And it was such a good day too
Ok. Why am I writing this? Partly because I am a fan of My Little Pony. But mostly because of how I feel about life. I feel I need to write it out. As of yet, this story has no point, but I want to write about how I see the world with one of the few characters that may have the same views. Read if you want.
One last thing. I haven't written a story in a few years. I don't plan on writing much more but if people seem to want me to, I might crank out a few more.
And it was such a good a day too
Fluttershy got home late that night. She had had a big day. It began simply enough with her weekly trip to the spa with Rarity. At the spa the two ponies ran into their friend Twilight Sparkle. Twilight told them about Pinky Pie's party.
It was the usual Pinky party. Too much food with too much sugar, too loud music and too many ponies. She loved Pinky very much but hated all the parties. She only really knew a few ponies there and all the other ponies just made her want to hide in a corner or leave. Still, she endured it with a begrudged smile and even tried to talk to a few ponies. That was another reason why she hated the music: even when she tried to move away from her comfort zone, no pony could hear her. Now she didn't even try. Twilight would try to get her to talk if she knew, but Fluttershy didn't want to talk to her or any pony about it. She just wanted to be with her friends in privacy. She hated conflicts. She just wanted to be happy like every pony else.
The party was really long but she didn't want to leave early and offend Pinky. She only had these five friends. She didn't want to loose a single one because she knew if one went the rest would follow and she would be alone again. She couldn't make friends, even if she tried. She counted herself lucky to have her five. She didn't have ANY friends for so long, much too long really. She had her animals, but they still couldn't talk back to her. She spent most of her time back before her friends looking at every pony else with their friends. She tried to learn the secrets they knew; why ponies liked them, why they could be relaxed around new ponies. Mostly why ponies didn't seem to like her though. She found out very quickly it was BECAUSE she was shy that people seemed to dislike her and leave her to herself, or make fun of her. She never got the courage to be outgoing because of that. She just ended up back in the forest talking to animals that couldn't talk back. She cried a lot back then. She just wanted ONE real friend.
Then she got one, and another and three more. She couldn't believe her luck. She was so happy then. She told all her animals as soon as she could that she had had a real conversation with some pony who had even said that they were friends. For a while it was good, but every pony seemed to need her to speak up. They wanted to change her. That wasn't even the real problem. Fluttershy wanted to change and be more talkative and have more friends but she just couldn't. No matter how much she tried, she was still struck mute around unfamiliar ponies. And she hated every pony's continuing attempts to change something that by now they should know won't change. She loved that they wanted to help her, but it wasn't going to change, or at least not by their means.
Beyond that, she began to notice quirks with all her friends. But even though they were just as silly or stupid or bad as her shyness, no pony seemed to try to change them. Pinky Pie was next to crazy and most likely needed to see a psychologist to get help, but no pony really cared. Twilight spent all her time in books, but every pony thought her reading was fine. AND HER NOTES!!!! She ALWAYS was writing notes to Princess Celestia. What could she possibly have to say every week to the princess of all of Equestria?!?!? What could be so important?! Rainbow Dash was always trying to make things into competitions. Even pointless things or things that every pony already knew who would win. She always thought she was great at everything. Apple Jack was always completely filthy with dirt and sweat. Rarity was the only pony who seemed to mention AJ's dirtiness but Rarity complained about everything. And was always much too worried about getting dirty. Rarity had an epiphany one day that she could get dirty but quickly lost it. Rarity was always complaining or talking about her dresses, or expensive things, and was most of the time generally shallow about life. No pony ever said that about her, or even acted like it. Ever. But every pony felt the need to make Fluttershy a better pony. She hated it but never mentioned it to any pony. She couldn't bear the thought of loosing a single friend, even if they can be troublesome, and annoying, and have double-standards, and judge her, and hurt her.
And now she was alone with her animal friends again. It was late. She didn't have much to do tomorrow. Just tend to animals. Like everyday. The only real thing she did was her weekly get-together with Rarity so she could listen to her complain. After that is was walk around town and look for her friends to try to talk to. But they were all so busy that she usually just felt like she was bugging them. So she ended up back in the woods talking to birds.
She had friends now. But a part of her was still so alone. Back in the woods looking at other ponies from afar. She could feel her friends slowly moving onto other things: giving up on her to focus on what they loved more. She knew she would always have Pinky Pie, but her and Pinky Pie were just so opposite that she didn't really want Pinky as her only friend. She just wanted to be happy again with friends who spend more time with her. Yet here she was, alone again, like most of her days, like most of her life. And the party earlier today only reminded her of how hard it was to talk to other ponies.
She climbed into bed as all this went through her head and she cried. She should be happy and calm and most importantly she shouldn't worry about loosing her friends because they were all good ponies for the most part, but she couldn't. She couldn't shake the thought or cheer up, because the more she thought about it, the worse she felt because now she felt shy, alone, afraid AND stupid. She only cried harder. A bunny came over to her bed and rubbed up against her. She picked it up and petted it lightly and stopped crying a little so she could open her eyes and look at it. It seemed to smile at her and beg for love. These were her friends through everything it seemed, but even though she shared everything with them and always had them, they still were not real friends.
She smiled at the bunny's attempt at cheering her up and even felt a little better, but she still felt horrible. She petted the bunny for what seemed like hours then finally put it on the ground and told it to go to its home. She cried again. She cried harder than before as everything came crashing back to her. She cried for a while as she kept thinking about how stupid she was for crying and how if her friends knew about it they would leave her, and about how they would probably leave her soon anyway. She thought of going back to being truly alone again, and how unfair it would be. And she finally fell asleep with tears covering her pillow and face. She slept hard but even cried in her sleep. She dreamed of her friends leaving her and fading into the shadows while the world seemed to melt away into the same black nothingness leaving only Fluttershy by herself with no direction to go or ponies to talk to. She was left only with the cold familiar feeling she had for far too long.