Tiny Toons: The Seductive School Skunk, Chapter 1
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There were many days at Acme Looniversity that the 'toon students feared. Report card day, the first day back from summer, or even surprise test day.
But none were worse than exam day.
For the students who read up on the art of anvil dropping, or the skill it took to pull off any kind of gag, the tests weren't much of a problem. Sure, Daffy might have been a jerk to his class and put in a surprise question or two, but that was never the case for Bugs Bunny's students.
"Okay kids, the exam's over in five minutes. Make sure your papers are ready to be passed forward." Bugs stood next to his desk, watching his students either hastily scribble down answers, or happily turn their papers over, satisfied with themselves. The rabbit had no reason to call the students "kids"-it was senior year, after all. The majority of the 'toons were 18, if not older. Bugs held an egg timer in his right hand, watching it slowly move around to zero.
"Hey, Babsy, what'd you get for number twenty?" Buster leaned over to his pink girlfriend's desk, trying his best to see her answers. Babs yanked her paper out of his view, covering it with her arm.
"Get your own answers, blue boy!" Babs whispered, shaking her head. "Be quiet or Professor Bugs will hear you!"
"Indeed, I will."
Both bunnies gulped in fear, looking up to see Bugs with his arms crossed. The tall, gray rabbit tapped his foot, shaking his head.
"Buster Bunny, of all the kids to try and cheat ... Well, yeah, you'd be one of 'em." Bugs said, putting a finger to his chin in thought. "Just don't make a habit of it, wouldja? And Babs, control your boyfriend."
"Yes, Professor Bugs ..." Both bunnies said in unison, hanging their heads. Bugs smiled at the two, walking away.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the classroom, another student was having even more trouble. Fifi, unlike Babs, had ignored studying entirely in favor of giving the entire football team blowjobs after practice. Why did she do it? Well, besides the fact that the purple skunk had the sex drive of a drunken teenager, she did whatever possible to make sure she didn't lose her spot on the cheerleading squad. The taste of cum still lingered on her tongue, and it, among other things, was very distracting. Unfortunately, that distraction turned to stress, and stress turned to one particular con of being a skunk.
"Dear lord, who let one?"
Montana Max interrupted the room's silence, looking around.
"Was it you, duck?" He asked, pointing at Plucky. The green duck shook his head, sticking his tongue out.
"Go back to counting your change, Montana." Plucky said. "Besides Maxy, haven't you ever heard 'he who smelt it, dealt it?" The entire class started to laugh, only to be silenced by the sound of Bugs's egg timer echoing through the room.
"For a buncha seniors, you kids act like a buncha maroons." Bugs said as he walked through the rows of desks, snatching papers from each student's hands. "Anyway, I'm sure you all did your best, so you're free to take the day off. See ya tomorrow for your grades." When he reached the last row, he paused at the sight of Fifi still scribbling in blank dots.
"I, um ... how you say ... will 'ace' it, no?" Fifi smiled nervously, handing the paper over. Bugs gave her a warm smile, nodding and ruffling her hair.
"I'm sure you'll do fine, Fifi." He said. "Now go on, Babs and Shirley are waitin' for ya." Fifi nodded happily, running out of the room. Within moments, she, Babs, and Shirley were walking through the school's exit doors, lost in conversation.
"Yeah, the whole section on avoiding hunters was pretty hard, but I--" Babs's words were cut off by Shirley, who pressed a hand to her mouth.
"You just got that part because you're a rabbit, Babs," Shirley said. "Ducks had to get 'How to be a rabbit's sidekick,' and write detailed essays on why all ducks are, like, perfect for that or some junk. I always thought Professor Daffy was, like, stupid and all, but now I totally see why Plucky idolizes him so much."
"You two are so lucky," Fifi said as they walked. "At least you two have special parts of the exam that you're good at. I just got the same hard stuff as everyone else. Professor Pepe never prepared me for, how you say, the tough stuff." Babs patted the purple skunk's back, smiling at her.
"I'm sure you'll do fine. Don't you always find a way out of trouble?" Babs said. Fifi nodded, blushing. "So don't worry about it! Anyway, you have to hear how stupid Buster was last night!"
"Oh, did he try to make a move again?" Shirley laughed. "Did he want to ..." Shirley paused and looked at Fifi, the two girls smirking.
"Go at it like rabbits?!" The duck and skunk said together before falling to the ground laughing. Babs placed a hand on her hips, shaking her head.
"You two are total jerks, you know that?" She said as her friends stood up. "Anyway, let's head to my burrow. I think a 'bad movie night' is in order."
Later that night, Fifi and Shirley climbed out of Babs's burrow, waving to the pink bunny inside. Fifi stretched out her arms and tail, letting out a loud yawn.
"That was fun ..." Fifi said as the two started walking. "We should do that more often."
"Totally ..." Shirley said, nodding. After a few minutes, the girls started to part ways, with Shirley heading into town, and Fifi towards the city dump. "See ya tomorrow, Fifi." Shirley said, waving. Fifi smiled, nodding as she headed away.
After making sure Shirley was out of sight, Fifi's smile turned into a look of exhaustion, accompanied by a frown on her lips. The skunk sighed, opening the pink door of her car 'home.'
"I just know that I failed that exam today ..." Fifi said, curling her tail around her body and resting her head on a pillow. "I'll never get into a good college, and have to spend the rest of my life putting out for the rats at Perfecto Prep ... Just like last summer ..." Normally, a girl would be upset at the thought of whoring herself out to a group of jocks, but after saying that and letting the thought pop into her mind, Fifi had a smirk on her face.
"Well, if all else fails, I could always work the back alleys." Fifi chuckled, soon falling asleep.
The next day, Fifi stumbled into the classroom, still groggy. The thought of failing woke her up in the middle of the night, and kept her worried until the early hours of the morning. The only reason the students even had school today was to receive their exam results and then were able to leave, so at least she could go home and catch up on sleep.
"Buster ... Good work, kid ... Plucky ... For a duck, not half bad ..." Bugs was calling the students up one by one, giving them their paper back with a bit of commentary in his usual fashion. The names weren't in any particular order, meaning that Fifi could be called at any time. She prayed that her name would be last, hoping that by then, Bugs would just want to go home as well and not bother focusing on her.
"Fifi, it's your turn."
Damn.
"Fifi, Fifi, Fifi ... I hate to say it, kid, but ... You really need to brush up on your mallets and anvils." Bugs shook his head, handing her a paper with a large, red 'F' at the top. "I know things are tough, this bein' your last year and all, but you really need to get things in shape. I want you to get out of here like everyone else."
"Oui, I understand ..." Fifi said, sighing. "I will try to ... how you say ... hit the books?"
"There's a make-up exam in a week, Fifi. Study up." Bugs said, munching on a carrot he pulled out of a desk drawer. "I'll see you on Thursday."
"Oui ..." Fifi nodded. She turned, seeing Babs waiting for her in the doorway.
"What's the problem?" Babs asked as the girls left the school. "Professor Bugs is gonna let you retake it, so I don't understand why you're so upset."
"I'll fail the retake too...studying isn't my, how you say, strong point." Fifi replied. "I have to think of another way I can pass..."
Babs paused, seeing Fifi's eyes light up.
"No. Don't even think about it." Babs said. "I've put up with a lot, Fifi. I hid the football team sex from Hamton, and even the time you decided to go with the dump's stray cats just to get a few bucks for lunch. I'm not covering for you anymore. You're dating the pig, remember?"
"Oui, I know." Fifi said. "Hamton's a perfect boyfriend, but he ...well, he lacks that certain...Je ne sais quoi." Babs sighed, shaking her head.
"You could always, you know, get a summer job instead of bending over for any guy with a functioning groin." Babs said. "I love ya, Fifi, but you really need a life reboot."
"No, no, Babs ... I just think you need to see another side of life." Fifi replied, nuzzling her rabbit friend's cheek. Babs looked a bit disturbed, glancing at the skunk. "I promise it will be amazing." Fifi said, winking at the pink bunny. Babs gulped, shaking her head.
"I think I'll pass, but you have fun with that." Babs replied. "Just remember that Bugs does have a girlfriend, you know. Lola didn't get the school secretary job because of her smarts, that's for sure." Fifi giggled at her friend's comment.
"Oui, but I think I could handle that, when it comes up--" Fifi paused, seeing fire in Babs' eyes. "I mean, I will not do anything, I swear it!"
"Whatever, Fifi, just don't get arrested." Babs replied. "I'm going to Buster's, so I'll see you later."
"Okay, I will see you then!" Fifi waved as Babs walked off. "Do not worry, I would never dream of such a thing!" Babs waved back at her, soon disappearing from view. Fifi grinned, nodding her head.
"I would never ... At least, not with you around."