Thursday Prompt 6/9/11
Thursday Prompt 6/9/11
"The Promise"
[EXPLICIT LANGUAGE]
James stared down at his glass of scotch. The two ice cubes that had once cooled the bitter drink had long since melted. He hadn't had the heart to drink while Matthew was speaking. How could he when the fox's words he knew were true tightened his stomach and dried his throat? No amount of scotch could quench that thirst.
"James, listen. You know I have to do this. There's no way around it. We both know this... say something to me. Can't you just-" Matthew paused for a moment. When he spoke again, James could hear the tears in his voice, "God dammit, James. Would you just... just look at me, at least?"
James's eyes reluctantly met Matthew's. "What do you want me to say, Matthew?"
There was a silence between them that rang in James's ears. Even the tears that slowly slid down Matthew's muzzle were silent: no sob, no sniffle, not even a whimper of pain, no anything to break the tense silence. And then, when it was finally broken by the two words that even James knew were coming, the sound almost broke the dam that was holding back James's own sadness.
"The truth."
For the first time in the hour since he'd poured his scotch he brought it up to his muzzle. In one swallow it was gone. Without a sound James set the glass down on the counter and rubbed his paw across his lips. He grimaced at the taste of the liquor, watered down and stale from the air.
"I've already told you that, Matthew. There's nothing more I can say." James's voice was level, almost monotone.
"Nothing more... nothing more? What isn't there for you to say? Nothing more my ass. You haven't even apologized yet. Are you even sorry for what you did...?"
"Of course I-"
"Is there any remorse in that scotch driven head of yours? You got drunk, you slept with him..."
"I know what I di-"
"That's all you've told me: the truth. But let me ask you something. For even one moment did it cross your drunk-ass mind that it might have hurt me? That it might have devastated our relationship? That it would shatter the trust we have in eachoth-"
"Matthew!"
"What?"
"Would you shut the fuck up already?"
For only a moment there was another silence between the fox and otter. Matthew's auburn tail sliced the air back and forth behind him and his arms were crossed tightly in front of his chest. James's chair slid back as he stood and jabbed his finger at the fox as he spoke.
"I know what I did, alright? I just fucking told you. Why did I do it? I don't know. I really don't. I don't remember anything I did that night. I barely even remember what I did the morning after." James watched as tears rolled down Matthew's muzzle. Then he realized that tears were rolling down his own. James's thick tail lashed to one side in annoyance and slapped the side of the bar stool in front of their-but would it be "their" much longer?-counter, sending it sliding a couple of inches.
"But you know what I do know, Matthew? I know that I told you about it for a reason. I could have kept if from you. I've come home smelling like booze and other people before. I just told you I was at a party. And for the record, that was the truth too.
"And do you know why I told you the truth? Because I knew that even though I'm a grade-A fuck-up and I did some things that I regret, we could work through it. I had enough faith in us to know that we would fight and say things that we would apologize for later but we would keep going. Because we're stronger than our mistakes. Because I know we can make it through anything. Because..."
"Because what, James?" Matthew's arms had loosened though they were still folded and the tears in his eyes had stopped if only momentarily.
"Because, Matthew, because I love you."
For a third time a silence hung between the two like a curtain. Except this time there was a difference. The silence didn't hold any hate or anger, it didn't facilitate any harshness or austerity. The silence was simply there, like a calm after the storm. It seemed to be unending until finally it was interrupted by a dull smack.
James rubbed the back of his paw across his nose. A red streak of blood stained his otherwise brown fur darkening it into a deep crimson. The otter sat up, supporting himself on his elbows. Though his sight was still slightly spinning, he could see Matthew's form standing in front of him, paws clenched into fists. The fox let out a frustrated sigh and sat down on the floor next to James. They didn't say anything until James's nose had stopped bleeding.
"I'm sorry." Matthew said. James chuckled at that.
"It's alright. I think I deserved it. I just didn't know you could punch that hard."
"Did I break anything?"
"No, I didn't feel anything break."
"Good." Said Matthew.
James brought his clean paw to his nose. The bleeding had ceased but a dull pain throbbed in his muzzle and into his teeth. He could feel a headache coming on but he didn't get up to take an aspirin. James grabbed Matthews paw in his own and smiled, letting him know that he wasn't mad at him for the punch. Tears had started their way down the fox's cheeks again. He didn't shy away when James reached over and wiped them away with his thumb.
"How can I ever trust you again?" Matthew said.
"I don't know, Red. But I know that we can work through i-"
"But what if we can't? What if this is where it ends?"
"Well then I can't tell you how sad I would be." James turned himself to face Matthew and took both his paws in his. "But I love you and I hope you still love me. We can get through this. I know we can."
"But what if-" Matthew fell silent as James's lips fell onto his. They sat there like that for a time, savoring each other's beings. Finally James broke the kiss and looked deep into his foxy's eyes.
"We'll make it. I promise."
FA version: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5923596