FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Written by: inksugar

Disclaimer: This first chapter contains violence and is not to be read by sensitive readers or children.

Chapter 1

Lillian shuddered at the thought of what was to come later. She had had butterflies in her tummy all week. Yes, it was mating season for the otters of the Donray River. Actually, it was more like the last two or three days of it before it would be time to prepare for the mid and cold seasons. Dens were spread all along the river and the early birds got the best spots. If Lillian didn't hurry, she'd have to build her new home on unsteady bank soil or, worse, further away from the water.

So, what happened during the next 24 hours would probably define the rest of her life. She was to be married! And to someone she did not know yet. Any male could claim her. It wasn't about finding someone you liked. It was about finding someone that you could make a prosperous household with. And doing that could be quite difficult if you didn't have a partner. You looked for skill, strength, and health and these were the keys to finding someone who would make you happy. So if this was supposed to be the happiest time of her life (as many females describe it) then why did she want to run away and never come back? She wanted to burry her face in the riverbed and wait for it all to be over. It's not like she was opposed to finding a mate. But this time of year was treated more like a contractual agreement. Folks tended to get to know each other after coupling. Securing ones future was the top priority of everyone. While that wasn't an unreasonable outlook, Lillian couldn't help but wonder, "What was the point?"

To be fair, things could go very right if you found a good partner. There was a saying along the river around this time of year that the older ones usually told nervous young newly weds: _Anyone can get along with anyone if they really want to. But not everyone can survive together. _ Basically, if you chose a strong, willing partner, everything else would fall into place. And the young would go with this because this time of year brings urges that some just couldn't surpass. Or rather their natural urges bring around this time of year. One never can tell. All folks know is that they wanted to mate. Even Lillian felt it in her.

Lillian was concerned with how wrong things could go, though. For one thing, the male always chose the female. It was the female's job to look healthy, pretty, and friendly in the hopes that a strong, resourceful male with robust swimming muscles and hunting skills would claim her or maybe even fight for her hand. Lillian didn't like that aspect one bit. Admittedly, not because of the lack of fairness involved with finding a life partner, which she had every right to show concern about. She was afraid no one was going to pick her. Not being picked meant going at least a whole year alone. Or she could get stuck with someone completely unsuitable to face the seasons with. She didn't want to be alone, but she didn't want to end up with the wrong guy, either. During the winter when the river was frozen in parts, it was pretty much every family for itself. And folks got pretty competitive when they had young to feed. Lillian certainly didn't want to go it alone.

Lillian hugged herself tightly as the rays of sun began to peak through the trees and shine on the running river surface. She had seen females who went it alone and life always seemed harder without a family. Lillian was use to being alone a lot but the company of another was always a better state to be in. A rustling sound from behind startled her out of her thoughts. It was her sister, Maggie, exiting the den. Sleepily, she stretched forwards and then backwards and rubbed her eyes. Maggie's eyes then focused on Lillian.

"Couldn't sleep?" Maggie asked. Lillian only nodded. "Me neither. I'm so excited!" Maggie stood up and embraced Lillian. Maggie exhaled. "By the end of today, both you and I will be married! Oh I can't wait! I'm going to go get the girls!"

Maggie hopped into the river and swam off. As quickly as she was there, she was gone. 'Well it's nice to see she's happy about this whole thing,' Lillian said to herself. Maggie had gone out everyday this mating season to look for a suitable mate and everyday there were at least two males fighting over her. But no one was ever good enough for her. Now that the season was ending, she was running out of options and would probably make due with whoever drew blood first on her behalf. All Lillian could think was that she felt sorry for whoever was going to end up as her mate.

Upon hearing her family, wake up for breakfast, Lillian stepped inside the den. Their sturdy, wooden home was one big space (as was everyone else's): perfect for a family of otters. Most of the time, everyone was outside, so the den was really just for sleeping. Eating and pooping were done outside, however Lillian had heard of places where some animals did both of those things indoors. Lillian couldn't fathom that. As she entered, her little brothers and sisters fussed and rolled on the floor as Lillian's father tried to carefully cleaned them. Lillian plopped onto the floor next to her still dozing mother, buried her head underneath her mothers' belly, and sulked. Her mother yawned and stretched.

"Ya know," Lillian's mother touched the back of Lillian's head. "You don't have to do this. There's always next year."

Her father joined in whilst combing the youngest's hair with his tongue. "Your mother's [HOLD STILL!]...Your mother's right, Lilly. You can always stay home this winter."

"No I couldn't. You guys just had a litter of pups this season. It would get crowded really quickly and I'd only be getting in the way."

"It's no trouble. An extra pair of hands would be nice around the house."

"I've got to get out there on my own. With or without a mate."

The mother and father looked at each other. "Okay sweetheart. If you're sure," her mother continued, "But know that we are always here."

"I know. Thanks."

"Well...if your still up for this, the last thing you need to be doing is hiding out at home. Go find your sister and get yourselves ready."

"I have no idea where she went."

"She said something about Patina's place. Try there. I'm sure she and her friends are doing something ridiculous to themselves in order to get noticed. Don't let them take it too far, okay?"

"Yes, father."

Lillian left to find her sister. The dens along the river were spread very far apart. The older ones were usually further north and the newer ones further south. Lillian decided to head south towards Patina's. Now that the sun was up, the whole community was out and about and everyone was itching to take a swim. Especially Lillian. She was more fish than otter. Swimming down stream would be a lot faster getting where she wanted to go. It was always nice taking that first dip in the morning. As Lillian floated on her back, she used her tail to propel herself. The one time where being alone wasn't so bad was when she was in the water.

"Lillian!" A voice shouted in Lillian's direction. Lillian flipped over and searched. It was Rowan. Lillian had known Rowan for a while. He's always had his eye on her sister. But in an effort to get close to Maggie, Rowan had found a true friend in Lillian.

"What is it?"

"I've got to talk to you."

"Now?"

6 screaming pups wanting to play suddenly pounced on Rowan. His parent's, too, had a litter this season. "Well...not now..." While Lillian's parents wanted her to stay home for at least one more year, Rowan's parents couldn't wait to get rid of him. He was a year older than Lillian and her sister but skipped his own mating season in order to have the chance to be paired up with Maggie this year. "I'll track you down later," he called as she floated by.

Lillian already knew what the conversation was going to be about. He wanted to find out if he truly had a shot with Maggie. He had gone out everyday to see if she was there, and she was. She never seemed interested in what she saw and quickly headed back home. He wanted to see if today she was more inclined to choose. He liked her so much and today was probably the last day he had the chance to pursue her. Unfortunately, a lot of other males liked her too and it was likely that he would have to fight for her. He was a head taller than Maggie and slightly thinner. He was a natural athlete though and his father constantly put him to work fishing for the new young ones.

Lillian went back to floating. She began daydreaming about some perfect gentleotter swimming right up to her and asking her to build a life with him. How romantic that would be.

"Watch it!" she heard a muffled male voice squeak. She flipped over just in time to head butt a meowter with a fish in his jaws. The injured fish managed to flop out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention Yugo!" He did not look pleased. "I didn't mean to bump into you. I hope you're not hurt...I mean..." Yugo hurt. That was a good one. Yugo was a huge mass of muscle and fur. Lillian found herself getting dumber every time she opened her mouth. "Sorry."

"If you were sorry, you'd go get my breakfast."

Without thinking, she sprinted off to find the lost catch. It didn't take long. The panicked fish had gotten a fair distance but an injured fish is an injured fish. Grabbing it in her own jaws, she sprinted back to Yugo. Lillian guessed he liked his food lively, and decided it would be rude to kill it for him. Still, with a freshly re-caught fish in her mouth, it was hard not to chomp down, even a little bit.

"Here you go, Yugo." She said, hoping her success would please him in some way and get rid of the sour expression on his face. Yugo just stared at her, not with anger, but with conceit. As if Lillian was a lower creature than he. It was almost like he was deciding if he wanted the fish after she touched it. Still, he was somewhat impressed at how quickly she was able to recover it. Feeling silly holding a nearly dead fish in her jaws without eating it, she decided to put it down. The minute she did, Yugo grabbed it up and swam away.

A chill ran over her body. "Misery has a face." She said to herself. She decided to swim the rest of the way on her stomach to avoid any more incidents.

Patina's den wasn't far now. In fact she could see it from where she was. Sure enough the girls were there in one big huddle outside of it. Lillian hopped onto the shore and approached them. They were huddled around a leaf with a liquid on it that wasn't water. She soon saw why. She looked her sister up and down as well as her 3 friends, Abigail, Patina, and Viv.

"Wow you guys look...shiny."

"Do you like it?" Maggie twirled, giving her sister a full circle view of her work. "We gathered the oil from some crabwoods the other day. Took us the whole afternoon. It'll keep our fur flat and help us swim faster for when the guys chase us."

"Isn't our natural oil enough?"

Abigail scoffed. "Maybe for the average swimmer, but we're better than that, right girls?"

"I see..." Lillian thought they were overdoing it but if it indeed helped them swim faster than normal then it was worth having. Lillian hadn't noticed the girls staring back at her with disapproving eyes.

"You're not going like that are you?" Viv asked.

"What do you mean?" Lillian questioned.

"Look at yourself." If Lillian didn't know any better, she'd swear Viv was trying to be mean.

"What about the way I look?" Admittedly, Lillian hadn't yet groomed herself today and could stand a lick here and there.

"You don't honestly expect to get picked without looking nice, eh?"

"I...um..." Viv rolled her eyes and began to get to work on Lillian. The other joined in and Lillian stayed still as they did their job. Social grooming was usually a fun affair, but they treated it more like a chore than anything. All but her sister, who would tickle her every now and then on her tummy. Lillian wished she wouldn't because, every time she did, Viv would sternly grunt at her to be still. After a good amount of time had passed, they all seemed satisfied with their work.

"Much better." Patina chimed. "Also she still could use a bit dressing up."

"You're right. She needs this more than any of us." Viv pushed the oil cradled in the leaf towards Lillian. Lillian shook her head, no. Feeling almost Jilted, Viv scrunched her nose. The tension was rising so Maggie stepped in to keep the peace.

"Now Viv. The guys look at swimming ability, too. And we all know that my sister is one of the best swimmers along Dongray. If her looks don't entice, her charm in the water certainly will." Despite being rounder, Lillian was faster than most of the thinner otters, only surpassed by the best of the best. But she confesses she's slow on land.

Lillian decided to take that as a compliment, even though she still didn't feel that great about herself. Viv had spitfire in her but she was no match for Maggie's quick tongue. She immediately felt a bit foolish for even bringing up looks. None of the girls were ugly. Maggie's fur was a bit lighter than most, having inherited that trait from her mother, while Lillian's fur remained dark just like their fathers. Maggie had the most immaculate blue eyes around. Patina had long whiskers. She was certainly not the fastest but had great maneuverability, making her a very successful hunter. Viv was long and slim but still strong. If anyone wanted to raise a healthy family, she was the female to do it with.

Someone whistled in the girls' direction and they looked towards the center of the river. There eyes fell upon a group of males not far away.

"Hey ladies," said a smooth-talking otter with red fur and wild whiskers. "Will we be seeing you all down stream soon...and maybe later tonight?"

"Oh Tino, you brute!" Maggie responded in a flirty voice.

"Come here and say that." He challenged. Maggie grabbed Lillian's shoulder and the girls immediately turned their backs, pretending not to be interested. 'So this is how to catch a guy. Pretend you don't want them' Lillian thought, mentally taking notes. Lillian turned her head back to see the guys laughing and checking them out. She blushed. Some of them actually looked her way. But their attention fell on Maggie, as her figure was preferred. All accept one. Yugo. Despite growing up on the same river, Lillian can't recall him ever saying any more than 2 words to her: move and now. Now she's seen him twice in one day and she spoke directly to him earlier, too. She didn't take either occasion as a good sign. He had dark fur, even more so than Lillian's, with eyes to match. It didn't seem like he liked her staring. He stared back at her as if she had done something wrong. Unnerved, Lillian looked away. Having gotten the response he desired, the dark otter began swimming away. The other males followed. Once sure they were gone, the girls burst out laughing.

"Here." Viv said as she handed the leaf towards Lillian. "It's the last of the oils. Just in case you change your mind." Not wanting to refuse this time, Lillian opened her palm and accepted the gift. Almost immediately, Viv dropped eye contact and directed her attention to the girls. "Come on let's go before all of the good guys are taken." Patina and Abigail quickly followed.

"You girls go ahead. We'll catch up." Maggie said. Viv simply shrugged and went on. Once alone, Maggie sighed with her sister.

"Why is she so mad today?" Lillian had been burning to ask that question for a while now.

"Oh don't worry about her. She's just jealous."

"Of what? Me? Why?"

Maggie leaned in closely as if fearing she was still within earshot of someone. "Because Yugo has his eye on you apparently."

"Yugo?" Lillian asked.

"Yea. He's been Viv's guy, or was supposed to be, for a long time now but for a few days, folks have been saying he's looking at you."

'Days?! We only just saw each other this morning..! Sort of...He probably wanted to end my existence before I wasted too much of natures' time. Fortunately he had to eat and couldn't be bothered,' Lillian thought to herself.

"But I don't even know Yugo. Maybe she's mistaken."

"Well of course she is! This is Yugo. He wouldn't want you!" Maggie caught herself. "I mean he'd want someone a little more go-getter, like Viv." That still didn't come out right. "You're a sweet girl so obviously you're going to attract a sweet guy. Yugo's not 'sweet'." Maggie seemed to be satisfied with this, although Lillian's self esteem seemed to be dropping by the second. "Hey, I'm only telling you what I know. Whether it's true or not, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Anyway, I'm going to head to the shore. And sis...I highly recommend you using the oil." Maggie sauntered away, leaving Lillian very embarrassed. Did she really look that bad?

"I don't want to be ugly," was all she could say.

"You're not," said a nearby voice.

Lillian looked up. "Rowan! So you've made it after all."

"Like my parents would let me miss today. Anyways, I just had to say hi and good luck to my best friend."

"Yea right. You're just here to ask me about my sister."

"Come on, Lillian. Just tell me. Does she really like me or not? Do I have a shot?"

"Wouldn't you rather find that out from her rather than from me? Wouldn't it be more fun to confess to her rather than play guessing games? I know it would be really romantic if a guy did that for me."

Rowan was disinterested in her fairytale. He clasped his paws behind his back and began slowly walking away. "Perhaps you're right. So perhaps I shouldn't tell you which guys have their eyes on you."

"What?!"

"Nothing, nothing. Good luck today."

"Rowan!"

"Tell me about your sister."

"...Fine! She likes you."

"YES!" Rowan said in victory.

"...and two other guys." Rowan's happiness subsided a bit. So he was going to have to compete after all. "But you're sure she likes me."

"Hold up your end of the bargain, Rowan."

"Okay, okay...I can tell you right now that there are 4 guys that are interested in you that I know of."

"4?!" Lillian couldn't believe it. She barely said a word to guys other than Rowan and 4 wanted her. Maybe today wasn't going to be so bad after all.

"But..."

"But? But what?"

"...But only one of them is going to get you." Lillian was confused. "Yugo wants you as his mate."

"My sister said this, too. Why?"

Rowan's face saddened a bit. As if he was about to deliver really bad news. He walked over to Lillian and put his arm around her. "I see him staring at you a lot when you're not looking. None of the others would dare try for you if he's after you."

"He made a dirty look at me earlier. He doesn't like me. He's mean to me. Besides he's Viv's guy."

"He wants you because you're submissive." Rowan said. Lillian's heart dropped. "You're in good shape and an excellent swimmer. You'd make a great mate...and you do what you're told." Lillian didn't want to hear anymore. "Viv is strong and fast and independent. Those are admirable traits to most but I think he thinks he'd have trouble controlling her. Not you though. You're...soft. And would make a perfect mate for him."

"I am not! I'm tough!"

"Not tough enough."

Take that back!"

"Lillian, this is not me talking. This is Yugo."

"So you've talked to him about this, have you?!"

"What? No! I mean he and I are friends and all and I talk to him but you rarely come up... I mean..!" Rowan tried to hug Lillian but she pulled away. He saw he was going to have to break it down for her directly. "You are always trailing your sister. You never lead. You do things for her and her friends that you normally wouldn't. You're always on your mothers' hip. You're soft spoken. You're..."

"Don't say it because I'm not weak!"

"Lillian..."

"Go away!"

Rowan could see he wasn't going to get anywhere with her right now. Lillian's feelings were hurt. Rowan squeezed her shoulder and then began to make his way back to the river. Before going, he spoke.

"Just think about this before you go out there. A lot of the girls want stability and healthy, strong children and Yugo is a guy who will give them that. He's a fair catch. So being with him would not be the end of the world...But I will say this...if you are intent on not being with him, I suggest you skip the courtship this year completely. Yugo will not take no for an answer...especially from you."

Lillian lifted her head up but Rowan was gone. She could hear the faint splashes and laughter as her peers were already heading down south where the river widens. Lillian wanted to die. If she went out there, she'd be forced to be with someone she didn't want to be with. If she didn't...she'd be alone for the winter.

She hung her head low and began heading home. She didn't belong at the courtship. She couldn't go, knowing what she knew. Rowan was right. He was right about everything. She didn't like it when others around her were disappointed in her. She always wanted to please. As she swam past others, tears streamed down her face. Sure, she sometimes did things for her sister that she didn't want to do. And sometimes she didn't do things because others didn't want her to do them. Standing up for herself was something she rarely followed through with. She wasn't just a follower. She was a coward. Fear was going to keep her alone forever. Fear was what was stopping her from doing something she was afraid to do anyway. Fear was probably what was going to keep her home forever. That was probably the saddest part of all this. Thoughts of her mother flooded her mind. She remembered when her mother comforted her when her sister left her out of a game or made her do something bad.

"You are who you make yourself to be. The moment you let someone else make your decisions is the moment you lose your identity."

Lillian stopped swimming. "Mom's right." Lillian suddenly said aloud. "I am who I make myself to be. Me and no one else. This Yugo guy isn't going to bully me out of the future I deserve. I am Lillian," she said. "And I am going to be happy. Besides..." Lillian said in an uneven tone as onlookers watched the crazy girl talk to herself. "...maybe everyone is wrong about Yugo's intentions."

***

Lillian made her way down to the mouth of the river where it spread out. Once she reached her destination, it didn't take long to spot her sister and her friends. The oil did nothing for their looks. They were no shinier than any of the other girls once they entered the water. But they did have a tough time keeping the oil out of their eyes. Next time they probably won't apply to their faces. But the oil did appear to make them go faster. But that didn't matter if you couldn't see where you were going.

Lillian's choice not to partake seemed to be the correct one, though, and it only made her feel stronger. Stretching her swimming muscles, she maneuvered her way through the rifts, gliding through the water. Upon doing an underwater summersault, she noticed that otter males were following in her. Lillian felt brand new. Suddenly, Lillian heard excited shrieks. More boys were on their way. Lillian's heart jumped as she saw all of the females turn their attention in that direction. While under the water, Lillian looked, too. The men made their way closer to the girls.

Lillian had thought she would be given more time to gain more courage or perhaps someone would snatch her up before 'he' even had the chance to claim her but, dead front and center was Yugo. Once at a reasonable distance, the guys scattered, heading towards the female that they were most interested in. The girls flipped and swayed under water as the guys hashed it out amongst one another. Yugo wasted no time, though. Once close enough, his eyes landed directly upon Lillian. The guys that were on Lillian's tail before had disappeared.

Lillian watched as Viv did her finest flips and twists but Yugo passed her, uninterested. "She may be mean at times but she deserves better." Lillian thought.

Yugo stopped right in front of Lillian. He gestured for her to follow. His eyes, which were filled with distain for her a few hours ago, were full of dominant lust now. He had planned to take her as soon as they got out of the water she was sure. Lillian locked her gaze on him and shook her head 'no'. Confused, he gestured again. Perhaps she didn't see or understand him the first time. Lillian shook her head even harder. This had caught a few others' eyes. Someone was saying no to Yugo? Even Yugo didn't miss it the second time around. His eyes turned angry and he grabbed her arm. Lillian wasn't expecting him to get physical. He let out a commanding squeak. 'You are coming with me' was his command. Lillian started to panic and began scratching at his paw. But he was clearly stronger than her. She tried to remember those earlier words:

I AM going to be happy.

With all of the courage she could muster, she let out the most menacing squeak that she could that could be heard throughout the huddle of young otters and bit into Yugo's paw as hard she could. Viv was shocked. Maggie dumbstruck. Yugo's paw snatched away from hers and she took this opportunity to make a run for it. She swam faster and harder, through the other otters. She smiled to herself at her victory as they starred. Today was a new day for her. Things were going to be different. She passed Rowan and slowed. She smiled, letting him know she no longer was mad and that everything was going to be fine. She was waiting for a confirmation smile in return but all she got was a look of immense worry. Suddenly he squeaked_. 'Run!'_ he said. Lillian gave him a confused look. He squeaked again, longer and louder. 'Run Lillian! He's going to kill you!'

Lillian looked back to see an angry otter barreling towards her. Lillian swam. She swam hard and fast, scared for her life.

'This wasn't supposed to happen,' she thought.

She was just able to keep out of his reach but could feel him closing in. Anger and fury was fueling this beast while panic and fear was fueling her. She couldn't concentrate on her swimming. She wasn't going to make it in the water. She had to take the chance. Instead of turning like Yugo was expecting her to, she continued straight, right onto the shore. She ran on the land. Otters are not known to be very fast on land. The bigger and longer you are, the slower you are. Lillian was smaller and held an advantage. Supposedly. Yugo was giving her a run for her money. She managed to gain of a few body lengths of distance between herself and Yugo but he hadn't given up. Branches and leaves hit them as they ran through bushes and trees. Lillian climbed, twisted, and sprinted her heart out, barely keeping out of reach of the mad otter. But, just like in the water, her fear was causing her to break form and she was steadily slowing down. The chase took them way beyond the shore and pretty soon even the sound of rushing water had disappeared. Lillian had no idea where she was, as if that mattered. She was wearing out and losing this race.

"Please! Please stop!" Lillian panted out, hoping it would disarm him a bit and force him to consider his actions. "Yugo!"

"Come HERE you little runt! I'll break your neck!" Yugo snapped at her foot and Lillian yelped. He snapped again. He didn't actually get her but the act managed to trip her up. Yugo had found his opening and he pounced on her back. Wrapping his jaws around her neck, he held on tightly. Lillian scratched around frantically but she knew she wasn't going anywhere. She was going to die.

"Please! I'm sorry!" Said Lillian. True fear had not known Lillian until this very moment. "I'm sorry! Mamaaa! Please!" All of her confidence was gone. Lillian began crying uncontrollably. She couldn't speak even if she wanted to. All she could do was squeak and squeal. Sob after sob had her nearly choking. Yugo pressed Lillian's face in the dirt as she squirmed. The more she squirmed, the more he pressed. Finally she began to sit still, scratching less and less. The less she moved, the less he hurt her. Not releasing his grip, he spread her legs open with his own.

'Oh no,' Lillian thought as she squirmed a bit. But a quick clenching of his jaw made her still again.

"Please, no..." she whimpered. She could feel his member probing for her opening. She shook violently, fearing what was to come next. And it did come. Once he found what he was looking for he thrust hard. She let out a pleading squeak. He let go of her neck and began to ravage her. She could feel the heat of his breath on her neck as he violently penetrated her.

Lillian squeaked in terror.

Yugo squeaked simultaneously in the same pitch as her as if to mock her. "Where's your nerve now?" He whispered in her ear as he thrust even deeper and faster. Lillian wanted to throw up. She could no longer see. Her tears burned her vision. The world began to spin.

'Why did I do this?' she asked herself in her mind over her screams. 'Why didn't I just go home?' She could hear him slapping against her. 'Why?' A scream rang through the air as she clinched her eyes shut. But it wasn't hers. It was his. Then a heavy weight fell on her back, nearly crushing her and knocking the wind out of her. She was glad that the nightmare was finally over. She felt herself being lifted off the ground. Higher. And then even higher. He had not finished. He was crying out in pain. Great talons were wrapped along his midsection and neck. He was in no position to hold onto her, as his upper body was being forced back. The hawk was snapping his neck. She slipped from him from the only part they were connected and fell to the forest floor. She was free and wasted no time. She scurried to a bush and buried herself within it. Lillian's arms wrapped themselves around her stomach. She looked up to see the hawk disappear into the sky with its dinner. Her body hurt. She threw up and then fainted.

***

The sun seeped through the bush's leaves, beaming into Lillian's face. The rays stirred her out of her dreamless sleep. It didn't take long for the memories of the day's terrible events to flood her. She snapped up and immediately panicked, wondering where she was and if she was really still alive. Feeling herself, she came to the conclusion that she was indeed alive. And filthy. There was blood and sick on her fur. The blood was Yugo's. She began to lick herself clean of the blood and sweat and other mess stuck to her. Then she came to blood that wasn't Yugo's on her thighs...he sighed and looked up at the sky. It wasn't morning like she had assumed, but late evening. She just couldn't tell if it was within the same day or not. She felt like she had been asleep forever.

'What do I do now?' Lillian asked herself.

She needed to get back to the river where she could properly collect herself. She needed to figure out what to tell the others. What to tell Yugo's family. Whether or not to tell them...anything else. As she began to run, her soreness had truly revealed itself. She ached all over.

'(Sigh) I guess I'm walking.'

Lillian wasted very little time getting started. Knowing that the walk would take her much longer than the run had. As she walked, she'd occasionally rub up against a tree to remove some grime off of her. It was really quite uncomfortable.

She was close. She could hear the rushing waters of the river ahead. Despite her state, she began to gallop towards it, relieved to be home. Pretty soon she could smell the river air. It smelled different. She felt like she had been gone so long that she forgot the smell of her own river. She squeaked repeatedly, letting everyone within earshot know she was okay. Suddenly she stopped. She lifted her head up and listened for a response. Nothing. She heard the river, but nothing else. Not a frog. Not a fish. Not an otter. Guarding herself, she slowly made her way to the shore. There was no one there. Not a soul. She stepped into the river.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." A voice said from above. It had a strange dialect she had never heard before. In the branches sat a hawk. It was the same hawk from before. Lillian stepped backwards, deeper into the river. She figured she could make her escape if she swam quickly. It didn't look like it was about to strike though. The bird simply tilted its head as its eyes ran along the shore. Lillian decided to take a chance and looked, too. There were dead fish lining the shore...and dead bodies. She froze. She felt something bump into her leg. It was a fish, eyes grayed over by the grip of death. She bent over and smelt it and then jerked her head back. The body wasn't that old (about a day) but it had a smell. It smelled like the river. But the river itself smelled unfamiliar. Lillian thought she had been gone for too long but it wasn't her that had changed. It was the river. Realizing this. She stepped out of the water, shaking herself dry. The smell that was so faint beforehand now stood out like a sore paw. She began to lick.

"I wouldn't do that either." The bird squawked. Lillian stopped, feeling very stupid for a moment. Then she coughed. She hacked and tossed. What had she licked? Her tongue burned her and her throat constricted a bit. She ran into the forest and licked the dirt on the ground. Slowly but surely, the pain in her mouth subsided, though her eyes watered from the ordeal. She looked up to still see the hawk sitting on the same branch.

"Have you come to eat me?"

"If I had, you'd already be mine." The bird said back. It was very hard to understand it but Lillian guessed it was a girl by its voice. "I will say this. Your friend was very delicious. My family was very happy."

"That was not my friend." Lillian snapped back.

"No? Well if he was not your friend, he was your enemy. I kill him for you. You should be happy."

"What happened here?" Lillian interrupted.

"Death."

"What brought this death?"

"I do not know." The bird began to clean its feathers. "But the water brought it. I fly down the river and all I see is death. But the forest is still alive. So it must be river then."

Lillian's eyes widened. "Papa. Mama!" Lillian started running up the shoreline.

"You are a stupid female."

"Leave me alone! I've got to find my family!" She could hear wings flapping behind her. The hawk landed in front of Lillian.

"River bring death. Your family gone."

"Out of my way!" Lillian ran hard and fast. As she ran, both the water and the shore were littered with the bodies of her comrades. She came upon her familiar Den. Lillian squeaked hopefully. She couldn't wait for a response. The bird perched on a branch above as it saw Lillian run into a den. Within a few seconds, Lillian ran back out, gasping. All of the pups...and her mother and father, too...She began rolling around on the ground, attempting to get the smell of death off of her.

"I tell you..." The bird squawked. Lillian lay on the ground cried as hard as she could. She was the last one left. The very last. The bird watched her patiently. After a while, Lillian had no more tears to cry and moaned softly as she lay motionless. As sunset approached, the bird hopped down to Lillian.

"What wrong?"

"Everyone is gone."

"Yes, yes. I know that already. You know that already. What still wrong?" Lillian couldn't believe the coldness of the bird. Pure land animals could only find reason within birds. Sea creatures could not understand any of their nonsensical utterances. Being part of each, Lillian could barely understand its rationale or its intentions.

"I'm going to die, too."

"Do you want to die?" Lillian couldn't quite answer this question because she honestly didn't know what to live for anymore. Lillian looked away. The bird quickly pinned Lillian down and wrapped her talons around her neck. "If you want to die, I will kill you. I help you twice." Lillian remembered how the hawk did indeed save her, whether it knew it or not. As time passed, the hawk began to choke her more and more. Lillian gasped in air and finally shook her heady violently from side to side. The hawk lifted herself off of Lillian and began to clean her feathers again.

Choking a bit, Lillian was able to bark out, "I don't want to die. But I do not know what to do."

The bird spoke nonchalantly. "I do not know your family. But I never say they all die. I say they gone."

Lillian was at full attention. "You mean my sister could be alive? Where did everyone go? Where are they now?!"

"They left the river. There were very few left. Some went south. Others away to find a new river. None went north. They went to get away from the bad thing that did this."

"Where do I go?"

"Pick a direction."

Lillian looked around. In the panic, they probably scattered. Lillian had no way of knowing which way to go to find anyone, least of all her sister, and the bird wasn't saying much.

"What do I do?" Lillian asked in earnest. The bird simply shrugged without even looking at her. Lillian thought a moment. Maybe she wasn't asking the right question. "What would you do?" Lillian asked. The bird stopped preening and looked at Lillian. "I'd find what murder my family and then kill it."

"You'd go searching for what did this? Why? You're family would already be dead. What would be the point?" Now it was Lillian's turn to be cold. Her spirit impressed the hawk, even though it was a little misguided. But the hawk didn't show it. It hopped closer to Lillian.

"...I would not do it for them. I would do it for good...murder is bad." Lillian took in this information. Without warning, the hawk spread her wings and took off.

"Wait!" It flew higher and higher. Lillian didn't have much time so she blurted out what came to her. "What is your name?" The bird let out a mighty cry that echoed in the sky.

"Caw..." Lillian decided. "I hear you Caw. I hear you."

Find the source and stop it. That meant traveling a great distance north up river on foot. The one direction she knew she would probably not find her sister if she still was alive. And without drinking any water. She'd have to find some in the deeper parts of the forest along the way, if that wasn't tainted, too. Perhaps rainwater that had collected somewhere...if it actually rained during her travel. And it was going to be dark soon. She very well may die. She took a step. "Then I will die for good."

End of Chapter 1