To Fight for You
"To Fight For You"
By TJ Folf / Aenzi
NOTE: This story is a chapter in a ongoing series, Crimson Visage. Make sure you have first read "Of Hardrives and Foxdrives" and "Just One More Night" before you read this story.
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/tjfolf
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Snow lashed up from truck tires plowing the pavement to rain down upon the sidewalk.
Clay and his truck moved along. Probably a little more quickly than was prudent in snowy weather, but wasn't it all worth it? He was so looking forward to seeing his little foxy. He'd seen him the night before, but that seemed so long ago now. He had a strange hunger to be with the fox once again.
Clay chuckled to himself. Last night! They were supposed to be watching a movie, but Clay didn't even remember turning it on. They'd just ended up lying in each other's arms and talking to each other. For the entire evening. Nothing inappropriate had happened, or at least nothing inappropriate by Clay's standards. He didn't need any of that. It had been fun to just talk, not about anything in particular, just rambling from subject to subject amiably like the old friends they were.
Clay has learned so much that night. About Cody. About the way Cody felt about him. About the way he felt about Cody. It had been good for both of them. Clay hoped they could do it again sometime. Because Clay wanted to know everything there was to know about the little foxy. Everything. And he did so enjoy telling everything he knew of himself.
Clay gave a little shiver. Man! That little fox could get under his skin! Clay could never remember feeling this way. Just to look at Cody was something wonderful. Clay had been with people he'd thought he was in love with, and he very well may have been. But the gray fox realized now that he'd never before had a crush on someone. These feelings he had for Cody were far more intense than anything he'd known. No one he'd ever been with before had been able to inspire these feelings in him! That little Cody had something magic. Clay looked forward to looking under those clothes to find out what it was...
But Clay could wait. He wasn't so new at this part of the game. And he knew how very new Cody was. It wasn't all about sex after all. There was far more to love than its physical side, Clay knew. But the physical side was always something special. And Clay allowed himself to look forward in anticipation of it.
He would give Cody a ride to work. The snow on the ground was more slush by now due to the temperature. This was no weather to be walking in anyway.
It took only minutes for Clay to reach Cody's house. It wasn't far out of his way. The gray fox pulled into the driveway, and was on the verge of turning off the truck, when he noticed a set of small pawprints going through the snow. He put the truck in reverse, a small smile playing on his muzzle. Cody had already left for work, but Clay could tell by the prints he left that he couldn't have been gone long. Clay would see if he could find him along the way.
Clay has not been driving half a minute before he spotted Cody ahead of him. The little fox was dashing as fast as he paws could carry him. Clay grinned to himself he must have wanted to get to work early for his review. Clay knew he had a skill review today, and Clay knew how nervous he was about. And certainly, he was on track to get to work on time, but certainly not early. Perhaps clay's truck could help him with that!
But before Clay could catch up with the little fox, Cody had ducked into an alley and he disappeared. Clay frowned. Was Cody going through the woods? Clay has told Cody a thousand times how dangerous those woods were!
Clay sighed. He couldn't follow his little foxy through the woods in this truck. He'd have to meet up with him later in the day. Clay heaved a sigh. He was so looking forward to seeing Cody before work. Oh well, there was always tonight, wasn't there?
But then, Clay saw him. He saw a wolf moving along the edge of the wood. The wolf creeping, sneaking...hunting!
Clay hit the brakes. The truck sledded to a halt on the icy road. Clay's heart froze to an agonized halt. There was only one type of creature that hunted in this area. That was no conventional wolf. That was a Lupirin!
That was a monster.
Clay's life froze before him. It had finally happened. His nightmare had come true.
Clay fumbled in the glove box for what he kept there. The one thing he kept in his domineering fear that this would happen. That he should be attacked. Or worse, someone he loved. The .357 magnum fell out into his hands, and Clay quickly spun the cylinder to ensure it was still loaded. He pulled back the hammer, kicked his truck door open, and sped through the woods after Cody. After his lover.
Clay's memory blurred; he couldn't. He didn't remember. He didn't want to be able to remember. What happened. Fear. Breathing. Running. Cody. Trees blurred by. Frigid air clawed his face, slicing through his fur as though he had none.
Clay remembered...stopping in a clearing. He'd lost Cody's trail. He looked all around him, seeing nothing. He couldn't smell anything. He paws were slippery on frozen metal of his revolver. He spun in circles, praying to see anything. Hear anything. Please...
"Goddammit Cody!" he cried. "Where are you?!?"
Nothing...
Nothing...
Then...
A scream. An incredible, soul-freezing scream. The sound of life being wrenched from a creature.
Cody...!
Clay ran. Faster than any creature can run, Clay ran. Cutting and slipping by trees with innate vulpine fluidity. If one had erected a wall of steel before Clay, he would have burst through it. A creature crazed. A creature that stood to lose everything.
Clay leapt clear over a low branch and nearly fell over at what he saw. The wolf had Cody locked his arms, feeding off him. Eating his beloved Cody. Sucking the life from him. Clay hesitated for a second. A whole, precious second.
And that second was all the wolf would have.
The silence shattered like broken glass!
Gun shots ruptured the tranquility of the forest as bullets tore through wolf flesh. The Lupirin screamed, dropping Cody and turning to flee. The tiny fox crumpled to the ground like so much wasted paper.
Clay whipped a stopper with six bullets attached from his pocket. The cylinder of the revolver came open and the empty casings sang to the ground. Clay slammed the fresh ammo into the gun and raised his weapon once more.
...at empty air. The creature had disappeared into the forest.
Then he saw Cody, laying in his own blood, drenched in crimson. His face though, was calm, like he were sleeping. Almost as if he were--
NO!!!
* * *
Clay awoke with a painful jolt. He looked around. He had to do something. But what could he do? Cody! Cody was--
Then he recognized his surroundings. He lay outside the room where Cody was sleeping, still unconscious from his ordeal. Or, so Clay hoped.
Clay covered his eyes with both paws. He was sandy-eyed, disoriented. He couldn't tell which was the ceiling and which was the floor. And he felt sick. He couldn't even think clearly enough to try to blame himself for what happened to Cody.
Seerey. He needed to find Seerey.
Clay somehow managed to find his footpaws and put them beneath himself. He stumbled to the kitchen, frequently having to use the walls to steady himself. He hadn't really slept. He'd drifted in and out of a nightmare-haunted stupor for eight hours. He came to a door at the end of the hall, and opening it took a great deal of effort.
As he expected, Seerey was inside. Seerey always sat at the kitchen table in the morning, drinking her coffee, and reading the newspaper. Though, it looked as if the paper delivery hadn't made it through the snow. Seerey looked up from a chipped mug with inquisitive eyes.
Seerey was a vixen of advanced age, but exactly how old was difficult to say. Her muzzle was grayed and the markings beside her eyes and nose were darker than in a younger individual.
And she knew Clay very, very well.
Her eyes narrowed. "You look like hell. Did you sleep?"
"Not really." Clay said, sitting down. "Nightmares."
The chipped mug hit the table with a definitive thunk. "You slept in that hallway all night, didn't you?"
Clay merely nodded wearily, in no mood for Seerey's arguments "I just, just," Clay stopped, shaking his head to clear it. "When we he wake up?"
"Why?" Seerey asked, one ear cocked.
"Because! I..." Clay hesitated. "Just when?"
"Not until very late tonight, or if he's lucky early tomorrow morning. The longer he sleeps now, the better off he'll be for the next week. These hours now are critical. He can't be disturbed."
Clay sighed, letting his head fall roughly on the table. "God. I want to talk with him."
"Heh, what do you want him to say?"
"I just want to hear his voice again. To know it's still there."
"Tell me honestly." the vixen said, leaning forward. "Who is this fox?"
Clay looked away with a grimace. "He's...he's just a good friend."
"He's another one of your toys, isn't he?"
Vulpine teeth ground together. "Grandma!"
"You do collect so many of them, don't you?"
"Grandma, I've told you a hundred times!!!"
"Don't get all righteous on me, Clayton Michael Daler. I don't care about the way you are. I've told you that a hundred times." she said curtly. "I'd rather have great-grandchildren, but such is life. Just tell me, is he your lover?"
"Yes, and he's the greatest creature that I've ever been permitted to feel this way about! He's my life! I would--I'd die nine hundred times if I thought it would make him smile just once! I don't give a goddamn if you are my grandmother! If you talk like that around him I'll leave you to die alone for all your damn trouble!!!"
Clay knocked his chair over and slammed his fist to the wall, rattling the dishes in the cabinets. The entire house went silent.
Clay rested his head on the wall to the soft sound of his own tears hitting the floor. Yes Clay, that's it. Chase your grandmother away. Destroy everyone around you, every single creature you know. That'll make it all better. Fuckhead.
Seerey rose, a grin on her weathered face. "Go upstairs and take a shower. I think it'll do you some good. Besides, you're still covered in blood. I don't want you staining my sheets." she said. "Make sure you use the bathroom on the west side of the house though, I don't want you waking him up. You'll find that there're still clothes in your old room, put on some of those. They ought to still fit.
"After that, you make quietly go into his room. You ought to see what he looks like now that I've patched him up. He really is in pretty good shape. There're blankets on those sofas in there. Curl up on one of those. If he wakes up you'll be the first to know."
Clay turned around. "Yes, Grandma." he said, and he left to do as he was bidden. He briefly noticed that Seerey was right; his arms were still stained crimson from carrying Cody. He left by the door on the opposite side of the kitchen, and closed it behind him.
Seerey laughed to herself. He was so serious. But he was a good grandson. She'd never have wanted anyone else.
* * *
"Mmm, you're comfy." Cody said.
Clay laughed. "People have used a lot of words to describe me, but I think 'comfy' is a first." he said, smiling.
Cody leaned his head back onto Clay's chest. "Well, it's true."
"Heh." Clay said. "Thank you."
Cody let his eyes slowly close. It was so nice here. The pair of amorous foxes lay on the sofa in Clay's apartment. The lights were off, but the drapes were open and the moon's light shone in, illuminating the room more than enough to be seen by vulpine eyes. Cody's small form was lying against Clay. Both of them were just staring at the ceiling, at nothing in particular.
Clay never could resist himself long when he was around Cody. He gently nuzzled his nose into the fur beneath Cody's ear, and nipped gently.
Cody squirmed. "Hey! Would you behave yourself?" the little fox said, trying to wave Clay off halfheartedly. It did him little good. Clay persisted as always.
"Mmm, your fur is so soft. I'll never know how you do it..." the gray fox said, still nuzzling.
"You know damn well how I do it." Cody said, smiling. "An hour in the shower every morning. You could too if you wanted to."
"Nah, I'm not that ambitious. Besides, I don't need to primp myself. I'm naturally beautiful." Clay crowed.
Cody managed to briefly shove Clay away, and he flipped himself over, putting himself nose-to-nose with Clay. "It's a good thing I love you, 'cause otherwise I'd be hitting you."
Clay grabbed both of Cody's paws, and planted a slow, sloppy lick across the little fox's muzzle. "I'd let you hit me, if I thought it would make you smile."
Cody managed to wriggle one of his paws out of Clay's grasp. He wiped his muzzle with amusement, finally laughing at Clay's antics. "If you were aiming for being romantic, you need a little work."
"It's one thing to be romantic, darling." Clay said, grinning. "It's a different skill to be able to say what a certain little foxy needs to hear when he needs to hear it."
Cody actually did laugh this time. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Perhaps nothing." Clay said, and he leaned in to kiss his lover. Cody hesitated, then leaned forward as well. But Clay stopped.
"That's what I meant." Clay said, with a small smile.
"I...I mean..." Cody tried to grab at words.
Clay sighed. "Cody, if you're not ready for this. All you have to do say so."
"Clay, don't....
"You're very young, this is all new to you." the gray fox said patiently.
"Clay! No, that's not..."
"I won't be mad..."
Cody very deliberately covered his ears with his paws, and shut his eyes. "God, Clay, please stop! You're scaring me."
Clay looked concernedly at the little fox, sitting both himself and Cody upright. He very gently put his paws over Cody's and moved them aside. Cody very hesitantly opened his eyes. "How am I scaring you?" Clay asked quietly.
"I don't wanna leave you! I don't want you to leave!" Cody said, grabbing at Clay's shoulders, as if he were afraid that the older fox would run away.
"Hush, baby, shhhhh." Clay said, wrapping his arms around the little fox. "I was never planning to. I don't want to leave either. I just want to know what's making my foxy so scared. Even of me."
Cody's grip on Clay's shoulder's fell slack. His gaze fell to the sofa cushions beneath him. "I don't want life to change." he whispered.
Clay leaned closer. "What are you afraid of changing?"
"I don't want the world to hate me...just because I love you. People make laws against you and me. People hate us. And other people listen." he said, his voice trembling. "People like you and me get hurt. Everyday. Just because I love you?" he asked no one in particular. "Will all that happen to me just because I love you? Can't people understand how I feel?"
Clay looked at his little fox with surprise. And understanding. "I know exactly how you feel, Cody. I had the same thoughts when I first found I could only loved other males. And it scared me." he said. He took Cody by the shoulders and turned him toward him. "But we can't let it stop us from living."
Cody buried his face in Clay's chest, trying not to cry. "It's not our choice to make. It's theirs. And they already know. They think they know."
"But it is our choice, Cody. It's our choice to let them win." Clay said, hugging the smaller fox to himself. "There will always be people that hate us, that's true and there's no denying it. But there's a hundred times more people out there, Cody, that are on our side. And I think we have more spirit in us than those other sad people.
"There are people out there that love you, Cody. That will fight for you. " Clay said, hugging his lover more tightly. "I'm one of them. I want to. To fight for you."
For a moment, there was silence. Then, Cody gave a large sniff, and sat up, a small smile adorning his muzzle. "Don' ever say you're gonna leave me again..." Cody said, wiping his eyes vigorously.
Clay grinned outright. "Oh, Cody. A few weeks ago, I thought I knew how I felt about you. I thought we were great friends. But I was lying to myself the whole time. I've never been so in love with someone as I am with you, baby." Clay said, leaning into the little fox. "I must have loved you all along. I just never could see it. Maybe I couldn't see it because I loved you.
"I'll never say I'm going to leave you again, Cody, but in return, I want you to do something for me." Clay said.
The little fox looked up at him.
I want you to remember," Clay leaned closer. "Others might try to hurt you, but my lips never will..."
* * *
...Clay, I'll fight for you, too.
Had he said that? He'd meant to say it, just as much as he really meant it. But the rest of his memory was drowned in kisses and gentle caresses. He couldn't remember actually saying it. Clay knew, Cody was sure. But it seemed terribly important now that he actually say it.
Cody slowly blinked open his eyes. He was in a large bedroom. It wasn't his own, and it wasn't Clay's. This room wasn't anyplace he knew or recognized. It smelled nice, though, fresh and clean. He felt awkward here. Cody didn't know what he was wearing, but it wasn't his own clothes. In fact, he wasn't sure he was wearing anything at all.
Cody breathed deeply of the room once again. It was a very pleasant smell, he decided. He liked it here. But wait.
There was something else here. Something he knew! Something familiar...
...Clay?
Cody sat up slowly. "Clay? Is that..."
Daggers. A thousand invisible daggers stabbed at Cody from every direction. A torrent of unimaginable pain crushed him from the inside out, tearing him in half!
Cody collapsed back to the bed, his breath ripped from him. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry out so the whole world could hear him. But he could barely make any sound at all. He tried to talk, to whisper for help. But all he could make were agonized gasps and whimpers.
"Clay..." he managed to say faintly. "Clay--help...me..."
Clay sat bolt upright on a sofa across the room. "Cody?"
Cody tried to answer, but nothing came out. He couldn't make his muzzle work. He could do no more than choke.
Clay tossed off the blanket that he's wrapped himself up in and he dashed to Cody's side. "Cody? Cody!" clay said, wanting to hold his little foxy, but afraid to. "Cody, say something!"
Cody grabbed at the sheets covering him, gasping, retching. "C-Can't..." he murmured almost inaudibly.
Clay hesitated, torn at what to do. "Stay here! I have someone who can help!" The gray fox said.
As he turned out of sight, Cody noticed he was wearing a blue t-shirt and a pair of worn jean-shorts. Even in his state, Cody noticed. It didn't seem right. That wasn't what Clay normally wore.
Suddenly, Cody wanted to follow him. He didn't want to stay here. He didn't want to feel this way alone. He started to rise to follow Clay. The daggers stabbed at him once again. Cody collapsed once again, not daring to move. He would have vomited from the pain, but there was no food or even water in his stomach to throw up. For any tiny motion he made he was punished with tearing pain all over his body, but it hurt so bad he couldn't stop himself from shaking and squirming, and it hurt so much more. Why? What was making him feel this?
It was his shoulder, he realized. The pain radiated from his shoulder to the farthest reaches of his body, from his dried black nose to the white tip of his tail. A brief flash of memory struck him. Running through the woods, late for work! What's that?!? Run! Get away!
What had happened to him?
Daggers! Stabbing!
Clay...he cried silently to no one. Clay. Please come back!!!
It was almost as if he'd heard him. Clay turned the corner into the room, and he wasn't alone. Behind him was another fox. A female fox. A vixen, Cody thought. She had a gray muzzle and bright eyes. Such eyes.
"Hold him down." a commanding voice issued from the vixen. "And watch his arms. He's probably going to spasm."
Clay hesitated, then quickly moved to the opposite side of the bed and pushed down on both of Cody's arms with an iron grip. Cody never realized just how strong Clay really was.
The vixen moved. Cody's vision blurred. He couldn't see what she was doing.
A needle! She had a needle! Cody couldn't see what it was attached to. The room was fading in and out of focus. But it was a needle. And Cody didn't care what kind it was, he didn't want it anywhere near him. No more pain, please! But the vixen advanced.
"No..." he whispered. No, God please!
The vixen pushed on Cody's shoulder, and pulled the cover off the needle with her teeth.
No!
No, no! No wait!
The needle plunged into his shoulder. Cody's muzzle was ripped open in a soundless, lifewrenching cry of immeasurable agony. It lasted for maybe a second, maybe a century. An infinity of pain, scarring the fox forever. There were no words to describe...No words. No life. No breath. No light.
In the deafening silent scream, there was only one thing Cody could think.
_Please, I want to die.
Just let...me die!!!_
* * *
Gentle paws were holding his face, stroking his fur, washing him with tears. "Cody! Cody!!! Please! Don't leave me!" Clay cried. "Please, don't die!"
"Cut that out this instant, Clayton! If he's unconscious, it's best to let him sleep it off. Don't try to wake him!"
"...shorts."
Clay leaned forward. "What?"
Cody opened his eyes, blinking water away to see Clay bending over him, his fur soaked from tears. Cody smiled into that face as best he could. "You've never worn shorts. You look good."
Clay laughed. Clay sobbed. It was hilarious! It was a miracle. He and Cody got to talk together one more time.
Tears fell endlessly from Clay's eyes as he nuzzled desperately at Cody's neck and muzzle. "I'll wear them everyday for the rest of my life! Please please, just don't stop smiling! Don't stop...Cody." he cried quietly. "Cody, Cody, Cody..." He endlessly repeated the name over and over just under his breath.
Even as Clay spoke, numbness covered Cody. Numbness, the blessed feeling of nothing, poured into Cody from that same shoulder. It was a medicine. That was what was in that needle. Cody hadn't even realized that he'd been crying tears of relief the entire time. That experience was something he'd never be able to forget.
But it was over.
The little fox felt strange. The entire world was fuzzy, and nothing sounded right. He felt subdued, sleepy. And for all the world he couldn't figure out what was happening to him.
"Cody, Cody, Cody..." Clay continued to nuzzle, to kiss, the tears never ceasing. Finally Cody reached up with a paw to stop him.
"Clay, why are you crying? What--" Cody paused to shake his head, trying to clear the fog. "Did something happen to me? Am I hurt?"
Clay took a deep shuddering breath and wiped his eyes. He paused a moment before answering Cody. "Something did happen. Can you remember anything?"
"I...no, I can't remember very much." Cody said, trying to search through the haze in his mind. "I remember being late for work, and I remember running. But I don't remember anything else."
Clay gently held Cody's paw, as if he were made of glass. "Yeah, something happened, and you got hurt. But I brought you here, and you're alright now."
Cody blinked and looked around, seeing the room properly for the first time. The room was painted a calm cream color, and there were sofas lining every wall, only leaving a space for the door. "Where am I?" he asked, his voice still faint.
Clay stroked his paw carefully. "This is my grandmother's home."
"And I'm Clayton's grandmother." the old vixen said stepping forward. "But you may call me Seerey. You've had a bad time of it, but you're safe now. I'll be taking care of you for the next week or you or so until you can put your paws beneath you."
"Oh...thank you." the little fox said. "My name's Cody."
Seerey smiled widely. "I've been healing poor creatures just like you for more than half a century, and you're the first one that's had wits enough when he awoke to thank me. You're a rare one, Cody." Seerey said amiably. "Do you feel tired, Cody?"
"Yeah, and...I feel strange. I feel all fuzzy." Cody said, unable to find proper words in his current state.
"That's normal, you'll be just fine." Seerey said. "But now you ought to sleep if you can. I'll leave you two be. Please try to rest."
Seerey quietly left the room. Clay waited until she had left, then gave a low whistle.
"I've never seen her act so nice to someone. You must be something else, Cody."
"Clay, what happened to me? Why am I here? Why--" Cody almost choked on the words. "Why did I hurt so bad?"
The gray fox looked down at the small creature beside him, and his eyes instantly slid to the bandages around his shoulder and his chest. "I'm not completely sure what happened myself." he lied. "But it doesn't matter now. You're safe, and that's what I'm worried about."
He gave Cody a very soft kiss on his head. "Now you need to sleep." he said, getting up to leave.
Cody grabbed him, terrified. "Don't leave." he said, his airy voice cracking.
Clay gently tried to push Cody back down to the bed. "I'll be right over on one of the couches, don't worry."
"No!" Cody cried, his eyes wide. "Stay next to me! I..."
Clay could see. Cody's eyes were wide with fear. His eyes. Weren't green. They weren't the green they were supposed to be. They were red. Red! Clay forced himself not to look away. He knew that he loved those eyes just as much as before.
"I..." Cody paused and took a deep breath, and whispered. "I have to know you're with me."
Clay himself looked afraid. "But I can't wake you up! You might...get sick." he said.
"You won't wake me up." Cody said. "Please."
Clay hesitated, then stood up. Cody looked heart broken. Clay took off his shorts, and tossed them on the ground. He lay back down next to Cody, slipping beneath the sheets. He pulled the heavy blanket on the bed over the both of them, to ward off the cold of the snow outside.
Clay sighed quietly. Cody wasn't wearing anything beneath those sheets. Clay had dreamed in his heart that the first time they lay like this would have been different. He wanted so much to wrap both arms and legs around Cody, to hold him as tightly as one could. But he couldn't hurt his little foxy. He rested one paw gently on Cody's side.
Cody grabbed Clay's paw with his own and wrapped the gray fox's entire arm around his smaller body. Clay didn't resist. He felt his paw slide softly over the little fox's muscled torso. He was a runner, after all. The gray fox gave a gentle murr of content, closing his eyes. He needed sleep just as much as Cody did. And the home was once again silent.
"You wear boxer-briefs." Cody said smiling with closed eyes.
"So do you." Clay whispered into Cody's ear.
"Wait! How do you--"
"Go to sleep, Cody. You need it." Clay said, still smiling. "I'll try to be here when you wake up. If I'm not, don't worry, I might have to go talk to my grandma, but I'll be back."
Cody suddenly had never found the prospect of sleep so appealing. "You'll still be here? In this house?" he asked, half asleep already. "Promise?"
Clay whispered into Cody's ear once again. "I promise."
It was too late. Cody had already fallen asleep, his paw curled around Clay's. But even in sleep he'd heard the gray fox, and he understood.
The snow fell outside the window, touching the ground with an angel's touch. The world outside remained as silent as the two sleeping foxes.
TO BE CONTINUED