorrow! Burning Erupting Fingers!! *Kazufox*: That was Shining Gundam! Shell Shurigun Burst!! ~The two attacks hit and cancel each other out but Red's hand is still hot~ *Red*: Heheh! Feel the burn! *Kazufox*: Gaaah!! ~The two James dodge the bazooka attacks from General Tallgease and fire with their blasters~ *General*: Hey, that tickled. *Human*: It's no use. The blasters are having no effect. *General*: Let me show you some REAL firepower! ~General fires his bazooka and one stray shot blows up Kenny~ *Stan*: Oh my God! THEY killed Kenny! *Kyle*:YOU bastards! *Red*: Do you give up? *Kazufox*: Fool, you fell right into my trap! (forms alter on left arm) *Red*: What!? He can use both arms!? *Kazufox*: Shell Shotgun Burst!! ~Kazufox punches through the red orb in the center of the gundam's chest and the gundam is sent flying backwards and crashes into the wall with the force of a shotgun still drilling into him~ *Red*: No...How can this be!? GAAAAAHH!!! *BOOOOOOOOM* *Kazufox*: That was fun. (sees James') Don't worry, help is coming! ROB, send over some weapons. *Fox Sr.*: ROB? *Kazufox*: Yeah, this one is ROB DS since the DS is the latest system the Starfox series has out and it sounds cool. *Human*: When did we get- *ROB DS*: Transmitting weapons. ~Several homing launchers and gatling guns appear~ *Fox Sr.*: Does it matter? (takes gatling gun and fires) *Human*: Guess not. (fires homing launcher) *Kazufox*: Keep firing! (pulls out blaster and starts shooting) *boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom* *Human*: When can we stop? *Kazufox*: When you two run out of ammo. ~The barrage ends~ *Kazufox*: Watch it. ~They wait for the smoke to clear~ *Fox Sr.*: Something's not right. ~Kazufox pulls out his blaster and takes a few steps closer to the smoke then suddenly the severely damaged General lunges towards him with a beam saber~ *General*: Now you die!! *Kazufox*: Hurry, finish him! ~The two James get on each side and fire their blasters into the reactor inside General~ *General*: How could I've been...Hrrgh. This...isn't over. Not by...a long shot! *Slippy*: Yippie!! You did it! *BOOOOOOOOM* *Kazufox*: (returns to normal state) *huff* You guys okay? *Human*: Yeah, but what about you? *Kazufox*: I've been through worst. *Fox Sr.*: That doesn't surprise me. *Kazufox*: Good work team, let's go home. *Red*: Ha ha ha ha ha!! I don't think so! ~The heroes see Burning Red standing and still alive~ *Kazufox*: How is that possible? That close a range with my strongest attack, you should be dead! *Red*: You were close but no cigar. Now none of you will be leaving here alive! *beep...beep...beep* *Human*: He's gonna blow! *Kazufox*: Everyone get out now!! ~Red fires his vulcan cannons to cause the only exit to cave in~ *Fox Sr.*: No, we're trapped. *beep...beep...beep...beep* *Kazufox*: I've got an idea. (uses General's saber to cut a hole in wall) Let's go!! ~Everyone runs out as Red is still ticking~ *beep...beep...beep, BEEP* *Red*: You lose. HUUUAAAAAAAARRRGGGHH!!! *BOOOOOOOOM* ~The convention was destroyed and Star Zero saved the day~ *Slippy*: I can't believe I'm still breathing. ~A support beam falls and squishes Slippy~ *Stan*: Oh my God! They killed Slippy? *Kyle*: You bastards? (shrugs) *Cartman*: The day is saved and Slippy is dead. *Kazufox*: And we're getting our pay. What else could make this day better? *Megaman X*: Oh no. What happened? *Kazufox*: Oh...nothing except we beat you to the Mavericks! *Axl*: Aww...are you sure there aren't any left? *Human*: Does anything look left? *Zero*: I knew we should've split up. While we destroyed Sigma's hideout, one of us should've been here. But it's a good thing you guys were here. *Kazufox*: Thanks Zero. That really means something coming from a guy like you. *Zero*: What's that supposed to mean? *Fox Sr.*: Well, James. What do you think? *Human*: He's got the makings of a good leader in him. *Fox Sr.*: I know. How about we stay with his team.
*Human*: Sure, besides. We get paid in beer for this.
~Later at base~
*Kazufox*: Hmm... *Fox Sr.*: Hey Kazu, what's up? *Kazufox*: Huh? Oh, just thinking of a way to piss off Marth. *Human*: You just had to say piss, didn't you? *Kazufox*: I've got it! Get into your ships and let's go. Make sure you drink plenty of beer, when we get there. *Fox Sr.*: Remember kids, drinking can be fun when you're an adult. *Kazufox*: But it's not fun when you drink and drive. *Fox Sr.*: Be cool, stay in school. *Kazufox*: Wait, I thought the message was no drinking and driving. *Human*: Why can't I just use the bathroom? *Kazufox*: Never put one in. *Human*: But...
*Kazufox*: Time's wasting! Let's go!
~Later at Marth's~
*Fox Sr.*: Why are we doing this again? *Kazufox*: Because I hate that showoffy Marth with a fiery passion. *Human*: I REALLY have to GO!! *Kazufox*: Hold on, I've found his room. *Fox Sr.*: How can you tell? ~Kazufox points to the portrait of Marth in the room~ *Kazufox*: Okay, where is it? (looks through dresser) Ah-ha! Found it. *Fox Sr.*: His shirt drawer? What are you... *Human*: You've got to be kidding. *Kazufox*: I thought you had to go? *Human*: I do but...Get out so I can do this! ~The two wait outside as James takes care of his business~ *Fox Sr.*: That's a mean trick you're doing. *Kazufox*: So what? I hate his snobby butt as much as you hate Andross. *Fox Sr.*: Actually...I have to go to. (grins)
*Kazufox*: (grins) We can always make a pit stop at our favorite monkey's bedroom.
~Later~
*Fox Sr.*: Let's hurry up, I want to see Andross' face when he gets into bed. *Kazufox*: Next time we'll do it to Marth. *Human*: I can't believe you two. *sigh* *Kazufox*: Shh! He's coming! *Marth*: Huh? Wha? Why are my shirts all wet? *sniff* Oh my God!! ~The three start laughing~
*Kazufox*: Hey, let's go see Andross.
~That night at Andross'~
*Human*: I still can't believe you actually did this. *Kazufox*: Hey, you peed in Marth's clothes remember? *Fox Sr.*: Shh! Here goes.
*Andross*: *yawn* (gets in bed) *sniff...sniff, sniff* Dammit, McClouds, get over yourselves!
~Back into deep space~
*Human*: What are we doing out here? *Kazufox*: It's the last job for today, I promise. *Fox Sr.*: Okay, I've got it this time. *Kazufox*: Alright time, let's take it in low. ~The three fly near a large space cruiser~ *Kazufox*: In 3...2...1...NOW!! ~The three pull down their pants and moon the ship~ *Crowd*: Ooooh, that is sooo hot. Come on baby, give me some more. Oh yes! *Star Zero*: WTF!?! *Kazufox*: Hold on. (checks computer) Oh *****!! This is the rich hooker and prostitute cruise ship!! *Human*: Wait, they actually have those!? *Fox Sr.*: Apparently, or did you forget we're in a universe where nothing makes sense? *Human*: Good point. *Kazufox*: Let's GOOOOO!!!!
~The three fly off into hyperspace at Ludicrous speed~
~Back at base~
*Kazufox*: Well, that sucked. *Fox Sr.*: It could be worst, what if they got someone's phone number? *Kazufox*: Or address? *Human*: Wait...you didn't. *Kazufox and Fox Sr.*: Maybe. *Kazufox*: I left Marth's. *Fox Sr.*: I left Andross'. ~The two high five each other~ *Human*: So this mission wasn't a failure? *Kazufox*: Ha ha ha! We don't fail, we only screw up. That was the last job. Guys, it really is great to have good friends like you two here on my team. (wraps arms around both James' neck) *Fox Sr.*: No problem. (rolls eyes) *Human*: Sure... *Kazufox*: You guys are the BEST alternate species copy friends a guy like me could ever have~ (squeezes) *Fox Sr.*: I admit, it's kinda fun. *Human*: Yeah...fun. (looks to you pleadingly mouthing 'save me') *Kazufox*: Star Zero...you're dismissed. *The End* *Greg*: *sniff* Isn't that a heartwarming story? Knowing that you've got friends you can depend on with your life? And also stay away from hookers, prostitutes and Katt. God only knows what they carry. But I never knew that hookers and prostitutes could be rich. Read Kazufox's interviews, don't take things from strangers, and don't drink and drive remember, dial Star Zero if you want a job done right. And remember, knowing is half the battle.
*Announcer*: G.I. JOOOOOOOOE...
~Nintendo characters are copyright to Nintendo.~ ~Megaman X characters are copyright to Capcom.~ ~Gundams are copyright to Sunrise Inc. but Red belongs to Kazufox and General goes to Faust.~ ~South Park characters are copyright to Comedy Central.~ ~Greg, and Kazufox are copyright to Kazufox.~