DANgER - kEEP AWAY
Just a little piece of my mind translated into something tangible for your (dis)pleasure. It's nothing special, though it is interior monologue. I've ackwardly translated yiff scenes to this format, so I'd appreciate any advice, critisisms, or general abuse if you're willing to share. I decided to keep my previous pseudonym so there would be absolutely no confusion as to the author, but other than that, enjoy this little piece. It has some mild sexual referrences so if this offends you, don't read any further. If you aren't of legal age to read this, then don't continue either. This work of fiction, and everything herein is material of my own manipulation.
I hate this food. My mother is an awful cook. I should tell her. Nah, I don't feel like hearing her cry tonight. Maybe if she didn't make such a grotesque excuse for a meal I wouldn't be having this problem. I wish she would stop asking me if it's okay, she's going to make me say it. Stupid bitch, if she had just left me alone...
What does my dad want now? Idiot, always watching those dirty movies. Why doesn't he just do it with my mother. This is so nasty, if he would just take a shower maybe even once a week it wouldnt' be so bad. All this dried cum... it's making me nauscious. Damn, so many fleas to pick out. This is just less appealing for me. Gah, he is so bitter, like dirt and cum... oh wait... At least he isn't making me suck him all the way. This table is so cold, it's making me shiver. I bet he's enjoying himself though. There's the plate mom left after she ran from the table. Ugh, I don't feel like smelling that crap, besides it looks so much more appetizing on the floor. Gawd, what's keeping him?! Oh... he's already inside. Well that just took away my steam. I don't see how my mother stands this guy. He is small enough as it is and lost any push left in him. Oh there she is now. I should ask her, but she looks kind of drunk. Ugh, would he cum already, I hate watching them kiss. My ass is getting cold...
Stupid Alarm clock, if it wasn't so loud I wouldn't have had to break it. Well, I'm awake so I might as well -do- something. I haven't been to school in awhile, and it'll be much better than sitting around letting him entertain himself after his dirty movies. I wonder if they'd make me go home for wearing just a jock strap. Better not risk it. Hmm... maybe I shouldn't wait a week before showering. I hope these clothes are clean. I wonder if this makes me look gothic enough. I'd hate for them to think I'm trying to be something I'm not. I should wear my contact today, I'd rather look blind than have these ugly yellow eyes. Where is the damn thing?! How did it get under my bed... just need to dust it off... there. This is always fun when I wear my contact. They think I can see into their souls. It's fun when they're afraid of me... they need to learn some fear...
Now I remember why I don't come here anymore, everyone is so happy. It's disgusting. Yeah, he knows he is worthless, that's why his smile is so fake. They don't think I'm worth anything, but they don't know I can see inside of them. She is abused at home by her dear old daddy. She cries in the bathrooms when she thinks no one is watching... I'm watching. I'm always watching...
I forgot I had friends here, Well, fuck buddies anyway. That's all we do now. I bend over a toilet and they do me. At least no one says anything about us. They don't know what I'd do if they made me stop... they are always afraid of me. Geoff is the one I've known the longest. He's alot like me, his dad has sex with him when his mother isn't around. We understand each other at least. I'd never tell him, but I like it when we have sex in the bathrooms. A lot better than with Jakov or Brandon. I'd never tell him how sexy I think he is. He's happy with just getting at my tailhole and I don't want to ruin our friendship. I have to admit, I hate wolves, but Geoff is the exception. I dont' know where I'd be if I didn't know him... well I wouldn't come here, that's for sure...
Ugh, blood... damn Andrew. Him and his friends just like to watch me suffer, that's why they beat me. I wish I hadn't come to the football field to meet Jakov. He just had to have something different by doing it here. Maybe he wanted me to get beat. I hate spitting but I hate swallowing blood even more. I want as much of me out of this body as possible. I don't want to tell Andrew that his buddy who's holding me is really getting hot from this, I don't like to embarass people infront of their friends, but damn, if he doesn't stop shoving his crotch into my ass I'm gonna say something. Well at least they aren't beating on me anymore, but I feel bad for that guy. Andrew is going to break him. Sometimes I watch Andrew and wish he would break me. I have dreams that he does me until I collapse into nothingness. It feels so good in my dreams. It's the only place I can die. It's cold under these bleachers but I'm too sore to move and I can barely breathe. I think they broke a rib again. Oh well. Stupid Jakov with a smile on his face. He just wanted some fun before we fucked, sadistic bastard. Well at least I can feel him inside me unlike my dad, but being a horse like he is, there really is no question why. He likes to do it dry too... I don't know why. It feels okay I guess, but I hate having to clean up the blood afterwards. It's so cold, but he is so warm...
How the hell am I supposed to know what the algorithm of the perimeter of a circle is?! They act like I'm smart. I hate it when they try and teach me something. It's useless. Fucking Brandon keeps staring at me. I wonder which bathroom we'll do it in today. That stupid wolf. I don't know why I am friends with him but I am. We don't even have anything in common. At least with Jakov, Geoff, and I our dads' fuck us. He just wants my tailhole. Oh well, at least I don't have to learn anything. Yeah I'm leaving this stupid class, I know Brandon will follow me. I just want to get fucked already. Too bad for them I know how to lock the doors in this school. Brandon always likes to look at me when he does it, so I have to lay down. I don't like it when they look at me. He also likes to lick my feet too, but I don't care. Eventually he gets to the reason he follows me around. He is already dating someone else though. I wonder how that person would feel if they knew what we did. Oh well, it doesn't matter, it's not me. As long as he does me I could care less. I wish he would stop staring into my eyes...
Why is Geoff calling me Rave? He knows I hate that. My name is Raven. If I wanted to be called Rave that's what my name would be. Bah, I'm not a cute kitty. If he doesn't shut the hell up with that I'm not going to let him do me. What?! H-he wants to just talk... instead of having sex. I don't mind... but I don't talk alot. No one wants to see my face. Why does it mean so much to him to know how I feel? I wish he would just screw me already... I don't like this feeling I'm getting. My stomach is bothering me and I just feel like hugging him and never letting go... I don't want to mean anything to anyone. I just want to be fucked... why can't he just fuck me...
So what I drew some cartoons of Andrew stabbing me. They don't know how special our relationship is. I wish this shrink would stop staring at me, he's looking into my eyes... I'm going to claw out my eyes. Why don't I talk about my family?! I don't have a family. They're just people who come and keep me alive with half-assed food and a place to sleep at night. They're nothing special. How could he call us a family. His dad must never have had sex with him when his mother was away. It's not fair he doesn't know what it feels like. He should. He looks like he wants to do me. I wonder if I bent over this couch what he would do. He'd probably do me. They all like my kitty behind. Even Andrew... He's just waiting to get me alone so he can break me...
Please Geoff, just fuck me... don't make me want more... just sex... that's all I'm worth... just sex... I can't breathe when he kisses me like that... just sex... Why do I cry when he holds me? Why can't he just let go... just sex... I don't want to feel things for anyone else... I don't like this... I can't be worth anymore... than just sex... Why is he looking into my eyes?! I think I'm suffocating... it's not coming fast enough... no stop kissing me... I just want him to use me... I can't love him... can't... just sex...