Grandpa's Stories 1
Note: Eh, I know it's been a while since I've posted something NEW. So, I decided to post something a bit more recent. I would like for this to be a story series called "Grandpa's Stories" which is kinda simple, but interesting to say the least. I'd like to hear some feedback first on this before I decided to work on a series. K thx bai. :3
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Grandpa, I have a question.
Hm? Yes, what is, my boy?
Where do babies come from?
Huh? Your mom and dad never told you?
Yeah, they talked about birds and bees, but I don't get it.
That's fine, I'll tell you another of grandpa's stories. Like the time I saved the planet from an ancient evil, he he he.
*rolls eyes* Grandpa...
Alright alright, you want to know where babies come from? Take a seat and listen...
A long long time ago, a young man ventures from his home and embarks on the quest of his life. A large yet lonely path he must travel until-
But grandpa, what does this have to do with where babies come from?
Keep your yap shut, I'm getting to it!
Okay, jeez...
Where was I...oh yes. Until he finds a maiden whose beauty is seen by his eyes. He is then riddled with another quest, but another time...once the two are married, they live life together happily and peacfully as newlyweds. Then, once they decide to have a child, the two join together in bed in a ritual.
What kinda ritual? Does it involve being nakie?
Why, a very special one, my boy, a very special one indeed. For you see, they become 'nakie' because that is the best way they are able to begin the ritual. Once both are on the bed nakie, and they truly want a child hard enough, they take their golden hearts and combine them together.
Ohhh...so that's where 'heart of gold' came from?
That's right, but only if you've been a good person does this happen.
But why are Timmy's mommy and daddy so grumpy if they have heart's of gold too?
It's simple really, once they give up those hearts to make their child, they become heartless. Why else they hate Kingdom Hearts?
Ohhh...
Now, once the two meld their hearts together, the newly formed heart glows brightly and then a metallic body is formed. The 'child' starts off as a little robo and grows into a giant robo.
Huh...?
That's right, you didn't know that did you?
Noooo....
Well where was I...ah yes, once you start life as a robot, you do good deeds for your parents then you will grow into a giant robo and will be your duty to protect the city. Should you successfully do this, not only will your house be saved from being crushed, but you will then be able to enter your own adventures! If your adventures are impressive enough, they will be on the TV.
What about twins?
Twins, triplets, eh...those make those combiners, you'd be surprised how many of them end up staying as those Power Ranger zords...furries. *shakes head*
What's a furry?
Another time. Where was I...ah yes, then once you've made your adventure, you will have one incredible final battle against a dark lord, space demon, or an old ulgy crow-
Like gramma!
*chuckles* Yes, my boy, like gramma. And in this battle, you will end up sacrificing yourself to save the UNIVERSE!
Wooooow...
Yep. Your robot body will be gone forever, yet the heart will bless your parents and reward them by changing into a small baby.
What about mommy's and daddy's hearts though? Don't they get it back?
They do, it grows back not long after they've been bestowed their child. And from then on, they must make a vow to raise that child with love and respect to grow up into a strong and honest young man in rememberence of his former robotic self...and THAT, my boy, is where babies come from...
Um...I don't think that's-
In Japan.
But grandpa...we're in Japan.
I know, but now you know why those Americans love us so much. Ah ha ha ha ha!
Riiight...I'm gonna go play outside.
Bah, kids these days...
*roars from kitchen*
You vile demon, I told you to make dinner, do I have to slay you again? *pulls out sword*
The End :3